There will be thirty of them. Many of them don’t know each other. Some are best friends. A couple might not really even like each other all that much. I get it. I was in high school once, too. Girls are funny when we get together. Put a bunch of high school girls in one house over night and out spills the best and the worst of them all. At least, that’s what we hope for.
I’m looking forward to hosting the 2nd annual Good Girl Project (along with my best girl Kendra) this weekend at my house. It’s for the girls in our youth group who are stuck in a private battle with that perfect, invisible good girl. A place for those of us who are caught in the cycle of trying hard to measure up with varying shades of success. A place for those of us who need to be reminded to simply be and receive in the midst of a world telling us to do and achieve. We’re gonna call that good girl out for what she is: a liar and a very bad friend.
And we’re gonna laugh a lot and share our Jesus stories and eat some chocolate because that’s what girls do. I wish I could have come to a weekend like this when I was sixteen. I’d tell myself to trust more, worry less and enjoy that stretch mark free tummy. Is there anything you wish you could tell your high school self?
That sounds incredible! What a fantastic thing for those girls to have mentors. Enjoy!
I would tell my highschool self…..no really, enjoy life and stop trying to grow up so fast. and ps, your family really does love you. PPs, none of those “really cute boys” you will know in 2 years. oh and ppss,go with the dreadlocks! go with the dreadlocks!
That sounds wonderful. Wish I had something like that when I was a teenager.
What I would tell my 16-year-old self?
“You don’t know what fat is.”
Can I pretend to be 16, just for one night?
But if I did, I suppose I couldn’t tell myself that he wasn’t worth my time and a size 4 is not fat, now, could I?
To stop worrying about how I look and what people think of me, they are too busy worrying about themselves to notice.
I would tell my high school self to look out for those that didn’t have many friends and be nicer to them. While I was never mean to anyone, I think I could have really made a big difference and been a lot nicer to a few kids. Everyone deserves a chance.
Karli
I would tell my high school self that no one looks like a magazine, they are all airbrushed AND there are people who need friends….go be one.
Suzanne
amen to trust more, worry less and enjoy that stretch mark free tummy!!! so when are you and Kendra hosting a good girls for moms?
I would tell my high school self that choices have consequences … some that last a lifetime. Weigh them carefully.
I would say “care more about what Jesus thinks of you than what the boys think of you”. Oh and “lighten up!” I was way too serious when I was a teen.
I’d tell myself that my worth is found in Him who is worth everything and not in this girl or that girl’s ugly comments. As a fellow mommy of twins, I would also ditto that whole stretch mark thing.
Seriously, what a priceless gift you are giving these girls. Good on ya, Ms. Emily!
this sounds really great! what a gift to give these girls
as for that high school self… i would tell her to be confident of who you are. and not to hang on to any one boy… friendships are so much more impportant!
Perfect doesn’t exist. For anyone.
I’d tell myself to relax and be who I am. Unfortunately, I had to reach 40+ before that became a reality. Oh how different life might have been if only I’d realized sooner that it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about me. The only opinion that counts is God’s opinion, not my friend’s, not my enemy’s, and not even my own.
I hope ya’ll have a total blast and that many young girls are set free just because they showed up and so did Jesus.
High School Self – Go to a few parties and have some fun! You will still get into college. A size 10 is a good thing. Be confident in yourself. And people like you, they really like you!
My very, very good girl has been looking forward to this for weeks. Many blessings upon you for taking on the project. Let me know when you do “good girls for Moms”!
And to my high school self: the right guy is worth the wait!
I’d tell her about the real and honest and true love of God for her. I’d tell her that he is the only one in her life that won’t ask her to perform for His overwhelming love. I’d tell her that she doesn’t have to be perfect before He will love her. I’d tell her that she is making some of those bad choices in life not because she really loves that boy…not because she’ll really be friends with those people in a year, not because homecoming queen and all the other titles really matter at all…but because she doesn’t understand God’s love for her and his purpose for her life…to love him and make him known.
Oh, I’d say so much more to that girl! I wish so bad that there had been someone…to tell me the truth when I was too young to know it on my own.
Praying like crazy that the truth sets them free to be who God made them to be. keyword..BE.
I’d tell myself to stop worrying about what other people think. Hang out more with your friends, less with your boyfriend (who I eventually married, but was so worried about what he thought that I blew off my friends time and time again). Don’t ever compromise what you know is right.
This takes me back to college. I was president of a Christian sorority and we used to study the book “Confessions of a Good Christian Girl” with the incoming freshmen. At the end of the study we would have a slumber party and do the exact same thing. It was so cool to see how God would use the event differently each year.
If I could tell my high school self anything, it would be to enjoy the friendships, show the love of Christ through kindness to everyone, and save money instead of buying so many clothes!
so excited for you and all the girls going! i know that i absolutely loved good girls last year and i wouldn’t be telling the truth if i didn’t say that it changed my life! you and kendra told some good, hard truth and it has stuck with me and helped me become less dependent on me and more dependent on Him!
miss you!
What a wonderful idea! I hope when my little girl is 16 she has something like that to go to!!
I would tell my 16 year old self – to pay more attention to the life lessons my parents were trying to teaching me. And that each decision lasts a lifetime!
I would tell myself: Forgive your past mistakes. Start respecting yourself and your body. Stay away from the boys — they don’t really love you. Enjoy the few times of relaxation when you truly have no responsibilities (ie. stop worrying because there will be too much to worry about in the future).
Love what you’re doing and would love for you to do a mom version — I’m only an hour away
I would say “Love yourself for who you are. Stop trying to be someone else and stop comparing yourself to other people. You are perfect the way you are! Stop worrying what everyone else thinks. They are worried about what you think! Be the sweet, funny and pretty girl you are!! People like you just for you!! And please, get a math tutor”
What a wonderful gift for these girls! Gee, Emily, maybe you should write a book about this. . . .
I’d tell my teenage self to stop worrying, that what’s what and who’s who in high school is not an accurate prediction of what life will be.
I would say focus on friendships. I spent all of my teen years focused on dating, and missed out on learning how to be a good friend. It’s much harder to learn as an adult with the added pressures of jobs/kids/husbands. Girlfriends keep you sane, while boys will drive you crazy!
yes, enjoy life, but spend less time on your hair and more time finding your purpose in life… look around for people who need a friend or help and then be the one to love them.
Your good-girl weekend is the only thing that makes me want to be 16 again (that and the taut tummy.) What an amazing gift you’re giving these girls.
I would tell those girls what my mom tells me now: “You be You.”
It sounds simplistic. And it is in the best way. I’m a recovering compareaholic, still prone to relapse though I am 20 years past 16. Learning to accept and even embrace the God-given uniqueness is hard. I never even considered the ways in which I was unique; I was too busy comparing myself to the supposed perfection of my peers…and how I never measured up. Oh the stories.
I’m mid-30′s and only now seeing the unique. It’s not too late but I wish I would have gotten a head start in my teens, started developing some of those gifts I didn’t even know existed. Um, can you tell I could write a whole post on this?
Lifting you up in preparation. God will bless indeed.
Me? I would tell myself, “Just stop! Stop gazing at everyone beside you and look at the One who made you with precision and adoring love. There is no other life abundant.” Oh and, don’t get a tattoo where it will stretch and sag from having babies. Words to live by.
Dear High School Self…
-stop worrying about what other people think
-you are smart and beautiful…REALLY…you ARE…now believe it!
-do not compromise what you believe because a boy wants to convince you otherwise
-enjoy your high school and college years…they will go quickly
-God knows your heart, he knows your deep down desires and if you trust Him He will never leave you or forsake you. Ever.
Love,
me
Gosh, where to begin… This is such a great idea though- one that I want to remember when my daughter goes in to high school and we are involved with the youth group…
How I wish I lived close enough to bring my pillow. I am glad you are having this again! What a surprise to see this morning in my reader.
Gee’s Em, I wish I could come to your fun filled girls weekend. If I could go back and tell myself something in high school it would be…
Forget the boys, study more AND believe in yourself.
I had lots of friends and was popular I guess you’d say, but inside I was totally insecure.
I wish I could come!
So many things I have to tell her…
Don’t.Date.Him… Ever.
Go to class!
Just because you work in a pizza shop doesn’t mean you have to eat 4 slices of pizza every day. Breadsticks count too!
Don’t buy those velvet pants. Buy the jeans that make you look like you don’t eat 4 slices of pizza every day.
What an awesome idea–those girls are so blessed!
Two things I’d tell myself: 1) He’s SO not worth it, and 2) Be kind, kinder, more kind. Like someone said above, it’s not that I was a “mean girl” in h.s.–no way!–but there were so many people I could have reached out to if I would have only taken my eyes off myself and put them on others. I knew who the hurting people were, but I ignored them, much to my shame.
Don’t compare, stop worrying about what others think about you, and embrace who God made you and serving Him. I’m glad to know that I am not the only one learning this life lesson late in life. 30, with number 4 on the way, I think the message is starting to sink in.
I hope you have an amazing night with these girls.
**And yeah, one for moms. Totally!!!
First off, what a simple, yet GORGEOUS photo.
And second, what would I tell my teenage self? I don’t know. Maybe to enjoy every second of it because you can’t do it all over again. I had a great time as a teenager, but I don’t think I really appreciated it. It was a great time, but I didn’t get how incredibly lucky I was.
I would tell my high school self that no matter what my father called me, I’m not ugly.
Yeah. I’d tell my highschool self the thing I realized after a bad breakup with a month to go of my senior year…You can be friends with just about ANYONE and EVERYONE in the school if you want. I was the shy kid and stuck mostly within my own group of friends. I didn’t venture out because, well, I didn’t I know how easy it was. When my highschool boyfriend (who was in the same group of friends as most of my other friends) dumped me I felt weird hanging out in the same group, knowing he’d be there, too. It was just too awkward. So, I started talking to other people in my classes, and lo and behold they talked back, and we had fantastic conversations. I remained friends with my old group, but I wanted to go to the big graduation party, and they didn’t. No worries–I had a whole new group of friends to go with after just a month of venturing out of my bubble. It wasn’t enough time to build lasting friendships, unfortunately, but it was enough to open my eyes and party break away from my shy self. So I would have told my high school me not to be scared and to just go out and meet new people. Life’s more fun t hat way!
Oh, and I’d also tell my highschool self that the feeling I felt when I thought I was in love with highschool boyfriends wasn’t real love but that I would know real love soon enough (with my now husband)
I would have told my high school self that no – you aren’t fat. Yes – you are pretty and don’t marry the 1st guy who asks you. Wait. Finally, I’d tell my high school self to go to college.
Only problem in all of that? I’d probably not end up with my oldest son and since he is the only pregnancy I was able to carry to full term there is a part of me that says I’d not say anything at all to my high school self. Except the you aren’t fat thing. I really wasn’t but sure thought I was.
Oh PLEASE have one for mommies. That would be awesome. And probably, while I’d love to sit me down and tell myself all sorts of things, the most important –and maybe the one that would have made the most difference — is “eventually you will figure out who He wants you to be AND you’ll love it. Keep pressing on to that goal and don’t worry about the rest.” I wish there had been something like this around when I was 16.
I don’t know what I’d tell myself at 16…because I knew me and I heard all this and I wouldn’t have listened to it.
Also…am I the only one that has read all of this great advice and realize that I still need most of it now? I still think I’m fat, still compare myself to others, still have trouble trusting God with my future and I don’t take time to enjoy everything God’s doing in the now. Man! I turn 30 in a month and I thought I was doing so good.
I would tell myself to study the Bible more, not just read some verses or do a simple devotion, but actually study the Bible and apply it to my life.
I would tell myself to be bold in sharing the Gospel with others.
I would tell myself to keep an eternal perspective.
It sounds like a great weekend you have planned at your house. Have fun!
You are so amazing and I love what you are giving to these girls.I am with the others – will you host a “Good Girls Project” for us moms/women/friends? We would so BE THERE!!!!!!!!!
I’d tell my 16yr old self – Find out who you are – who you really are and then be HER!! Don’t try to be who everyone wants you to be, expects you to be or needs you to be. Be who God created you to be. Dream. Pray. Hope. Risk. Write. Remember. Reflect. Forgive. Celebrate.
Also, I’d tell myself to surrender to the Love you have been looking for all your life – don’t wait until you are 22 and in a pit of depression and have no way out but HIM. Give yourself fully to the One who gave Himself for you!
Praying for your weekend and for each good girl who will be blessed to be part of it!
Looks like these comments can give you some direction as far as conversations for this weekend. It seems as though a big weakness for EVERYONE is acceptance – of themselves.
And what JoAnn said in a comment up above is so stinkin’ true – …stop worrying about how I look and what people think of me, they are too busy worrying about themselves to notice.
They are doing the exact same thing you are doing. Worrying and focusing on their hair, size, clothes, words, actions, etc. Just be you. God made you you for a reason and you’ll ruin the surprise if you try to be someone else! (Can’t remember where I heard that, but it was good whoever said it! ha!)
Have fun!
I would tell myself not to stress so much, though I think in 5 years I’ll be wanting to tell that to myself right now! I would tell myself not to judge people by the masks they hide behind, that a lot of them are kinder and more reasonable than I would have expected.
Oh I love that you’re doing this! I am just starting to lead a small group of high school girls with a friend of mine from church. They’re so fragile…and so precious. I would tell myself that there is so much more to life and God’s plans go far beyond the walls of high school. Enjoy your weekend!
I suppose there are plenty of things I wish my 16 year old self knew. I wish I knew that you can’t always believe what others tell you. As a freshman a boy told me I’d never get married because I would never date because I was the youth pastor’s daughter. And he assured me that all the other boys talked and agreed that they wouldn’t ask me out. I’m getting ready to celebrate my second anniversary in a few months – with my high school sweetheart.
And I wish I knew that it was okay not to have a plan, not to know the end result. I always had an answer when folks asked what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. It turns out that as a grown up, I really have no idea what I want to be or do yet…and I’m learning life is kind of a bigger adventure because of that.
Praying for your weekend!
I had a Jr High like that. My youth group was tremendous. I am what I am today because I had a Jr High like that.
Us girlies that were in that group still made mistakes…but man it sure helped us form making bigger ones…and giving us a sense if confidence and a place to belong. We felt loved by God, parents, and friends. All because some cool adults took the time for us. I was a youth director also until I married into the military and moved all over and had 4 little people
I love the teenagers!!!!!
I am a high school girl youth group leader, and I love your idea! Gosh, where were you when I was 16? What would I tell my 16 year old self? That girl friends are far more important than boyfriends, and that you will meet your prince charming, and he will be wonderful, and in the meantime, enjoy the girls in your life.
Have a great weekend!
I would tell myself that we are all in this (life) together. No need to feel alone and isolated. It took me sooooo long to figure that out!
Love your blog!
I would tell myself to just be yourself!! But that wouldn’t really work because I had no idea who I really was then. I would also tell myself that I wouldn’t really think about the people that I spent 12 years with once I moved on with life. If I would have really understood that, I wouldn’t have really cared so much what they thought.
I would tell myself that he was a jerk and to run far away from him. But I probably wouldn’t listen. And I would tell my post-him self that there is always, always grace.
Wow. I would tell myself that you will not believe me right now…but the pain will end someday…don’t let it eat who you are inside. You are SO worth believing in and so worth being! You are an amazing young woman stop trying to be someone you aren’t. Someday you will have a life that you think is impossible. Don’t put yourself down…talk to your teacher and tell her what is going on in your home…ask her for help. Don’t be ashamed…you are SOOOO worth it, sweetie!!! Ignore the negativity around you and keep believing that anything is possible with Jesus in your heart directing your life. Just because you feel different than other girls doesn’t mean that is bad…who knows…God has something big planned…don’t be afraid…don’t be afraid…ask for help you are only a kid you don’t have to deal with all of this alone.
Thanks for the opportunity, Emily! That was very healing!!!
I would go back and tell my 16 year old self that you CAN do anything you want and be ANYTHING you want to be, don’t let everyone else talk you out of following your passion.
Hmmmm, I think I’d tell my 16 year old self – to switch schools whether you think you want to or not, you are doing the right thing to graduate early, relax – about everything – including religion, stop choosing super-comfortable clothes and wear something that looks nice. Oh, and, highschool doesn’t last forever!
I would tell myself that these are my cookie eatin’ days even though I won’t realize it until many years in the future!
One of my favorite things are when girls/women get together in a retreat type setting…I love what happens. I love having the chance to speak truth to teens, wishing that someone would have said those things to me at that age.
May God walk with you this weekend.
I think I would tell myself that being the good girl will pay off one day. It was lonely growing feeling like I was the only one who wasn’t drinking or having sex. I wish I would have been more PROUD of my good girl image. I am so grateful, now, that stayed true to my convictions.
I would tell myself not to worry about having dates…that one day I would meet my prince and that was all that mattered. I wish that I didn’t spend my teenage years wishing I was an adult.
I think some of us “out-of-high-school” girls would benefit from a reminder like this from time to time! How special for those girls to learn early-on, that God’s love is unconditional, and always available.
I would love to go back and tell myself to enjoy those days more and not wish them away. Back then, I *never* could imagine myself turning 30…and I will this summer! WOW!
Sounds amazing – dear to my heart!!! Did you post a follow-up about how it went? I’ll look.
Cassandra´s last [type] ..Kids and Advertising- Giving Greedy Advertisers the Boot