Our first home was a two bedroom condo situated in the midst of widows and retirees. We spent the first years of our marriage there, we brought the twins home from the hospital there, we watched them grow to toddling 18-month-old girls. But it was small and I couldn’t wait to move. I had dreams of a big backyard, a third bedroom and neighbors within at least 20 years of our current life stage.
When the day finally came to move into a house, I was shocked to discover a deep sadness that welled up out of me and wrapped itself around me like an ugly, over-sized coat. As I vacuumed the empty condo one last time, the tears and grief over leaving it overcame me with a vengeance. It was an inappropriate response to such a longed for, anticipated event. What was wrong with me?! It was then that I began to realize how change affects me.
On a smaller scale, I am in that place once again as I settle into my new bloggy space. It is unfamiliar and is taking me some time to get acquainted. I’ve painted the walls and laid down the carpet, but my stuff is still in boxes and I can’t find the scissors. Please bear with me as I find my way around over here.
I’m learning that Inspiration is a tiny, sparkly, fairy. She is delightful and lovely, but you have to catch her first. As it turns out, she is spooked by change. When I find her, you’ll be the first to know.
Hey girl – we understand. Take your time. We’ll be here. Happy fairy hunting.
Yeah, yeah, tell me about it! I just had a couple weeks of this on my blog after everybody visited per your instructions
I had a house like your first house, too… We had our wedding night there, and Piper’s homebirth was there too. So leaving that before our lease was up was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I’m learning not to force the whole blogging/me thing. Just be me as I can, even if it’s recipes or uninspired or pictures here and there or lying on the couch because I don’t have energy for anything else. It is what it is; I am who I am, and God’s not expecting me to be anything but that, because He knows I can’t handle more.
Anyway, this was a nice post.
Good to hear from ya!
I have been in a bit of a post slump myself, and nothing in my world has changed recently. Sigh.
Can we get together this week?
I felt the exact same way when we FINALLY left the tiny townhouse we brought Dacey home to. So excited to finally leave, but those walls held such memories.
It’s hard to make a blogging move, too, even if you had long since outgrown the old place. I tend to agree with Kelly – don’t force things, just let the current carry you along. You’ll find Inspiration peeks out from under the rocks on the banks when you finally agree to stop looking for it.
Still loves ya no matter what your location…great writing.
cute…..your new look is so whimsical…I know she is here somewhere..wink!
-sandy toe
We’ll wait while you catch your little fairy. If she’s anything like Tinkerbell, I’m sure she’ll leave you some pixie dust before she actually takes residence here.
Hugs–M
Hey, I can totally relate. I spent my entire childhood moving about every 2 years. And it always takes about a year for a place to feel like home.
Um, am I the only one seeing the glittery fairy, flittering about? She seems a little shy, but she looks OH.SO.HAPPY. to be here. I think she has sprinkled some magic in between the time you wrote this and when we read it. You have a beautiful way of expressing things, and one we can all relate to. It’s magical, thanks to her….sweet little fairy. Keep the music going, and you’ll feel the comforts of home as you settle in here. It’s going to be a castle when you’ve gotten acclimated!!!
Be inspired!
Suzanne
I understand the feeling you have. It just takes a little time. Your new blog is beautiful and I’m sure it will start to feel cozy soon. Maybe it just needs a ton of comments to warm it up!
We’ve just moved from our first house that we lived in for about 17 years. It was very hard to move on at first.
Take care,
Kim
yeah. i’m with you. and i didn’t even change my blog.
show us some more fabulous pictures of your cute kids and stuff you did in your house. i, for one, have NOT seen enough after pictures of what you fixed in you new abode. impatiently waiting and tapping my foot over here in klondikeville.
It’s OK, honey. Pictures of your shoes always work!!
Well, I for one will still follow along, no matter where you are. Ever since finding your blog several months ago, I love to check in once in a while and read your beautiful writing. You have a special gift…..that I try really hard not to envy!!
Hope that fairy hunting goes well and I look forward to next time…..
oh my…there’s fairy dust everywhere. We all see it, even if it may feel invisible to you. It glows in the dark for all of us from afar.
Went looking for you last night after the dinner, but you snuck out before I could catch you…bummer.
I know what you mean about wanting change and being nervous and a little shaky when it comes. I feel like I am on the verge of change and I am so anxious but, I see also how I will feel when it comes as well.
I love the knew look! You will find your sparkly fairy!
I THINK ITS ALSO THE CHANGE IN SEASON COMING, BUT NOT QUITE HERE YET.
I FEEL IT TOO. AND THAT IS UNUSUAL FOR ME. HANG IN THERE GIRL
HUGS FROM MAINE
http://sophie4me.blogspot.com/
Sounds like our first 2 apartments! Transition and change are so hard. Sometimes the inspiration fairy passes me by – and i’m left to rest and wonder when she will be back…
love the new site. it’s beautiful.
I could just sit a listen {read} your words all day. You have such a way of putting your feelings down on paper and thats why I always leave here with a smile. I too have a hard time with change and I keep toying with the idea of my own domain. Scary!!! I do have a new look coming soon for my blog and that scares me too. I hope everyone will love it as much as I do and feel welcome and enjoy the new clean space. Wish my words just flowed like yours,smile. I stumble and have a hard time getting my point across. I would much rather just sit down with everyone and have a nice chat face to face~
You’ll find the fairy soon, and all will be well.
The good news is that those are some cute shoes!
There’s not an un-fickle muse. I’ve called mine so many names behind her back, but dang it, when she’s in my ear, I love her. Chatty. Chatty. She can’t be far. You must be a good fake – or maybe she’s there and wearing different clothes. You may just not recognize her.
Oh. Did you see Blissful Style today? It makes me giggle. Miss you.
I love, love, love your new design. It alone is worth the visit–not that I’m not looking forward to your next post. You never disappoint; I am always encouraged, entertained, enlightened, (you pick) by your posts!
I wish we would have followed your example and stayed in our tiny but adorable apartment until our 1st child was 18 months. Instead, I insisted on a bigger place (well actually all I wanted was a place with a washer and dryer, but those tend to be bigger than the place we were renting) and boy did we pay…
I wish I was more like you – I tend to jump in with both feet and then when I am over my head I think about asking the all-important questions…
Take all the time you need! You will find your fairy and scissors and best of all, peace about taking your time! Love you new place!!!!!
Love the new place! It’ll start feeling like home in no time!
oh, i so understand. that is how i feel with this HUGE project looming over my head … love you!
So true, Amber. Perhaps there is no muse at all. Deep.
That picture you just painted I understand so much. I am also so in love with your blog design still!
Steph
Dear Laura,
You have been tagged.
Love, Kelly.
Dear EMILY,
You have been tagged.
Love, Kelly.
(Sorry, I meant this one, not the last one!)