bye, bye kid. hello man.

Saturday night I had 5 oreos, a bite of chocolate cake and 4 chicken nuggets for dinner. I bought coco puffs for the first time in my life and watched chic movies like 27 Dresses and Christy. I’ve stayed up way too late with Monica, Rachel and Phoebe and spent hours catching up on all those wonderful blogs I love so much.

But it was time to see the man again. When he is gone, I turn into a kid. During the day, I am mom and grown up for the most part. But once the kids go down, I am so kid. By myself without another grown up, I watch stupid things and read sporadically and flit from one meaningless project to another. I clean the kitchen obsessively but forget to take out the trash. I leave on every outdoor light and forget to turn them off in the morning. I sleep with my cell phone and eat too much chocolate. But I already mentioned that.

Needless to say, nine days is too long to go without him. And I couldn’t talk about it here because all the killers who read my blog would have come to get me. Well put your guns away, because He’s back now.

I will miss my girl nights with me and myself, but I will not miss the 47 pounds I won’t be gaining now that he’s returned.

Welcome back real food and reasonable bedtimes. And welcome back to The Man.

We have certainly missed you.

an unlikely voice

The life of my grandfather was one of discontent. An often grumpy man, his days were filled with the sound of his own mumbled complaints muffled only by the mind-numbing applause of The Wheel of Fortune. It seemed there was little that pleased him.

He smoked brown cigarettes, long and thin and drank all his life until he realized he was an alcoholic and decided to quit. He became extremely active in AA and had a few years of sobriety before his body betrayed him, worn down from years of alcohol abuse.

He died in June of 1993. I was 16.

Even in the midst of his cloudy unhappiness, I believe Grandpa enjoyed his grandchildren. Every now and then, Grandpa picked us up from school in his faded yellow car. My sister and I sat on the cracked vinyl, hot in the back seat and made awkward conversation with him, painfully aware of the generations that separated us. Upon arriving at his house, Grandpa would lead us into the kitchen, push the permanent piles of mail and newspapers aside and offer us a snack: two hard cookies, brown on one side, yellow on the other with white cream in the middle. He would then burn the popcorn and season it with Krazy Mixed-Up Salt, served up in plastic bowls.

It seemed to me that he tried hard to make us feel comfortable. I felt guilty for wishing he would just give us a Popsicle or a cupcake. So I ate, compelled to action by an internal sense of compassion and pity that I didn’t understand.

Surprisingly, Grandpa was one person who encouraged me in my writing. Maybe underneath the alcohol and layers of hurt and damaged relationships, he was a writer himself. I don’t know that to be true, but it could have been, I suppose.

For my birthday, he gave me two magazines on creative writing. I still have them somewhere. He also cut an article from the local paper about a girl my age who had won $25 in a writing contest. I assumed he thought I could do something like that. He folded it carefully and sent it in the mail, writing in capital letters: Emily, It’s not what it says, although that’s important. It’s the writing. Grandpa.

I still have that, too.

I don’t know much about the demons that haunted my Grandpa all those years. I don’t know what caused him to make decisions that would bring pain and heartache into the lives of those he was called to protect. The way I see it, he didn’t know Jesus, didn’t cherish his wife, and never learned how to show affection. Had he made different choices, his legacy could have been beautiful and life-giving. But in the midst of his confused priorities, he chose to see me, even if only in part. He noticed me even though noticing people did not come naturally for him. He appreciated my writing and encouraged me to do it often and to do it well.

Is encouragement coming from an unlikely voice in your life? Sometimes its hard to see the good when the bad hurts so much. But it is sweet to realize that the Lord uses all types of people in all kinds of ways to inspire courage within us.

wanna win something?

My friends Melissa and Randy are are launching their business website for Rekoncile Design. Some of you know Randy, but you don’t know it yet. He is the talented craftsman who painted our cabinets black and installed the subway tile in our old kitchen. If you are local and need something handy done, then patient, hardworking, top-notch Randy is the one to call.

In honor of their website launch, Melissa and Randy have decided to celebrate by giving away a monogramed bag. I know, what does an adorable bag have to do with house remodeling? You’ll just have to go to their site to find out.
All you have to do is leave a comment at A Resting Place. I have to warn you, though. I really want to win. I almost didn’t link here because that lowers my chances. So, you know, GAME ON. Also, if you have a sleeping baby nearby, turn off your speakers…because girl just wants to have fun. Loudly.

click to enlarge

This is how I prove to the world that I actually am a member of my own family, as I am always behind the camera and never in front of it. Behold, the self-portrait. See me?

sam, this one’s for you

I know we are all special. I know there can never be another you. But I gotta tell you, if there could be another you, I am totally the girl to figure out who it is. Of the many disorders I have revealed in this space of mine, I’m not sure I’ve shared with you my obsession with discovering your look-a-like.

I met Ellen Page at the conference last weekend. You know, from Juno?

No, of course not really. But I did meet Sam from The Listeners Post. She is Ellen Page’s twin in real life I think. Hil. Arious. She looked really familiar so we played the name game until we figured out the loose connection we have. (She went to college sort of in my town. Sort of.) Then later I realized it was probably the whole you-look-just-like-Ellen-Page thing that caused me to think I knew her.

Sam is so much fun and I was disappointed that I didn’t get a photo of her at SheSpeaks. Actually, I’m kind of lying. I did get a photo of her.
I call this one Stalker With A Great Zoom Lens. I’m definitely climbing up the bff ladder in her book for posting this, I’m sure.

Sam is another one of the surprise gifts I received this weekend. She kept us laughing at the conference which is always a plus for me. More than that, she allowed herself to be moved by God’s hand and she didn’t let fear keep her from being vulnerable at His feet. I like that.

Let’s hear it for Sam! And is there anyone else out there who never sees a unique face because everyone you meet looks like someone you already know?

unpacking treasure #4

I will be posting more about SheSpeaks in the days to come. Some of you have asked for more details on the conference and I would be ever so glad to share them with you. For now, I simply had to reveal another unpacking treasure, as it has been my traveling companion for several weeks now.
Enough with the Glamour Gals and Barbie turkeys, I’ve finally found a treasure that is worth more than sentiment. When we bought our camera last year, it came with 2 lenses. I used the 18-55 lens because it was more practical. Somehow, this 55-200 lens got pushed into the sock drawer. And then disappeared forever.

Or so I thought.

Until Alisa showed up one day with her zoom lens and I saw the photos she took with it and all of a sudden, I couldn’t sleep until I found that lens. Which was bad because I couldn’t find that lens. But then we moved. And everything turns up when you move.

Allow me to demonstrate the wonderful-ness that is the zoom lens. This was the view from my seat at a dance recital.
With treasure #4, I can see faces, fingers and expressions.

Then there’s the wedding. It is always a waste to take photos during wedding ceremonies. First, the lighting is rarely good. Then, there’s all the heads. Not to mention I’m never close enough. This was our view at a wedding recently.
Can you even see the bride and groom? Pull out the zoom lens, and they magically appear.
I watched nearly the entire wedding with one eye squeezed shut, looking through my viewfinder, snapping photos as I went. I felt like a spy. A friendly, invited spy. But still.

I’m so glad I found this treasure lens!

she spoke, she wrote

Well, SheSpeaks is over and I am overwhelmed in many ways. Mostly good ways. It is humbling to realize how much I don’t know about things, but I am also equipped to learn more about that which I am passionate. Namely, writing.

I enjoy writing. Have I mentioned that here before? I sat in workshops about writing, taught by women who have written all their lives, surrounded by women who love words. It was divine. It was exciting, scary and divine.

No one had rocks in their pockets. The women in my peer review group were gracious and helpful. They made some great suggestions as well as encouraged me enough that I’m almost convinced I’m not crazy.

During the main sessions, I had a sweet glimpse of the Father’s heart toward me. He is gracious, patient and kind. He has brought a sense of clarity in the foggy mess that is my mind these days. And He is excited, too.

Finally, this thought: I always think the best gifts are the ones we don’t expect. Especially when they come from God’s hand.
This is Karla, Megan, Jami and me. We knew each other vaguely through our blogs before the conference, which is how we connected once we got there. And oh, how we did connect. As much as I love words, I can’t think of any to describe how thankful I am for them this weekend.

When I signed up for this conference, I didn’t know a single person attending. I didn’t expect to make friends, much less friends who are funny, who watch The Office, who love words as much as I do, who aren’t afraid to cry in public. What a blessing to discover these comment box robot people not only exist, but they are vibrant, emotional, beautiful women with real lives, real kids and real faith. I’m so glad I met you, friends.

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