Sharing the Right-Now Stories

Yesterday I told you about that time I was terrified of sickness. It was a fear-filled time in my life that I am now able to look back on in an almost puzzled kind of way, wondering how I could have gotten so worked up for so long.

sharing the right-now stories emily p freeman

It’s easy to say that seven years later. What isn’t so easy to consider are the places I’m walking through right now, the ones that maybe aren’t so easy to talk about because I’m still in the middle of them. It’s important to tell the stories we’ve lived and come through. It’s also important to tell the one’s we’re living right now. But these aren’t as easy to find words for.

Today over at (in)courage I’m attempting to find the words where I am at present - hanging on to hope when the fog rolls in. You may read it and think well you still didn’t tell us much about where you are right now and to that, I will agree and simply say that is one reason why it’s hard to share the present, especially when the present involves fog. Because it’s not only hard to see where you’re going, it’s also hard to see where you are.

But writing helps. Hope*ologie helps. Routines and breath prayers and stillness helps. Spring break will help (starts tomorrow!) And hearing from others who are in similar places helps, too. Hope you’ll join me over at (in)courage.

That Time I Was a Hypochondriac a Little Bit

hope at chatting at the skySeveral years ago when our kids were still in preschool, I went through what you might call a terrified-of-my-family-getting-sick stage. If someone mentioned during a playdate that their kid threw up the night before, I would gather my children that very moment and straight up leave their house.

If one of my kids complained of a tummy ache, I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. It got so bad that even if I read on Facebook that someone was sick, it would trigger the fear and obsessive hand-washing. I didn’t want to leave the house or let people come over because of the germ potential. I thought about sickness all day, every day and would look longingly at my friends who didn’t seem to be as worried as I was.

What would that kind of freedom be like?

I’m not sure I have good answers for anyone who is in that exact place right now. I can say that one of the reasons it was such a scary place to be was because it felt like things would never, ever change.

The trouble with fear is it tells you things will always be the way they are now.

I didn’t realize how bad it was that year until later when it wasn’t that way anymore. I bet you have seasons of life you look back on and wonder what your deal was. Why all the fear and obsession?!

Looking back helps me, though, because it reminds me that even though change may not come quickly or the way I want, change does eventually come.

What change are you hoping for these days?

for your weekend

emily freeman - chatting at the sky

May I not despise small beginnings even if they lead only to small endings. When I seek to grasp for bigger and wider, may I remember how much I treasure smallness, simplicity, and soul space. If I begin to work hard to carve out a sense of myself, may I turn - again and again - toward the presence of God. And may I ever remember that no one gets to tell me who I am except my Father. Any commentaries about my identity, either out there or in here,  may I let them gently go. Enjoy your weekend, … [Continue reading]

For the Soul Who Feels Pulled in All Directions

emily freeman chatting at the sky

During the last several months, Annie's now-famous statement we will make art has been working its way deeper into me as I've been trying new things and struggling through the learning of them. For the past few months, I have spent a lot of time thinking, writing, staring, planning, and waiting. I haven't heard much in the silence and it's frustrated me, if you want to know the truth. As I listen the fog only gets thicker rather than more clear. I don't like walking in the dark but sometimes … [Continue reading]

Sharing a Secret and an Invitation (!!)

hopeologie

"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at a beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up." - Hope Floats This past fall when I first announced plans to host an event with my family, I heard from many of you from all over the country expressing interest in coming. We wanted to keep the gathering small and somewhat intimate to allow for conversation and connection so we limited the number of … [Continue reading]

for your weekend

for your weekend - chatting at the sky

This weekend, in the regular rhythms of home and play, of work and washing, of listening and slow conversation, may I see God even though I don't see God. May I not demand a spectacle, a miracle, or a sign. May I simply, quietly, be still and know. Enjoy your weekend, friends. Here are a few good reads for this Sunday afternoon: Season of Returning: Rain at Winter's End by Ruth Haley Barton The Daily Routines of Geniuses by Sarah Green for Harvard Business Review On Dancing, Fresh … [Continue reading]

This One’s for the Wanna-be Hopeful

I'm thankful for hope, the kind that doesn't expect always sunshine, but the kind that holds on no matter how things appear, the kind that reminds me how I feel about things isn't the ultimate truth. - emily p. freeman

This morning started out bright, sun coming up behind our house in confident pink and orange glory. And I, mood highly swayed by the weather, picked out a skirt from my closet to wear and hopped in the shower once the kids were off to school, ready to face the day with energy and focus. I got dressed in my skirt with a pair of green flats, even played with patterns a bit. But by the time I fixed my hair, the cul-de-sac was draped over with a gray cloudy blanket and I felt my soul sink a … [Continue reading]

Tuesdays Are For Living

light at chatting at the sky

It's dark in the sunroom this morning, hours before the sun comes up. The wall of windows reflects the light from my lamp, the end table, my own face. I come here in the early quiet, pour the coffee, let out the dog, sit with a blanket, and listen as the yard wakes up behind me. What stories will I tell today? Today is finally April but most of the trees don't know it yet. A long winter has kept them sleeping right on through March. The little ones wake up first,  shooting out flowers at the … [Continue reading]

for your weekend

chatting at the sky

This weekend may our minds be filled with peace from constant questioning, wondering, feeling our way in the dark. May the light of Christ spread out like gold, liquid from the hot light of truth. May he seep under our doorways and into our dark rooms, covering every inch. As we sit in our Christ-room, may we have the courage to see our reflection and remember the words of Barbara Brown Taylor, that "Jesus was not brought down by atheism and anarchy. He was brought down by law and order allied … [Continue reading]

Let’s Share What We Learned in March

joy wilson and scarlet johansson equals shakira

It's the end of the month, and that means it's time to share what we've learned! Remember, this is a place to share all kinds of learning, both the silly and the serious. I lean toward sharing the silly since I tend to share the serious every other day. But any and all learning is welcome. Here are 5 things I learned in March in no particular order: 1. The Wizard of Oz makes everything better. 2. Monopoly. We played for the first time as a family the other day and I realize I've never … [Continue reading]