I realize a lot of this information will not apply to all sitters and situations. The girls I interviewed are rising seniors, can drive, are good students and generally spectacular people. They also are southern girls, so if you are reading this from Minnesota, well I don’t know. Maybe teenagers are different out there.
All that to say, this information isn’t from the sitters who trash your house when you leave or make out with their boyfriends in front of the kids or steal your iPod from your dresser drawer. These are the good girls, the kind of sitters you want to have. So even if all girls don’t think this way, I hope this will give you a good handle on what they could be thinking and maybe help you become the family all the sitters want to sit for.
They don’t like to talk on the phone. This really works out for me, because neither do I. And even though I still feel 18 on the inside, to them I’m a grown-up and it’s awkward. For the past year, I have gotten almost all my sitters scheduled through Facebook. They tell me they like this. A lot. Texting works, too. Any sitter I’ve ever texted gets back to me within minutes, which is about a quarter of the time it took me to actually enter the text. Do they have texting classes? Because I totally need lessons.
If when you read “facebook” and “texting” you decided there was no hope left for you in the world, chin up. If you have to make the call, give them all the information and then say something like Call me back when you know if you’re available. Even if we don’t expect an answer right away, they think we do. And they haven’t been around long enough to know they can say I’ll get back to you. They told me it really helps when parents do this because it gives them time to plan and think about their schedule.
When the sitter arrives, don’t linger. I was shocked at how adamant these girls were about this. In fact, it is worthy of a quote: “It’s awkward. Awk. Ward.” There’s that word again. Basically, they all said when they arrive for a job and the parents are leaving but haven’t left yet, they don’t know if we are still in charge or if we expect them to be in charge. They are basically just as worried about us watching them as we are about them liking us. Go figure.
Do you like to have sitters arrive early on purpose so you can get ready without having fighting children watch you shower or pluck your eyebrows? They said it is much less awkward if there is a simple plan, like a puzzle or game for them to do while you get ready. That way the sitter doesn’t feel like she has to dance a jig to keep the kids happy while you’re still in the house and the kids can have their minds occupied if they are reluctant to let you leave.
If they say they ate before they came, don’t believe them. Even though I did it too when I would babysit, I was still shocked to realize these girls feel guilty about eating our food. If something is traceable, chances are they won’t touch it, like things that come individually wrapped. They eat lots of chips and crackers that come in bags because those foods are all jumbled up and are more anonymous. They would never drink a juice box or touch something that hasn’t been opened, unless the parents said the kids could have them. And even then, it’s risky.
If y’all are anything like me, you would hope that your sitters wouldn’t starve themselves while at your house. But if they aren’t sure it’s okay to eat, they simply won’t. So help a girl out. Put signs on the Breyers that say “Eat me, Sitter!” They will thank you for it.
Believe it or not, there is more. Check back in the next few days to find out who the sitter calls when she has questions. Hint: it ain’t you, sister.
Great advice from the experts! I am forwarding this to my teenagers so they know that they are normal.
May I just say that the lingering principle applies well to dropping kids off in the nursery or at school too….
Very insightful! Especially the part about facebook (which I don’t have) and texting.
I have a teenage daughter who babysits and she would totally agree with all of this.
Can’t wait to see what else your girls said.
I babysat a lot as a teenager and its funny, but I felt the same way back then too. Now needing a sitter, this is a big help! Thank you for posting about this and I will be checking back!
Wow, this is all very helpful. I’m guessing the “good girl” Minnesotans are much the same. I’ve only had experience with one non-family sitter, so this is GOLD to me.
Thanks for posting this! I’m so glad to know that not much has changed since I was a sitter. And I’m definitely glad for the reminder about what it was like!
This stuff is gold. GOLD I tell you! Texting a sitter–I like that better too. I bet my 10 year old could do it for me.
Oh, and we had our first boy sitter {our pastors son} a few weeks ago and LOVED him! He was SO not afraid to eat everything–and we told him that he could. I was so happy when I came home and saw all the stuff he had eaten. I knew he ate what he wanted and for some reason that made me so very happy!
Not to mention, he was the best sitter ever–played games with my boys the whole time!
I love this! So true and I totally remember feeling this way as a babysitter. I would hate to make my sitter feel awkward. Thanks for the reminder! I’ll be tuning in.
This is great! We are beyond the age of babysitters, but I can relate both as the mom and the sitter that never had a night free when I was a teenager.
One thing about the food issue. You might try buying snacks especially for the sitter and the kids and tell her that you bought them just for her. That still doesn’t mean she won’t feel guilty eating them, but it might help a tiny bit.
Also, one word of caution. If you have any inkling in your heart of hearts that something isn’t right with a situation, don’t leave your child. I’m talking about beyond the normal nervousness of leaving your child with someone else. When my kids were little my husband invited a girl from church to watch our kids. I felt weird about her even though I was friends with her mom. Turns out she nearly burnt the house down and we came home to find her watching unacceptable movies with a friend. That was the end of that!
The Facebook thing is really interesting – wouldn’t have thought of that except to “check them out.” It’s amazing the two different personalities that could come out on Facebook vs. real life. That advise, in and of itself, is priceless. Love that the Nester used a guy. My boys are awesome babysitters, but I think typically parents would never think of getting a boy because of the presumed lack of “baby” knowledge or “irresponsibility” factor. My boys can change a diaper better than my hubby when we had our first child…hee hee.
Guess things never change…I felt the exact same way when I babysat. It is definitely awkward in those moments between when you arrive and the parents leave.
I’ll have to keep this all in mind once I have kids and the time comes to get a sitter.
Great stuff!!! Thanks for sharing.
Blessings~~
This is such a great post. I can remember having many of these feelings as a teen sitter in my neighborhood growing up. Good to know.
I get everything they said and even agree but I dont like the texting. I do however as of just this week have FACEBOOK….sooooo, I could easily do it that way. Who knew they wont get off the phone with friends but moms are scary..lol
I bet when they have a question they call THEIR MOM…
This is all so true!
I have been babysitting since I was 13 (I’m 26) and have been a full time nanny for 3 years. Although it gets way more comfortable and less awkward after 3 years with a family this is all still true. The most awkward part of everyday is when I get to work at 7am and the kids are up but the parents are like eating breakfast or something. I make the kids bfast but then its like what now? Sit down for a family bfast or keep busy. 
I like the texting too. When I was a teenager we didn’t have texting so I just let the voice mail get it and then call them back. 
Can’t wait until part 3!
Though my kids are too old for sitters now, one question I always struggled with was how much to pay. They would never give me a rate, they would just say, “Whatever you think is best.” And I appreciate that, but I want to be fair.
This is so interesting. No kids yet but I’ll definitely keep this in mind in the future…..distant future.
This is great info! And once you’ve found a sitter that you like, well, treasure that person and treat them well! I would love to know about how much to pay, tip, gifts, how long is too long, etc. Thanks for this great info!!
Good stuff to know!!!!
This is quite a service to all moms and future moms. Thanks, Em. I may have to attempt to print out and save.
Too funny, not much has changed since I was a babysitter, except for maybe the facebook, texting thing. I hated when the parents lingered, totally did not eat their food, and hated talking to them on the phone! Let me guess, the person they call for help, their own mother? At least that is who I called!
Laura:)
wow…this is great. keep it coming!
This is good stuff, for sure. I have a wonderful babysitter now, but she’s about too move too far away to be practical for us to go get her (she doesn’t drive just yet). When she moves I’ll have to find a new one.
I remember feeling the same way about lingering parents, food, etc. We’re usually out the door as soon as we give last minute instructions, and we usually have a pizza ready to throw in the oven or from Domino’s or something. That way she knows it’s for her, too.
I’ve got $50 riding that says they call either their mom or one of their sitter friends. That’s what I did when I was a teenager. I’m totally starting a survey on facebook for my local teenagers
This is awesome info!! Thank you!! I’m scared of Facebook. What about internet anonymity? Could you do a Facebook 101 next?
I called a new high school babysitter one time on her cell phone. She answered, and I asked if she had a minute to talk. She said, “Um, I’m in class right now.” Uh, ok, why did you answer your phone then? What kind of classrooms are these teachers running?
Also, I agree that it’s really difficult for me to think of myself as “one of the girls” when to the girls I’m “one of the moms.”
Thanks again for this great topic!
ooooohh… I want to know how much they want to get paid too! Especially do they feel like they want different rates for the number of kids they are watching, and how does that rate change per child?
(for example, for a 2-3 hour babysitting job with my first daughter I would pay $20, but now that I have another baby, does the rate double?)
So helpful! If you find a place to take texting lessons–let me know. I had a 10 year old trying to teach me how to do it K9 mode–and I couldn’t figure it out!–but I can see how this would be the best way to reach a teenager.
I have sitters that don’t eat either. I’ll usually spring for a $5 Dominoes carry out to feed him/her and all my kids. Worth the bit of extra money to make sure everyone is fed
!
I’m excited to hear more good advicE!!!
Love it! I use Facebook to schedule my sitter too… avoids me having to talk to her mom – which is awkward for me even though I’m a MOM! Why is that??
kelli – http://www.meinplace.com
This is Genius. And things I need to know asap, as our trusted and adored babysitter leaves for Liberty University in just over 2 weeks. Sigh…I can’t bear the thought of it, so thanks for your help with all this.
Emily, I think you should pitch this as an article somewhere. Very good topic, research, perspective…
As for your teaser at the end, when she has questions, I think the sitter calls MOM!!! Am I right? (Or maybe that is just me when I am burning dinner or learning some other newlywed life skill.)
OK, if I wasn’t hooked before, now I’m totally transfixed on your blog… this information is TOO GOOD!!!!! Looking forward to Part Three…
A wealth of knowledge!
As a preschool teacher and a nursery worker, I totally agree with Stephanie about the not lingering thing all the way around.
Yes. Let's talk about $$. What's the going rate per child??
PS> Did you get your bloggy AWARD? Come on over a claim it, girl. You rock!
Well…this explains so much. Who knew?? Not me that is for sure. Thanks for the eye opener!
Oh my gosh, Emily (Yeah, that’s OMG, but I’m old school):
I LOVE this!
even though i’ve never had a sitter…i love this post!
i remember thinking the exact same things as a sitter!
This was great information. It would make a great magazine article. Have you thought about submitting it?
I work with a magazine that doesn’t pay for submissions but is a great way to promote your blog.
If you are interested, let me know.
blessings!
Love your writing:) Totally takes me back to my babysitting days. Have yet to really encounter sitters outside of family yet. I kinda dread it!
an amazing post. keep it coming sister!
This made me laugh. Our sitter is on facebook and I either leave her messages on her “wall” or I text message her on the phone. Who would have thought? I totally related with everything you posted. Ha ha ha.Congrats on making the Saucy Blogroll, this week.
Great tips. However I do have a babysitter that eats everything in site (and she’s about a size two).
I have had to start setting out snacks and then saying that the rest is off limits, however, between her and my kids they seriously would eat us out of the house. But we do LOVE her tons and my kids beg us to go out so she can come over.
Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day!
My babysitter just got her first cell phone for her birthday in May. I totally text her. It only takes about 25 minutes to type out the short message, but it takes her about 12 seconds to reply “sounds good. I’ll ask my mom”. She has myspace, and I’ve stumbled across it a few times, but we’re not facebook friends…and she’s not big on the ‘net.
I have used the same girl for nearly two years now. I pretty much spoil her with birthday presents and Christmas presents. I also try to make sure there’s something good for her to eat, and tell her everytime to please help herself to anything she wants. I honestly don’t know if she east much snack food or not, but she loves my casseroles!
This is a great topic! I would love to hear about $$ too!
I love these insights! Especially the one about texting! That’s great!
Yes, the lingering was akward. I was scared to eat anything, change the tv station, use the bathroom – anything!
I told one family I babysat for that I didn’t mind light house cleaning stuff. What I meant was I could load the dishwasher after the kids went to bed, maybe vacuum, that kind of thing. One day I was watching the kids from 10 in the morning till mid afternoon and she gave me a HUGE stack of laundry she wanted ironed… and I didn’t know how to iron and I was scared to tell her!
So I attempted to iron… I wonder what she thought of my first ironing attempt with no previous traning.
love this post!!
missy
I’m only 24, and was a constant babysitter or nanny for about 10 yrs of my life (wow- that’s a lot)… I remember all that akwardness, yet I still can’t help but feel like the akward mother, only 1 1/2 yrs after I’ve stopped babysitting!
One thing I’ve noticed with my sitters is they don’t like pizza or other quicky junk foods! I’ve tried the pull the pizza out of the oven or have it delivered right when they get there- but they don’t like it- they want something HEALTHY! Can you believe it? Teenage girls want something healthy! I suppose it’s the fad now
… so I’ve tried having a casserole or lasagna or something, and they love that- more work for me- but that way at least I know my kid is eating healthy as well.
I was talking to my babysitter’s mom about some of these points recently. She mentioned that my babysitter loses computer and cell phone privileges if she is in trouble, so I book her through the parents. She’s on the young side, and they want to be sure they will be home when she’s sitting, too. I just wanted to mention this as something to consider before relying totally on the technology.
I really like this series!! Thanks! Keep ‘em comin’…
If you want an even easier way to schedule your sitter, try http://www.ScheduleMySitter.com. All of your regular sitters can be on it like Facebook but you can see their calendars and actually schedule them right there or email/text all of them at the same time to see who will accept first.