Money really gets us chatting, doesn’t it?! I had to add a quick addendum post to part 4 of this series. Remember the sitters I interviewed are seniors in high school. They drive themselves to and from my house and can babysit late at night. When one of the sitters saw some of the comments about money, she wanted to add in that before she could drive, $7/hour was big time plenty.

I think we need to factor in the ease of not having to pick them up and take them home as well as the price of gas. And remember, they said $8 was the going rate. I think there may have been some confusion on that as well. I pay mine more than that, for what it’s worth. We have 3 young kids and we don’t go out that much anyway. I think it’s worth a lot and I want them to come back.

Lady Dorothy left a link in the comment section of the previous post for a rate calculator where you can type in your zip code and can get the rate for sitters in your area. For 3 kids in my zip code, evidently I’m to be paying $12.50/hour. I don’t pay that much and I don’t know anyone else who does either. I wonder what they use to calculate.

Oh, and I have to say I totally stole the above photo from The Nester because I’m too lazy to take my own. So thanks for the money shot, sister.

I hope you aren’t too sick of babysitting talk because I have one more installment coming tomorrow. So stay tuned…

I’ve been interviewing some of my babysitters to get the inside information on things they wish parents knew. If you missed the first two parts of this little series, take a look at Monday and Tuesday’s posts. Let’s find out more.

Written instructions are a lifeline. Whenever I write things down for a sitter, I sort of feel like that mom. You know the one. But they tell me they love when we write things down. Even though they nod their head and say okay when you are giving them verbal instructions, it’s possible they won’t remember what you said once you leave. The truth is, often times the kids are competing with you for the sitters’ attention so they tend to be distracted when they first arrive.

Here is their list of helpful things to have on paper:

• What time the kids should eat. If it doesn’t matter, make one up.
• What time they normally begin to get ready for bed. They watch the clock to get this one right. They don’t want to be the sitter who lets the kids stay up too late.
• How many books to read.
• Any rituals that are essential to a smooth night (like if your kid needs to shake your hand five times each and kiss you on both cheeks before they can relax. Not that I know anyone like that…it’s just a random example that I just made up).
• Instructions on how to work the TV/DVD player (if they and the kids are even allowed to watch…write that down, too).
  

But please remember to allow flexibility. Let them know that these are guidelines for them to refer to if it helps them rather than a rigid schedule that would only cause more stress.

Okay. It’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty: Let’s talk about money. This is by far one of the most stressful parts of hiring a new sitter for me. The bottom line is I don’t want to be the cheapskate mom who doesn’t pay the sitter enough. So let’s get this out in the open.

They are never gonna tell us how much to pay them. They actually said “We will NEVER tell you how much to pay us.” I think one of the first things I always want to ask a new sitter is how much they charge. They don’t charge. They just get paid. They are students. We are grown ups. End of story. Inevitably what happens is they say “I’ll take whatever you wanna pay me.” And they always do.

But our interview happened over brownies at about 11:30 at night so they got a little chatty. I found out that $8/hour is the going rate. At least around here. From what I could gather, $10/hour is really good and $7/hour is just okay. The number of kids doesn‘t change the amount of pay they expect, and neither does age. Although they all agreed that sitting for newborns is extremely stressful because “they’re so…new.”

I pay the same when they have just one of mine who is sleeping as I do when they have all three awake. From my perspective, it all eventually evens out. That way when I call them to sit, they always know how much they’re gonna get paid.

The only time they think they may get a little more money is if they are sitting for multiple families at one time, like if an adult small group needs sitters for all of their kids while they meet. That is a lot of work and a lot of kids. Usually all the families pitch in a certain amount for their own children.

Wow. These are getting lengthy! It’s just that these girls had so many great things to say that I don’t want to leave anything out. I’ll finish it up tomorrow. In the meantime, please check out the comments section if you haven’t already. You all have the BEST stories and some great sitter advice as well. Thanks for chatting and I can’t wait to hear what else you have to say.

I’m taking a quick break from the adventures in babysitting to let you all know that I am definitely not on vacation right now. And this is for sure not a photo of my family on the beach this morning. And there is no way that I wrote the previous two posts about babysitting before I left and had them publish automatically. Because, of course, I didn’t leave. Because I’m not on vacation.

That is why I’m posting. Because today is just a regular day, just like any other ‘ole day that I’m not at the beach eating my weight in ice cream and sea food. I haven’t been watching great movies with the man at night or swimming with the kids till my fingers get pruney. So to all you people who want to fork my house or put toilet paper in my trees while we’re on vacation, think again because we’re totally inside.

And we’re watching you.

(More things babysitters wish we knew coming tomorrow).

I realize a lot of this information will not apply to all sitters and situations. The girls I interviewed are rising seniors, can drive, are good students and generally spectacular people. They also are southern girls, so if you are reading this from Minnesota, well I don’t know. Maybe teenagers are different out there.

All that to say, this information isn’t from the sitters who trash your house when you leave or make out with their boyfriends in front of the kids or steal your iPod from your dresser drawer. These are the good girls, the kind of sitters you want to have. So even if all girls don’t think this way, I hope this will give you a good handle on what they could be thinking and maybe help you become the family all the sitters want to sit for.

They don’t like to talk on the phone. This really works out for me, because neither do I. And even though I still feel 18 on the inside, to them I’m a grown-up and it’s awkward. For the past year, I have gotten almost all my sitters scheduled through Facebook. They tell me they like this. A lot. Texting works, too. Any sitter I’ve ever texted gets back to me within minutes, which is about a quarter of the time it took me to actually enter the text. Do they have texting classes? Because I totally need lessons.

If when you read “facebook” and “texting” you decided there was no hope left for you in the world, chin up. If you have to make the call, give them all the information and then say something like Call me back when you know if you’re available. Even if we don’t expect an answer right away, they think we do. And they haven’t been around long enough to know they can say I’ll get back to you. They told me it really helps when parents do this because it gives them time to plan and think about their schedule.

When the sitter arrives, don’t linger. I was shocked at how adamant these girls were about this. In fact, it is worthy of a quote: “It’s awkward. Awk. Ward.” There’s that word again. Basically, they all said when they arrive for a job and the parents are leaving but haven’t left yet, they don’t know if we are still in charge or if we expect them to be in charge. They are basically just as worried about us watching them as we are about them liking us. Go figure.

Do you like to have sitters arrive early on purpose so you can get ready without having fighting children watch you shower or pluck your eyebrows? They said it is much less awkward if there is a simple plan, like a puzzle or game for them to do while you get ready. That way the sitter doesn’t feel like she has to dance a jig to keep the kids happy while you’re still in the house and the kids can have their minds occupied if they are reluctant to let you leave.

If they say they ate before they came, don’t believe them. Even though I did it too when I would babysit, I was still shocked to realize these girls feel guilty about eating our food. If something is traceable, chances are they won’t touch it, like things that come individually wrapped. They eat lots of chips and crackers that come in bags because those foods are all jumbled up and are more anonymous. They would never drink a juice box or touch something that hasn’t been opened, unless the parents said the kids could have them. And even then, it’s risky.

If y’all are anything like me, you would hope that your sitters wouldn’t starve themselves while at your house. But if they aren’t sure it’s okay to eat, they simply won’t. So help a girl out. Put signs on the Breyers that say “Eat me, Sitter!” They will thank you for it.

Believe it or not, there is more. Check back in the next few days to find out who the sitter calls when she has questions. Hint: it ain’t you, sister.

The shock of having twins didn’t completely wear off until about 8 months after they were born. Even sometimes today, I look at them and wonder how we did what we did that first year. Because we had 2 babies at once who were born premature, I was nearly always with them and if we absolutely needed a babysitter, we would get Nana or Grandy or another family member.

Inevitably, the twins began to grow and the idea of a teenager staying with them was no longer so daunting. It was time to enter into the world of The Babysitter. It was more uncomfortable than I thought it would be. Not because I didn’t trust them. After all, my husband is a youth pastor. I have quality, highly experienced, dependable, loving babysitters at my fingertips.

Then why would I sometimes rather stay home than try to find a sitter? I have recently begun to realize that I have this weird guilty sense about asking a high school student to watch my kids, afraid that they won’t say no if they don’t want to just because of who I am. Or that they have tons of fun and wonderful things to be doing, and I’m putting them in the position of having to come to my house and play “me” for an evening. Granted, I pay them. But still, the guilt.

Can anyone say co-dependent? I have total issues.

But I decided to do something about it. Maybe for you these things are a non-issue. You need a sitter, you call a sitter, they sit, you pay, end of story. But I have a relationship with these girls beyond just babysitting. They are in our youth group, so I’m genuinely interested in what they are thinking and in making things as non-awkward as possible.

Instead of speculating, I decided to break the ice, to dig a little deeper, to go straight to the source. So I sat down with 3 high school girls last week and asked them what they wish parents knew about babysitting. Two hours and lots of laughs later, I realized that co-dependent highway is a two-way street.

Stay tuned.