Mary DeMuth is an award winning author of both fiction and non-fiction. Her memoir, Thin Places, boasts of a God who brings redemption and beauty from even the most tragic circumstances. She is passionate about seeing people be set free from their past and turn their trials into triumphs. Find out more about Mary’s books and ministry on her blog, or follow her on twitter. And ps? I want to be her when I grow up. Amen.
As a writer, I’ve written my way through a long journey. I considered writing a pursuit and a dream twenty years ago, then spent ten years writing in obscurity, typing miles and miles of unpublished words. Through that decade, I did what Malcolm Gladwell talks about in his book Outliers. Genius comes mostly from persistent hard work—namely 10,000 hours of dedication. My decade was my 10,000 hours.
But even as I made fake deadlines and made myself meet them, even as my children grew from babyhood to toddling busybodies to elementary scholars, I felt that deep wooing inside. A calling to write. It’s something I knew way down deep. I was made to write words.
The sheer joy of writing sustained me ten years. And the calling kept me hungry and tenacious. After I wrote my first novel (still unpublished) in 2003, I’d had several small-scale successes. I’d joined a critique group and fetched valuable feedback. I met who would become a dear friend and mentor. I got published in several magazines, and I landed a small newspaper column. When the novel garnered me an agent, I felt that flutter of joy. Someone important valued my words!
That joy continues, but now it’s tempered by reality. I’m having to circle around again to calling, remembering that Jesus has gifted me to write, that my words somehow (through His grace) touch folks. Amid the worry of real deadlines, fickle sales numbers, marketing pressures, and a constant low-grade stress about money, His calling seems like a whisper. Everything else shouts.
Wherever you are on your writing journey, you must settle this issue. Have you been called to write? How do you know? Here are 10 unscientific questions you can ask yourself as you determine calling:
- Do you wake up at night and jot things down? No matter where you are, if you hear an interesting turn of phrase, do you determine to remember it?
- Have you risked enough to send a query letter? Have you been rejected and learned to develop a thick skin? Have you had anything published? (Many “writers” say they’re writers but never risk having their words out there.)
- Have other people told you (not your family or your best friend) that you have unique talent to write?
- Have you received positive feedback about something you’ve written? Have your words changed the course of someone’s life, or helped another person see things differently?
- Do you love to hang around other writers? Do those writers give positive feedback on your writing journey and encourage you to continue?
- Do you absorb and devour books, particularly in the genre you’re interested in?
- Are you enraptured by critique? Have you learned to accept constructive criticism? Does the craft of writing excite you? Do you write at least 500 words a day?
- Would people describe you as disciplined and tenacious?
- Can you trace a line through your life showing your tendency to write your heart on the page through the years? Journaling? Story writing? Poetry? Songwriting?
- Has God specifically spoken to you about His desire to see you write?
How did you do? Again, remember this is my list, a reflection of my own journey. It may not resonate with you. But what should resonate is this: calling.
The calling to write helps you endure the ups and down of the publishing journey. It carries you through the dark places of unwritten words. It woos you back to the page when you’ve strayed. It kicks you in the behind when you’re tired of revising again. And again. And again. It encourages you when you’re tired of the publishing industry and its seeming insatiable demands. It steadies you when you feel like quitting. It reminds you why you write.
So settle this now. And if you’re discouraged today in your journey, revisit calling. Remember the sovereign God who calls you. He is able to accomplish amazing things through surrendered pens. Rest. Wait. Hear from Him. Settle your calling. And then write like the wind.
Thanks, Mary. I truly love this post. For a long time I was able to answer ‘yes’ to a lot of these questions, but I didn’t do anything about it. To be called to write, you have to actually write. I ignored that part for a while. Thank you, Mary, for settling your calling and encouraging us to do the same. Are you serious about taking the next step in your writing journey? Consider hiring Mary or another writing mentor at The Writing Spa.
mmm. this is a good one. I’m passing this on.
and emily? “Amen?” giggling here…
Kelly Langner Sauer´s last [type] ..i forget- i remember – one thousand gifts
I’ve always known God has called me to write. I have volumes of journals in my closet, went to college for journalism and I used to have a newspaper column (until our local paper merged with a bigger one three years ago). This called was never more evident to me than two years ago. When my brother died two years ago, I went through several months of not being able to write. The words wouldn’t come. One night at 2 am, I woke up in a panic and started writing… I ended up with 10 pages of hand-written words that night. The next day I started a blog and have been writing for no pay ever since
.
I’m still at the fear of rejection stage though… God has placed a manuscript on my heart, but I am almost paralyzed with fear when I think of publishers not liking it. It’s much easier to blog and get a handful of comments from people who like what I write than it is to pour my soul out and risk someone telling me those words are not good enough.
Thank you for this post. Fear of failure stinks.
Kristy´s last [type] ..Lets Get Physical – Picking Yourself Up When Your Husband Falls off His Pedestal
Step out. Let your words out there. Once you get your first rejection, you’ll weather it, then move on. If anyone wants to pursue publication, this is the first step. Just do it!
Lovely writing here, Mary. You will encourage someone with this today.
And yes, wrestling with the call and all that it means is a big project, by itself.
Cassandra Frear´s last [type] ..Like Water on Stone
Thanks, Mary (and Emily). I’m always encouraged and challenged by your words.
Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side´s last [type] ..Fabulous Friday Food
I loved this. In college, I thought about it all the time… I was born with the itch to write. Since marriage and motherhood, I’ve contented myself with blogging. I don’t know what the Lord has for me in the future. For now, I’m happy with where I am.
Anna´s last [type] ..Reading for Your Morning Cup
Having that contentment is key. I wrote a lot when my kids were small, but not for publication. A blog is a great outlet.
Thanks, Mary, as always for your wisdom and for writing it out for us to benefit from!
God has used you to confirm his call, again!
This is oddly discouraging to me today. It’s making me wonder if the lack of direction I’m feeling from God is because this isn’t my calling. I used to love to write until I went to the Blue Ridge conference and since then haven’t written anything but a few blogs. (I chalk that up to being overwhelmed from my first conference but God did beat the Holy Tar out of me on a spiritual issue while I was there.) Now I read your list and I can say yes to most of the questions…and then read “Rest. Wait. Hear from Him. Settle your calling” knowing I’m waiting and hearing nothing.
Sorry to be a downer. Just being honest.
Jason´s last [type] ..Dale gets dipped
Jason, sometimes getting too much feedback at a conference can paralyze us. My hunch is that is what happened. I’m not one to dictate seasons of your life, for sure, but perhaps God is taking you on a waiting journey. Saturday night at the Christy Awards, Lisa Samson talked about the importance of hanging out with people and interacting face to face. We can’t write unless we’ve had experience in life. Perhaps now is one of those life experience times?
I would say I’m in the rest-wait-hear from Him stage of this. But every now and then I think that perhaps it’s just fear that keeps me from moving forward. It’s something I’ve pondered at length before, and now I have more food for thought.
Imperfect´s last [type] ..Life Inside
Why not just try to dip your toe in a bit? God will show you if it’s the right timing. But you can’t go forward by standing still.
You’ve encouraged me today, Mary. But then, you always do.
Sandra Heska King´s last [type] ..Break the Fast
Thanks, Sandra.
I think the determining factor (for me anyway) is that a writer can’t NOT write. Whether his or her work is ultimately published is another matter.
katdish´s last [type] ..The little people by Billy Coffey
True on publishing, as we can’t control that sometimes!
Mary,
I am stuck on my current WIP, but I still hear the voice gently nudging me on. I knew I should write when I put a women’s study together 4 years ago about putting permanent positive change in your life. And then our study group used it and liked it. What a joy. And you’re right, it isn’t always so easy to hear His voice above all the rest of life that crashes in around you. You just have to have a dedication and set your mind toward that goal. Easier said than done.
Wonderful post. There are days that I don’t reach the word count. I’m still trying to get better glue for the chair I write in.
Rah Rah Rah, you can do it, Dawn!
Mary, it really encourages me that you weren’t an overnight success, but had to spend a long time writing before the doors opened for you to reach the multitudes that you now reach with your words. I’m so there!
I am definitely called to write. I love to write. I love to help other writers. Yet, I admit that I feel like I’m always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
I thank God for the successes I’ve had and for the people I’ve been able to help through writing, but the truth is that I want more. I feel called to more. That’s hard to admit, but deep in my heart it’s the truth.
Bonita´s last [type] ..Less Impressing- More Writing
It’s okay to feel called to more. That’s part of the journey God gives us to spur us forward.
Just this morning as my husband drove me to work he recounted a conversation he had with our adult son yesterday. Our son is in that place between college and life where uncertainty and passion mingle and get all twisted up together. Our son is afraid of settling for a job he doesn’t really want and then finding himself still there twenty years later. He’s afraid he’ll miss his dream as it goes sailing by and he said, “Take mom, for example…” To which my husband replied, “It took your mom a long time to realize that writing is her thing that God wants to use. And if you ask her about it, I’m sure she’d tell you that she would not change one single step along the way to that realization.”
He’s right. Coming to the place of recognizing and then stepping into a calling is no small feat. It takes time. And it is worth it. Every single step.
deidra´s last [type] ..Seeing God
There’s a blog post in there, Deidre. Great point.
Thank you for this Mary as I can honestly say yes to all of them and that makes me feel better with some of my decisions I’m making in the coming months:)
Terri Tffany´s last [type] ..5 Ways to Drive your Spouse Crazy with your Writing
Glad to hear it!
Thanks for this post. Writing is something that I’ve always had a passion for – I wrote my first short story as an 8 year old and have loved it ever since. But for some reason I never allowed myself to consider it as a career or a calling. It was just something I did for me. But the past few years I’ve been feeling a stirring in me that tells me to do more. I’ve made excuses for not putting my work out there and it’s time to stop making excuses and just do it.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Brazil – Part 1
Stop making excuses! The world needs your words, Jennifer.
Thank you Mary. You are always so encouraging. As a mo
of elementary kids, your words give me inspiration to keep it up.
This definitely resonates with me! I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. And becoming a stay-at-home mom has opened the doors to not only content but time (naptime that is) to actually produce and query as I’d not been able to do when working full time. Now I really need to take the next step and put together on a book proposal for a couple of projects I’ve been working on. I just need to start doing it!
Danielle´s last [type] ..The Clothesline
I have a free query tutorial on my site here: http://www.marydemuth.com/speaking.php?view=freestuff Also, if you’re mired in your nonfiction proposal and aren’t sure how to proceed, I have a tutorial here: http://www.marydemuth.com/store.php It gives examples, samples, and a template and is 75 pages long.
Thank you so much for the resources!
Danielle´s last [type] ..The Clothesline
Thank you so much for the right mix of encouragement and honesty. I think I know that people like to read when I write. I’m grappling with how I want to move forward with this. I have made some mistakes with regard to jumping into things I’m passionate about before, and now find myself too cautious. I am inspired by the fact that I wake up every day trying to take baby steps, but I am just on the brink of starting to take this more seriously.
Thank you for the inspiration today , Mary.
deb @ talk at the table´s last [type] ..a wee post of vast potential
Oh, Mary! I just love this! Many of these questions were true for me even when I was a young girl. I stepped away from it for a very long time, but then found my passion renewed when my husband was deployed and my evenings were quiet. I know God speaks to my heart on this issue, but (as you said) His whisper can be hard to hear amidst the world’s shouting. Who wants to read my big fat opinions anyway? But still. His whisper and wooing do call and drive me onward, giving me courage. Hopefully, I will become less of a scaredy cat!
Have a wonderful week, Mary!
Kristen-Moms Sharpening Moms´s last [type] ..Coming Home
Mary DeMuth, you are truly “called” to write. I’m honored to be a fellow-member in the AWSA writers association with you (I always feel like I’ve crashed the party and everyone feels sorry for me and lets me stay on). Every time I read your work, I’m reminded of the wonderful Anne Lamott quote: “If you are no longer wracked or in bondage to a person or a way of life, tell your story. Risk freeing someone else.” (Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anchor Books, 1994). That is certainly what you have done.
Dayle´s last [type] ..Going Home
Wow, love that Lamott quote!!!!
I’m glad that I came here this afternoon to read this guest post. I love it. It gives me great insight to a writer’s head. Too often, I tend to relate only to the writer’s heart.
I write for my own enjoyment and as a creative outlet for my energy. Frankly, I’m not all that good at the crafty stuff.
I used to dream that I was destined to be a published author and even went so far as to try to publish via the guery letters and all those hoops. It turns out that I wasn’t very good at hoops either. Grin.
Today, I just enjoy writing for pure joy of it and look for God to show me new passions that I never even considered before. There’s a new adventure around every corner.
I’ve already bipped on over to this blog and have enjoyed what I’ve read!
Debbie´s last [type] ..Mr Right
SO true! Yes, I believe I have been called to write. That looks like my pile of books/bible next to my computer!
I cannot possibly tell you how much I adored this post. This is exactly what I needed to read today. (And I loved the line about God using the surrendered pen!)
Flower Patch Farmgirl´s last [type] ..Ashley English Book Reviews -amp gasp- a Giveaway
Glad it blessed, Flow Patch Farmgirl (what a great name!)
What an encouraging post for me! 9 out of the 10 describe me well. I need to deal with the “disciplined and tenacious” part. I love the way you mentor and minister, Mary. God is working powerfully in and through you.
LauraLee Shaw´s last [type] ..Guest Post at Becoming a Christian Womens Speaker
Thanks, that blesses me.
Oh, Mary! I always love reading your writing! I’m always encouraged. I needed this today. I was a little dumpy.
Nine out of the ten points are me as well. Six months after I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2000, the Lord whispered to my heart that He wanted me to write for Him. I was a true fledgling but I obeyed. It is now my passion. If I could not write, I think I would stop breathing.
Thanks, Mary! Be blessed!
Lynn Mosher´s last [type] ..Ah- Peace-
A 9 is a great score!
Thanks, Mary. I can answer all your questions with a yes, except for the discipline part. Working on getting that back in gear.
Marla Taviano´s last [type] ..how we been rollin’
I do! I am feeling especially passionate about it right now! I know that God wants to use my writing to communicate peace to woman in my demographic. I am in the “mom of little ones” (5, 3, and 8 weeks) and feeling more passionate about speaking to moms like me every day. I have been published in this genre, and am working on a manuscript. I feel like God is guiding me with creativity, encouraging bloggers, even a mentor or two in the area. I so appreciate both of you, Mary and Emily. Your gentle, instructive words are encouraging for us aspiring authors!
So glad to hear it, Courtney!
Oh, Mary. Such powerful words from such a wise woman.
I can answer yes to each question except for #8. I’m all too often lazy, undisciplined, and distracted. I’ve found through the years that I can’t NOT write. If I go too long without writing, a miserable tension builds up in me. I’m constantly writing in my mind, but these days with small children and homemaking and local ministry pull me to the edge of exhaustion so that the words in my mind so rarely make it to the page (screen?). So for now, blogging it is. It relieves the pressure, the tension that comes with lack of writing.
Your words here are much needed encouragement and reminder. Calling. I needed that today. Thank you.
Megan@SortaCrunchy´s last [type] ..how to walk like a supermodel
Mary,
Always, always, your words resonate. I miss your blog, but I’m glad I got to read this encouragement today! You are an inspiration to so many–and certainly to this restless wanderer. And Emily, now I remember how I found you–through Mary’s blog!!
Nicole Unice´s last [type] ..Travesty of the Faith 4- Christianese
This was very, very helpful. I look forward to checking out your blog (and reading the blogs of some of those who commented. I bet there’s a wealth of great writing here…)
I got a 10 out of 10 but I struggle with two things.
(1) Living the life that I want to write about takes the bulk of my time, not to mention brain cells. I already get complaints that I don’t update my blog often enough. I am an older mom of many (11) who would love to use whatever talent I have to help younger moms – mostly by showing them how not to follow in my footsteps, but I’m still in the throes of it. I’m assuming your answer would be something along the lines of “Just do it.”
(2) There are SO many good things to read these days, in so many formats – that I wonder if we’re not at the saturation point already. Do I really need to add my voice to the crowd?
thanks again for your wise words.
Mary, you rock.
Aside from the fact that you are a gifted writer that possesses the ability to weave amazing stories that leave me stretched from the inside out, you are also gracious and encouraging.
I appreciate the bread trail you leave for those of us that stand at a crossroad wondering where the path starts.
Blessings to you!
p.s. Scratch the bread trail, make in a rainbow m&m trail…
imoomie´s last [type] ..To Infinity and Beyond…
My boss used to describe me as tenacious. I need to transfer that tenacity to writing now. I’ve realized it’s easy to write when the inspiration hits you, but much harder to commit to writing as a full-time endeavor. God has been speaking to me about moving from an avocational writer to vocational. Today I struggled with discouragement, but your list inspires me to keep going on my “Brighter Walk”! Thanks once again, Mary!
Karyn Brownlee´s last [type] ..Safe in His Arms
I’m SO glad I stopped by. I could say yes, nod in agreement and chuckle at the questions with an comforting sense of familiarity – I am a writer. I always have been. In this season, I’m a songwriter, so the words come out sometimes attached to a melody. My biggest hang-up is just setting aside the time to write – to give myself the space to create. I’ve become increasingly more aware that He’s given me a gift and it’s my privilege to use it and share it. Thanks for the reminder and bless you as you continue to use your gifts for Him. 1 Peter 4:10 ~Mela, 4:10 Ministries