(I posted a part 3 follow up on paying the sitter last night if you missed it.)
I didn’t intend to take up an entire week posting about babysitting, but I’m kind of glad I did. I certainly feel so much more comfortable using my sitters after talking with these girls. I hope you do as well. Here are some final snippets of good info they offered.
Hiring a sitter on a school night? Tell them ahead of time if your kids will be going to bed while they are there so they know if they should bring homework or not. The evenings are their homework time but they won’t bring it if they think the kids will be awake.
Sitters plan stuff after sitting. So calling while you are out and asking if you can stay out a few more hours is usually not cool. They will always say yes because you are the grown up. But then they will rearrange or cancel their own plans. We don’t want them to have to do that.
They would rather deal with the mom than the dad. That’s just the way it is. Dads are awkward. That’s what they said.
Having dad’s pick up the sitter and take them home is a bad idea. A man in a car alone with a teenager who can’t drive yet is never a comfortable thing for her. Not to mention the fact that you want your man to avoid any situation where someone could misinterpret his intentions, if you know what I mean. You just never, ever know. So avoid it. Your sitter will thank you.
They call their own mom before they call you. You call out over your shoulder as you leave the house: “Call if you need anything! Anything at all.” They never will. Can’t find the wipes? They’ll use a wet paper towel. Don’t know how to work the TV after the kids have gone to bed? They’ll sit in bored silence until you get home. They would rather improvise than bother you.
From their perspective, bringing you back into the situation you are paying them to handle means they are basically not doing their job. I can’t think of a mom in the world who thinks this way. The rare times sitters have called me, I’ve been thrilled. But in their eyes, they would rather do ANYTHING than call you.
In fact, I asked them to finish this sentence: “I think you’ll never ask me to babysit again if…” Two out of three said “…I have to call you because the baby won’t go down.” I went on to ask them if there was any circumstance under which they would call.
“If someone gets really hurt or stops breathing.” I think they may have been exaggerating a bit on that one.
So instead of risking never being asked to babysit again, they do what is safe and natural for them: they call their mom. They also added it isn’t so much for Mom to tell them what to do, but to reassure them they made the right choice. Basically, that they aren’t failing at their job. Their words, not mine. Wow.
They check on kids while sleeping. They are worried they will stop breathing. They don’t like to be the last one to have seen the kids before they go to bed in case something goes wrong in the night…especially with the babies.
Either I have some exceptional, out of the ordinary sitters, or all women are basically alike. They sound like new mothers: calling their moms, checking on sleeping babies, worried about if they are making the right choices. I say all this to remind us moms of the great opportunity we have using high school students to watch our little ones. Not only are they the coolest people on planet earth to our kids (and to me, let’s be honest). But these girls are just like us…only younger, more stylish and stretch-mark free. I think they need to know that we support and appreciate them.
Thank you all for the awesome commenting that went on this week. And thank you sitters for being real with me and staying the night with me when the man left town and not killing me for posting this photo that you took with my computer while I was sleeping at 3 am.
Speaking of while I was sleeping, has anyone noticed that I have Sandra Bullock as a sitter? I mean really, people…she looks just like her.
Thank you so much for posting this series….and thanks to the girls too! It looks and sounds like you have 3 great sitters.
This has been great.
hey, i have an idea. if you think they’d read it, how about doing a post on what moms like from babysitters. you know…like we’d rather you call us and ask us how to work the tv than sit there all night bored out of your mind
these post have been very enlightening…i’ve loved them. thanks for all your hard work!
This series made me think about how I felt as the teenage sitter way back when. What a great series!
Emily I have just loved this series! I haven’t left the kids with a sitter yet and quite frankly I was dreading the idea! but this has eased my mind and made me think back to when I was a teen babysitting and I felt just like these girls.
Great job Emily!
Love these posts, we have used mainly Grandparents up until now but I remember thinking all of these things when I was the teen babysitter and it was a good reminder for when we do hire someone – and I remember how awkward it was when the dad dropped me off too, just weird!
I love that they check on sleeping babies. I love that you helped us see ourselves in them and them in us. It’s a circle – and one day they will be here and we will be the grandmas. Seriously. Strange.
I always smile on the inside when you’ve written a new post!
THAT’S who she reminded me of!
Back to the post…I totally agree with the wife picking up/dropping off the babysitter instead of the husband. It just prevents any situations that might be misinterpreted. I had a situation when I was a teenager where I had been asked a couple of times to sit for a very wealthy family that paid me very well. I mean, the dad had a Ferrari…no kidding. The first time I sat for them the wife picked me up and dropped me off. The second time the husband did, in the Ferrari, no less. Man, it was fun, and I loved riding in it. But by the time we got back to my house, he had me so creeped out by some of the things he said to me that I never babysat for them again. I don’t even think what he said was overt, it just made me reeeeeealy uncomfortable. No amount of money (or the thrill in riding in a FINE sports car) was worth feeling that way. Having the wife do the shuttling would have prevented all of that, I’m sure.
And even if your husband is a good man who wouldn’t dream of any inappropriate behavior, it just does’t look right for an older man to be alone in the car with a teenager who is not his daughter. Too much can be misconstrued these days!
Sorry that was so long, but I had to put my two cents in.
As I don’t have any kids yet, I wondered why I didn’t just skip over these posts, until I realized that there are actually a lot of similarities (at least as far as these things you mentioned) between a paid babysitter and a paid dogsitter.
When I go out of town for any longer than a couple days, I pay someone come and stay at my house and take care of my dogs. So many things seem the same!
So, im one of the sitters. the sandra bullock look-a-like to be exact. I was kind of nervous this whole week about these post and how moms would respond. I’ve had comments but decided to relay them to emily through facebook as to not reveal my identity as the babysitter but i think its okay now. I will totally vouch for emily saying that everything she has said has been literally exactly what we said. Im so glad that you guys agree with us, and felt the same way when you babysat. So great job emily! i feel very well represented and slightly famous to be mentioned on THE chatting at the sky blog. So I hope it helps to kinda see into our babysitting brains for a little bit.
What an awesome idea to do this post on babysitters. I have found it incredibly helpful!
Missy
What fun you had with them!
Thanks for posting these. It took me back to the days that I was a high school babysitter and everything rang true then as it does now. I kind of forget when I grew up and had kids. Thanks!
FANTASTIC SERIES! I LOVE my sitter and left a new bottle of soda out for with a big old sign — DRINK ME PLEASE
I’d asked her the time before “What do you drink at home?” and bought from there… I was happy to see she’d drank 1/3 of it! I thought that must mean she’s comfy here 
Thanks for asking the questions!
I’m so happy to have found your blog! The babysitter advice is long overdue for me. Having once been a teen sitter myself I thought I would be more knowledgable on the subject… umm, no I’m not. Thank you for taking the time to get the info and forward it to clueless moms like myself!
YAY CHRISTIN FOR COMMENTING! I hope people click on comments and see your sweet little 2 cents in here, girl! You are such a rock star.
this series was awesome! i am so glad i found you. my children are older and no longer need a sitter, but my daughter is getting ready to venture in the world of being a baby sitter. she is just a little younger than the girls who shared the information with you and i think their insite through your blog will be awesome to share with her. she has taken a babysitter certification class (it included first aid and cpr certification), which was my requirement for her safety before she could even think about baby sitting.
thanks again for the great information. i can only hope that my daughter turns out to be the great babysitter that it seems these 3 young ladies are!
"I think you'll never ask me to babysit again if…." was a VERY insightful question!
Loved this little series. I don't have any little ones yet, but I will definitely keep these pointers in mind in the future.
Now I'm curious what other ideas you have up your sleeve for future posts! You're always coming up with thoughtful, interesting & informative topics, you smart and funny girl, you.
I’ve enjoyed this series! Thanks to you and your sitters for all the info.
I love your perspective of this being a chance for us to encourage them. Isn’t it funny how at every age women feel insecure and need reassurance that they’re dong fine?
I’ve enjoyed this – thanks for the work that went into it!!
When I was in high school I was babysitting a 2 year old girl and a 4 year old boy that lived across the street from me. Well the little girl got mad at me, and hid. I could not find her to save my life! I thought she walked outside in the dark! So I called my mom to come over and my mom finally found her under the pillows in her bedroom. What would I have told the parents?? Your story reminds me of always calling my mom!
This is a FAB series! I wish i had read it years ago.
Man, I made $1/kid/hour.
totally was robbed!
Again…huge kudos to you for taking the time to interview these wonderful young women and writing this post. Great information. I was so lucky that my sitter (she is gone to college now-wah!) lived three doors down and her Mom is a NICU nurse – SCORE! I never worried…well not too much anyway. I totally agree about dealing with Mom’s before Dad’s as I had a creepy experience with that when I was a young sitter. It has made me uber aware. Finally, YES you do totally have Sandra B. as a babysitter – you had better make sure Jessie James isn’t hanging out at your house!!lol!
I too think that she looks like Sandra Bullock! LOL! Especially when she is making that face! (Hi Christin!)
This post really makes me remember when I used to babysit. For some reason this one really rang true with how I felt and what I did – right down to checking on sleeping babies and calling my Mom.
Like really, the parents asked me to sit so they could get away from the kids…who knows what they are in the middle of…if their phone ringing would be embarrassing…and I so wanted to be asked again!
Hi. Been reading your blog for a little while and loved this little series on babysitters. I never knew most of this and have read and reread what the girls said. So helpful. Great Job!
Fun stuff….who would have known that the babysitting topic would be so hot! thanks!
the dads are awkwards for sitters, there is just no way around it. My girl agrees with all of this.
Yep. All this sounds about right…especially the calling mom thing. I babysat for an 8 month old that threw up all over her crib one night. Definitely called my mom first and then cleaned up and let the child fall asleep with me on the couch. It probably wasn’t the best course of action but at least there was no more throw-up.
oh girl. that was fun. i lol at least 10 times. thanks for the great posts, and for letting us into their beautiful minds. and btw, river and i got something for the girls today.
um, can your sitter friends move into my area? I would feel GREAT leaving my crew with such mature girls…for real! High five sitters! And thank you for doing this, I’ve NEVER gotten a paid sitter because there was so many unknowns for me!
Amen to the idea that sitters like dealing with the Mom better than dealing with the Dad. I used to babysit for my principal – a really nice, Christian man. But, he would pick me up and drive me home afterwards. It was always a-k-w-a-r-d for me, but I didn’t know how to handle it. He was never inappropriate, but I always wished his wife would do the picking up and dropping off. Great point.
I have been enjoying your series on this.
Brilliant!! This was a great series (and a great posting idea). It made me remember when I was a teenager babysitting. I would always call my mom to make sure I was doing things right.
Okay I am now catching up and these sitter posts were brilliant!
My sitters are very similar to yours. Great girls from our church who I have known and loved for years.
I SO appreciate you sharing these girl’s thoughts – great posts my friend! Very enlightening!
Hi Emily, I have enjoyed visiting with over the last several months, I normally just lurk because I don’t have alot of time, but I love your post. Thanks for sharing as you do.
I wanted to tell you that I nominated you for a award. You can get details at my blog.
http://www.homesimplehome.blogspot.com
Good Luck!
Just a side note– I am a military spouse and live in a tiny town where there are not alot of jobs. The base is located about 20 minutes from town and there are not alot of teens. There are plenty of 22+ age women who are willing to babysit, but they expect to be paid slightly more than the 15 year old down the street. I know plenty of moms who would like an adult babysitter — aren’t 100% comfortable with a teen, but don’t realize you should probably pay the adult a bit more for peace of mind. Just my two cents. Thoughts?
Oh man has this been a helpful string of messages.
I started babysitting at age 12 and thought I would have no problem making our sitters feel welcome in our home and at ease with our kids. Turns out when 25 years go by you forget what it was like.
The whole getting picked up/dropped off by the Dad is TRUE! It is best to guard or husbands hearts as well as make the girls feel safe.
I am definitely going to put notes on the snacks and email/facebook/text our sitters from now on.
How have I not found this blog yet???!!
Holy Katz- this was comforting. Now if only I could be assured that all teenage girls that I know are the same as the teenage girls you know…
It’s like I need to take a valium just to plan a night out. We have hired a babysitter exactly ONCE. The twins are 16 months and my oldest isn’t 3 yet. And we don’t live in the same state as the grandparents anymore.
But this was a good, encouraging post to read. So maybe I can skip the valium and get on with it now. Maybe.
As a former babysitter, I said YES! to every one of these points your babysitters made in this series. The only thing I’d add is related to the “they never call you.” Call them (once) and say “everything going ok?” I would ask questions if the parent called to check in, but never on my own initiative.
Thank you for reminding me of the babysitting experience, now that I’m the adult.
YES! YES! YES! to all of the points made in this series. I am 15 and I love to baby sit, but it can be very awkward- the parts about feeling guilty for eating (don’t want them to come home and find me eating their food), the parents sticking around after bringing the babysitter to their house (Should I talk to the parents? Or play with the kids? Or just hang out til they leave??) , the money (Umm..just pay me what you think is reasonable).
I have a blog, so I might link these posts to it, they are EXACTLY how I feel! I thought I was the only one who felt this way when babysitting.
Oh and I thought of something else-
A lot of times the parents come home and ask “So,were the kids good?”
Luckily I baby sit for well behaved children, otherwise I would not want to tell the parents, “yeah, they just ran around like crazy maniacs all night, threw a few temper tantrums, you know. The usual”.
Also some parents I have babysat for have told me if their kids misbehave, I can give them a spanking.
NO WAY am I going to do that. Your kids will go in the corner. They will get time out. They will go to bed early. But I will NOT spank them!
Thanks for letting me ramble
just caught up on these, thanks to your re-post. my superfabulous babysitter just got married TONIGHT, and we are back to the beginning. it all sounds so true, and I feel well armed as I begin the search for a new sitter. thank you, and thanks to the girls!