Shy was the word used to describe me in elementary school. That, and the girl with the freakishly skinny wrists. But then my family moved from the only town I had ever known to a new town several states away. Suddenly, my need for friends and fun outweighed the fear, and my life as a social butterfly began in full force.
That move was a turning point for me. I had lots of friends and I liked it that way. I wanted to be with people and always know what was going on. Still, I craved alone time but often skipped it for fear of missing out. As a result, whenever I took personality tests through high school and college, I was always pegged an extrovert. That is how I saw myself.
Years later, after I had children, I realize the truth: I am an introvert. People who know me in real life are sometimes surprised to hear that. I wouldn’t call myself an extreme introvert, but I think I am returning to my kindergarten roots in a way. I’m no longer shy with people, but my energy is found only after time alone. The pressures of motherhood smoked the introvert right out of me.
Lately I’ve been thinking about parenting and personality. Sometimes it feels like I will explode from the inside if I don’t have the opportunity to just be. Alone. Without the chatter. A girl needs time to do important introverty things like stare out the window, sit for no reason, or write bad first drafts without an agenda.
But having three small children at home does not allow for such luxuries a lot of the time. Instead, I improvise. I find little ways and crazy times to squeeze in the quiet.
How does your personality effect your parenting? What are some things you have discovered to help you maintain the balance between being who you are and being who those little ones need you to be?
I’m definitely an introvert. I need time to myself to recharge. My 3 children are now teenagers, but I distinctly remember how it was when they were young. As soon as my hubby got home from work and we had dinner, I often escaped to the mall. I just had to get away and recharge. I spent so much time at the mall! Now I hardly ever go there! Still, I’m an introvert. My favorite place to be is home. I am a preschool teacher, so I am needed the entire time I am at work. When I get home, I am wiped out. I need time to recharge. I take a nap. Then I’m good for another few hours!
I waited for Cody for a very long time as he’s adopted. By the time he came along, I was 43 and so ready for the big change. I basically slowed down my biz, nearly stopped my life to simply be the mom I dreamed of for so long.
When he started crawling, I gutted the house of all decorating, my passion. I had bare tabletops for years. Back then it was about getting enough sleep for ME, nevermind what my house look liked.
One day, I just woke up. I realized I missed a pretty home and started to put things back. I got a horse at that time of all things and started riding again. I started to gain back some life. I loved being mom but I missed me.
Cody is now 9. I’m a single mom, so on weekends Cody goes to his dad’s. And it’s on those weekends, I kick up the ME monitor and go full force on things I want to do for ME. I window shop at Homesense with a coffee in hand. Or I just stay home and continue with my current renos. I also go camping on the weekends alone as my trailer is parked at a local resort 24/7.
My way of coping are those escapes from reality. But when I’m with Cody during the week, it’s all about him. My workday stops when he comes home from school. We do homework, chores together. We’ve just become this little buddy system and do what we gotta do.
Keeping in mind, it’s not natural to not have a spouse for support, so weekends off parenthood seems to balance that one.
During the week, my time is basically after he’s in bed. I play on the laptop, blog, may watch a fav show on tv or read a book.
Some moms I know allow their older kids to stay up all hours on the weekends. For me, if he’s with me, he goes to bed at a reasonable time. Why? Because I need that quiet for a little while.
My personality tends to be carefree and accomodating, not really anal about too much, but when I’ve hit my limit, I’m done and need my solitude or I get snappy. So I ensure I take care of kiddo biz before that happens so he can enjoy the ‘happy carefree mom.’
Donna
I am a night owl. I have a terrible habit of staying up extremely late every night to enjoy my “me time.” Even if my “me time” involves folding the loads of laundry that I didn’t get to during the day or cleaning the kitchen (again!), I can do it at my own pace and in my own silence. I surf the web, I craft, I write, I read, and finally I hit the bed, exhausted.
BUT – I am renewed in the morning and ready to be super-mommy! Well, ok, “average-but-my-kids-think-I’m-great” mommy. . .
You have touched on the eternal need of mothers from all generations! Balancing our blessings of children and all the talking, questions, messes, needs, and redundancy of day to day…with time to “be”… to recharge…to experience “aloneness” and enjoy it.
I highly recommend play dates, swapping with other moms, and “Daddy Night Out” where once a week dad takes the kids to McDonald’s, the park, grandma’s, or just a drive…just an hour or two weekly where you can depend on that time. (I know dad has to go to work, but he doesn’t have to carry his co-worker on his hip all day!
It will do wonders for your soul…just take the time to arrange it whether it is a swap with a friend, Daddy Night, or paying a sitter for a few hours once a week.
You deserve some time…and your kids, your husband, and relationships will be better for it. May you be blessed today with a few minutes of quiet, a nap, and lots of love!
I know exactly what you mean! People are surprised to find out that I’m an introvert, too. But it’s because they equate being an introvert with being shy. It really has more to do with exactly what you’ve written – getting energy from people or from being alone by yourself. Being around a ton of people can be draining for me, even if I am enjoying it at the time. I’ve started getting up just a bit earlier (so 4:30 instead of 4:45!!!) so that I can have a cup of coffee, eat my breakfast, and read blogs each morning. By myself. With the house dark and quiet. I’m a little more tired as the result, but I’m also a little more at peace.
Frank and I have just been having this conversation. Our trip to the Boro made me sooo aware of my introvertedness. I always knew I was an introvert, but I thought that just meant that I didn’t meet new people well. But it doesn’t. I realized that I find my energy from being alone. I think that I is why I loving going grocery shopping by myself. Being home with the boys and homeschooling…it is exhausting on an introvert. Been looking for some other ideas of how to recharge. Once the boys go to bed…I have no energy to even talk to Frank. Can’t wait to read the comments you get!Need some ideas!
Oh, this sounds familiar. Growing up as a shy only child I relish my time alone – crave it in fact.
Now that I'm homeschooling my children I no longer have all of that time that used to belong to just me & I've been struggling with that a little within the last couple of weeks. I'm working on figuring it all out.
Your story is much like my own. I believed myself to be an extrovert but was truly relieved when I discovered my true nature (INTJ Myers Briggs). And yes, I think my introversion has affected my parenting style. Specifically, I tend to forget to ask other kids over for playdates or initiate gettogethers. Sure, I like having friends and being around people but I find I lack the motivation or energy to seek out others and I can see how this behavior (or lack therof) affects my children.
What helped me significantly was reading _The Introvert Advantage_. I realized that I had fallen into believing the lie that my introversion meant there was something wrong with me. Thankfully, I now know that introversion can be an undervalued asset, but is definitely not a condition or MO to be avoided.
I have two children – the oldest is an introvert like me and his dad while the younger is a true extrovert. The Introvert Advantage helped me to understand that I can nurture my children’s differences and honor their natural inclinations without expecting them to function the same in all situations. I think it has also helped my son to appreciate himself a bit more as he can see that while he may not be just like all his school chums, he is (at least) like his parents. He’s just young enough to still think that’s cool.
I am becoming more of an introvert every day. In highschool I was head cheerleader but I really was an introvert too. I know that doesn’t make sense but I think like you I didn’t want to miss out on anything so even though I often needed my alone time I’d skip it. As a homeschooling mom it’s getting easier for me to hide in my house but now more than ever, my kids need the opposite from me. So, even though I don’t always like to be social, I often step out of my comfort zone because I am their only outlet. They need friends and social activities and the only way they’re getting them is if I quit being so shy. It is a big struggle for me and the more I’ve given into it, the harder it’s gotten. I’m trying. As far as getting my alone time in, well that’s obviously harder now that I homeschool too. One thing is the kids go to bed at seven and they can read in bed until eight. I also get up early.
When my peeps were younger, but to old for a nap, they would each have a stack of library books to look through on their beds quietly every afternoon. I really needed an hour at mid-day for just what your talking about. They adjusted quickly, and looked forward to library day. And when I say stack, I mean STACK! If they finished before the hour was up, they just started from the beginning. Hugs from Maine.http://sophie4me.blogspot.com/
I, too, am an introvert. I’m finding my own time this year by following through on my resolution. My “quiet time” is my workout. And the occasional trip to the grocery store without the kiddos. It’s not much, but I have a baby who’s not quite a year old, so for now it is a requirement that I get my ME time in small doses.
It was too fun to read your reasoning behind the title. When it popped up on my reader, I said, “No way -she is not” but in reading your explanation, we are so much a like by “definition.” My dad still kids me about never wanting to miss something, but I think having children makes even the extroverts resort back into finding the best time to refresh and renew by being contemplative and alone. That’s why I love my late night hours, but honestly, I can head off within my house during the midst of total chaos and enjoy a good book…it’s a gift, I tell you…
Also, try books on cd from the library. That always worked good too. Hugs from Maine http://sophie4me.blogspot.com/
I love how you said it “smoked you out”.
I bet that was even in that bad first draft.
Great explanation of an introvert! I feel the same way only would never be able to explain it like you did.
I’ve been wondering about this very thing. Marriage and motherhood changes a lot. Is it revealing of the truth – or do we actually change?
Oh, yes, I am an introvert, too. Growing up as a moving around Army Brat, the shyness was perceived as being snobby. I only know this because friends I did make told me this. My husband is an extrovert and he does his best but really does not get it! When my children were growing up, it was difficult sometimes because of my introvert nature.
If you’d like to read a good article, I have part of it and the link on a post from last year.
http://ewbpcb.blogspot.com/2008/04/sound-like-anyone-you-know.html
Weekly, MANDATORY, solo grocery shopping/errands on Saturday morning. It’s the only way this introvert mama survives.
I am very much an introvert. Alone time for me is extremely important. I have never needed tons of friends around me to feel like I am special or loved. I also could never get up and stand before anyone and say anything, so shy…but with the birth of my daughter that has all gone out the window. Somehow I can now meet new people and be in bigger groups and settings and feel more comfortable. I still though need my alone time to re-charge.
I am very much an introvert and with 4 children in the house, it is hard to find that time to recharge. I find myself staying up much later than everyone else, to just catch an uninterrupted recorded tv show or read a book, or surf the net. My oldest 3 are now in school and I only have my 17 mos old at home so I find time while he is napping to do what matters to me. My husband has a hard time finding that time for himself as well and many times is up in the middle of the night while we are all snoozing, so he can sort mail, look over things for work or just watch some tv. Thankfully at our age, we both have realized how necesary it is, and make sure that it happens. Neither of us has any time for friends. I guess that is why I have taken to blogging. I don’t do much on my own blog, but I love reading about others. It helps me connect. I also search web boards at a couple of different places and that has helped a lot. On the rare occasion that I am home alone, my all time favorite alone past time is just being in bed all day watching mindless tv.
I soooo identify with this. I consider myself an introvert and with three girls under the age of 6 at home, there are times when I just want to go hide somewhere for a few minutes of peace and quiet!
Missy
I don’t really know what I am lately, introvert or extravert…maybe I’m just a mixture. I don’t get out of the house like I use to because I just don’t want to. I had a car wreck in December (I thought of you when you had yours) and that has really scared me and made me very anxious about driving or riding in a car.
I don’t think I’m really answering the real question right now, sorry my brain isn’t working right now.
I was an extrovert until I left college and then I somehow morphed into an introvert. I have been dealing with this a lot lately. I am happy with who I am but sometimes I wonder what changed? U don’t have children yet so I can’t understand all of your post…
good thoughts- thanks
I really enjoyed your post. For me it was the complete opposite. I was the social butterfly had lots of friends, and then my Dad got a new job and we moved across the state. From then on I was the shy girl, barely had any friends, not that it really bothered me. Looking back now where I work I get along with everyone and have fun, but really don’t have any close friends. I miss all those friends I had when I was little. The great thing about this internet is I have reconnected with most of those people through facebook, and while I don’t get to see them I can send them a message and vice versa. Isn’t it funny how a move can change us?
A beautiful post. When we figure out where we draw our energy from, extrovert vs. introvert, it helps so much to take better care of ourselves. I don’t know what it is about mothering or parenting that runs down my batteries so… but whenever and however I can soak in a little quiet time, I always come back a better mother.
Once again I am wondering if someone snuck inside my brain the then blogged my thoughts. Weird!
Everything you just said is ME. And I’ve only recently realized it. Like in the last year.
I’m learning that I’m also an introvert-turned-extrovert-turned-introvert again. It’s even affected friendships. People who were used to my extroverted, social-butterfly ways are now wondering what’s wrong with me.
Nothing’s wrong. I’m simply returning to my roots.
What’s especially weird is that I JUST posted on an eerily similar topic. Realizing who I am and accepting it, for better or for worse.
Ahhh, freedom.
This is why I love your blog. You’re able to articulate so perfectly what I’m trying to assimilate about myself.
I too was a very shy kindergartener.
I was mixed up for awhile as to whether I was an introvert or an extrovert because I don’t like to miss out on things. Sometimes I was even mixed up on which one I WANTED to be as if I could just decide and be that. Now I continue to try to find balance between me alone time, time with my husband, social time, work time, etc. I know I will go through a whole other adjustment when i have kids someday, Lord willing. Kelly
I think kids are great, but I tend to be an off-the-scale introvert. Sometimes I wonder how my husband puts up with it – I can certainly say that being such an introvert has colored our plans for kids!
It seems to me that having kids and becoming the parent God intends for you to be is a journey of self-discovery as much as anything. Some days I want nothing more than to stay burrowed in my house with my two kids, dog, cat, warm blanket, good book…other days I feel the urge to vault into the world and land on all 4′s like a cat – meowing loudly to say hey! I’m still here! Introvert, extrovert…it’s hard to say. It fluctuates.
For my own personal sanity, I do three things: 1) do not abandon my daily quiet times with the Lord; 2) work out and 3) keep several good books at hand to lose myself in. Those three things, usually in that order, have never failed to keep me grounded, energized and feeling like an intelligent woman.
Love your blog. Look forward to perusing it more thoroughly between house-cleaning sessions!!!
My personality problem which becomes a parenting problem, is that I am all in and then I am all out. I love being in the chaos of the kids, the carpool, the food, the school, the sports, but then it hits me – fast and hard.
I want them to ALL go away – IMMEDIATELY. I suddenly need quiet time all to myself. I am this way no matter how early I wake up. The poor kids should at least get some kind of batter low beep…
I have found that it helps when I slow down during the day, breathe, close my eyes for just a minute. It makes me less like to reach that point of shutdown.
Picture me like a cartoon robot that blows a wire after its head has traveled in circles and now the robot is in pieces with smoke spewing from its head
I have always tested as being a combo of both extrovert and introvert. My husband says I’m moody
I say I’m complex! I try to sneak in time whenever I can…mopping the kitchen floor while the little guy is sleeping or watching TV, taking a few extra minutes in the shower on the weekend, going to the grocery store late at night with my iPod and coupons, or stealing a few mins to put on some eyeshadow to feel pretty, and realizing that I am only ONE person and I can’t do it all. The laundry will always need to be washed and folded, the floors cleaned and vaccumed, and I can’t do it all.
I’m pretty impatient, and I DAILY have to pray for the Lord to give me patience to make it through.
I always want my house, to feel like a home. I want my house to be a place where kids can come and play and not feel like they will get in trouble if they spill some drink. My house growing up was a home….full of love and laughter and openess to become who God wanted you to become. I strive for my house to be like that….a little wild and crazy at times, but always warm!
I loved to perform and enjoyed all social activities (I probably could have used a little shyness in the mix). Now I love to gather my kids around the counter while I’m cooking and work myself into the whole Julia Childs voice while I teach them how to cook. Sometimes we clean while listening to Billy Joel and dance with broom, mop and bucket in hand. I make up a goofy song if one of my kids is mad at me or giving me a silent treatment or a pouting… the frowns never last very long and the tense moment is defused with laughter and love. Just some things that work for me:) Great Post lady!
I am an introvert. I crave alone time to refresh myself. My husband recharges on social activity! It took us awhile to come to the point where we understand and support eachother in this. Currently, Naptime is where I recharge, but if the kids don’t nap at the same time, then I snag a few moments before bed. If I feel myself going crazy, I will put my son in his room to play, and recapture the composure I need.
Blessings!
Megan
Oh! I love this topic. I too long for quiet at times. I have a daughter who talks and talk and talks. She describes to you what she is doing as she is doing it and her thought process behind it etc. My personality has caused me to snap at her on occasion to just be quiet already. However, I am praying for patience and often remind myself that she will be a teenager soon enough and then I won’t be able to pay her enough to explain her thought process to me. So, chatter away my tween!
Something I have discovered to maintain the balance….WINE.
Just kidding. I have a bad habbit of staying up late to have my alone time before I have to get up the next morning and start it all over again. The hubby totally doesn’t get it…
Oh, I had to comment today. This post is what has been on my heart for several weeks. I am struggling to find this balance. I think it is especially hard when you have a nursing baby. The search continues for “space”. I have been making late night runs to Target, that sometimes does the trick! Motherhood “smoked out” lots of things hiding in me!
I love being home and I love time alone. I have three small kids. 5,3and almost 2! BUSY!! My kids go to bed EARLY. They need it and so do I. By 7:30 the house is quiet. On other days they are asleep much earlier. I have friends who say, “My kids would never go to sleep that early, or they would get up too early”. Try it! My kids have been trained and they know when they go in their beds they have to go to sleep. They get up at a normal time too!!! Train your kids to adjust to your lifestyle!
I know, it’s my second comment. But I realized that I never answered your question.
The endless questions from my children, the mandatory conversation, the constant supervision of tasks and play…it all bleeds me dry.
And while I used to crave time with others to have adult conversation, now I simply crave no conversation. Not all the time, but a lot of the time.
Getting groceries. Running errands. Sitting in Starbucks, alone. Reading. Oh, and I love to listen to books on CD when I’m driving alone. It’s bliss. And I stay up too late, just to be alone.
I think this is where blogging comes in. I get to be reflective. I get to connect with others, but on my own terms.
Motherhood has changed me in a myriad of ways, but more than anything I think it’s just brought the real me to the surface…which has been freeing and painful at the same time.
you have such a way with words. i definitely agree that being a mom brings out who we REALLY are! thanks for sharing!
I love this. I so need time alone! I have 2 kids and teach preschool….I don’t get much quiet time. And sometimes, I feel like I’m going to go crazy if I hear another word. Many people don’t understand this. So glad to hear there are some who do!!!
I usually take a “time-out” about 3 or so each day! I need a little time to recharge before I start dinner. The kids know to watch TV, play a video game, ride their bike…whatever. Without the little break I can really feel overwhelmed.
-Kim
I always come out right in the middle between introvert and extrovert on those tests. But I heard someone say that you are an introvert if you are re-charged by time alone. Yep, that’s me! However, I am with people all day between teaching second graders and having four kids!! I think all moms need “me” time to just think!! Whatever or however you can find the time…take it! You will be such a better mommy after some time to yourself!
I'm an introvert too!!! Because my husband is in the ministry (administrator of a Christian school), I find it hard to balance that & NOT being a people-person….my solution (for now) is that I put the kids to bed & my husband to bed (he's not a night owl) – and enjoy my quiet nights alone…….well, me and MY COMPUTER
I am not ROUTINE oriented. I have some routines because they are forced on me. In college, my classes formed my routines. Working, forced my waking and eating routines.
Motherhood…..now I have some routines. But, they are still forming. The basic I’ve become really good at really fast!
1. Naps. For me and kiddo. ESSENTIAL
2. Meals. I am a true believer in eating together, as many meals as possible. So, purely from strength in my convictions….We eat together. I sit down with the kiddo to eat. That is new for me.
Routines I need to implemet: gym time, cleaning routines, etc.
Mother hood sure does “improve us” doesn’t it?!
Oh, I know. I just crave some time just to be. We finally arranged for my husband to drive the kids to school so that I could drive along – 35 minutes – to and from work. My music, my thoughts, my peace – all by myself. It helps to prepare myself for work, and helps me to decompress before I go in the house. Even after all that time, I still need more and I don’t feel like I get enough. Sometimes, I would love to just be in my house, all alone.
I am an introvert, and need time away from everyone, just a little bit, every day. My favourite times are afternoon nap times, and it’s always a bit tough for me when a child drops that nap time. I learned to institute a forced “quiet time” for the non-nappers – play quietly in your room, and stay there for a designated period of time. That way, we’re all much happier.
)
It must be an “emilie” thing because I totally get this! I am actually freaking out about the impending birth of my son because I know WAY too many people will be invading my personal space. As long as the kids are occupied and the house is quiet, I can get that “alone” time without actually being alone… that makes me happy!
What a thought provoking post! You sound a lot like me. I call myself an extroverted introvert.
As outgoing as I am and as much of a natural leader who has no fear of standing in front of large groups of people and enjoys being in a group, I can’t live without that time to sit and stare out the window.
Now that my kids are older, it’s easier to steal away for those alone moments, but even when they were toddlers, I put them in safe places by themselves so that I could have some alone time. I made it a priority to train them to entertain themselves by giving them opportunities to do so, and it has paid off! I also did a lot of sitting and staring out the window during naps when I really should have been cleaning the house or something.
i love how almost every comment became a post itself. a true introvert at work could only bring those fellow introverts out like that! and you’re totally a mixed up introvert-extrovert. like my kids who don’t know if something is a boy or a girl, they’ll say it’s a boygirl. you’re an inextrovert. ok, sorry, it’s late.
As I’m not a mommy yet, but hope to be soon, I don’t have any comments here but look forward to learning what other mommies do!! So excited to follow your blog!!
Oh for sure. I think for me, because it’s just easier to stay at home I’ve become so much more introverted. And, like you, I need some recharge time. My thing is to just go walk around the mall or a store. Alot of times I don’t buy anything, but I’ll tell Paul…”I just need to go and not talk to anyone.” I need some time in my own head. I never used to be like that before kids.
Great post! Have you checked out Lee Ann Lambert’s blog about living as an introvert?
http://www.livingintroverted.com/
I discovered *after* I had my daughter that I was an introvert. I’m an oldest child, and I have always tried to be a leader so that others would do the things that we’re all supposed to do. I think having Piper freed me from living under those expectations I had of myself, and really forced me to take a look at how *I* needed some time and space, because with an ultra-demanding, strong-willed, limit-pushing child, I don’t get any.
The trouble I run into now is finding the balance…
Thanks for sharing – and for your comments on my blog recently!
As an extreme introvert I have noticed that I spent more and more time alone just being. I wonder if that is because my two younger children don’t require as much socializing as my two older children did or the result of spending so much time interacting with my kids. We are planning to homeschool next year, I have think that my children needing socializing will force me to spend more time with others. I have been struggling with forcing myself to seek out time with my friends.
I just found your blog and am enjoying it.
Oh my gosh, this post really hit home for me. I can be so introverted that I offend people sometimes, even though that’s the last thing I would want to do. It’s just that without that downtime, alone, I am no good to be with anyway. I truly enjoy time with family and friends, but it totally exhausts me. I came home from scrapbooking last Saturday and although I had a lovely time feeding my creative side and chatting with wonderful women, I was worn out. I felt as though I had been run over by a truck. A hot bath and an early bedtime helped, but it wasn’t until I got out shopping by myself the next day that I began to feel more normal again and ready to connect with my family.
Wow. This is really good. I often times think about how motherhood has really shown my true colors. Ive been feeling very lonely lately. I love being a momma but I find myself feeling alone. I have a great family and husband and I truly want to enjoy this time because I know I will miss it. Its nice to know we all have things that we struggle with..
(I feel a bit vulnerable now..:) )
Angie, you sure aren’t kidding about motherhood showing your true colors. I thought I was a nice and bubbly person. And then I had kids. Seriously, they bring out the worst and the best in so many ways. But that is good, I suppose. Thanks for being vulnerable. I think every mom EVER can relate to what you said. So true and real and relevant.
I’m not a mother yet, so I can’t speak to mothering as an introvert. But, like you, I think I thought I was an extrovert when I was younger, as well as during my time in college. I love being around people, connecting, sharing life, and was quick to accept most invitations to hang out with friends. I am comfortable in groups of people I don’t know and not afraid to just go up and introduce myself to a stranger.
But, after college, I became ill with a chronic illness. I had to slow down a lot, and I really didn’t mind more time alone at home, reading or scrapbooking or just relaxing. I still needed time connecting with friends, but I enjoyed chunks of time alone as well. I realized that really, my whole life, even as much as I love people, how I’ve recharged is through time alone. And, how you recharge and are energized is really what points to whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. I think marriage also highlighted that difference for me because my hubby is an extreme extrovert. After a full day of a big group of people, I’m ready to come home and relax. He’s wondering who we can get together with that night.
After reading your post, I do wonder how my introvertedness will impact my life as a mom and how I parent my children. I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about that particular question before…
Thank you for this post! I really needed to read this tonight.
I grew up as an only child, and well, now that I have two toddlers I sometimes feel like the noise is going to kill me. I desperately need alone time. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one.
I’m going to link to this post from my blog so that my husband (an extrovert) and several of my extrovert friends can come read it and know that I’m not incredibly weird for sometimes choosing a solo shopping trip or bloggy time over big parties and social gatherings.
I always test halfway between extrovert and introvert. But motherhood helped me figure out how badly I need some quiet moments to myself! I found myself taking realllllyyyy loooonnnng showers when my kids were tiny. And I realized that it was the only time I was alone! But being an introvert helped me establish a calm household. It was important for me to have days we just stayed home and I tried hard to protect naptime as much as possible. My kids are now 18,16, and 13 and two are extroverts and one an introvert! But they’re all thriving! Thanks for this post!
Thank you for sharing – what an encouragement!
I too recently discovered the same thing about myself. I blogged about it here: http://lifefrommylaptop.com/2009/01/02/learning-growing/
I do think it affects my parenting. I long for that alone time. I feel like I”m going to go crazy if I don’t get it, and I too have 3 small children home with me 24/7. As a kid I locked myself in my room for hours, can’t do that with kids.
Hi, I’ve just discovered your blog through your sister’s! I wish I knew the both of you. Believe me we are kindred spirits. My husband and I moved in the last year and I’ve been going through the same transitions. I desperately miss the comfortable feelings of being able to pop over to a friends house anytime you want. It has been difficult and makes me want to live next door to you!
I don’t get anything done around my house these days, what with you and your sister having such neat blogs to read 
God Bless you and yours!
I as well need definite alone time. With only one little boy at the moment though that is a much easier thing for me to do. The Lord has stretched all of us in this season and is showing His mercy and grace in every corner of our lives. I love your blog and will be adding it to my daily read list
Dear Emily: Oh my goodness, why didn’t someone tell me there was this wonderful online world that I was missing out on? I LOVE your new blogsite! (I actually really like your old site too, mostly because it had pics of your family and info about you). So happy you had a great time at the conference – I kept an eye on your family up in the court and they all looked fine, although I sensed they missed you terribly!
I really liked this piece about introverts as I definitely am one. I find that once I’ve worked 8 hours, then spend the rest of the day with my kids, I have little energy left over for friendships and need my time for recharging! Hopefully when the kids – or I – grow up, I can balance that better.
I haven’t read through all the comments, but I’m anxious to, because I am SO surprised to find that I’m not the only one who feels this way! I have been a SAHM for almost 7 years now, and my younger (I have 2 kids) will be going to half-day Kindergarten next year. That will literally be the first time I’ll have a couple uninterrupted hours to myself for SEVEN years. I know many moms go much longer than that, but it sure has seemed like an eternity, especially since I am such an introverted, solitary person by nature. When you talked about exploding from the inside, I completely understood! I feel that way frequently. Only by God’s grace (and I ask for it ALL the time) can I maintain a cheery exterior when all I want to do is run off for a couple hours and daydream for a while. I LOVE being a mother. I would never trade a second of it. I love my husband. I don’t like being away from him for long. But still, I crave, crave, crave an uninterrupted block of time every day. I am convinced this is why I am useless at volunteer opportunities or making new friends. I have dear friends, but I just don’t seek friends out. I feel so tapped at the end of each and every day, like others have said, that I just don’t have a whole lot to give right now to others outside of my family. I know all that will change when my kids are in school all time, and I know we were created to be social creatures, but I also have a feeling that my need for solitude is no accident. I think most of us need it at some level. Me, lately… I’ve been needing it a WHOLE lot!
Thank you for the blessing you are, Emily. I enjoy this blog so, so much!
Um. Yes! I’m an introvert with 2 extrovert kids, 2 and 6 years old… and a little introvert (I think…) 3 month old. It’s so hard to be mom and provide everything they need when I am NOT getting my needs met. It took me 6 years to do this, because I really really love my sleep as well, but now I’m getting up at 5:30am. This is at least 1/2 hour before the kids would ever get up. Except this morning of course they all woke up at 5:40. Sigh. Well, I’m trying at least.