Everyday lately, I think about quitting. I think about finishing this second book I’m contracted for, and being done with writing forever. I think about shutting down the blog, closing down the Twitter account, and burning my laptop. I would be free of the critics, especially the ones who live in my head, but also the ones I imagine who exist out there, invisible, waiting for my book to come out so they can hate it and tell me so.
I’m not going to quit. But I still think about it, because it’s been one of those the-kids-have-all-been-sick, the-dog-chewed-up-the-couch, I-cried-myself-to-sleep weeks. And when those weeks come, quitting the art feels like the answer, because the art is the optional thing, right? And I shouldn’t spend time on the art when all this serious living needs to get done.
I think about the mystery – Christ in you, the hope of glory – and I hear myself pray out loud in the car, Lord, show me the mystery. Remind me. What should I do differently?
I listen quiet for an answer. He offers love instead.
He does not manage me, to-do list me, or bullet point me. He loves me. Is with me. And believing Him feels impossible, until I do, like a miracle, like luke-warm water turning merlot red right there in the cup. And then I sense the hope again. Because – oh yeah – God doesn’t tell me what to do, he invites me into what he has done. That’s why there’s freedom, even in the blah. Hope, even in the dark. Love, even in the fear. Trust, even though the critics. And believing in the midst of all that? It feels like flowing skirts and wildflower spinning; it feels risky and brave and underdog winning. It feels like redemption. It feels like art.
Yep, I think it is important to remember that all of us feel like quiting from time to time. None of us can really do it on our own. We all need Him. Sometimes, when the trials are the hardest, and you want to quit the most, if you just hold on for a while, the rewards will come. He knows what we need and He knows when we need it. May you feel His blessings in your life today.
Pattyann´s last [type] ..Sunday Devotional – Service
…and when quitting seems like the momentary answer, isn’t it because – truly – there must something great just over the horizon? A mystery waiting to unfold.
Theresa´s last [type] ..Guest-blogging today
Amen! That’ll preach.
Mystery solved….Christ IN YOU the hope of Glory. He is in us. We are in Him. Praise God. We can rest.
Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)
28 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. 29 Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 30 Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
I’ve noticed the puking-my-guts-fear or the I-wrote-that-what-was-I-thinking? belly aching knots have been the words I needed to say, perhaps the words someone needed to hear, and it cost something but I feel it also reaps dividends in the Spirit. Multiplies in ways we can’t imagine and only God can and He’s able to take these broken clays and be the Potter which molds are weak self’s and are even weaker/fearful words and yes, our art.
Tammy@If Meadows Speak…´s last [type] ..Often Change Comes-5 minute challenge
You are just so priceless…Everything you said ‘made my soul breathe’…honestly. truly. I couldn’t describe this season better for myself either…the art being ‘faith’ itself…not whether Jesus is real and or if I will be with Him forever, but the things He is calling me to now–moving overseas, writing about it when I want to run, thanking Him and being a source of strength and calm for my family…
And I absolutely am hugged tight with His love and precious encouragement that you and Ann both expressed similar things that speak right to that weary place…’How to Live Fulfilled’ on Friday…did you read it?
And I say to you what I just can’t stop saying/knowing deep: ‘the BEST IS YET TO COME!’…and from His heart, ‘You, beautiful are priceless:)’
Abby´s last [type] ..First Flight…and First Steps
This is just so exactly what I needed to read right at this moment.
I love this line in your post: I listen quiet for an answer. He offers love instead. It is easy to go from overwhelmed to being at peace when you know that the Creator is with you. That Christ is in you. And that He loves you.
David Willis´s last [type] ..It has been almost 13 years…
Thank you for not giving up Emily. I’ve needed your art.
bek´s last [type] ..2011365-37-43
I’m currently applying for my overseas missions internship and this post is exactly what I needed to hear. This application process has been the most frustrating, disappointing, time-consuming, complicated task I’ve had to do in awhile. Sometimes I feel myself getting so discouraged by the looming passport renewal, visa application and training that I forget this internship is all about spreading the Gospel and glorifying God. I’ve wanted to give up so many times in the past couple months but each time God has reminded me what this whole process is about Him not me. Thank you so much for your post. I hope you don’t quit because I immensely enjoy your blog and would severely miss it.
-Tiffany
I am not a missionary or an artist or doing anything special like you…but I am overwhelmed right now with life..grown up kids coming back home…one going out …a favour to be performed that takes time and a big effort…promises to be kept …and everyday life crowding in too. I just need the love of God right now too…just need to know that I’m part of that loving picture you paint. I know the theory..I need the reality of hope and love and believing right now.
Naturally Carol´s last [type] ..Im Grateful for Red!
“God doesn’t tell me what to do, he invites me into what he has done.” freedom! love this post.
kendal´s last [type] ..on comments lost and virgil unveiled
That was perfect for me today. How do you always read my heart?
Christine Hoover´s last [type] ..Plan A
I just started blogging but those imaginary critics kept me from starting for years. How freeing it is to let it be – art – and to let it be liked or hated but still to let it be out there for God! That is true freedom.
Misty´s last [type] ..Sunday Soup Night Chicken Wild Rice Soup
What Kendal said!
It’s all His dance. We just need to see where to jump in.
Thanks Emily!
Shayne´s last [type] ..The Octopus Game
Your writing always seem to find me where I am.
shannon´s last [type] ..love letter from my husband
Thank you Shannon. I’m so very glad.
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
Quitting is the lie, isn’t it? A “Did God really say….” moment crisis of belief.
I love this “Believing Him seems impossible, until I do.”
stacey´s last [type] ..Multitude Monday
And ah, that quitting– it is seductive, because it is control. So much easier to accept than to sink into that LOVE and receive it.
Missy K´s last [type] ..Good Things Unhurried
Yes! I love how you say that – quitting is control. That’s good…
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
i am so glad that you don’t quit! and, sometimes, don’t you feel like the most meaningful creating comes after you’ve pushed through that?
ellen´s last [type] ..how to- a flanged envelope style pillow cover
Ellen – I do. It’s true what you say – it means more when it doesn’t come easy.
Oh wow. Yes. That last gorgeous paragraph of yours sang me awake this morning. Thank you.
Jo@Mylestones´s last [type] ..She is the Sane One Who Chooses to Skip
Artists are rarely understood… but they draw and paint and write anyway… because deep in their hearts, beyond their inner critic, they know they are leaving a legacy here on earth that steps beyond logic into the deep places where transformation can be sparked into being.
So glad you are an artist… so glad you keep writing… and we are here to pray you through the rough patches with the critics
I love this post, Emily. I am so right in this space with you. I’m in the midst of writing my new book [for the 2nd time], and I have never wanted to quit anything more in my life. What you said here resonated somewhere deep in my heart. Thanks.
Loved these lines of reminder: “He does not manage me, to-do list me, or bullet point me. He loves me. Is with me. And believing Him feels impossible, until I do, like a miracle, like luke-warm water turning merlot red right there in the cup. And then I sense the hope again.” You write the truth and it finds me in the deep places. He just loves me. You. Us. He loves. Thank you, Emily.
Emily, this hit me right where I am – sick kids, second book, sleepless nights – I can relate. Thanks for your words – I love the bit about God not telling me what to do, but instead inviting me to be part of what He’s doing – wow, that is great perspective!! Again, I’m grateful He’s not allowing you to quit, but at the same time I greatly appreciate your honesty! Wonderful to know I’m not alone!! Blessings, Jill
Jill´s last [type] ..The Power of Words a Give-Away!
I read the devotion by Renee at P31. Love your story of hope, Jill. Thanks for stopping by…
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
Look at all the encouragement sent in these comments. You were honest and then blessed by your friends. This is good reminder to me. Too often when discouraged I withdraw and keep to myself. There is strength and encouragement in community.
Oh, yes. This was one of those posts that made me wake up with the sweats this morning. You know, when you wish you hadn’t said anything – but you’re right about sharing the honest. It helps to lift the darkness a bit to let others in. This community here is such a gift, and I am so thankful.
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
Thanks so much for your words. I begin to doubt that art is worthy in my world when there are so many other ” important” things to do. I have quit many times before out of fear and discouragement but realize that I’m just back to the same place over and over again. I needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Had a huge disappointment waiting in my email box this morning. Thank you for slowing me down and reminding us it is about God and His invitation, not about us and what we try to do in His name.
Because quitting always seems to be the answer (the enemy and our flesh says so).
He is with us – one (sometimes painful) step @ a time.
Good word today!
Do I really, really need to say it? The part about “are you living my life?” Or am I living yours? *looks both ways* I always suspected I might have a twin…
Thanks for being you this morning. It’s really, really good to not feel so alone today. Oh, and Happy Valentine’s day! We’re putting ours off a week b/c we’re still sick. I hope you guys have a good one, though, in spite of the sick!
Kelly Sauer´s last [type] ..Fambly Sick – and Some Sharing
Thank you Emily. There was one sentence here that really spoke to my heart…. “Because – oh yeah – God doesn’t tell me what to do, he invites me into what he has done.”
I’m struggling with what He wants me to do. Not out of disobedience but because it’s a God-sized dream and what if it’s not from Him? or not for me? Maybe it’s another plan that will fail.
After reading this post I’m thinking – “Oh yeah – I believe He is inviting me to do this thing. It’s a good thing. He will make it what He desires it to be.”
Thanks again for being real in your own struggle and inspiring by sharing what the Lord is speaking to you.
Those God-sized dreams are the scariest, aren’t they? I hear you this morning, Debbie. I’m so glad you are encouraged.
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
Please don’t quit.
And about those critics. The ones in your mind are probably much bigger than any you will ever experience when your book comes out. Instead, you are going to be so glad for all that it took to write it when the droves start contacting you and thanking you for writing exactly what they live each day. Stock up on Kleenex, girl!
Bonita´s last [type] ..My Daughter the Writer
Never give up art just because of all the Have-To’s and Must-Do’s!
I always remember, “He makes me to lie in green pastures. He restores my soul.” In other words, God wants us to find a thing of beauty that restores our soul. In the context of art, He has given each of us the urge to be artistic. It’s the green pasture God calls each of us to spend time in.
My sewing room is the green pasture that restores my soul. Spending time sewing (my form of art), is what rejuvinates and re-energizes me and provides the break I need so that I can return fully to the Have-To’s and Must-Do’s.
“even in the blah. Hope, even in the dark. Love, even in the fear. Trust, even though the critics.” These words make for an excellent prayer Emily – thank you for them. And I just prayed them for you – ad loved them so much I prayed them for me too.
These were good words to hear today.
This whole series on art has been a blessing.l
God Bless and Keep you and yours
Craig´s last [type] ..Love – The Lost Journals of St Valentine part 4
Quit…just try it. Pretend for a day or a week that you aren’t going to write anymore. You’ll be back.
Tracey´s last [type] ..A Party For My Love
how right you are!
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
I have to say, I feel like quitting lately, too. I just said to my husband last night, with a big sigh, “Oh the daily grind. I just don’t know about it all anymore…” It was a world-weary and defeated statement. So yes, this post gives me great hope and peace this morning. Thank you.
Instead, print all those critical comments/reviews and burn them.
Guaranteed to make you feel better.
)
Nikole Hahn´s last [type] ..Taking Notes Sunday- Glory and Brokenness
Dear Emily, it’s ok to want to quit. I tried it once myself, many moons ago. After three miserable months, I came up with the same conclusion as Isaac Asimov when he said, “I write for the same reason I breathe–because if I didn’t, I would die.” And I have a feeling you’d come to the same conclusion mighty fast. You have loads of talent, Emily, and the world needs to hear your voice. Stir up that gift, and have an extra special kind of day.
Dayle´s last [type] ..The Day I Ran Away From Home – A Love Story
I think sometimes we have to come to the end of ourselves just to be reminded that we are not *supposed* to be doing this alone. We need His help, we need His guidance, we need His love. We just need to know He is there and will be there, especially during the crazy weeks like the one you had last week!
Hugs to you Emily!
And thank you for being transparent!
Bernice
Living the Balanced Life´s last [type] ..A lucky winner and more!
I really do hope that you don’t quit writing. I am sure that it can be unnerving waiting for your book to come out, but there are always critics. It is what they do for a living. I love your writing!!! When I finish reading your post I feel loved. You write with so much love. You don’t get tell us what we should do – you just tell us where you are. Obviously I am not a writer, but I wanted you to know how much I love, and look forward, to your writing.
Emily, I am so glad that God keeps you moving….cause reading what He puts on your heart is one of the things that keeps me moving!
That last paragraph is completely magical. I want to read it a few times. And I suspect it will leave me smiling every time.
Shelley.´s last [type] ..some other beginnings end
Why does art get the reputation for being optional or for not being a “good” career? I often wonder what my life would look like if I’d continued taking art classes in college or if I’d really, truly studied writing instead of thinking and hearing that I could never do either as a career. That’s in the past though and writing continues to call to me. Even on the days when I question my sanity for putting myself out there and when my parents are silent when I share my dream of being published and when it seems like never trying would be better than trying and failing, still I will write. Because it’s no longer optional and because God has given me a voice that must be heard.
HopefulLeigh´s last [type] ..Almost Valentine
I know – I don’t know what it is about art that makes it feel indulgent. Maybe because it’s so enjoyable? It seems like we’re taught, somewhere along the way, that work is not supposed to be enjoyable. how sad that is!
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
This is so true. So thankful you are able to put these thoughts and feelings into words so perfectly.
Melissa Lewis – Midwest Magnolia´s last [type] ..Is Love All You Need
My art has definitely been surrounded by worry and fretting the past several weeks. It seems like the enemy is trying to destroy any desire I have for it. I love that last paragraph!
Heathahlee´s last [type] ..Tassel Giveaway!
I love your art~thank you.
Mrs.B´s last [type] ..Love Story
I feel as though you are my own person “cheerleader” Emily. I am right there with you – minus the book contract and sick children…oh and no dog either. But there is other stuff, and I have felt like chucking the whole blogging, writing, business. Thank you for putting it into perspective. What powerful, uplifting, true words!
Linda´s last [type] ..Hes In the Circumstances – Gratitude
This post…powerful. I read it this morning and I can’t tell you how badly I needed this truth. Thank you. And as one of the critics who lives outside your head, I am 100% sure that I will love the book. Because if it’s anything like the stuff you write here, I will gush and nod my head and tell you like I always do, “I feel like you wrote this just for me!” {And happy Valentines’ Day!}
Scooper´s last [type] ..A Love Story
I think that’s a bit of the fear. Because the book is actually not so much what I write here. It’s deeper. It’s more vulnerable. It’s more heady, at least it is to me. It’s still me, but its not Chatting at the Sky. Still, it is what I was to write. I can’t wait to share it.
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
Okay, now I’m even more excited to read it. I love deep and heady…it tends to be where I camp out. And no, I don’t just say that to make you feel better. But I think those of us who have “known” you through your blog for a long time have a glimpse into your soul and the truth that you write here. I know this book comes from your soul, that it is your message even if it feels different and deeper than what we read here. I’m so happy you were brave enough to write it.
Scooper´s last [type] ..A Love Story
Thanks, Scooper. So much.
Emily´s last [type] ..for when you feel like quitting
emily,
thank you so much for this post. i can’t tell you how much i needed to hear this tonight. i am in a difficult season right now in my parenting…seems to be a battle at every turn right now. and i seriously feel like giving up at times. obviously i can’t quit being a mommy, but i want to quit the fight. i want EASE. i want my teen to love me all the time and know that i’m for her, yet, she can’t see it right now. and i want to give up, because i’m tired of the fight. but this post was a sweet reminder….God invites us into what He has already done.that he is here with me and he is for me and my daughter. no matter how hard the battle is. and that once i chose to believe that he is for me, i will find strength …..ahhhh……. thank you so much for letting the Lord use you to speak to this hurting heart tonight.
~patty
patty´s last [type] ..Where does my help come from
Patty – I am right there with you in that parenting journey….just don’t want the fight…just want it to be easy and to not care about their choices, but in the end…looking so far down the road, it’ll be worth it. I know that and cling to the Father’s encouragement and truth in that as well.
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam)´s last [type] ..Mega Swagbucks Friday – earn free bucks
I am so often a quitter – or at least I feel like I am. It’s nice to know that those feelings are not just ones I have! Don’t you love it when someone else is transparent, when they are willing to admit their frailties – Thank you for that. It allows other to admit their own, and to feel less alone, and how beautiful the world would be if we weren’t trying so hard to be what we think people will like, for our true selves in Christ are so much more beautiful!! I love reading your blog!
thank you for your bravery and raw honesty. i hear you. ill be praying.
typical — AND POWERFUL — these, your words: “God doesn’t tell me what to do, he invites me into what he has done.” He offers the invitation and floods the space with His power. power to move into places that i have before run from. this will be my story on wednesday as i embark — only in the power of the One who called me — to walk along with … dare i say, “lead”?? … five women through a season at the feet of Jesus. i tremble in anticipation at how He will be KNOWN! your words today are courage. thank you.
adornedlife´s last [type] ..offering
YOU are supposed to be doing this.
I worry about my attitude. I feel like quitting. I feel like it’s too much responsibility, especially on my bad attitude days. today the sun came out and I remembered joy and found art in my flowerbed. Thanks for the encouragement. I’m busy praying that I have the right attitude, because this word business can be scary, and what if I speak untruth, poison words? TRUST. You said it friend.
JoAnn´s last [type] ..Gratitude Number 307- Romance from Heaven
It seems like on the days I say, “That’s it! I’m done-finished-over…” He steps in and says, “good, now it’s finally My turn.”
Yesterday I read this post and kept the window open to read again later.
Then all hell broke loose here, and I’m in a storm of hurt that leaves me desperate and crushed. And then it got worse from there.
And I read this again.
And I’m hanging on these words:
“God doesn’t tell me what to do, he invites me into what he has done. That’s why there’s freedom, even in the blah. Hope, even in the dark. Love, even in the fear. Trust, even through the critics.”
Please don’t ever quit.
Your not quitting gave me the courage to not quit this morning.
Joy´s last [type] ..valentines 2011
Oh Joy – I don’t know what it is that has you broken. But I pray peace all over you today. Thank you for encouraging me in the midst of your most difficult moments…
It’s so refreshing to read as someone else articulates that feeling that all of us so often have-of wanting to give up or avoid it or just not have to face it…whatever the IT is. All of these comments of encouragement are so thoughtful and uplifting, specifically to you for your circumstances, but also for everyone who’s reading because we can see that there are so many who sometimes feel lost and lacking the motivation to stick to “it.”
There’s nothing quite like knowing that you’re not alone to put things into perspective.
Thanks for sharing this, especially in light of your retrospective reluctance!
Tracy´s last [type] ..Happy Valentines Day!
Oh, Chatty Emily–thank you for coming to visit me! How I have missed your words of inspiration during this crazy busy time of my life. So glad to see that you’re still finding joy in the everyday. Though our circumstances are very different, our underlying need for strength beyond our own is very much the same. When things slow down in May, you can count on me to be a daily commenter again. Until then, thanks for the pick me up
.
All the best to you!
Glad you aren’t quitting. Beautiful words in this post. It touched my heart.
Esther´s last [type] ..Tough Love
Thanks for that inspired post. It was so encouraging & just what I needed to hear.
Linda´s last [type] ..Love
I rarely find time to read blogs but I chose to read Ann’s today (when you need a bit of stress relief…) and she linked to yours–God knew just what I needed (from both of you!) to get me thru the rest of today. Reading this post has brought me to tears–of relief and gratitude in my great big Abba!!! I am always amazed at how ‘normal’ I am, and I love what one other reader wrote: quitting is the control. So true! I really agree! And it seems another way the ‘deceiver’ lies to me is to tell me that I am the ‘only one’ with problems or the ‘only one’ who seems to fail at….anything–mothering, wife-ing, home-schooling, life! But how encouraged was I to read that YOU even want to quit! I go thru that almost daily, but praise God for a new perspective! Thank you for sharing your heart with us!!!
Holy wow, Emily. Amazingly well crafted. It feeds my idea of getting normal people anonymous off the ground. Because all my regular, day to day the boys gave steep throat for the third time in 3 months stuff seems to steal the creative from my soul. I just look up from the grindstone of daily life and I’ve got nothing.
But maybe the mystery us what keeps the idea coming back to the front of my heart… Talking about it and getting excited and scared and ready tkogo all over again…
Please keep going…you are a necessary part of my journey.
*blessings*
“everyday lately, I think about quitting. I think about finishing this second book I’m contracted for, and being done with writing forever. I think about shutting down the blog, closing down the Twitter account, and burning my laptop.”
okay so i am NOT the only one that feels this? honestly, no matter how “well” things are going there are days i just want to be DONE.
i’ve had this article in my tabs for a few days to read and sat down today – as i read your words i was reminded why i don’t. that He is greater and has a purpose for me. and what a reminder. i needed it so and i thank you for not quitting.
xoxo
Yet another post that seems tuned to my own heart. I feel like quitting all the time…especially the blogging. So much left undone at the end of every day. But God keeps saying STAY…for now anyway. Praying I’ll hear His voice above all the others.
Peace to you today,
Linsey
LLH Designs´s last [type] ..Wine- Chocolate A Winning Pillow Fight
Beautiful truth. Thanks for expressing with vulnerability. Makes me feel as if I am not the only one.
tracey´s last [type] ..love- beach
Oh I SO get it!!! Sometimes you just want to “quit it all”. Thankfully those days pass- leaving you something to do the next day! I’m a new visitor to your site….and I’m hooked. I’ll be seeing you again…so please don’t unplug and quit! Tomorrow’s a new day and thankfully there are NEW MERCIES for each one of us!
Terri´s last [type] ..This life
Yes, this …. All of this, Emily.
Listening in the quiet with you, and hearing the sureness that love really is the answer.
Your life is art. How I thank God for you today and your minstry of art-words.
Jennifer @ GDWJ´s last [type] ..My Wood-Carved Valentine
I remember…after a few years of either being bored to death or bombarded by a series of events withing a couple of churches over several years..that I thought of giving up going to church. Finally there came a day when I just said to the Lord ‘what shall I do…shall I just not go anymore to any church or should I give (this particular one) a last shot..the verse ‘a bruised reed i will not break’ came to mind…and that is just what I felt like…a bruised reed..my faith trampled and bleeding. I went to the particular church on my heart and wept for the first three months as God healed my broken heart. He has restored my soul and this reed is flourishing. We don’t know what joy and healing and creativity and wholeness God has got around the corner and what he is purifying in us by allowing us to suffer either. Life is all about following…discipleship and relationship with the Holy Spirit and He will lead us well. He is in our being.
Naturally Carol´s last [type] ..Re-Vintaged Flower Power!
Hey girl. I have told you before that I love your writing because you manage to write something on your heart and I always can relate to it. Thank you for your comment yesterday on my 1/2 marathon. I can’t help but think of that when reading this today. When I wanted to quit, when I thought “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t go any further” and still had 3 miles to go, I did it. And I know I can use that in other situations now, too. When I think I am done, I can keep going. You are so right “It feels like art” because it is you and me and everyone else doing what we are meant to do despite our fears of failure and criticism. It is surprising ourselves each day with how beautiful life is when you keep going.
Thank you, xo
Creating connects me to him. I am drawn to it. Even when I think I am walking away from it for good, I’m pulled back.
It’s like a tide, in and out, but always pulling me to the sea.
Beautiful post and pictures.
Cassandra Frear´s last [type] ..5 Steps to Find Your Stride in Social Media
Oh dear me, how did I miss this one for two whole days? Here’s what I loved best first: “God doesn’t tell me what to do, he invites me into what he has done. ” And then I loved more, and then I loved the whole last paragraph and then I wanted to stitch it onto a pillow and fall asleep to the words every night.
You’re some kind of word-spinner, you know?
And I hope you have just the tiniest inkling about this already, but you are necessary to me. Our little talk changed the course of things and I walked away feeling like the 18 hours on the road were hours well spent.
Flower Patch Farmgirl´s last [type] ..Mine
Hi Emily – Thanks for writing this. Today is the first day I noticed your post and it was a Godsend. Chatting with the Sky? I do that all the time and what a beautiful way to put it
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one and I’m not crazy. A place for the soul to breath? Well, that is beyond comforting. I am at the end of my rope today and truly feel like quitting. Thank God for my dog, Jake, who gets me up and out of bed each morning for a walk when I feel like pulling the covers over my head and sleeping all day. I am depressed over the recent death of my father, the end of a long term relationship and the loss of my job. I’m feeling very left out and like a cork floating in an endless ocean never to find solid ground. I’m fighting every day to get through another day. I know God is there and I talk to him all the time. I look up at the sky and call out to Him. A million times a day I cry out for help and He helps me until the next hour when I feel that crushing depression spinning me around and pulling me down like water does in the ocean when a ship sinks.
Sometimes I feel like the air is being crushed out of me and I can’t stop crying. Sometimes I literally am down on my knees begging for mercy. I thank God for my salvation, the sun, trees, snow, crisp air and all of the wonderful friends and family I have and I feel better. The depression goes away for a little while and I can breathe. It’s amazing how many times a day he answers my prayer. I will get through another day. I will feel Him lift me up and encircle me in His warm embrace. And then I cry out of sheer joy and overwhelming love. He truly can turn tears of despair into tears of joy if we let Him.
Please pray for me. Pray for patience, endurance and peace. I am praying for you as well.
such a joy to meet you briefly at Blissdom and so ever thankful you are not quitting. Now go turn on that “Firework” song and dance till you laugh
xxoo
Polly´s last [type] ..I Need You
Ah, yes, I know that quitting-call well. We need your words and beauty and all of you in this world. So grateful for you, friend, so glad we can share this journey…let’s keep going.
Holley Gerth´s last [type] ..A little middle-of-the-week reminder
Emily,
These lines by Nikki Giovanni came in my daily poem today, and I thought of you: Everyone deserves Sanctuary a place to go where you are safe/Art offers Sanctuary to everyone willing/to open their hearts as well as their eyes.
Your blog is a sanctuary. Thanks for writing about truth. And reality.
Alie´s last [type] ..Guilty
Darling friend. I’ve been out of town and away from my computer since Monday night, so I’m just now getting a chance to read this post. You know the Southern thing to say here, don’t you? “Bless your heart.” Hackneyed, yes. But just what you need. You need your heart to be blessed, and I pray it has been through this outpouring of comments, these pieces of love offered just to encourage you.
Clearly encouragement is one of your gifts. But who encourages an encourager? Who helps her to keep going? Who lifts her chin and looks her in the eyes and says, “don’t quit”? We do. Because you fought through the discouragement enough to say “Help!”
And the critics? Well, bless their hearts, too. Clearly, they need blessing, and I hope they get it. Then they can leave you alone. Except that one in your head. That one is a bit tougher. That kind comes out only through prayer.
Richella at Imparting Grace´s last [type] ..Dinner for Real
My family too has had an interesting start to our year. We have had things happen to us that I could never have imagined happening but they did. It has been one challenge or disappointment after another. I am often discouraged every morning from many of my tasks. I keep reminding myself every morning that God never gives us more than we can handle and there is a lesson to be learned in each event. Hang in there. You are a beautiful mother, a beautiful wife, a beautiful person and a beautiful writer.
Mikelle´s last [type] ..ipad generation
I love that…..I listen quiet for an answer. He offers love instead.
He does invite me. I like that. I’m so glad to relate to others who have these times in their lives. I feel “normal” and still a servant-child of God when I read these.
Thank You for always sharing in transparency.
Jeri´s last [type] ..Healing Times and an Invitation for You All
So beautiful that I cried. Your words hit my heart; I have felt like quitting lately. I am pondering…God doesn’t tell me what to do, he invites me into what he has done today.
Oh wow. Yes, I needed this. Thank you Emily.
Oh this is beauty. Breath-taking beauty. The enemy tries to talk you into it because you hold so much beauty and glory within and it threatens him every time. I cannot wait to read your book and it there are any, I’ll take on those critics for you and tell them a thing or two!! Don’t quit, not even in your imagination.
This ministered to me. I’ve been catching up on my blogs cause I was gone for a week. My father-in-law passed away suddenly last week. He was 55. It’s heartbreaking for us, wonderful for him. I’m pregnant and hormonal and lately all i want to do is quit everything. But I’m not and I love He’s not either. Thanks for not quitting. You truly minister to me every day. It’s gonna be worth it. Praying for you and your family, even though this was a week ago, I hope the sickness and blah has weared off for now!
Jacque´s last [type] ..Getaway
Thank you for writing this. It reminds me of God’s character. I’ve been on a break from attending church after being “to-do-listed” for many years. I see the issue is with me and not others. This post reminds me of the love of Jesus.