The women of our church have been at Myrtle Beach this weekend for the annual retreat. This year I decided to go and agreed to lead a small group. I knew that might be the only way to insure I didn’t skip small group time.
I’m so glad I went. I also got my own hotel room, which I don’t think I’ve ever done. I slept in the middle of the bed and ate peanut M&Ms way too late at night and watched (and loved) {500} Days of Summer while laughing out loud. It seems like whenever I get the opportunity to be a grownup I end up acting like a kid.
It was nice to get away. There is something kind of amazing about having a conversation without a single interruption, eating a meal without getting up from the table once and visiting the bathroom all by myself. More than that, though, there is such beauty in connecting with other women on a deep level, both those in my same stage of life as well as those who are walking behind and in front.
I’m not usually a huge fan of women’s retreats in general, as I have an aversion to ice breakers and I think I’m developing an emotional allergy to chit-chat. But this one was just right. What about you? Do you like retreats for women? What would your ideal women’s retreat look like?
i don’t like retreats either. they’re too mushy. too girly. they make me uncomfortable. but i would go with you. i love baskin robbins ice cream.
.-= melissa~afamiliarpath´s last blog ..The real housewife =-.
I think they’re only uncomfortable if they’re too formal/planned out – if there is teaching involved, great, but allow for 3/4 of the time to be for relating and just being ‘girly’ and leave room for real authenticity to occur. I think more than one day is key to a good retreat esp. with women who don’t hang out on a regular basis.
.-= heidi @ wonder woman wannabe´s last blog ..Mama Needs a Mental Health Day! – (with some linky love) =-.
I have an unnatural aversion to women’s retreats too. I really dislike compulsory fun. I guess I’m just not much of a “joiner”, which is the whole point of a retreat! I’m glad you enjoyed your time, and on a side note, I loved 500 days of summer too:)
.-= Kimberly´s last blog ..Why I will probably never work for the United Nations =-.
Well, since I’m a home-body, my ideal retreat would be that every one who lives at my house LEAVES & I stay home!
Or a hotel room to myself, eating M&Ms and watching funny movies with a bathroom all to myself. Sounds about right.
I think lots of time, we women tend to hide the truth behind chit chat and ice breakers. I love spending time with women who talk about JESUS and what he’s up to. What better way to celebrate than to celebrate what God’s up to? But that can be hard, because I think women have images that they like to uphold, and being open is harder than talking about their neighbor or their favorite salad .
I’m sure you had fun because you guys were talking about things of First Importance.
.-= JoAnn´s last blog ..A Journey to the Grocery Store in Spring =-.
I’ve had bad luck on most of the woman’s retreats I’ve attended. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had unreal expectations, been afraid to be vulnerable or because they were just poor retreats. I think so often I go into a retreat unprepared spiritually – I’m dry, empty and distant from Him. I then expect a weekend away to not only replenish me spiritually, but also to build amazing bonds with woman I hadn’t bothered to get to know that well before.
I’m glad you got some time away & I hope you’ve returned refreshed & renewed for the journey.
What you described sounds heavenly though. Especially the sleeping in the middle of the bed part – written as I’m currently 32-weeks pregnant, teetering on the edge of my queen size bed with my snoring husband & snoring 5-year-old son next to me.
.-= Melissa Brotherton´s last blog ..Slow Going =-.
I’m so with you…I don’t usually like retreats of any kind. I like to make my own schedule and do my own thing. I know, though, that this is not conducive (sp?) to community…so, I try and let myself go and be what others may need. Even for a weekend. However, ice breakers and game time usually makes me break out in hives.
.-= April´s last blog ..What Inspires You? =-.
I’ve never attended a women’s retreat. I’ve only attended a marriage retreat which we loved. I think I’m at a point in my life where I would love to experience one. Your statement about beauty in connecting with women on a deeper level, those behind and ahead, is so true. I had to get older in order to appreciate this.
And the BEACH!!! Our favorite vacation spot. (Garden City is more family friendly.) If the retreat is at a beach, I’m in!
.-= Southern Gal´s last blog ..The Fishin’ Hole =-.
I’ve never been to a women’s retreat either, for precisely the same reasons you gave. Ice breakers and chit chat make me physically exhausted. But Myrtle Beach has grown on me in the last five years or so, so I might consider it just for that.
an allergy to chit chat LOL! that is me, too. we are such introverts. good conversation? fine by me. idle chit chat? my eyes glaze over and i’m searching for the nearest exit.
glad you had fun acting like a kid. sounds fabulous.
.-= Emily@remodelingthislife´s last blog ..I Heart Faces ~ Smile =-.
“I think I’m developing an emotional allergy to chit-chat” — love that! Now I have words to describe it. Glad you could get away for a bit.
I have never been to one but I’d love to someday. It sounds like you had a great time! I laughed at the picture of Netflix, m&m’s and Baskin Robins. Yum!
.-= Alexis´s last blog ..Untitled =-.
I don’t usually like retreats for women either. I usually feel better after I’ve attended one, but getting me there is the problem.
This weekend I didn’t have a retreat with women, but I did have a mini retreat with God. Saturday was my son’s 18th birthday and he opted to hike a mountain. I wasn’t feeling well so I sat in the back of the van with the hatch up looking out on wide open space and tall green, leafy trees, talking to God while my family hiked. It was the perfect retreat.
I’m so glad you got to go be a kid again. Isn’t it fun to be in a room all by yourself, one you don’t have to clean!
.-= Bonita´s last blog ..A Penny for Your Thoughts =-.
Hey Emily. If only you could see our trash can in our room. It was so similar to yours. Except we had chips ahoy (which only Abby and I ate and still almost finished the bag in 2 sittings. It was a wonderful time wasn’t it. Very different from last year with only 1/2 the people. But with simple truth, real teaching, and refreshing fellowship. I’m so glad I got the blessing to go.
How was your Baskin Robins? My chocolate peanut butter was rockin!
.-= Angela´s last blog ..What will you choose? =-.
I got chocolate peanut butter too!
I’ll be honest, I used to HATE any kind of women’s event. And really, women in general. In college, I just hung out with guys all the time. Then God got a hold of my heart, and ironically, led me down a path of speaking to groups of women every month. Now, I’m at women’s retreats all the time, and I can honestly say that I love spending time with women, hearing their stories, and encouraging and being encouraged.
.-= Marla Taviano´s last blog ..I’m one of THOSE mothers… =-.
Oh….I want to hear more about it. I missed being there, but…as much as I am the queen of forced bonding, I don’t do the ice breakers very well any more either.
.-= Jen@balancing Beauty and Bedlam´s last blog ..Preparing for Vacation – Thrifting Style =-.
“….an emotional allergy to chit-chat…” I love that! I think that must be my problem too!
.-= Jill´s last blog .."Junk"le Bells in April =-.
your thoughts on retreats for women…mine exactly. it’s kind of hard when you are part of the staff (or your husband is) at a church…it’s hard to break through what they expect you to say and do and be ..to actually be yourself whether they like you or not….or at least that’s been my experience. Some of those feelings are due to my “junk.” and some of them are b/c people actually do have many expectations on the pastors’ wives. …over the years, I’ve found more and more freedom to just be who I am …it makes going to these retreats much more “manageable!”
And, I’ve found that most of the women are actually really encouraged to know that we pastor’s wives just aren’t any different than they are…it’s refreshing to most of them.
I’ve only ever done retreats for myself at retreat centers with all sorts of other people all there for a different reason.
I could REALLY use a retreat right now though. I have one child throwing a tantrum because she doesn’t like her hair this morning and another screaming “I want daddy” over and over and over and over and I’m going a bit insane. I’m on my own personal time out right now and I really wish it could be at a retreat center!
I’ve not been on any type of retreat, so I don’t know how I would fare. But, I do know that I loved that movie too. It was great.
.-= Valerie´s last blog ..Feeding My Sweet Tooth =-.
I’m going to one this weekend, rather grudgingly. I guess I really like women’s retreats in general, but I’ve been to this one before (it’s a church retreat), and it wasn’t great. I didn’t feel like I connected with the other women, there was a spider in my bed, the programming was just so-so, and the food was awful.
But I’m giving it another chance this year- rooming with two of my best friends, knowing and already respecting the key speaker, and praying no spiders will snuggle up with me. The food though- that’ll probably still be the same.
Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend!!! I was actually at the Beth Moore Simulcast on Saturday and it was an amazing experience. I will admit though I am one of those people who loves listening to the speaker and thinks she has to follow all the rules. Starting to move into a new time of life and have found that figuring out how I fit doesn’t always mean joining every group…just the ones I am comfortable with. Thanks for sharing…by the way…I didn’t hit baskin robbins like you all this weekend but did indulge in some incredible Rocky Road…my personal favorite!!! LOL
.-= Mary Joy@Snapshots from my Heart & Home´s last blog ..I attended the Beth Moore Simulcast yesterday… =-.
I have never been too fond of retreats myself. My husband and I were part of some marriage retreats and the chit chat made us cringe, I’m sorry to say. In my mind, there’s a way to be genuine about it, and we found out (both as participants and as presenters-in-training) that even the ice breaking parts were scripted. So not for us. We both are of the school of thought that words should be purposeful, and if they’re not meant for someone else’s benefit, edification, or genuine well-being, then they can be done without. (Boy, does that make me sound like a snob, especially since most of what I say probably is pretty pointless!!!) I can see why it works in some settings, but it sure didn’t work for us. I’ve been shy of them ever since. It sounds like the one you attended would have fit me to a tee, especially since it was at the beach! I[‘m holding out hope that God wills for me to be a part of one that clicks with me; I sure wouldn’t mind the uninterrupted movie-watching/M&M eating portion! Oh, and I suppose I’d get something out of the actual retreat, as well!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Whoa… =-.
At the bottom of this post was the link to the post you wrote about us making a place for our baby last year. It made me tear up and think back to that time, almost a year ago, when I was so hopeful, yet so scared. And it all fell apart, which only seemed to confirm my fears. Still waiting, trying to trust, hopeful that these next few months will bring blessings.
I’ve grown to not like retreats. The gushy, over-Christian reality of it all. That’s not me. The ice breakers – ick.
.-= Prudence´s last blog ..Hunted =-.
“Emotional allergy to chit-chat.” I like that. I think I might have the same problem! Chit-chat is necessary as you are first meeting someone and getting to know them, and that is often an uncomfortable place to be (for me). Even worse, is when everything just stays at chit-chat. When you know a group of women for a year and nothing progresses beyond chit-chat. I definitely have an emotional allergy to that!
As for ice breakers, I don’t like those if they are ice breakers that only include talking. If the ice breakers are games, I absolutely love those. I’m a just a kid at heart, so let me play a game and I’ll have a blast. I used to lead Adventure Recreation at camp years ago, and I loved those types of ice breakers.
I have only been to one women’s retreat in my whole life. Usually the schedule and/or location is such that I cannot go or keep up. My ideal women’s retreat would be in a place that is completely handicap accessible, lets me have a private room for sleeping, and doesn’t have any scheduled activity before noon. I don’t think those retreats exist.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Lily of the Valley =-.
I hate women’s retreats. no, hate’s not a strong enough word. But I also see their necessity in my life. I just want a women’s retreat that didn’t have a cheesy floral print where everyone just hugged the entire time.–in the nicest way possible.
.-= grace´s last blog ..I Tooks a Picture =-.
I’ve never been on one, but it does sound heavenly! I enjoyed 500 days of Summer, too. I really felt sorry for the guy, though!
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Misc. Monday =-.
The perfect retreat for me would be going to someplace like Colorado or Savannah, Georgia with my mama and sisters. Ah…
bathing suit, shower, pajamas, repeat. just returned from an escape last weekend…the group: me, my sister and three mutual friends. the expectation list went out beforehand and included: no cutting of food into small pieces, no whining, etc…the text i sent out the morning of departure was “no one can fight over who gets to sit next to me” ha ha… i, too, echo several others here agreeing about having an “emotional allergy to chit-chat” (SO love your words, emily!) our “retreat” was an incredible time of gazing into the wild of our creative Creator who is stirring us up in amazing ways…
I know I would have loved your retreat Emily, but I have the same aversions you do. Do you think that we all secretly feel the same way and that someone ought to tell the people who organize Retreats?
.-= Linda´s last blog ..Adding a Stone =-.
I’ve never been on an organized *retreat*…actually, I’ve never been on a disorganized one either. I think I have the same aversions that you do. I would go into it very cautiously…
It sounds like you had a wonderful time.
.-= kirwin´s last blog ..DIY Frisbee Invitations =-.
I seriously do not like retreats for women, and I’ve never figured out exactly why. Maybe I should think on this awhile. Hmmmm.
.-= Dayle´s last blog ..This Thing Called Hope =-.
I loved your post today, Emily. This is my first official blog comment ever, by the way. I was so happy to meet you at the retreat after being so blessed by your words and pictures for the past year. I sometimes get lost in all of the stories and emotions that retreats seem to bring out. And there are times when I am so full of story from my work that I am certain there is not space in my brain or my heart for one more. So I am a bit of a retreat avoider these days. Knowing that, I am so glad that I did not miss out on this weekend, though. I’ll be holding on to a few words. Take off your graveclothes. Don’t get stuck at the stone. God smiles. Blessings on you as you continue to break ice and chat in spite of yourself. :0)
ummmm, i want to come!
.-= Gwen´s last blog ..God, Allah, or Conan O’Brien – Sexual Satisfaction In Marriage =-.
I’ve never done a women’s retreat, but I don’t think I’d like it. I’ve been involved with some women’s conferences, and I was less than thrilled. Not sure why.
.-= Gayle´s last blog ..Prayer Changes Things =-.
I’ve developed a chit-chat allergy too. I haven’t always been allergic but these days I find myself wanting to take a nap after situs event that requires small talk. I fear I’m becoming a troll. Anyway, I think I’d enjoy a retreat with my own bedroom, a place to actually retreat. And I think I’d like a retreat that’s not at all forced or contrived and where the women are real. That sounds lovely. The beach helps too!
.-= The Scooper´s last blog ..For the Love of Friendship =-.
I ? Women’s Retreats. And am obviously in the minority. When time is set aside for God, He continues to surprise me and He shows up! And when I allow myself to wind down enough to let relationship happen, God has shown up in the lives of the women around me. I’m continually amazed by Him! I think we women have to get over the whole idea of having a specific image to uphold (hence the chit chat as we decide if another woman is reliable, trustworthy, and just broken enough to ‘get us’) and be real. So, I ? Women’s Retreats. And conferences too.
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..Hiatus =-.
The ‘?’ above were <3 (hearts) that didn't post correctly… I LOVE Women's Retreats!
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..Hiatus =-.
When I was younger, I disliked women’s retreats for all of the above reasons. But with God’s sense of humor, He saw fit to give me the ministry of being the main speaker for retreats for eleven years. I spoke at beautifully planned retreats and retreats where I wondered if anyone was in charge. However, the benefits for me, as main speaker, were all the stories the women told me privately. They would tell me things they wouldn’t tell the other women because I was “safe.” I would be leaving after the retreat and they wouldn’t have to face me week after week. That was where the real beauty of the retreats was hidden–when the women became authentic and shared their struggles. I was able to pray with them, try to encourage them, and remember their stories years later. They also encouraged me in my walk with God. If only we could feel free to be authentic with our friends and show where we struggle and where we fail and where God came through in wonderful ways…..
I am so happy we skipped the chitchat and got real instead. Excellent call on your part! I, too, enjoyed the weekend. Real conversation with some remarkable women, time to process what I was hearing God say in my heart the past few weeks, Saturday afternoon napping, Dairy Queen blizzards, late night snacks/coffee/ and games in our room of 11, relaxed meals, showering and peeing by myself, carrying just one bag around, no phone calls, the constant sound of the waves, and time to devote to other women in my life.
Here’s the rest of that “abiding” word picture I brought up. Thought you might want to hear the rest of it…
http://littlepapiandpunkin.blogspot.com/2009/03/abide-with-me.html
I go every year to my church’s woman’s retreat, and most of the time, I go reluctantly. I always fear drama or tears or some sort of problem when you throw 60 completely different woman into a weekend of forced togetherness. But, before I go, I pray that God would open my heart to hear what He wants me to hear, and to put me among woman who may need to hear what I have to say. And surprise! God always provides a weekend of growth, encouragement and good old fashioned girly bonding! Don’t you just love God!?!