The weight of motherhood is nearly always noticeable on my shoulders. It can be heavy or light, depending on how I choose to carry the load.
I searched the house for lovey at bedtime, mumbling under my breath how I wished she would just leave the lovey on her bed in the mornings and then we wouldn’t have this problem at night grumble-sigh-huff-puff. Heavy load. It was very attractive, my muttering and stomping around the house at half-past bedtime. In a lucky combination of one-part mommy intuition and two-parts desperation, I decided to peek inside this Dora backpack.
In that moment, my motherhood weight shifted to a different kind of heavy. The frantic searching under sofa cushions and in toy baskets came to a halt and the frustrated hurry seeped out of me in one long sigh. Because in that bag was more than just a Barbie laptop and a most valuable posession. In that bag was proof that she is watching me. A fuzzy image left over from the morning came to mind, of me packing my laptop into my bag and heading off to do some work.
She wants to be like me and that is a different kind of heavy load, one filled with purpose and importance. One that I cannot bear alone. I’m thankful I don’t have to.
44 comments
I am so glad that we have God because that is an awesome and scary responsibility. I caught my three-year-old the other day lecturing her little brother. She grabbed his chin and said, “Look at me when I’m talking to you!” Just like mom. Makes you wish they would just pick up on the good stuff, huh?
thanks for the reminder today. – Jeanette
Thank you Emily for reminding us that not only do they watch us, but also that there is a greater purpose in these often times long days of mother hood.
God bless
Happy weekend!
I always tell my husband the girls are always watching and listening even when we don’t think they are.
Although there are hard times….I love being a Mommy. It is the best job ever.
That is just awesome, I wish I had a little girl!
Thanks so much for this reminder. I needed it today.
STOP MAKING ME CRY!!!!!!!!
I have seen this lived out in our house as well. My daughter has walked through the living room to the door, talking on her cell phone, carrying her purse, baby (in a carrier) and a big ol bag of whatnots that I assume was her baby’s diaper bag. She also will crawl up next to me with her phone (or her dad’s when she can steal it) and lay next to me and “text”. The one thing that gives me hope that I am not doing it all wrong is that she loves to run up to us and say “hold you” and that she loves to give squeezy hugs and pats us gently with her little sweet hands.
I love this – thanks for the reminder.
oh how i love this post! in so many ways! who can’t relate to huffing and puffing at the last-ditch moment before bedtime?
and yet … yes, we are so blessed to know that He carries every load.
thank you for this sweet reminder …
I loved this post. Thanks for sharing this insight–it hits home for me. To be the example to the little eyes that watch and soak it in, and often mimic…it’s weighty indeed. Thank goodness we know the One who will shoulder it for us.
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but have never commented. This post really got to me…actually brought tears to my eyes because it hit so close to home. My oldest daughter turns three today. There are so many times I cringe when she mimics what I say to her (or others…yikes!). Thank you for the reminder of who really carries the weight for us!!!
What a beautiful post. Thank you for, once again, writing about those moments of perspective that God grants us in our crazy moments of mothering. Being a mother is pretty dang fabulous, isn’t it?
I love that she was bringing her lovey to “work”! There are days when I wonder what the heck I am doing, and then there are moments like that, when I know I am doing exactly what I was meant to do.
Beautiful post. Love it, thank you.
OH EMILY! How precious! This calling of ours is certainly heavy – to be trusted to raise such beautiful, perfect little souls. That is absolutely priceless.
xoxoxox
Emily,
That is a beautiful and grace-filled inspiration. I think God gives us those moments with a purpose. Its what w choose to do with them that show what kind of mothers we are. What a blessing that you were able to take that moment and run with it to a positive place.
Thanks. All so true.
Yes… you are all correct. Take time to stop what you are doing, and just watch, catch the moments, save them in the wrinkles of your brain, and of course take lots of photos for when you can’t bring up that memory you are searching for. When your little birds are fledglings and flying out of the nest, you will look back, and think oh so hard to recall all those days, but many get lost with time.
I tell you as a seasoned mom, it is TRUE. It is a blink, and they are leaving. I blinked!! The older they get, the less time there is between sunrise and sunset. Time begins to move like a locomotive engine out of control. They are loving life and looking forward to new horizons, and you are watching with longing, wanting to freeze time and just let them stay…stay just a little longer. It is bittersweet. But it shouldn’t be ANY other way. It is life as it was meant to be. Another generation you have poured all of your love and energy and emotions into. They are all that they should be, and you have done your job. You have “mommed” them into independence. There is no greater calling. Give it all you’ve got! Cherish the days.
Yet again, you have ministered to my heart through your gift of writing! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the verse from God’s word!
This made me cry and really think all about being a Mom. My daughter, age 9, tries to do things like me all the time. Some times I tell her to stop…maybe I shouldn’t. Thanks for helping me really look at things. Daughters are a wonderful blessing. I’m not too sure what I would do without my Best Friend!
Oh and sons are great in a completely different and great way!!!!
P.S. Love your blog!
That is so sweet! My son wants to be just like his Daddy when he grows up, and my husband feels the weight of that every day! I’m hoping he wants a wife one of these days like his Momma, minus the ugly parts. : )
I’m identifying with Julie’s comment. My children are grown and I tell you, nothing is sweeter than watching your child become a parent (and doing it way better than you did!).
Such a poignant post and one I relate to oh so well.
Love this, Emily.
awww…this panged my heart as i read it! i am working on a post “daughters” that speaks to this… i will send you a link when i’m done… i think it will touch you back. have a ‘weightless’ happy weekend!
ooooohhh…. I huff & puff way too often. I felt like I was looking into the mirror. Thanks for freezing the moment and pulling out what’s most important. Beautifully, as always. I gave you an award on my blog today! Blessings!!
wow. that was very powerful. and convicting. thanks
Wisdom is different than intelligence; I believe it comes only with an aging soul. YOU are an old soul. I could read your words all the live long day and never tire. Thank you for that!
I came here from your sister’s blog and found this fantastic post. Beautiful. Thank you!
Tears from me too. You have a real way with words.
She has picked one terrific woman to model her life after! Evidently, she doesn’t see so much the times when mommying is hard, but she sees the woman you really are and wants to be like that person.
Beautiful post, Emily. By the way, I haven’t forgotten the feedback, but we had a close friend die and I’ve been helping the family. Get back with you soon.
Oh dear. A reminder that my daughter acts so much like me. Am I someone to be emulated? Some days I’m not so sure about that….Also, just this week I posted about my son’s lovey which we affectionately call “The Woobie”. He just turned 8, and we’ve just about decided that he’s not ever going to give it up!
Lovely reminder! And oh so cute.. both my kiddos do things like this all the time. It is precious!
Our children will be just like us one day. We have to strive daily to be like Him!! Beautiful post.
It is an awesome responsibility we have been given, isn’t it? I know I pray for grace to handle things, and I thank God for His mercy when I don’t handle them well. Thank you for the beautiful and thought provoking post.
Very humbling and true.
*deep sigh* simply beautiful.
This made me cry. So sweet.
Girl – You, and HE never ceases to amaze me.
From one humphin, puffin mamma to another…aren’t we glad we have a Savior who gets us in bed on time with our lovie.
{sigh} I can so relate to this, although you expressed it more beautifully than I ever could. My daughter (3-years old) has been mimicking me more and more lately, and it makes my heart swell and smile. Small things that I had no idea she noticed…
Thank you for this post. I have three little girls and I too easily forget that their little eyes are watching everything I do. My littlest reminded me of that the other day when she was bopping around the house singing, “Oh be careful little eyes what you see. . .” I thank God everyday that I do not have to do it alone because I know that I cannot.
Oh how true your words are to my everyday life. The magnitude of our influence is unbelievable. This Motherhood gig is bigger than I could have ever imagined in my pre-Mommy days. I am so glad that I don’t have to do it alone.
“I’m thankful I don’t have to” – Amen, Sister!
Beautifully written- thank you.
efree. i love you.