chatting at the sky

5 ways to breathe in a breathless world

May 15, 2012

Yesterday, I sat in the middle of plenty of time to write, dove down deep into my writing reserves, and all I came up with was one hand filled with sand, the other with water. Both slipped right through my fingers, nothing there to hold on to. The whole day went that way. Dinner, bedtime, evening. I was a portion there, a portion in the past, and a heavy portion in the future – a mind split up into too many pieces.

It was Monday. I can’t afford to have a Monday go that way.

What can we do when the sun rises up on all our good intentions but instead of giving the light we need to get our work done, it burns all the life right off the surface and scorches us down to the core? How can we breathe in our breathless worlds?

1. remember that productivity is not your god

We need to recognize our own uselessness sometimes. And not just recognize it and know it’s there, but to actually live it. To still the hands and close the eyes and know that really, we have nothing to offer alone. If we are unable to still and to close, sometimes the Lord is gracious to quiet us on his own terms in the form of a useless day. It seems a waste to me, but I believe he loves me enough to spend a whole day reminding me that productivity is not my god.

2. don’t confuse the urgent with the important

Urgent is bossy. Important is patient. Checking your email will not make it better. In fact, on the day when I’m grasping to be productive, checking my email makes it worse. A lot worse. Email feels urgent, but it is rarely important. Urgent things come in from outside and hop up and down on the ground of our souls, shaking us up until we engage with them. Important things rise up from the convictions of our spirit and line the path of our lives with intention, purpose, focus, and heart. I need to know the difference. My family begs me to know the difference.

3. move toward community, not away

When I’m feeling breathless, my instinct is to retreat alone. Sometimes that’s needed and good. Often times for me, that is my way of grasping for control. Instead, I made a commitment to community nearly 11 years ago to move towards my husband, for better or worse. It doesn’t seem like an answer, but it is. Continue to move toward community. Two solitudes gathering together can be messy, needy, broken. But it can also bring life.

4. learn how to close the day

The hours dedicated to the work have come and they have gone. And now it’s time to enter in to the next season of the day. But I hang on. Oh, how tightly I hang on. Check one more email. Refresh one more page. Jot down one more item on the list. I don’t know how to stop. But I must learn.

5. lift up your eyes

One useless day does not have to mean writer’s block for months on end or failure to meet a goal forever. It does not mean you are on the wrong track or chose the wrong profession or are hopelessly lazy. One useless day is simply that: one day. We usually see what we look for, so if you look for the gift in that day, if you dare to set aside your own compulsions, you might see this hilarious uselessness as a felt reminder of your own smallness. And oh, the blessed relief of my smallness! And so be small, and lift up your eyes to see where your help comes from.

How do you catch your breath in a breathless world?

Tagged rest Filed Under breathe, faith 44 Comments

for your weekend

May 12, 2012

May your weekend be filled with less do and more be. May your coffee stay hot, your muffins not burn, and your mothers know how much you love them. And if your mother is not within your earthly grasp for whatever reason, may your Father in heaven stand in the gap for you. And if you are the mother? May you be celebrated with joy. And if they disappoint you? May your eyes be given a greater perspective, your heart treasure up the gifts in secret, and your hands be eager to show them grace. Enjoy your weekend, friends.

Tagged thankfulness Filed Under a prayer of blessing 14 Comments

the life that changes everything

May 10, 2012

The escalator moves too slowly. I’m desperate to catch the bus. I’m asleep, but my mind doesn’t know that. All my mind knows is Dancing With The Stars is about to start and I’m definitely going to miss the star-shaped bus that take me to the studio.

Did I mention I’m asleep? And also that I don’t even watch Dancing With the Stars?

It’s just an example of the running-to-catch-up feeling I have lately. When I don’t acknowledge it in my waking, it swirls around in my dreams. My jaw is in a constant state of tight. It’s like my face is poised for a punch at a moments notice. I sit at my computer, check the email, sip the coffee, drive to the post office, stand in front of the flowers at the grocery store, and the whole time, I clench.

I think about Africa, the Philippines, North Carolina, and heaven. I think about politics and Jesus and American Idol and dinner. I think about the pool opening soon and also children who don’t have clean water. I think about pajama day at preschool and how I’m not sure I have any clean. I think about writing. I think about love.

Before he was crucified, Jesus told his disciples that it was better that he go away. They couldn’t imagine how it could be better for him to be gone, but Jesus doesn’t tell lies so they struggled through his truth. The truth didn’t feel true. That’s the way it is sometimes. But the truth is, the only thing better than having Jesus beside us is having Jesus within us.

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever, that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.”

John 14:16-17

His life within us changes everything. And if it doesn’t, then we need to re-think some things. I’ve been doing some re-thinking lately. What have you been thinking about?

p.s. Excited about yesterdays response to the loosely organized book club this summer! Working on details and some ideas – will update you next week.

Tagged faith Filed Under breathe, faith 34 Comments

one thing I’ve wanted to do with you but haven’t yet

May 9, 2012

It has been over eight months since Grace for the Good Girl was released. During that time, I have had giveaways, shared the writing process, showed you videos, pictures, excerpts, excitement, and fear. But one think I haven’t done is actually spend time talking through the book with you.

I know lots of you have already read it, but I also know some of you maybe haven’t. Or maybe you’re in the middle of it but don’t have anyone to talk with it about.

I wanted to throw this out there – would any of you be interested in going through the book together this summer? Not a Bible study, really. More a loosely organized book club. I like the idea of having a an on-going summer conversation around the truths in this book. If you like that idea too, what would be the easiest format for you? I’m thinking of just posting here at Chatting at the Sky for 8 Fridays in the summer, but then that doesn’t lend itself to a lot of conversation except in the comments.

I could post here and then make a Facebook page for all interested in joining and we could discuss over there. If you are interested in joining in, say so in the comments and tell me your ideas about format. At this point I’m open to any and all suggestions.

Thank you to those of you who read and left a review of Scary Hope last week! Reviews really do help books and authors. I’ll send 5 of you a copy of my own book as a thank you: Heidi, Brooke, Janna, and Caroline – I’ve sent you an email. Anna, I would love to send you a book as well – email me at emilyatchattingattheskydotcom. Thanks! PS. My sister is still in Africa with Compassion – continue to follow there trip through the end of the week!

Tagged grace for the good girl Filed Under Grace for the Good Girl 184 Comments

my sister is in Africa, y’all.

May 7, 2012

It’s February of 2011. I get a two line email from Shaun Groves that basically says, “We’re going to the Philippines. Wanna come?” It said more than that, but that was the basic point. It will take me two weeks to tell him yes.

Shaun and I talk on the phone while I’m still making up my mind, and I will never forget what he says. “There are many reasons why you may have to say no. But please, don’t let fear be one of them.” Fear isn’t the only voice I hear, but it’s the loudest. Still, I say yes anyway. I haven’t regretted it.

It’s February-ish of 2012. My sister gets that same email from that same Shaun Groves. Same fear, different location. She says no. She actually says no way. Not gonna do it. Nope. She calls Shaun Groves and tells him so. Then, she calls me.

She tells me how hard this decision is, because she knows I know. She tells me how uncomfortable she feels, how unsettled. And then she says, Well, I know I’ll feel better about all this once I decide for sure.

*Crickets*

I smile, but she can’t see it. “Um, didn’t you already call Shaun and tell him no?”

Yeah.

“So you’ve already decided for sure . . . Haven’t you?”

*silence*

Oh.

Sometimes we have to actually make a decision and live with it for a bit before we know if it’s really the decision we want to make. An hour after we hang up, my phone rings again.

Welp, I talked to Shaun Groves. I’m going to Tanzania.

On the phone, she is already a different person.This trip is already changing her. And after 48 hours of travel (that’s a lot of travel), she is there. In Tanzania. On that trip she said no to.

image courtesy of the lovely and talented Keely Scott

The Bible says that perfect love casts out fear. Maybe it goes both ways. Maybe fear casts out love. When I roll around in my fear, it’s really hard for me to love you. In his book, The Anxious Christian (that I finally finished), Rhett Smith was invited to speak at an event that he was scared to say yes to. But he tells himself (and us), “Anxiety is not a valid reason.” Rhett sounds a lot like Shaun Groves. And they both sound a lot like Jesus.

Perfect love casts out fear. But fear is not useless – the fear can actually be used to lead us to uncover what lies beneath. Fear is scary. But so is hope. If we are willing, we can invite love into it.

And so my sister is in Tanzania writing about the ministry of Compassion International along with a team of willing, open-hearted writers. And I’m a messy wreck about the whole thing. Messy. Wreck. Every time I think of them, I start to cry. I did not expect this messy wreck-ness and I’m not sure what to do about it except tell you to read their posts and maybe sponsor some kids. I will be walking around my house in senseless circles and refreshing their blogs every 10 minutes hoping for a post. Please join me in praying for them.

The Compassion Bloggers have written their first posts of the week. I’ve linked to them here. They’ll be writing every day this week. Any support you could give them will mean more than you will ever be able to know.

The Nester

Gussy

Big is the New Small

Resourceful Mommy

Homeschool Creations

Minivans are Hot

Keely Scott

Shaun Groves

P.S. If you downloaded our dad’s 99 cent book, Scary Hope, and wrote an honest review on Amazon thank you so much! I said I’d announce winners from the pool of reviewers today but it looks like it will be tomorrow. Thanks, friends.

Tagged Compassion Filed Under faith 21 Comments

when hope is scary

May 4, 2012

“I hope you accept confusion, questions, crooked lines, fatigue, fog, loneliness, darkness, rejection, and low self-esteem as part of the journey of hope. These things come and go and have nothing to do with hope; they only have to do with how you feel about hope.”

Gary Morland, Scary Hope

Hope and fear are playing in a constant game of tug-of-war. And all of us live somewhere on the rope. It’s tempting to think that the closer we get to the hope side, the less we’ll be afraid. But everyone knows that when one side starts to win in tug-of-war, the other side just pulls harder. For those of us willing to see, life is never just one thing.

In the winter of 1998 when I met The Man in the seminary cafeteria, hope showed up as the tiniest speck of light. And so the fear stayed equally small. Love wasn’t a threat yet, just an idea.

One year later, in the winter of 1999, love threatened to overwhelm me with dreams and desire and longing. Because now, the guy from the cafeteria was a man I thought I could be with forever. Hope showed up as a brilliant morning sunrise over a sparkling, mirror sea.

But hope didn’t show up alone, because this is war. Fear of rejection, exposure, and change hovered just over my shoulder while I wondered about this man who would later become my husband. Unlike the year before, now love was more than just a possibility. Now, love was a full-out, all-in reality. Hope was bright. And so in turn, fear was heavy. Because now there was much to lose.

Real hope doesn’t show up without real fear. Most of the time, hope is scary.

My dad wrote a short-ish ebook called Scary Hope: Courage and a kick to hug hope, face fear, and get going. I talked about it a while back when it was available as a PDF. Now, Scary Hope has been formatted for Kindle so for 99 cents, you can start reading today. Hope has never been so cheap!

We are made to live life fully awake, to know God and be known by him, to reach down deep into the desires he placed within us and pull out by the handful. But what if that’s selfish? What if I don’t know my desire? What if I wreck it all up? Dad has asked all of those questions and a ton more, has carried hope around his pocket for years because the fear of reaching for it was too intimidating.

But he’s pulling out the hope now. He’s holding it in his hands and putting it down on paper so you can hold it too. The fear is real, but so is the hope. It might be just the word you need to get going.

His Amazon bio may be the best author bio I’ve ever read. Here’s a peek:

“I don’t have any awards, official credentials, or special qualifications. I can be proud or defensive of that, depending on the day. But overall it’s kind of nice being an unschooled, ordinary guy. I’ve always liked the people who follow their passion and make a dent without credentials or permission from the authorities.”

That’s about half of the bio – go to his author page to read the rest. If you download the book (for 99 cents!) you can read it in one sitting, or about an hour.

If you have already read Scary Hope (or if you download it today and read it sometime this weekend) and would be willing to write an honest review on Amazon, let me know you did so in the comments. As a thank you, I’d love to pick five reviewers at random and send you a signed copy of my own book. I’ll list the winners here on Monday, May 7.

Download Scary Hope to your kindle for 99 cents
Leave an honest review
Visit Gary’s blog
Follow him on Twitter
Hug hope. Face Fear. Get going.

Tagged art, faith Filed Under a giveaway, art, faith 30 Comments

are you an open minister or an opinion manager?

May 3, 2012

For the ten years we’ve been married, my husband has worked as a youth pastor. In youth ministry years, that’s practically a lifetime. And if you don’t already know him in real life, then whether you admit it or not, you already have an idea of what he might be like. I know you do.

It’s true, we fit many of the stereotypes a couple in ministry might have: I went to Bible college, he went to seminary. I am a sign language interpreter turned author. He reads commentaries for leisure. We have three kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. It’s mildly ridiculous.

But there are other ways in which we are perhaps nothing like what you might think. Yesterday we talked about how, in many ways, we always think we are the complex and complicated ones and they (whoever they are) are the ones who need to adjust, grow, open their minds. We’re defined by God, but other people have their opinions as well. For those of us in ministry (or anyone, really), how much do we allow their opinions to matter to us?

I was asked to write for Ed Stetzer’s Thursday is for Thinkers spot over at his LifeWay research blog, and let’s just go ahead and state the obvious, I’m not nearly smart enough to post over there. Seriously, I scored way low on the Myers Briggs Thinker scale (Feeler all the way) and also, way low on the SAT back in high school. But we don’t need to talk about that. Needless to say, it’s humbling to be there and I would be ever so thrilled to have you join me. (Read, please join me). The post will go live at 11 EST – would love to have you enter into this conversation.

Tagged youth ministry Filed Under guest post, youth ministry 6 Comments