When my kids look through albums from when they were babies they always ask the same question: “Mommy? Were we all alone without any grown ups?” Then, they turn the page and sigh with relief. “Ohhh…good. There’s Daddy.”
True story. I’ve told them many times how Mommy was taking the picture so of course they weren’t alone. But it begs the question: Should I take more photos with me in them? Are my kids going to be telling their counselors 15 years from now that their mommy left them alone to fend for themselves when they were babies? And they have THE PICTURES TO PROVE IT?
Karen @ 6 by His Design has turned the camera on herself and I think its a fabulous idea. She says:
I guess in the internal solitude of myself I focus on me a lot. But by day and by camera angle, most of my attention is elsewhere for most of my life. And that’s OK. I love being a mom. But in the midst of being Mom, there ceases to be photos of me. Because I’m always the one taking the pictures.
She had a delightful little photo session with herself that is worth the read and inspiration. I think I’m gonna follow her lead on that one.
If you aren’t quite as savvy with your camera’s self-timer and happen to be within 120 miles of local, cute and talented Alexa @ Alexa’s Photography is hosting a last minute giveaway on her blog for a free mothers day session. But you have to hurry because it ends tomorrow. My “kids” are totally going to enter me. Yours can enter you, too. But I hope I win.
Whether you win the giveaway, schedule a portrait session or turn the camera on yourself, I urge you to begin to gather evidence of your existence in your kids day-to-day. It will save your children tons in counseling bills.
LOL! Ds wonders where I am in all the photos too. Dh was in Iraq for most of his 1st year, so there are very few photos of ds and I together because I was taking them to send to dh. I try now to make sure to give dh the camera at least once when we’re doing something together to make sure he has some sort of photographic evidence that he had a mother growing up. Great post. Wish I were within 120 miles, but for your poor kids sake, I hope you win. I don’t want them to have to seek counseling because they think they were alone as children.
I was always the picture taker, still am. There are eleventy skillion shots of my kids growing up…and, as adults, they articulate their thanks, time and again, for so many memories captured. Their therapy is for all the other stuff their father and I did or didn’t do.
For years, because of a weight problem, I’ve hidden from the camera. And now, there aren’t a lot of pictures of me and my daughter. Recently, I had a little story about her published in a local women’s publication and it required a portrait be done by a really good photographer here in town. For a milisecond, I thought about just forgetting the whole thing. But this was important to me, so I did it. I didn’t and we now have a beautiful picture of the two of us. I realized that it isn’t really how beautiful you look in the pictures of life that matters. What matters is that you are in the pictures of life. So I haven’t been hiding so much since then.
YOU KNOW, IVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH MY 13YR OLD. LIKE MOST WOMEN, I DON’T LIKE MY SIZE, AND HATE BEING IN PICTURES. I TAKE PICTURES OF MY FEET, EYES, ETC… SOMETHING FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT.
HUGS FROM MAINE
OH..this is so very true..I can count on my fingers how many pictures I am in!
sandy toe
This is so true, I have no pics of me at home. I’ve always wanted to do a photo session- it just always felt a little ‘self indulgent’ but then; what’s wrong with a little of that once in a while? Love your blog BTW!
Love the picture and the beautiful words.
I’m right there with you. My kids aren’t old enough to ask about it yet, but I’m sure they’ll notice one day. Every once in a while, I pass the camera to my husband to take one of me with them, but it’s usually disastrous. He likes to intentionally chop off heads, aim places that others don’t really need to focus on, etc. I like to think our once-a-year family portrait makes up for it, but it probably doesn’t.
you are so true! i’m in hardly any of the photos! i should save my kid’s from counseling. thx.
Cute story and mine used to ask the same questions. I think it’s a great opportunity to remind them that of course you were there and the evidence is the photo! Just like God in our lives. Sometimes we can’t “see” him, but if we really think about it, we can find the “evidence” that he is there behind the camera.
Jackie
So true! We have so many pictures of vacations and events where I have to tell people, “I was there. Really, I was.”
Emily I love your picture! I too pondered this thought recently and did a mini-self-session, hehe! If you’re interested you can view it here:
http://thecreativemama.com/a-challenge/
I think it is so important as mothers to turn the cameras on ourselves OR to simply ask another to take some of us with our children. I know I’m always behind my lens – so for Mother’s Day this year I’ve asked a photographer friend to capture me with my boys. I think it will be a Mother’s Day I’ll not soon forget
Thanks for the reminder!
My children were without my husband and me for the early part of their lives so the few photos we have of them from that time are truly “without” us. My son started asking at a young age “why” we weren’t there taking care of him and “who” the person was behind the camera.
I don’t at all like having photos taken of myself because I am so critical but I try so hard to be in photos with them to ease these fears and questions. I have noticed that my two older children love self-portraits of us the most- so my pores, teeth that need to be bleached, and eyebrows in desperate need of plucking are plainly evident. However when I see them kissing the photos I remind myself to take more.
I love, love, love this blog. So many reminders.
Thank you.
My husband is the photographer at our house. Sometimes it seems a little overboard, but I’m grateful for his enthusiasm. I have to make an effort to include him in photos, (and he reminds me frequently) so that my kids have proof that he’s been around thier whole childhood.
It sounds like this is a common thing with moms… I too am the picture taker and absent in most photos. We have even fewer with all of us together and I know those are going to be the ones I miss…
I’ll tell you when you’ll really regret not having some self-approved pictures of mom, when you get over 50 and start wondering what photo might accompany your obituary. I’m just sayin’……
Get your glamour shots done now, girls!
I was diagnosed with breast cancer a little over four years ago, when my daughter was 14½. I fought it for well over a year and had nearly three years of remission, but it came back with a vengeance at the end of last year and I am now stage IV. Suddenly I’m realizing that my daughter will have very few pictures of the two of us together and even fewer of all three of us. My husband and I came late to parenthood, adopting our daughter when we were in our mid-30s and had been married nearly 17 years. Now that precious newborn baby girl is turning 19 in less than a month and I am very sick & going through chemo again. How I wish we’d taken lots & lots of photos of all of us, at all stages of her life! Don’t let the years go by, thinking you’ll wait until you lose a few pounds or get less busy. Let someone else hold the camera sometimes and get in the shots with your kids and spouse. It’s definitely worth it!
Hi there Emily!
I haven’t been by in awhile and it was good to catch up on “Chatting!” This post sure is close to my heart. You are so wise to capture yourself in those moments with the kids, and pics of you doing things you love!
This past week I started the difficult and emotional task of cleaning out my parents home since they are both gone now. They died way too young, and as I was going through photos, I just found myself lingering and treasuring the pics of them as I remember them…picking boysenberries in the backyard, my dad in his police uniform, my mom all smiles on Mother’s Day.
One day, when we are gone, our children will be trying to capture our memory, and remember every nuance of our smile, the wrinkles around our eyes when we laugh, etc…you are so smart to treasure that now and document it…your legacy will live on!
Enjoy your beautiful children today!
With love from Colorado,
Denise
Wow, Emily!
I came by for my daily visit and have to say I am thrilled and humbled at the same time! Thank you for the the kind, kind words – in your comment AND in your post!
Many Blessings,
Karin
i noticed last year that i took thousands (literally) more pictures of everyone else and there was close to about ten photos of me, none of which were good AT ALL! i started doing a 101 in 1001 and one of my goals is to have at least one picture of me taken a month by the fiance. this encourages him to use the camera and be comfortable with it so that when i am not around i can ensure he is documenting well, it allows him to get creative in his own photographic way and it documents that i’m still alive.
maybe you could try it out!!
Emily,
Thank you for the mention! You have such a way with words that I wish would rub off on me! I got the cutest e-mail from your husband and kids entering you and can’t wait til tomorrow to see who the winner will be!
I so appreciated this post. In fact, a couple months ago I wrote a post called “Where’s Mom?” which touched on the same subject. Loretta really drove the point home, though. How touching. I will be praying for her! And thank you for leading us to Karin’s blog. I kind of got lost there earlier today. I read this post yesterday (yours) and meant to comment then, but ran out time. It was cute to hear your dad share the story on the radio this morning! Thanks for all your wonderful encouragment. Blessings!
ohttp://artfullyarrangeddisarray.blogspot.com/2009/03/wheres-mom.html
This is so true! I was just taking out pictures of my mom with us kids for mother’s day and she wasn’t in any of them. There were plenty of the kids and dad…but no mom! I agree that it is important to include yourself in the pictures as well. your kids will have the visual proof of memories they shared with you when they were young.
Thank you so much for this reminder. This is one of my most significant goals: to focus on taking more FAMILY pictures. For me, that spans a few families. My parents and my sibs and I together. My husband and I together. My (eventual) baby and my husband and I together. My aunts and uncles together with my cousins. My nieces and nephews together with their parents. My (eventual) children with their grandparents. And cousins. Generations of family together all at once.
I hope I remember to focus on this throughout my life, so that when I am gone, my children will always have family in pictures if not in body.
I fear my kids will ask the same question when they grow up!! I recently bought a little remote control thingy for my Nikon SLR which means I can get more photos of myself with the kid during the day
So true – mom’s need to be in front of the camera more. LOVE this shot of you, Emily!