The restaurant was only half full but the table was crowded: five adults and four children gathered around two squares pulled together with plates and food and napkins piled high.
The Man and his brother had gone to get the drinks and found us all settled in our seats upon their return. Only two chairs were left, right next to one another, crowded between our four-year-old on one end and me on the other, our not-so-small son heavy on my lap, stealing a pre-dinner nap.
The brothers hesitated, glancing at one another as if to see which one was going to eat at another restaurant, as no one could possibly expect these two over six-feet-tall men to squeeze into this tiny space, much less eat there with all the elbow action and room a man needs to consume food properly.
They needed space. Technically speaking, the space was there. They could have sat next to each other. They could have made it work. But there would have been no room for a dropped fork under the table or simultaneous bites, not to mention conversation.
There would have been no room to breathe.
I need room to breathe, too. I need space in my days and weeks and months to think and mull and ponder. Even as I have cut back on appointments and outings and commitments, I still find myself awake past my bedtime to simply soak in the quiet. My soul needs space. And it doesn’t come easy. It doesn’t come without a price and it doesn’t come on its own.
I have to make it come. Because life is messy and fluid and maddeningly unpredictable.
That is why I have to plan for space. Because when the fork drops, I want the opportunity to take my time, stoop down in my seat, take all the room I need and pick it up proper without harming the people around me or bumping my head on the bottom of the table.
WOW – I so needed to hear that today! Wonderful post! Thanks!
exactly!
Breathing room. Found in a mother’s life between the hours of 10pm-2am or 4am-6am
. We take what we can get, right?
Wishing you all the space to breathe and pick up forks you need.
Thank you so much for your sweet comment today. It’s so nice to know that someone “gets me”
.
I’m with you. I need space to breathe. Things can get ugly when I don’t get it. I just joined the 5 AM club for that reason. My body is a little irritated with me right now, but my spirit is rejoicing.
Wanna join?
http://likeawarmcupofcoffee.blogspot.com/2008/11/list-grows.html
Have I told you I love you lately? In a “so glad we have met, and beginning to share life together” kind of a way…not a weird, blog stalker kind of way?
I am forever bumping elbows when I pick up my forks. And lots of times it’s not just bumping elbows, it’s bumping saute pans that shouldn’t even be around to drop….so I am giving myself room to breathe, by getting up THREE hours earlier than I normally do. Don’t tell my hubby…I don’t know how long I am committing to this, but it’s my second day, and wow…what a difference a day makes. 
Too funny…Kimba and I are both up at the crack of dawn because I am in the same 5 am club and we both just commented…right after we had our quiet time..
This is so timely. I’m also forced to be a night owl because those precious hours after bedtime are my only “breathing” time all day.
It helps to know I’m not the only one who grabs quiet any chance I can get! I’ll think of you in those tired hours before bed tonight and pray for you.
Blessings,
Lisa
I wanted to tell you that when I read your writing, I can feel the spirit about you. That is neat. I can tell you are a very gentle person. I hope that you find your quiet moments. Have a great day!
Such a great post..I laughed about the “fluid” part! I have been waking up early and gather my thoughts…we all need time to think and reflect sometime during the day!
-sandy toes
Bless your heart. What blessings our children are, but sometimes the spirit simply needs time to rest by the brook.
I love your way with words…this analogy speaks loudly and is right on.
ps- so what did The Man do?
I need room to breathe, too. I think that’s why I’ve been up til 1AM the past couple of nights. If the baby takes a catnap in the evenings and is up til 11:30, I have to stay up later to relax.
“Me time” does come with a price these days. And mine also happens after the kids are in bed. Some nights I don’t want to go to sleep because that means “me time” is over for another 24 hours. It makes for some very late nights.
So my price for “me time” is two dark circles.
I love this.
Oh I agree…and I love how you word it Emily! You’ve got a gift my friend!
I’m enjoying some of my space right now! But I truly notice a difference in myself when I don’t sit down in quietness with the Lord.
great post – hoping that we’ll find some space to breathe together sometime soon.
I do the staying awake past my bedtime thing to find space. It is taking a toll though. Maybe I should give 5 am a try.
It doesn’t look good for 5:00am. I was just studying your Spain pics in the previous post. I think I have a picture of me in the same place in Spain. I have to go look…maybe tomorrow.
I know these feelings. I’ve dealt with them in good ways and bad ways. Thankfully I have a husband that knows that sometimes I just need to be by myself.
I’m working on not feeling guilty about it.
Wow, I am hearing this resounding through the bloggy world over and over lately. Maybe we should all call a 2-week hiatus and agree to get back at it mid-December…
But for me, right now, I will MAKE space, too.
“without harming the people around me or bumping my head on the bottom of the table”
Me too.
We are potty training this week…a boy.
Thank you sweet Emily, your words gave me a deep breath and a long sigh.