As we sat at lunch, I noticed that my girls were the oldest ones in the playplace. Their fruit and nuggets sat untouched as they watched with me, the unruly three-year-olds running wild on red and blue plastic and climbing on foam-wrapped columns. They were short, all of them. Why are all these kids so short?
Behind me, two moms (my age, right?) were talking about diapers and potty training and two- year-old stuff while their younger kids sat in booster seats and dropped fries on the floor.
And then there were my twins, sitting quietly, eating neatly, lost in their grown-up girl thoughts.
My days of meeting other moms at Chick-fil-a in the middle of the day with all our kids? Those days are numbered. Kindergarten looms heavy on the other side of summer. And my mother’s heart rises and falls with pride and fear and wondering.
I have one toddler left. I examine his hands on a daily basis. Are those little toddler dimples still intact? Today, they are there. Close your eyes. Hold on tight. Breathe. And be thankful.
OH MY goodness…it’s 12:37am and I am ready for bed. Did you have to make me into a mommy basket case? xoxo
Such precious words, and so true.
I was eating those nuggets with my babies just a few minutes ago and now one of those babies is driving…ahhhh! And he’s not so short – at all!
You know you now have me crying rivers, right? Okay, maybe not rivers, but at least a small stream! Some days I wish I could turn back the clock and spend time with my toddler. Most of those days happen when I’ve had it up to “here” with my 9-year old “tween” boy. Where did time go?
i know! every day i take a few moments to savor my sweet baby’s hand pressing against my chest, her long toes digging into my tummy and her sweet toothless mouth. it flies. it just flies.
Oh, how I feel you on this post. Indy will be 7 in July. Where did the time go? I swear we just brought him home from the hospital. He was a baby yesterday. Today he’s learning to read. Yesterday he held onto me in the playground, scared to go down the slide. Today he’s running off to play on his own.
Enjoy your pre-K moments with your girls and kiss those toddler dimples on your baby’s hands. They’ll be gone in the blink of an eye.
Oh, Emily. I went to bed with tears in my eyes last night because it occurred to me, completely out of the blue, that in a few short months, my younger will be in Kindergarten. No more all-day fingerpainting, Play-Doh mashing sessions. No more dumping bowls of macaroni and cheese on their heads. No more running around my bedroom putting wicker trash cans over them and playing “robot”.
I was careful to document and take lots of pics of silly days like that, because I knew they wouldn’t be forever. And I distinctly remember wishing they were older and not such little mess makers. And now, I’d give anything to have those carefree days back, and to cuddle on the couch and watch PBS with them all morning.
That is probably the hardest part of being a mommy — letting go a little bit more each day. I can barely type it without crying. Seems like a bunch of us mommies are experiencing it. It sure is bittersweet, isn’t it?
Well, since I certainly know I probably didn’t say anything to make you feel better (((blush))) please know I’m sending a warm hug across the miles. We mamas are in this together!
i remember being stuck in a tube up high, being 7 months pregnant, rescuing my first born b/c at 2, he was afraid to cross through the net tunnel. (and who could blame him? it really IS scary up there!) he’s now six foot tall, 14 yo, and his brother is 13. their dimples have bowed out to hairy legs, muscular bodies, and deeper voices. the moments pass in a flash. committ them to memory. and take pictures. lotsa pictures. like the ones of his dimples.
“And my mother’s heart rises and falls with pride and fear and wondering.” I am so there right now. My oldest starts K in the fall, and my youngest is two going on twelve. We must treasure these fleeting hours while little feet still pitter patter down the halls. (Even when those little feet get themselves out of bed at 5 a.m. and don’t stop pitter pattering all day).
I’m still holding tight to you.
This is why I love your blog. It reminds me to take out time of my busy day to just BE the mommy. To commit each dimple to memory and photography. By the way, I’d love to have any tips you can give on taking close up shots like that and not having them come out blurry and just funky. What a beautiful little hand. Oh, and you’re right about the changing wordlessly & unnoticed. My 7 year old has done that on me several times now & I don’t see it stopping any time soon…
I’m always trying to soak in all the details and etch them in my memory. Mine are so much older now, and one will be learning to drive before I know it. I think we’ll always be proud of their growth and new ways no matter what age they are. I know, I wish I could stop the clock on a regular basis! But, aren’t we trying to grow them in to wonderful adults…at least that’s what I tell myself.
Your dad’s comment was so sweet! See, he still thinks your amazing!
~Kim
Thanks for this post! My oldest will start Kindergarten in the Fall and boy how the time flies by.
I need to remember to enjoy them while they are at home with me…thanks..
Beth
This is beautiful. We are celebrating our 7 week old daughter everyday and trying to savor every moment, knowing that they go by so quickly. Everyone that meets her says, “it goes by so fast.”
Sigh. Thank you. I am about to go on vacation with my three-year-old and one-year-old (along w/my husband and my mom). It will *not* be a vacation for me. But this is a great reminder that that’s not what this is about.
My son’s hands are my favorite part of his sweet little body! He’s 3, and I’m beginning to see him changing from baby to boy.
Well while most people are probably crying in agreement, I am tearing up thinking about how rarely I look at it like this–Honestly I’ve started praying for the patience to see these years for what they are–precious and few–instead of constant and wearing me out! My kids are still small and there’s another one coming by the end of the month so it seems never-ending. So thank you for the nudge to sit back and be thankful that I have this time with them. I needed that
You made me all welly. Just precious.
Goodness Emily, I haven’t even finished my coffee and I’m already tearing up!! My days are numbered too. It’s a fine balancing act trying to hold on and let go at the same time. I don’t enjoy it, from a mother’s heart, but I know it’s part of life. Thanks for this. It’s good to be reminded to live in the moment
My youngest is 3 and I realized the other day that she will NOT sit in the stroller anymore. I don’t need a stroller. :-0 I’ve been pushing a stroller for 11 years – I don’t know what to do with my hands now. (Or my stuff! I used to put all my stuff in there! Now I have to carry it!)
Now I need to go take a picture of her hands, like yours, because I think she still has dimples, but I’m not sure.
Sweet sweet words…mine are 10 & 8 now and it makes me long for those carefree days when the only plan was where were we going to meet up for lunch! I have often waved at my friends who are still eating lunch with their toddlers as I go through the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A…so sad
But…it also makes me realize that I need to cherish the stage we are in now…it’s different but I don’t want to miss anything!
You know you want to home school!!
Emily you are feeling the same way I am! My last baby just turned three and she’s already looking like a little girl. Thank God for pictures so we can remember these sweet moments forever.
Thank you for the reminder! You have touched my heart brought it pause today. Blessings to you!
Yea, it’s bittersweet isn’t it. My oldest will be off to first grade in the fall, our middle will start Pre-K (man am I getting teary about it) and our youngest will still be home with me (thank goodness).
I love the dimpled hand pic.! Sweet.
Hi Emily! I just found your blog recently and really enjoy your posts.
You are so right to savor these days with your young ones! My husband and I thought we would be childless forever, but after nearly 17 years of marriage, the Lord blessed us with a beautiful baby girl, by adoption. We brought her home from the hospital when she was just 36 hours old. I homeschooled her from day one and am so grateful for having had all that time with her.
My daughter is now almost 19 years old, a beautiful young woman. I am battling stage IV metastatic breast cancer and, believe me, you don’t know how precious the days become when the doctors tell you there might not be as many of them as you had imagined! I love every moment with my daughter, and my husband and I still thank God for her every day of our lives. Savor it all!
It just gets sweeter and better as they grow. You will grow with excitement as you see all the wonderful things they experience through the years and who they become. While pictures and memories of my babies in the toddeler years tug at my heart, each new year brings so much happiness.
This “it goes so fast” thing is hard, isn’t it?
Maybe you’ll luck out and your toddler will never grow out of those dimples. I never did, and my mother STILL thinks it’s funny to talk about my “Baby Knuckles.” Argh.
It does go fast and I had the same thought the other day when I saw a playgroup out at the park. That season of my life is over now and I’m happy, but kinda sad all at the same time.
BIG, BIG, BIG, MOTHERS SIGH…
Sigh. It was their feet I couldn’t get enough of. I loved to kiss baby feet and let their sweet toes curl around my lip. Is that weird? Well, no matter. Those days are long gone.
You sweet young moms are blessing me today!
My baby girl is getting married in two months.
My baby boy is a college freshman.
It went so fast!
Very sweet post… my youngest is in kindergarten, my oldest boy in middle school. I miss my babies! I miss watching my children discover the world. Thanks for the reminder to notice the little things each day. I am so blessed to be a mommy. Blessings!
Oh my goodness! I soooo relate to this post! I remember when my children lost the softness off of their knees when they started crawling. I inspected them daily so as to make sure the softness was still there and then felt a twinge of sadness on the days I noticed it disappearing! It’s bittersweet, those moments, but we they’re always in our memories. being a mom is soooo…well…. AWESOME! Beautiful pics! I have a bunch of my kids’ hands, too! heheee
oh emily…. this just made my heart tingle with the memories of my little ones… that aren’t little at all any more. it certainly reminds us to love each and every day…
My daughter is 8 years younger than my son. As we prepare to send my baby into his “double digit” years, I constantly have to remind myself that time is so very short. It seems like he was 19 months old just yesterday. I am too scared to close my eyes. I only have 8 very short years left with him. I know how very fast the years go, so I try to take every tiny thing in with my daughter, but she is bent on fast-forwarding through her toddler years.
Why can’t they just stay little?
We’re also staring in the face of kindergarten. (Except, I have to admit, Drew would have been climbing and screaming with the rest of the rowdy crowd.) Thankfully, I’ve also got another two sets of pudgy toddler hands. But I still need to start checking them every day!!
so well said… the moments are numbered you’re right!
So there really comes a day when they sit quietly and eat neatly? You have given me hope.
I remember the days with Kindergarden looming. And now, with the end of Kindergarden looming, I’m feeling a lot of the same feelings. Time goes by way too quickly. As a friend of mine recently wrote, the hours are long, but the days are short. Way too short. But, I am oh so thankful for the days we have.
Great post Emily – you have such a great way with words.
Oh my, my, my. I am just a summer away from MY baby starting Kindergarten….my last baby at home. I have to be honest and say some days, I can’t wait;) But many other days, a since of loneliness comes over me at the thought of it. And I would do anything to have that precious boy still small enough to be resting on my chest, breathing as I breath while we both drift off into a sweet nap….with his legs drawn up and his bumper in the air. Or to have his hand automatically in mine instead of having to ask for it.
LOL
How will I make it through the morning without his loud (but precious) voice saying “I love you Mom..” 30 times before lunch? I am sure it will be sad and sweet as many moments on our journey together have been. But for now, we have a few more months, just he and I…(until his big brother and sister get home from school…and summer starts of course) And Lord willing, I will make the most of each day…letting him know how much I love him, how much Jesus loves him, how proud I am of him, and how important it is to watch him temper and to speak only kind words to others!!!
I really appreciate you, Em, reminding me ………
Coming to terms with the Kindergarten leap myself this fall. I find myself carrying my 5 year old around a lot—just because I still can.
Hold on indeed. Glad I’m not alone.
perfectly said, my friend. ash ran in while i was reading this and jumped on my lap. then, as i came to the end, i said, “let me see your hands!” of course, he found it to be a game immediately, and snatched them away. i kept saying, “come on, let me see your hands.” but still no. i’m dying!!! i know they’re there, but it really scares me to think of the day when they’re not. wonderful post.
That was so beautifully written; it captured the sentiment perfectly! And the photograph was something every mother could get lost in….
Oh, if I could tell you how many times I have thought those exact same things recently. My 5 year old will go to kindergarten in the fall and my baby is almost 3 now. I wish time wouldn’t go by so fast. I’m afraid to close my eyes for fear that when I open them, I’ll be sitting at their highschool graduation.
enjoying the moment is perhaps one of the best gifts you can give yourself as a mommy.
my twin girls are 9, by the way, and though they don’t play at the playgrounds anymore, I am surprised nearly daily at how much I love them at this age. Older kids is not half as scary as one might think.
lovely photo… beautiful post… it’s all about perspective, isn’t it?
You just captured exactly what I am feeling. I too have a 5 year old on the brink of kindergarten and a toddler at home. Thank you for writing it so eloquently.
Oh, my goodness. You have a way with words and it brought tears to my eyes today. I’m getting ready to send my daughter to preschool and it’s been making me so nostalgic and emotional these days! I can hardly fathom not being with her every waking moment. Where does the time go?
My baby turned 3 yesterday. I know the Fall will be hard when she starts a 2 day a week CO-OP preschool. But, I know it will do her some good to get away and play with other kids.
The time passes by all too quickly. My oldest is in kindergarten. It is tough her being at school all day.
Aw, this is such a sweet post. I’m going to go look at my little girls’ hands right now, and not wish this day away . . . thanks for the reminder. It is so precious.
Oh. My mommy heart just swelled with emotion.
And I must take pictures of their hands!
Oh! Stop it! Stop it! All of you! You and Big Mama are on this kick today and I soooo don’t want to go there! ; ) I want to be ready to potty train this last little person but you’re all going to make me miss even stinky diapers. *sniff sniff* I guess I will miss his sweet little self on the changing table playing with “Ooo Oooo and Roar” his dinosaurs. *Oh! Boo Hoo Hoo* (there I go again)