2010 April | chatting at the sky

the month that came to visit

April 30, 2010

Well. Is it just me, or did April breeze through like an out-of-town friend only here to visit for the weekend? It’s as if she couldn’t stay as long this time, what with all her busy things to do and important places to be. I can’t believe she’s gone already.

I’m trying to work through the hot mess that is my manuscript. I sat in Panera for a few hours yesterday staring at my computer screen. I think it took two hours to write one really bad paragraph. I’m taking the weekend off from the writing. I’m going to soak in the first few days of May and see if I can squeeze out lots of spring living from them. But first, in an attempt to let April linger a little longer, here are some slow down posts that I keep going back to.

Taking Care of Me @ Small Notebook

Why and How to Take a Yearly Retreat @ Refreshed Motherhood

On Slowing Down @ Remodeling This Life

The Perfect Crunch @ My First Kitchen

And since I’ve been lazy getting my favorite links back up, I want to just say a big thank you to Chatting at the Sky’s top 10 referrers for April:

Reluctant Entertainer

Buzzings of a Queen Bee

The Lettered Cottage

The Run A Muck

60 Piggies

Filed Under inspired 15 Comments

breathe

April 28, 2010

Most of the night last night, I was awake. When I did sleep, I had a dream that I printed out my manuscript and it fell from the printer like soup. So I grabbed a little Japanese bowl to catch it with and took a sip without thinking. And then I worried because I wasn’t sure which chapter I ate.

My youngest is struggling through asthma this week. I hold him, warm and wheezy while he asks me for his medicine at 5 am. I step on a matchbox car in the sunroom on the way to get it. I think about turning 33 this week: the Jesus age.

He finally falls asleep and I watch as the air outside his window turns from black to glowing blue. His breathing is more even now, though raspy and loud. My own body is fighting off a cold and my mind is fighting off anxiety. My spirit has been sweetly redeemed by Jesus, but my mind still hasn’t caught up. And so I set it on truth, over and again. In some ways it has taken hold; in other ways I’m still waiting.

Sometimes I fight the rhythm of this God-breathed life. I try to force it smooth and shiny even though I should know better than that by now. I wheeze and cough my way through it, struggling against the tempo He has set. Today, I choose to receive His way of things, to breathe in this day as from His hand. It is really the only way to peace.

Filed Under a mess, a mother 30 Comments

tuesdays unwrapped

April 27, 2010

“When a bad thing happens, let the ugly pass. Don’t stare at it. Keep your eyes on the beauty that will follow in its wake like a skier behind a boat. Keep your eyes on the rope. The skier will soon appear, smiling and beaming with good news.” -Roy Williams, The Wizard of Ads®

I don’t know if every single moment in life carries with it a gift. But I do know that I usually find what I’m looking for. If I’m looking for a blessing, I will always find one. If I’m looking for a curse – well, I’ll find that, too. I get to choose what I focus on. That is why we come here on Tuesdays. To notice on purpose the small things hiding in secret places or the beauty that comes after the bad.

Is there some small thing you are celebrating today? Is there a different perspective than the one you’ve been holding on to? We would love to hear about it. Find the gift and then unwrap it. If you would like to participate but haven’t before, go here to see the guidelines. Be sure to use the permalink to your unwrapped post or your link will be deleted, and be sure to link back here.

Filed Under Tuesdays Unwrapped 19 Comments

on retreating

April 26, 2010

The women of our church have been at Myrtle Beach this weekend for the annual retreat. This year I decided to go and agreed to lead a small group. I knew that might be the only way to insure I didn’t skip small group time.

I’m so glad I went. I also got my own hotel room, which I don’t think I’ve ever done. I slept in the middle of the bed and ate peanut M&Ms way too late at night and watched (and loved) {500} Days of Summer while laughing out loud. It seems like whenever I get the opportunity to be a grownup I end up acting like a kid.

It was nice to get away. There is something kind of amazing about having a conversation without a single interruption, eating a meal without getting up from the table once and visiting the bathroom all by myself. More than that, though, there is such beauty in connecting with other women on a deep level, both those in my same stage of life as well as those who are walking behind and in front.

I’m not usually a huge fan of women’s retreats in general, as I have an aversion to ice breakers and I think I’m developing an emotional allergy to chit-chat. But this one was just right. What about you? Do you like retreats for women? What would your ideal women’s retreat look like?

Filed Under a friend 43 Comments

the writing process

April 23, 2010

My friend Melissa pointed out the fact that I’ve been talking about fear a lot lately and hoped I’ve been able to kick it out. Sorry I’ve been hiding behind my metaphors. It’s easier sometimes for me to be vague and dodgy until I’ve come through something. So instead of not posting at all, I talk in outlines and shadows.

Not that you can’t guess what I’m afraid of. Basically, I’ve written nearly this whole first book. It’s a rough, rough draft. There’s a lot that I want to re-arrange, re-do and take out. And some other things I haven’t put in yet. But I can see it now, better than I could a month ago. And there are moments where that is exciting. But lately, there are more moments where it is terrifying.

Because all these 50,000 words are sounding painfully the same, my message feels blurry and I’m so tired of hearing my own voice in my head. But then this morning, I got an email from Bonita, this perfectly-timed email. Bonita’s emails are always like that. She said she thought of me when she read this quote because she thought I may be in the stage where I could relate with it.

During the final stages of publishing a paper or book, I always feel strongly repelled by my own writing…it appears increasingly hackneyed and banal and less worth publishing. -Konrad Lorenz

Sometimes all it takes is to know you aren’t crazy, to know that all of these stages are a normal part of the process and that each one is important and needed. And so I’m going to stop talking about fear for a while. I don’t want to practice the presence of fear, I want to rest in the presence of Jesus. And even though the rest hasn’t completely taken hold yet, I trust that it will. And so I wait.

Filed Under a writer 25 Comments

the most unwelcome family

April 22, 2010

Worry is a thief, Fear is a liar, and Anxiety is their trembling, furrowed browed baby. They show up rude without an invite, that crying baby keeping me up all night. I’ve been coddling her too much lately. It’s time to put her down and kick that dysfunctional family out. Are you sick of me talking about them yet? Because I sure am. Thankful today for new mercies, different perspectives and a safe place to hide..

Filed Under a little bit crazy 17 Comments

tuesdays unwrapped

April 19, 2010

When he worries, my eyebrows furl. When he laughs, I smile. When he reminds me of the truth about trust, I believe him. When he travels, I wish I could go. When he comes home, all is right again. With our schedules as they are, we have missed each other a bit lately. And so in the missing, I am reminded of the gift.I know it has been said so many times before by so many married people, but this love choice really does amaze me sometimes. And so I pause to notice the overwhelming gift this man is to me, and I will try to remember to tell him more often.

What gift are you unwrapping today? If you would like to share it with us, simply go to Tuesdays Unwrapped at the top of this page to see the guidelines and to grab this button to put on your post.

Filed Under Tuesdays Unwrapped 42 Comments

the month that came to visit

breathe

tuesdays unwrapped

on retreating

the writing process

the most unwelcome family

tuesdays unwrapped

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