2008 January | chatting at the sky

comfort and joy

January 31, 2008

The great bloggy giveaway has got me thinking…(check out the previous post if you don’t know what I’m talking about). Let me just start by saying I know I’m a little bit of a loser. But I derive an arguably unhealthy amount of comfort and joy from certain TV shows. There. I said it.

It started with The Brady Bunch and continued with Survivor. (I know I’ve talked about this here before.) But tonight is big because it marks the end of an eight month long TV induced depression… when LOST aired its season finale. More importantly, though, its been eight months of living life here without my sister living 5 minutes away. But also, eight months of wondering how they get off the island and why they would want to go back. Seriously, though, its been eight months since John and I left our old church and started over at a new one. What?

And thus continues this strange journey I’ve been on of realizing how closely I associate certain TV shows with stages of my life.

I don’t watch THAT much TV, I’m just fiercely loyal to those shows I do watch, largely because of the sentiment I attach to them. It’s not even that I so like LOST, for example. I mean, I watch it…yeah. And I look somewhat forward to watching it. But more than that, I look forward to looking forward to watching it with PEOPLE. See…its the anticipation and the company. I’m making dinner tonight for the season premiere. We’re having some of our favorite people over…because LOST is dinner and Breyers ice cream and favorite people. Same as Survivor will always be good food at my sisters’ when her boys still used sippy cups and their house was only minutes away.

And then there’s Friends. I didn’t watch it regularly when it was actually on the air, but I borrowed Season 1 from a friend when my girls were small and I was nursing (this seems to be a pattern for me) and I found such joy, such sweet company. So I shamelessly asked for the entire series for Christmas last year and thanks to John and Costco, look what I got.
That’s 10 seasons, people. So its now what I watch when John is out of town or I feel anxious at night and just need a laugh or a…friend (I now officially hate myself). So while I’m down here (you know, in the place where NBC executives most want me to be: addicted, needy, wrapped up, tricked), let me go ahead and show you these.

Look, it’s 1994 Joey..
And 2004 Joey.
Yeah…still hating myself. Seriously, though, doesn’t everyone do this? Maybe they don’t, which is what I’m starting to realize. Because to me, The Wonder Years is a cold, cozy, rainy school night in Iowa, The Smurfs is a long john donut on a Saturday morning, and The Brady Bunch is afternoon sunshine and an after school snack. Right? RIGHT?! I’m starting to hyperventilate. Maybe 1994 Rachel will make me feel better.
Oh, and by the way, a long john donut is what my sister and I called chocolate eclairs because what kid knows the word ‘eclair’?

Filed Under a freak 14 Comments

show me that smile again…

January 30, 2008

Anyone feel like a carnival? Rocks in My Dryer is hosting one and I wanted to play. So welcome! Click on the little logo to see the master list of giveaway goodies. But once you see what I have, you will look no further. I know you want it. I also know you wish you didn’t. But you do.
I bought this the summer after the baby was born mainly because I spent a lot of time nursing and in the middle of the night, reading requires too much light (not to mention thinking) and we didn’t have cable. Besides, who doesn’t want to revert back to 1985 in the middle of the night while nursing a newborn…?

I expected it to be somewhat entertaining. After all, Kirk Cameron was quite the heart-throb, was he not? What I didn’t expect, however, was that everything would be so…familiar: the greenhouse back porch, Mike’s leather jacket, Carol’s big red glasses, the wooden truck on the shelf in the kitchen. I even found myself thinking the lines in my head before the characters said them. What? Where in my brain is there room to store the 20 year old script to Growing Pains? I was equal parts pleased and embarrassed by this ability of mine.

But I am no longer nursing and I have it memorized anyway. So now its your turn! As long as you live in the US, you are eligible! Aren’t you lucky? The winner will be randomly picked and posted on Saturday. Just leave a comment (with an email if you don’t have a blog link) to be entered to win your very own used-but-still-good copy of season one of Growing Pains.

Mike Seaver is waiting.

Filed Under a freak 95 Comments

or her, either

January 29, 2008

So I just posted about one twin…and now I’m feeling guilty for not posting about the other. See how that works? And I wonder why I can never give them one-on-one attention. Because it isn’t FAIR! (A word I have come to hate, by the way. How did they learn that word, anyway? Certainly not from me). But in this case, it just doesn’t seem right to talk of one and not the other. So if you stop reading now because you’re having my-kids-overload, I’ll understand.

Still here? Then let me introduce you to twin B:
When we found out I was pregnant, it was a great day as we had been trying for over 6 months and then, there it was. Two lines. (Actually, 6 lines…I took 3 tests just to be sure.) Then I started getting really, grossly sick. Then I found out there were 2 kids growing in there. Then I had a nervous breakdown. Not really, but almost.

The doctors guessed our twins were identical from what they could tell in the ultrasounds (I’ll spare you the details about placentas). But when they were born, they were different from the start. We needed no DNA test to tell us the obvious: these girls were fraternal. And so it began.

While I always thought of her sister as an older woman in a baby’s body, this one was a genuine rosy-cheeked, bright-eyed ball of baby. She laughed hard, cried hard, slept hard and played hard. And she still does. It often seems as though the party doesn’t start until she arrives. She loves football almost as much as helping me cook. She idolizes her older boy cousins. She is responsible, sensitive, funny and a sucker for chocolate. She likes the fact that her name has 2 L’s. She is the spitting image of my mother-in-law.

As I think of her growing up into a young woman, I imagine she and I will get along well. Maybe that’s because I don’t see much of myself in her. She will be a compassionate, life-loving grown up. And though I’m not a fan of that I Love you Forever book (you know, the one where the grown man’s mom sneaks into his house at night to hold him like she did when he was a baby…creepy), I can kind of relate to the sentiment. She is the best snuggler in the house. I know I will miss that one day.

Filed Under a mother 6 Comments

because it’s never all about her

January 29, 2008

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about parenting and how we only get one shot. The girls go to preschool a few times a week now and that means the baby and I get lots of time together, just us. And I’m beginning to reap the benefits of that, as I notice my fuse with him is much longer than with his older sisters. I don’t like that. But it has reminded me to notice the girls as individuals and to see them as they are, not as I think they should be.

And so I look at her to see her and not just to hand her a juice. She is one of two, shared a womb, a birthday, then a crib, now a room. She answers to “Girls!” and hardly ever gets a parent to herself.

She thinks that the Prince is Cinderella’s daddy. She has to kiss me on both cheeks and hug on both sides when saying goodbye. She likes long hair. She could play pretend by herself for hours. She refuses to wear hair clips because she’s convinced they’ll blow away. She won’t let toys float in the bathtub because she’s afraid they’ll go down the drain. She likes carrots and loves to dance, though not in public. She is girly and dainty, feisty and sweet, and is crazy about Diego. And she’s looking more like me everyday.

She is our first-born…our only child for 2 minutes. And then her sister came following quickly after and she’s been sharing her world ever since. I am so thankful they have each other…what a blessing to have a sister who is the same age to play with now and to depend on later. But there are challenges that come with the blessing and I want to learn creative ways for them to feel special and separate as well as having a strong relationship with each other.

So this is a step for me…to focus on one at a time. To receive from the Lord a holy imagination concerning them and who He has made them to be, both now and later. So here’s to you, sweet girl. Thanks for sharing the spotlight.

Filed Under a mother 7 Comments

my disorder

January 24, 2008

Something is seriously wrong with me.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said those words here before, but this time it’s really and seriously true.

How is it that a 30 year old college graduate, wife and mother of three does not know how to clean her house? What is the DEAL? The girls have been with my parents for a few days, so during the day, it’s just been me and the baby. I wanted to take advantage of the time without all the kids here to clean up a bit…you know, without distractions. But guess what? Turns out I AM the distraction.

Yesterday I go to the girls room and I’m cleaning: emptying the toy basket onto the floor and sorting out purses from wigs, Barbie shoes from baby doll clothes…you know, cleaning. I start to notice groups of things that go together. Like these baby dolls.
Look at them. None of them have clothes (except the littlest one upon which I took pity. Is it normal that my girls only UNdress the dolls?) As I continued to clean, I saw another grouping take shape.
I felt like I was doing something, making progress. Grouping like things with like things. Until I realized maybe this isn’t really cleaning. Did I change a sheet? No I did not. Did I windex anything? No I did not. Did I vacuum? Of course I did not vacuum.

I sorted. I organized. I rearranged. This is not cleaning, people. It is a component of cleaning, I know. But this is a problem, a compulsion to have all things that match be put together, a disorder of ordering. Instead of changing sheets, I took photos of naked baby dolls in a pile. Worse, after I took the photo, I stuffed all the dolls in a cabinet in disarray to get them out of the way. At least they were all in one place. What is wrong with me? That is what kids do when mom says “clean your room”. That is not what mom does when cleaning kids room.

I have another problem. I have heard of people who clean one. room. at. a time. How is this to be done?
I start here and almost get the bed almost made. But then I remember Oh yeah. I need to finish adding towels to this.
Then, I walk right by this.
…and turn my head the other way. On my way back to my room to finish the bed, I see this:
So guess what I did? You’re lookin’ at it.

Everything I’ve read about housekeeping talks about routines. What is that word? I think it is important, but I’m not sure how to have one. I did FlyLady for a while. She talks about baby steps and starting with keeping your sink clean and shiny. That worked for a while. Until it didn’t anymore (as you can clearly see).

So there you have it. I like to sort. I like to organize. And I really like to have clean clothes and clean dishes but I’m not so crazy about actually cleaning them. I would love to hear from anyone who has a routine and actually follows it. Because truth is, I really do sort of enjoy keeping house…I just want it to work for me and not against me. Any ideas?

Filed Under a freak, a mess 28 Comments

chatting at the sky

January 22, 2008

In her song Tuesday, Sarah Masen sings about the tired ending of a too-long day. The lyrics aren’t explicit, but I think they describe a girl who had lived a regular day in a regular life without making space for her soul to breathe. It seems like sometimes when we most need a source outside of ourselves we are least likely to seek one.

I find myself in a similar place on my very own Tuesday. I am foggy and droopy and I need a shower. The days are running together lately. I am still clinching my jaw. I feel behind. I have a vague sense that I have been looking for me. In the foreground is the task, the day, the laundry, the meal, the living. But in the background, there is still just a girl. And it is in this place of need where I remember that it is not left to me alone to finish the task, to have the right answer, to be amazing and perfect while saving the world. But it is up to me to be the girl that He has made…and to trust Him to be Himself in and around me.

At the end of the day, the girl in the song stops and takes notice of the beauty in life that surrounded her…and she doesn’t only notice, she enters in. She stops to chat at the sky. And in doing so, she sees her Creator.

So while this blog is a place for me to chat about parenting and coffee and photo-taking and bargains, I hope for it to also be a place to remember. A place to just be and invite others to be alongside of me. A place that encourages me to write and reflect and find meaning in the mundane. And maybe, by chatting in this place, I will find treasures of His presence weaved into the days I am blessed to reflect upon.

Filed Under a girl, a masterpiece, a mess 10 Comments

go to Target

January 21, 2008

I hate Target for having bathing suits out in January. But I love it for the same reason…because bathing suits in January means 75% off wintery clothes.

I bought this outfit for $7.73. And by outfit, I mean shirt and pants. Throw in the cowboy boots from my mother-in-law, and you’re lookin’ at $13.08 for the outfit. Including tax. She got those boots at the beach last summer for $5. I guess those beach bums don’t have much use for cowboy boots. Fools.

I know it isn’t much…but a long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of comfortable fitting cords for less than 8 bucks is hard to beat. I just can’t stay away from a good bargain even if it sometimes means spending money I wouldn’t have spent otherwise. Kind of like my addiction to selling bargains at yard sales.

But I felt inclined to share this with the masses. Six racks of 75% off at Target! But stay away from the bathing suits. It would only encourage them. And discourage you. If you’re like me, anyway.

Filed Under a girl 13 Comments