I was painfully shy in early elementary school. As in, other students would talk about how shy I was in front of me, teachers would ask me to speak up because they couldn’t hear me, and I had one friend, Tara Cooper, who was even more shy than me. That was how I would be for the rest of my life as far as I was concerned.
I grew up half a block away from the hospital where I was born. My grandparents house was a mere four minute drive down 17th Street into Hiker Trace, behind Marr Road and Columbus Shopping Center. Every 4th of July the family would gather in their backyard, the grown ups in lawn chairs, my sister and I climbing trees and chasing lightening bugs, always with one eye on the sky above the JC Penny’s parking lot, waiting for it to get dark so the fireworks could start.
But in the fourth grade, our parents let us know that we would be leaving Indiana and moving to Iowa, six hours away from Marr Road and Hiker Trace and Tara Cooper and the McDonalds where I got my first happy meal. And so when I was a girl preparing to leave everything known behind, it seemed the antidote to my fear was courage; courage to say hello even though they already knew each other, to try out even though it seemed like a waste, to walk with my head up through the cafeteria even though I had no place to set my tray. Courage plus a little bit of gumption and a lot of bubbly sweetness made it so that during my teenage years when my family moved to several different states several different times, I was never lacking friends. Back then, courage was enough.
But now? The opposite of fear doesn’t feel so much like courage. It feels bigger, fuller, more important. It feels more like life. When I’m living in fear, I’m barely living. Rather, I’m hiding out, I’m waiting through it, I’m wishing things to be other than what they are. I can’t receive hope, I can’t embrace truth, I can’t feel freedom. I can only cower with my eyes shut tight. I need courage, yes. But when I find it, it feels like so much more than just brave, it feels like living.
To me now, the opposite of fear is life, and grace is the gift that makes it possible to exchange one for the other. What about you? What would you say is the opposite of fear?
i would agree, the opposite of fear is “living.” it’s choosing to embrace life rather than cowering away from it.
one step at a time (one grace at a time), moving, embracing, growing, believing, hoping, overcoming… instead of being paralized by fear.
victory rd.´s last [type] ..hat head
I’m going with your answer. “The opposite of fear is life.” I love the way you put it. I think I might need to put this one on a post-it and plaster it around my world.
p.s. Is that Tara in the picture? Because I think I might have lived her parallel life in neighboring Ohio. I was painfully shy too, and I’m telling you, I had bangs cut the exact same way at that same awkward age, and in more than half of my childhood pictures I can be seen posing in a tree. (I was a bit of a tree climber. I guess the one fear I didn’t have was the fear of heights). Oh, and I totally would’ve wanted to be your best friend.
Jo@Mylestones´s last [type] ..Wasting My Life- One List at a Time
That’s me and Nester in the picture…she’s the one in the tree, I’m the smug one at the bottom.
emily freeman´s last [type] ..31 Days of Grace – day 7 what it feels like
I think the opposite of fear is trust – trust that God knows what He’s doing, that we don’t have to worry that everything will fall apart, trust that God has a plan and it’s a GOOD plan.
That’s very closely related to what you said – when we believe these things, when we trust, we’re free to LIVE life instead of trying to make it fit into our ‘if this doesn’t happen at my time in my way I’ll die’ molds.
Love this series!!
My automatic answer would have been the opposite of fear is courage, but I like your answer better. After all, really living is courageous.
Southern Gal´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday
In order to have courage, you must first have fear! Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it. So for me, the opposite of fear is certainty. If I know it’s coming, I am not afraid. Worried, perhaps, but not afraid!
The Accidental Houewife´s last [type] ..The New House
Trust. When I’m afraid, it’s because I’m not trusting in the One who put the universe in motion and yet sees me and my small world full of struggle and anxiety over both the big and little things. When I’m full of fear, I’m not trusting that He is my help.
Scooper´s last [type] ..The Perfectionists Guide to Domestic Imperfection
I’ve never thought of it this way. But this resonates deeply within me, and my heart wants to jump up and shout yes! The opposite of fear is absolutely and undeniably life. Amen.
Imperfect´s last [type] ..A More Intentional October
I’d say the opposite of fear is freedom…freedom to live my life without hiding in my house afraid of what will happen next. Freedom to know that I know God is in control of EVERYTHING and I am His child…nothing can take that away from me!
allison morrison´s last [type] ..Ah- the simple life
oooo, freedom. I like that, Allison. I vote for that one too.
I believe the opposite of fear is faith. If i am living in fear there is no room for faith. And if i am living each day walking in faith that will not leave room for fear.
Your words reminded me of that passage from I TImothy 6:
8Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.
Lately, the opposite of fear for me has been a vague wish, a hope–I’ve recently identified a certain fear as the thing that has driven my life, and I so want to be free of it. Armed with that knowledge, I’m making progress at getting rid of that fear, and I’m finding so much to take its place. I always thought that the opposite of fear was striving and endurance–head down, feet to the floor, get-through-this kind of endurance. But I think you’re right: the opposite of fear is life. And I think the opposite-of-fear life, the life that is truly life you’re describing is one of freedom and rest.
I thank God for you.
Richella´s last [type] ..Show us your life- the dining room
I like your answer-life. But the other thing that comes to mind is that the opposite of fear is Hope. I can cling to Hope in the darkest of days. Not hope as in “i hope things get better” but Hope in knowing the One in charge, knowing He is Good, knowing He sees me.
dawn´s last [type] ..everyday grace
I’ve been in a battle with fear for awhile – - and I remember in one of Erma Bombeck’s books (when she was fighting cancer) she wrote that sometimes Hope needs to talk louder than fear. And that has become my prayer – that HOPE would talk louder than fear as I walking away from the fear – - one step at a time, Hoping, Trusting, Believing in the ONE who walks with me. Knowing He loves me.
The first thing that came to my mind was 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
I believe that the more we really *get* just how much God loves us, the more willing we become to fearlessly love Him back…and the more we love Him, the less fearful we become, because we know that we are safe in Him, that “there is now therefore NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” and that He will take care of all our needs.
And so I would say that the opposite of fear is Love. But really, this is the same answer as saying that the opposite of fear is life, or the opposite of fear is freedom. Because the more we LET Him love us, the more we can take hold of the abundant life He has for us, and the greater the freedom we find in living life His way instead of ours.
I may just have to ponder on this a while and blog about it myself..which would be good since I haven’t posted an article in months!
Sharon´s last [type] ..Potato Salad Worship
The opposite of fear is life. That’s a powerful statement.
Emily, thank you for being ever-transparent and vulnerable. You are precious!
Yes, the opposites fear are courage, faith, hope, love, trust, and so much more.
For me, lately, it is simply abiding. Abiding in my Savior and Lord. In Him I find The Antithesis of all the opposites of the dark, hard, ‘challenging’ parts of this temporal life.
Keeping my mind on Him…Who freely offers such indescribably unmerited favor!
for me – the opposite of fear is embracing. For me, to fear means to push away, but to not live in fear means to embrace… to embrace what comes, to embrace what is unknown, to embrace the vulnerability, to embrace action and put away paralysis of heart
Jenny´s last [type] ..YOU-create — Prayer Triggers
Fear and love are like light and dark. The one banishes the other, but light is sometimes shot through with shadow. Love sometimes calls forth our fear – because to love and to be loved is to be vulnerable.
I can accept that there are shadows in the light, that light is made more beautiful because of the shadows. I can’t always accept that God is love and that we are to fear God – without terror.
There is a heart-rending tension here that comes from our sin nature. We try to self-protect and cover up, but Proverbs tells us that wisdom begins with the fear of God. It starts knowing we are human, knowing we have sinned and fallen short, and living in that before God who could judge us but doesn’t because He has given that right to Jesus. This is grace.
But this grace came by way of God who IS Love. This same God we fear is Love itself – Himself – who so loved the world that He sent Jesus so we could have eternal life, so that our fears would not be realized, the destruction of our eternal souls. Eternal life, Jesus says in John 17, is “knowing God, and Jesus Christ who He sent.” This is relationship, sought out and facilitated by Love at the Cross.
I think I would have to say that as “light” is the opposite of “dark,” “love” must be the opposite of “fear.” Where fear cripples all life, love enables it.
There is no fear in love. They must be opposites. And it says an awful lot about our very, very courageous God.
Kelly Langner Sauer´s last [type] ..L-A Family – Maternity Session- Waterfront Park- Charleston- SC
oh bother. another book. I should post real today.
Kelly Langner Sauer´s last [type] ..L-A Family – Maternity Session- Waterfront Park- Charleston- SC
The opposite of fear is peace….rest…..confidence. Walking even through the valley of the shadow of death with no worries. Knowing he is with you and that’s all that matters. Receiving HIS perfect love. All of which, is…well, the only life that is truly life. Well said, as usual.
denice´s last [type] ..Midnight Madness
I don’t remember ever seeing that picture before. Only the one with us and Micheal. Jackson.
You are profound today. Well said.
The Nester´s last [type] ..31 Days To a Less Messy Nest Day 7- Laundry
I always think of the verse in 1 John that says “perfect love casts out fear.” As we truly grasp and abide in His love–the undying, relentless love of our Maker–then fear must flee. We cannot live in fear if we believe His love to be the motivation in everything He allows into our lives, for His glory and our good. Great post. (as always.
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lara´s last [type] ..P31P- day 5
hmmm … made me think today – great post!
amanda´s last [type] ..enjoying them
Great post. We were just talking about fear at our youth group last night
Kirstin´s last [type] ..Learning to Use my Camera
“When I’m living in fear, I’m barely living.” Wow! That is painfully powerful. I’ll be thinking about this for a long while.
love your words, as always.
tiny twig´s last [type] ..M31 – Love Husband Well
For me, the opposite of fear is one or more of the following…
knowing that I am safe from whatever harm I was afraid of
knowing that “the monster” I am afraid of is really quite small & nonthreatening
feeling so loved and accepted that “calamity” does not threaten me
getting myself grounded and at peace so that it feels like all is well
Great post!
Jeanine
Jeanine @ Home for Your Soul´s last [type] ..Healing Your Home with the Medicine Wheel- Part One
If you are talking about Columbus ,IN , then I grew up about 30 minutes from you in North Vernon. Born at that same hospital. I probably played with you at the Commons Mall at some point. (remember the tunnel you could crawl into?)
Funny how those years shape us.
Loving this series!
Stacey´s last [type] ..Odds and Ends
That photo makes me smile the biggest smile ever. I mean – it’s childhood in a photo. And you two are every bit as cute then as you are now. And you and I share that other thing, too – we both did a stint in Bettendorf. Small world, huh?
Your words are profound. Your gift for words is humbling.
darcy @ m3b´s last [type] ..The Exposure Triangle Day 8
YES!
The opposite of fear IS LIFE because with fear you can’t live. and without Jesus, you can’t be free of fear. This is my story. This is what I’m living.
JoAnn´s last [type] ..My First Guest Post and A Place You MUST Go
i love this reminder emily. there have been times in my life when my fears , when i allow my fears, to take over. i don’t live during that time either. i wait it out. i’ve never thought if it that way but it’s so true. when i’m in a place of ‘everything being all aok’ i think …wow, this feels great. great to not be in the fear tunnel. i hope one day to feel that when something arrises, FEAR takes the backseat to my living
i love your words
paige´s last [type] ..how bout them dawgs & more
I am always blown away at how you recall such details of your life, simply amazing
My head nods up and down, and my soul soaks in the deepth of truth in this…just lovely.
imoomie´s last [type] ..Fourteenth Year…
This is an awesome post. It makes so much sense, but what I’ve been trying to figure out is HOW to stop the fear and live life more?
Our Nifty Notebook´s last [type] ..Halloween Mantle Party