It was a day of quiet, a party tailor made for introverts, our own idea of best-day-ever. The kids were with my parents, and so I had hours all to myself. I forget how much I need it, the time. The quiet. The space.
I don’t know how it is with you, but with me it is like this: I put a lot of pressure on alone. Maybe it’s because I spend so much time craving it, and so when it comes, I try to suck the life right out of it. I fail to let it breathe, when breathing is the very thing I need. I thought of the coming year, how it’s always the same but so different. I had planned to spend the time planning and praying about what lies ahead, about things that have me twisted up and anxious and unfree.
Finally, I surrendered to the quiet. Instead of planning and dealing with issues, I spent some time reading. I read Colossians, and a post by my friend who is pregnant and waiting, and a little bit of The War of Art. I read some Seth, some Edie, and a bit of my own book that hasn’t come out yet. And before I knew it, I was pulling my coat on over my sweatshirt and heading out into the woods near our house.
And in what my husband called a beautiful waste of time, I walked. And listened. And captured the day happening around me. God stands on his head, you know. Just when I think I finally have time to figure things out, he quiets me instead. Just when I think it’s my chance to pour out, I realize I have nothing I need to say. 
There can be fear in that place, fear that the time you finally have is spilling through your fingers without a single minute counting because you haven’t written a goal, haven’t solved a problem, haven’t strung one word into two. But there is comfort in knowing that as I walk, He walks with me. He reminds me that it isn’t about my dealing with my problems, it is about remembering that he has already dealt with them. It’s about the knowing and the believing and the receiving of truth.
As this year quietly blends into the next this weekend, I pray that we would find permission to be with our Creator. Not necessarily for hours on end, but for time enough to push through the shame of inactivity that threatens to overwhelm when we let ourselves be still. And in that place of quiet existence, I pray for you to be overwhelmed with a sense of your own belovedness. Thank you for chatting with me here in this space for yet another year. May the new year bring more beautiful conversation, and may the Lord provide you a spacious place for your soul to breathe.
Beautifully written. Happy New Year!
Thanks, I haven’t been reading for very long, but have enjoyed the time I have spent here.
Charming’s Mama´s last [type] ..Peace on Earth
This is beautiful. Thank you for reminding me to just be.
May this new year fill you with peace and joy beyond your wildest dreams.
giving myself permission….happy you gave some to yourself and shared:)
to the new year
xo
Tiffini´s last [type] ..Cleaning House
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post with us.
Sigh… You speak into a heart that hasn’t been alone for a while. I am craving that quiet…
Kelly Sauer´s last [type] .. A Restless Heart What Life Is
awesome post! funny, i just wrote something kinda similar…so important to take the time to stop, reflect, listen…
thanks for your post! love your blog!
sara´s last [type] ..Oreo Truffles
i’ve scored some of that alone time today. i’m glad you wrote, because i’ve been berating myself for not writing lesson plans, working on national boards….think i’ll lean into it instead.
kendal´s last [type] ..gates
This was just beautiful Emily. Exactly what I needed today. Pictures for my soul and words for my heart. Thank you.
Mike agrees about the beautiful waste of time . . . yesterday at the end of the day he said, “It’s so great that we’ve had this time sitting in the big chair!” And I do feel better today. I did some reading myself, and some resting. It was really nice.
Kari´s last [type] ..wait in hope
Ah, what a beautiful reminder. Thank you =) I needed permission to simply BE.
Beautifully said!
~B.´s last [type] ..A Fresh Start
I need that prayer. I was thinking yesterday about spending such and such amount of time alone in the mornings. Doing this for that amount of time and that for a few minutes. Then it hit me. He wants me to come to Him and just be still. I like being alone, but have a hard time being still and quiet. You’ve revealed another part to the equation for me. Spaciousness for just breathing. Happy New Year to you and yours, Emily. Thank you for THIS place.
Southern Gal´s last [type] ..These Guys
So beautiful… those moments where we can just quietly be with our Lord are so worthy of being cherished. I too have found myself reflecting these past few days on how much potential for change there is in our lives if we just take the time to quietly listen to Him.
Beautiful! I just love coming here. I always find peace and rest!
Love,
Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations
Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations´s last [type] ..Stay In Your Pajamas Today!
This is such a beautiful post and amazing photography. I love the one where the snow looks like a dove! That’s amazing.
Happy New Year, Emily! Every year I take some time in the last few days of the year to plan for the next year, to pray about everything, to get ahead of the game. But this year is different. I find myself not reaching for impossible goals, but simply seizing each moment as it comes. I like the peace it brings.
Beautiful Emily!
I am looking forward to get outside for a few hours tomorrow. I will be with family a good bit of the time, but will try to sneal off for a few minutes by myself!
Bernice
Living the Balanced Life´s last [type] ..The year 2010- what DID work
such beautiful sentiments, emily – your experience reminds me of the old hymn, “In the Garden”…
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known
OH!~ That was beautiful & awesome…as always! Happy New Year to you!
Mrs.B´s last [type] ..Melted Snowman Cookies Bandwagon
He is ever the same and never the same – and I’m glad he stood on his head for you.
I said something like this on your sister’s site, and I mean it even more today – that this is a miraculous community of love that you amazing Christian women have created on the web. This map crossing, spirit filled, bonded sisterhood of which I can only be a spectator. I found it by mistake and only now, after months of reading, and Edie, am just beginning to understand.
I thank you for letting me “speak my mind” here all these months. I am inspired every time I read.
God Bless and keep you and yours.
So beautifully said Emily. I spent the better half of this year feeling so inadequate to do the things the Lord called me to do this year & it crippled me with fear for the longest time. I wasn’t until I had to have that “face to face” moment with God that He breathed new life in me & helped me to see how far I’d already come but just grew weary from the journey. “What a beautiful collision it is when our depravity meets His divinity.” I lived by that line from one of my favorite songs
Here’s hoping that your 2011 is abundantly full of Him & blessed. Take care!
Ok, this is just beautiful and one of my favorite things to read today. Thank you for that. I too, need the peace to feel His presence and to remember His love. What a wonderful reminder. Thank you for sharing.
pattyann´s last [type] ..Christmas Weekend
Thank you, Emily. You make the 2nd “youngster”
to insist I give myself “permission” in the last couple days. I was so upset that I was so behind on life, that I hadnt accomplished even the”wanna-do’s” for Mom&Dad for the holidays (and Mom’s 89th bday is a week away). And after Sara’s fiance took me to the PainCenter & we picked her up from work, she asked me if I was going to rest,read&stay off my busted knee. I gave her the rundown of gotta-do’s&bemoaned the wanna-do’s, and she put her arms around me &said “we all need you-why won’t you ever rest? You have to heal! All of you!” and you are both right. I need to be quiet. Heal my mind. Heal what’s left of the ol’ body. And let Him heal my heart&soul. I promise–i will breathe. -s-
I loved this post. Today, my husband gifted me with “time alone.” He took my three kids out to lunch and roller skating. I, too, panicked at the thought of hours upon hours of being alone…for fear I wouldn’t spend the time wisely. I wrote a little. Read a little. Walked outside for an hour. Took my time taking a shower. Lit candles. It was nice.
When it was over, I wondered if I had been a good steward of my gift. My gift of time. And then I came across your post. Thanks for being God’s voice to me today.
Blessings!
Sandy
Sandy Cooper´s last [type] ..Guest Post- Restoring Your Faith During a Financial Crisis
I am new to your blog, but I love it. Thank you.
you have been given such a beautiful way with words….
I always leave here refreshed and more in love with God…..
what a testament to the space here in blogland that you hold…
I’ve enjoyed this post more than I can say. I often long for quite time/alone time only to realize I’ve been busy doing something useful to avoid my self-imposed guilt. I’ve also borrowed the last three sentences to use on my vanity mirror and I sure hope you don’t mind.
Josie
I so often have to remind myself to stop doing, solving, working, planning and just BE in God’s presence. Thanks for this sweet reminder.
Fondly,
Glenda
Glenda Childers´s last [type] ..The Oscar for best Christmas Wrap goes to DAVE
simply beautiful emily …
tracie @ {tsj} photography´s last [type] ..handmade christmas
Your title says, “a place for your soul to breathe” and breathe it did while reading and looking at your beautiful photos you took in the woods! Happy New YEar! God BLess! Karyne
Oh, I love this post. “Just when I think its my chance to pour out, I realize I have nothing I need to say.” and “the shame of inactivity” – you are hitting multiple nails on the head for me! I know just what you mean, and isn’t it lovely to realize that sometimes God just wants us to be quiet. Still. Thank you for that reminder, and may you have a happy new year.
a beautiful waste of time, space for souls to breath…i love your way with words. lovely.
suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter}´s last [type] ..2010- a bloggy retrospective link your best-of posts
I know what you mean about building up that quiet time. I crave it and feel like when it comes I need to do so much in it. Really, all I need is time alone with Him. Thank you for the reminder, the pictures and the beauty.
You’re always such an encouragement, Emily.
Melissa Brotherton´s last [type] ..Thoughts from the Pot- The Random Musings of a Husband
I just subscribed during the “30 days” series and have really enjoyed having your little posts of grace and quiet and belovedness waiting in my inbox most mornings. I tend to get up & start with the computer even when my soul longs for time alone with the Lord. So this gives me a minute to stop, be quiet, think and refocus my morning. Even with cartoons playing in the background. Thank you!
I am really thankful for your post today…for your obedience to just go with God in the quiet moments instead of doing what you thought you should. I hate it when I force what I “should” do over what God invites me to do. Or when I become paralyzed and do nothing. Following is hard. Thank you for modeling it today!
Blessings and joy to you in 2011,
Linsey
I didn’t realize this about myself for a long time, that I needed alone time. Charlie was the one that pointed it out to me one day, commenting that he often didn’t know what to do with himself when I wasn’t home, but that I needed that time. Even when we were planning today, he said he had to go put in a few hours at work even though it was his normal day off. But he smiled at me and said he knew I wouldn’t mind because I probably needed a few hours alone after such a busy holiday. It’s funny how I didn’t realize that about myself. I love that you went out with your camera and captured the moments.
i really need an end of the year walk. maybe today. i don’t even have to be alone as long as i’m outside and walking it does my soul good.
melissa stover´s last [type] ..Christmas vacation
The daily grind slowly places layers of whispers: “do more to be more”. When I break away to alone time and silence, I realize the beauty around me speaks louder: “you don’t need to be more. just be loved more.” When I’m in white space, I allow however I am in the moment to seep out. Sometimes blue, sometimes bright, sometimes close, sometimes not. It doesn’t matter what. What matters is I am here and so is He. I take my camera too — and I get lost in the pictures.. because I see beauty more closely (and not the dishes, the to do list, the computer screen, the piles of things I need to clean up!)
Thank you for a wonderful year of chatting at the sky and quietly clasping your pinky around ours. As you are. Thank you for sharing you. You are loved, Emily.
Faith Barista Bonnie´s last [type] ..The Best of Faith Barista 2010- The Top Ten
Thank you for sharing. I too love and crave silence and solitude. So Amen, Amen and Amen. In the New Year, may you know God’s presence in specials ways, may He bestow on you much wisdom for your own life’s journey and to share with others who will be traveling their own paths.
Sounds absolutely wonderful.
I love coming here, Emily. It quiets my soul just to read your words. I look forward to seeing how the Lord uses my moments of inactivity (when I can find them) in 2011. : )
Heathahlee´s last [type] ..Recovery
I’m finally coming to embrace the virtues of stillness and rest and listening. And I’m slowly learning because of a few likeminded sisters {like you} who think and write about it. It’s one of my resolutions actually and I’m hoping for a realignment of priorities in which the unnecessary doing trickles further down the list to its rightful place and the necessary listening and quiet moves further up the list to its rightful place.
This post spoke to my heart. May your new year be one of some much-needed soul space. : )
Scooper´s last [type] ..On Leading
Oooh gorgeous pictures! I hope you have a blessed year
By the way, be sure to enter my CSN stores giveaway:
http://lovelylittlenest.blogspot.com/2011/01/csn-giveaway-happy-new-year.html
Have a great weekend!
I just found your site (through Gussy) and WOW. I held my breath while reading this. I so crave alone time and then when I get it I have 42million things I have to do and I often end up just feeling tired and like I wasted it. This was such a beautiful reminder of how time alone, basking in the glory of our Father and His infinite wisdom, is most often exactly what we need.
Thank you.
Heidi´s last [type] ..no plans
Thanks so much for this good word! Amen, amen, amen, says the pregnant lady who still can’t convince herself that chilling out is okay at 33 weeks!
Caroline@carolinecollie´s last [type] ..The Best of 2010
Emily,
I adore you and reading your blog. Thank you for letting me come and take a moment to reflect. Your words are beautifully written and music to my soul. So thank you for gracing me with your words and look forward to reading in 2011.
oh emily… “God stands on his head”… love this line. love the quiet, the holy worship in your words. the way you accepted the gift of time. thank you for your encouraging words on my blog, sister.
in the hush of the moon´s last [type] ..read the stories- he says
thanks for those words emily. i so needed to read that this morning.
Kimber-Leigh´s last [type] ..New Years Eve
perfectly said, emily. love those moments of quiet. it’s time to really relish in them!
annie´s last [type] ..for edie
I do hope that all of us will have a successful 2011 year. Let the person above be our guidance in every step that we will be making to change our lives.
Samantha Dermot´s last [type] ..Causes Of Teeth Grinding
I followed the post on facebook leading me to your blog. I am loving everything i am reading. You are very gifted. Your words read like a beautiful song to the Lord. Thank you & I cannot wait to read more.
Emily, I love this post. Just read it today. 1-12-11. And it was God’s perfect timing to speak directly to me. Reminding me how much He loves our stillness together and put a craving in my heart for more of it.
You are precious to me.
Thank you for your words.
Your heart.
And sharing your testimony in the sweetest ways.
Awe! I’m so glad I found you. Your words soothe; He shines thru you. Thanks so much!
Reese´s last [type] ..5 minute Friday
Thanks for re-sharing this in your post today. I needed it. I need a walk… one that is a “beautiful waste of time”
I cried reading this. Last year and just now.
(I so much appreciate you.)
This was truly beautiful Emily. Tears flowed as I read your words. Your words hit home to me in ways you will never imagine. Just know that you have touched my heart and my soul tonight. I was meant to find this post tonight.
I needed to find a place of inspiration and you gave me that gift. Thank you dear friend.
You have eased aome of my hurts and doubts!!! That is a treasure!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my friend!
Love…….Sally