This weekend, I was able to spend some time at my sister’s house with some friends, including Stephanie from (in)courage. This would be an appropriate place to put a picture of us, but I only took one and it was super blurry. Besides, when you are at The Nester’s house, it’s hard to take photos of people.
I tend to take photos of stuff like this. Because, hello? How cute. While chatting with Stephanie, she asked me if I am ever intimidated by the fact that my sister is The Nester, and whether or not that makes it hard for me to measure up in my own house.
People actually ask me this question a lot, so I thought it might be helpful to answer it here. As you know, my sister hasn’t always been The Nester. But she has always, always nested. And she’s always been creative, brave and free when it comes to crafting house into home. When I got married nearly nine years ago, I thought those instincts might kick in with me as well. They did not. In fact, the exact opposite happened with me. I became a ball of insecurity, not necessarily in comparison with my sister, more because I lacked confidence in my own taste or ability. I didn’t have that same sense of freedom.
Where my sister would paint a wall, hate it, repaint it, hate it, repaint it, and change her mind, I would leave it white and worry. Afraid to try. Afraid to fail. Afraid. Over the years, she has helped me to know how to think about my house, to not let fear be a motivator, and to give myself permission to fail.
“Is your home a place to be or a place to be careful. If you can’t make a mistake at home then where can you try out something new? If you are determined to worry about something, worry about cancer or a meteorite hitting the earth or the end of the world. DO NOT worry about paint colors.”
~The Nester
You have to admit, she makes a great point. Because the truth is, there is an uncanny parallel between how we approach our home and how we approach our life. The heavy, hovering cloud of fear does not discriminate. If we let it, it will overwhelm all areas of our life, from cancer to curtains. So to answer Stephanie’s question: No, I am not intimidated by the fact that my sister is The Nester. If you have met her, you will I’m sure agree that she is simply not an intimidating person. But there have been times where I was envious of her freedom. I wondered why I couldn’t just let go and live in my home and feel free to make it rather than letting it undo me.
I sincerely hope this doesn’t sound too cheesy or dramatic but I’m going to say it anyway. I credit my sister for ushering me into a place of healing and freedom when it comes to expressing myself in my home. I now feel fairly confident in my own taste and style, and it isn’t because she told me what to like or because I copy her. It is because she has encouraged me to try, play, mess up, have fun and try again. I would do well to apply that same philosophy to the way I live my life.
I can’t believe anyone’s every asked you that. I always feel like I am Emily’s sister. The sister of the super popular Captain of the Cheerleading squad, the sister of the college graduate with honors, the sister of the author who is publishing two books. The sister of the girl who’s husband says, “hey we should knock down that wall in our house”. The sister of the most purposeful and intentional woman I know. It’s such an honor to be your sister.
It’s the highest complement to know that something I said or really something I did and didn’t like and did and didn’t like, like painting my wall 23 different colors changed the way you think about something.
Wish we lived 14 houses away again. But, I’m also enjoying how our relationship has changed since we keep up with each other online too. Miss you already.
.-= The Nester´s last blog ..The Afterparty =-.
You both have uniquely beautiful homes and for what it’s worth you both seem equally confident in the beauty and letting your home be you. I truly see your home and think it’s so you. And trust me, I don’t often think homes reflect who people are. You’ve done a great job with that.
I think one reason so many people love your sister is that she gives us all permission to just try it.
And we all love you because you’ve tried it, made it, and expressed all of it so beautifully.
.-= Emily@remodelingthislife´s last blog ..Life With Chickens =-.
I think you’re both lovely and inspiring.
Now THAT’S cheesy.
<3
Karin
.-= Karin @ 6byHisDesign´s last blog ..on plans to prosper =-.
Beautifully spoken, Emily. You and The Nester are beautiful sisters.
As for worrying about the little things, we’re learning the phrase that my brother-in-law often speaks, “That ain’t no thang!’ We remember that we lost our nephew, his ONLY child, three days after his 21st birthday, and we know he’s right. The little worries don’t amount to much of anything when you put them in perspective. Life is often short-lived; what a waste to spend it worrying.
And being in the midst of redecorating, your reminder of that is very timely. Thanks!
.-= Shelli @ Hopefully Devoted´s last blog ..One Thousand Gifts :: How to Overcome Discontentment =-.
makes me wish i HAD a sister!
you guys are both darling, of course. so fun meeting you this weekend!
I loved your blog…and just realzed you were sister…like today! You are each so sweet and talented!
Your sister pushes me to trust my instincts and try something different all the time. I’m slowly gathering courage…
.-= Southern Gal´s last blog ..Happy Anniversary! =-.
That doesn’t sound cheesy or dramatic. it sounds honest and beautiful . That was a great post!
.-= Bringing Pretty Back´s last blog ..2:30 A.M. phone call =-.
I love this post. My two younger sisters inspire me in amazing (and different) ways, and they tell me I’ve inspired them too. I love that we’re so different and yet so alike. Sooooo thankful for them!
.-= Marla Taviano´s last blog ..they have decided… =-.
This is so appropriate to me today. You know I got my new big girl table and what I didn’t tell you was that I got a chalkboard/picture frame thing too. I was so hesitant to put it up and I wanted everyone to like it. I was so scared that I posted a pic of it on FB hoping for reassuring comments and my father in law posted back that he didnt’ like it. I was crushed. I am so desperate to have people like my big girl house with big girl things and to tell me that I have style. Why, I don’t know. So today I appreciate your words of encouragement. They have filled my soul. My house is my home and I live there. I love every part of it more and more everyday. Thanks for reminding me of that!
I love your encouraging words to each other! You are both fabulous! And I am so inspired to try somethng new. Even if I mess up!
I appreciate the permission.
.-= Angela´s last blog ..Grace AND Truth =-.
I love your longer posts. I love these thoughts. I love family. Thank you for sharing all three.
Sisterly love… it’s a beautiful thing.
.-= Dayle´s last blog ..Good Fathers Find A Way ~ Happy Birthday to my Father =-.
You have a very wise sister, this was good for me to read.
.-= Megs´s last blog ..Soon =-.
This is such a generous, beautiful tribute to your sister and your love for her. I can totally relate. While my sister isn’t The Nester in terms of home decor, she’s always had a funky, unique, very cool personal style (in dress, hair, accessories, etc.). She can pull it off so well. No matter what she wears, she looks good, yet different, cool. And I am always just preppy. No matter what. I could pierce my tongue and somehow it would still look preppy on me. Nonetheless, my sister has encouraged me to step out of my comfortable fashion box, to find a style that while not edgy and funky, is still my own. Preppy, yes, but perhaps with a hint of sass. Like you, I give my sister credit for encouraging me.
I loved, loved this post. It made me well up, for some reason. I miss my sister!
.-= Michelle @ Graceful´s last blog ..Unity =-.
After meeting your sister at the slipcover party, I totally get ya girl. She’s not intimidating, just a huge encouragement.
.-= Tracey´s last blog ..Sectional Slipcover Day at The Nesters! =-.
It is an interesting question, since I would say both of you are quite decoratingly inclined. She does move things around and work on this way more often than I do, but she has a blog to write. Once I’m happy with something, I let it stay up there for a while.
Hope you had a great time. Love ya.
exactly what sisters should be for one another…challenging…honest…encouraging…loving.
Emily, if you ever doubt that God uses you to reach others, doubt no more. I can’t shake the very egocentric feeling that this post was custom written for me! If only you knew how He is using just what you speak of as a steady, constant theme in my life lately. I am awestruck once again, but not surprised, at how personal He is. Thank you!!!
You and your sister are rare treasures, two sides of the same beautiful coin. I enjoy you both so much because you both teach me so much!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Room to Breathe =-.
I’m really surprised she asked you that. Has she seen your house? I want your house.
The Nester has become something bigger than herself because she’s good at what she does and she has a code name. It’s catchy. Like Dear Abby or Cher or Madonna or Lady Gaga. Would Lady Gaga be the brand that she is if she went by her real name, Stefani? Maybe you should be “The Chatter.” HAHAHAHA!!! I’m totally kidding around. But, from now on, call me Woodsy ok? LOL!
.-= Jill´s last blog ..Board =-.
Dear Woodsy – That’s hysterical! Thank you for liking my house – I actually think Stephanie was asking more from a friend-perspective than from a comparison perspective. I understood where she was coming from. And I think you’re onto something there – I could be The Chatter. Or Nesty’s ‘Lil Sis.
.-= emily´s last blog ..how the nester helped me see =-.
I think I”m gonna change my name to Lady Nestie. Yes, when people see Emily’s house they look at her like “why does your sister write about her poor neglected house all the time–shouldn’t you be the one writing about your glorious home?”.
.-= The Nester´s last blog ..The Afterparty =-.
i just read her comment to you
because im weird like that
& oh my goodness
ya’lls relationship is what i hope for my girls when they grow up
captain ? honors? you go girl! xo
.-= paige´s last blog ..for the love of strawberry jam =-.
hey friend. love how you tied together how we approach our home with how we approach life. great parallel. and just for the record, you do have great style with your house!! but it has been really fun over the last few years to see you just throw something up or take something down (or even take out a wall!) without being worried how it would fair. oh, and by the way, i’m having a party over at my new place!!! come on over!!
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Celebrating Change with a Give Away! =-.
i loved, loved, loved this post…and so related to me and my sister, the out-going one was/is she…now she borrows my “funky-town” jewelry/clothes and sometimes says she’s not ready to “go there” yet. i love, love, love my sister and cannot believe that, after literally living a world away from each other, we now are separated by only 4 miles. beautiful words, yours.
.-= adornedlife´s last blog ..elder =-.
You are a beautifully gracious person with a most wonderful sister. I must meet these parents of yours and get all their secrets.
love you both,
edie
.-= edie´s last blog ..A bonafide Volunteer! =-.
I was just thinking along the same lines as edie … I’ll bet your parents are just really amazing people.
And now I’m off to visit The Nester’s site…
.-= brianna´s last blog ..Words for Vigilance =-.
I’m lovin all the cheese! Well put… both of you! I have a sister that isn’t always sure what she should do but tries anyway. It is fun working together. I wouldn’t trade it for anything! BTW, my sister-in-law went to the party and had wonderful things to say about your sister and what a gracious host she was!
What a beautiful sisterhood, that leads you to better, and away from fear… into freedom. What a blessing!
I love my sister to pieces too.
.-= imoomie´s last blog ..Cool Jesus Rap… =-.
Emily, your house is gorgeous — it has a sophisticated intentional beauty that I love. And your intentional ways is what perhaps makes you question or fear taking a risk at home…you don’t want to waste time by messing it up. And nothing wrong with that approach, it is wise and thoughtful, just like your personality. When you do make a decision, it ends up being lovely. And by taking your time you accomplish other great things along the way, great GOD THINGS.
Both of you do exactly what God created you to do, in your own sweet ways.
I think I am the forgotten middle sister.
Heart you both.
.-= melissa @ the inspired room´s last blog ..Visualizing Your Style =-.
I have come to love both you and your sister’s blogs and found them both separately, only recently realizing you were sisters. Let me just say you are both abundantly blessed by God in the ability to share with others, encourage and inspire others and strengthen and give wonderful light to the blogging community. Thank you for being YOU and your willingness to share your journey and thoughts. Btw, I am SO not a cool decorator, but I have made my home comfortable (though still too cluttered) for my family and a place that we can lovingly come home to.
I am so with you. The cautious, careful, fearful one. Thanks for helping me relate and for sharing your talents with us!
.-= becca banana´s last blog ..Thought for the Day =-.
I love you both and would love to hang out and listen to ya’ll talk non-stop. The relationship you two have is a huge blessing from God. I am and have been stuck in this fear. I hate (maybe too strong of a word) everything in my house – it’s cluttered, dusty, and just weighs me down. I want to change it. I want this to be a home representative of me and my family. But I don’t even know where to start. How do you find your style? How do you know what’s you? These are the questions that continually run through my mind.
I’m totally envious of not only ya’ll’s relationship with each other but the freedom ya’ll have to have a grown-up home. Maybe I need to come crash at your house for some inspiration
.-= Lisa B @ simply His´s last blog ..Trading Spaces: The Love Edition =-.
Y’all are great together and great as individuals. I’m so glad you learn from each other instead of competing. You both have so much to offer, just in different realms and with different personalities. Most of all, though, the relationship between the two of you speaks volumes.
.-= Bonita´s last blog ..Sleepy, Weepy Writing Day =-.
LOVE it! I too have been inspired by your sister and not only in the nesting area! Father knew that I needed to have her in my life during those brief years in her small group
.-= That Crazy Family´s last blog ..Closets, Cabinets and Creepy Crawlies Oh My! =-.
not sure that i’ve ever left a comment before, but i so loved this post. my sister and i are very different people, and i know firsthand that the business of sisterhood — estrogen doing what it does — can get messy. what a great encouragement to see the way you two learn from and support each other …
bring on the cheese any day- love this post. I do find it funny that I read you both separately for years before realizing you two were sisters…didn’t realize until (in)courage started up.
As a recovering perfectionist, this was so grace-breathed to me…needed to hear it, especially while I am in a renting situation…
.-= Joy´s last blog ..A wander… =-.
i loved this post yesterday. it reminded me of myself and a bestie of mine. i linked to this post today at my place. thank you for sharing this. so articulate and beautiful.
Well this was just the most fun post! I bet everyone who’s read it wants to be the honorary 3rd sister. I think Nester is so well-loved and followed because she’s able to read the minds of so many of us who tend to “be careful” with our homes instead of seeing home as a place to just “be.” I love that! She is so quotable. Personally, she freed me up to mistreat every window in my house even though I can’t sew. I should have a holster for my hot glue gun…I use it that much. And she’s convinced this already-frugal girl that you can repurpose just about anything and never shop my house too much. She should win some sort of world-changer, peace prize, Nobel something or other for all good decorating deeds.
I hate I missed the party! Getting to see you and your sis and JUNE…it would have been Christmas and my birthday all at once.
.-= The Scooper´s last blog ..Meet the Family {Beach Edition} =-.
Hi Emily,
I wish I had taken the chance to say ‘hi’ this past weekend at Nester’s gathering. I was super giddy and nervous to be there, it’s all a blur. I’m looking forward to following your blog. I love the breath of calm and encouragement your posts have. Looking forward to your new books! I love books and with a little girl of my own, I’m very excited to learn about christian books for girls.