For the last 10 years, my husband has struggled to dream. I would ask him the question, What are some things you dream about for the future? And I didn’t even mean job-type stuff, although that could have been a part of it. I just meant you know, whatever. He couldn’t answer the question. Simply, couldn’t. Oh, he would mention a couple of things, make a little joke about golf. But he couldn’t get out of practical. He didn’t really know how to dream.
I dream all the time. Maybe too much, actually. You know my chocolate shop by the sea? Well it is adjacent to my rolling, green hills and my English garden and all my herbs. And also my mountain. And my retreat center that was only a short bike ride away from the city. And my little cottage where I sit and write all my novels. In French. I am a crazy person. But do you want to know one of the things that began to make the difference for him to begin to dream legitimate, real things?
It was Simple Mom‘s book, Organized Simplicity. It isn’t a book about discovering your dreams or anything like that. Instead, it is the clutter-free approach to intentional living. And part of the approach is to define your family purpose statement.
And so while The Man sat and cleaned out the junk drawer in our kitchen, I sat with Tsh’s book and asked him the 20 questions she lists. As I listened to his answers, I heard him say things I had never heard him say before. Dream-like things. Calling-like things. Fearless things. And I am forever grateful to Tsh for writing a book that helped my husband and I talk more deeply about the intention of our living.
And so while The Man put our junk from the drawer into piles of pennies and rubberbands, we talked about what we believed. We put paragraphs around what is important to our family. We defined things, and re-defined things. And we still are.
Organized Simplicity is divided into two main parts – the first part encourages us how to think about the purpose for our families and our homes and the second part is a more practical, hands-on cleaning/de-cluttering the house. It is extremely detailed and Tsh outlines exactly what (and what not) to do. I have to admit, I didn’t make it all the way through this part of the book yet. Which is why I’m so excited about Project Simplify over at Tsh’s blog, Simple Mom.
It’s basically a five week hand-holding project. She reveals a hot-spot on Mondays (this week it was the closet – as in, my closet) and then on Fridays we can link up with our before and after photos.
While I wouldn’t normally participate in showing the world my messy closet projects like this, I am beginning to make the connection between the stuff I choose to hang onto and the dreams we have for our family. Sometimes they just don’t match up. And so, I’m jumping in and joining Tsh and many other Simple Mom readers in this challenge to organize five hot spots in five weeks. I may not post on it every week, but I will be quietly working away, losing stuff and gaining perspective.
I know, they aren’t that much different. But I have a box filled with clothes to donate that says otherwise. One step at a time, friends. If you would like to join in on organizing some of your hot spots, check out Tsh’s latest post and be inspired.
**I was given this book for Christmas by my sister. I’m not being paid to say any of this stuff. Although, even if I were, it wouldn’t make any difference. I love this book. And also Tsh. Amen.
And I love you, Emily! I actually can see a big difference in your before and after. And your hangers! Yum. So beautiful.
Beautiful words you’ve written here. Thanks for your kindness.
And — Philippines? Soon? Can’t wait.
Tsh @ Simple Mom´s last [type] ..Called to the Crazy
I was just like your husband…living in the practical and unable to dream. My husband is the dreamer, so I always felt like I had to keep us grounded (and organized). But then a year ago, over an anniversary dinner, I began to dream. And now that I have read your post, I know why…because I was beginning to live life more intentionally. My intention has been to live a more simple, present, slow-paced life. It’s hard to do that in the middle of the 4th largest city, so I’ve started dreaming about moving. (Crazy for a practical girl who’s lived here’re all her life and has a gorgeous hoe, great school for her kids, family all around, etc.). But you know what…it’s so FREEING to dream! And when I started dreaming, my husband was right there to help me dream even bigger (too big at first, but I’m getting there!).
Thank you for this post. Yours are always good, but this one articulated something I couldn’t. Now I’m off to dream some more!
Love and hugs,
Linsey
LLH Designs´s last [type] ..Pink In The House
My husband and I dream in different ways and we are each grounded in the practical in different ways. My husband may dream, but he never sees his dreams being able to become a reality. I on the the other hand, don’t dream as much as he does, but I like to put legs on my dreams. Always amazes me how God puts 2 people together to balance one another out!
Bernice
Living the Balanced Life´s last [type] ..Moms need a timeout too
I love your openness and honesty. You know my husband isn’t a goal setter, dream maker either and I am such a nerd when it comes to goals and dreams. Your approach though of asking questions while he worked on things is so good. I think I will try it. Good book suggestions too. We recently remodeled and really cleaned out all closets in the house. But now the drawers await their turn. Thanks for the inspiration this morning.
Ah, you and your husband sound a little like us. I dream way too much, about things shockingly similar to your dreams. Ha.
Your closet looks great. I was too chicken to do my whole closet so I hung up my scarves. I’m awesome at this. {not}
melissa @ the inspired room´s last [type] ..Simple Closet Makeover & The What Not To Do List
Haha! Your comment about hanging up your scarves cracks me up!
Melissa Brotherton´s last [type] ..Now- I have no excuse not to clean the toilet…
I think I may go pick up that book. I tend to feel my dreams are better suited for someone else and just go on living doing what’s practical. I’ve also saved Tsh’s blog into my fav’s! I’m not a mom but part of one dream I hope to see come true is one day to be one.
This is awesome.
My dreams sound a lot like yours, and our husbands sound so similar. Now I want to purchase that book, if only because it will help my husband and I to talk. Haha!
We’re moving this summer, following a dream to a calling God has placed on our life. I am in purge mode, so your closet excites me.
Melissa Brotherton´s last [type] ..Now- I have no excuse not to clean the toilet…
are you kidding? i can totally see a difference.
i sense a renewal in so many hearts. the desire to clear out things that are a distraction, whether it be a messy closet or a destructive way of thinking.
i saw this book the other day. i think i’ll go back & grab it
xo
paige´s last [type] ..diet & nutrition advice bring it on
Like you, I didn’t think there was a huge change in my “before” and “after” photos, but I definitely feel more at peace when I walk into my closet to get dressed in the morning. There is something so appealing about living life with less – less clutter, less stress, less self-centeredness.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Tracey´s last [type] ..Empty Spaces
Love this!! You should read my post on ways to clutter up your house on matternfamily.com!
Heather´s last [type] ..Searching For Love- Five Minute Friday
It didn’t think the difference showed well in my pictures either, and my donating and toss bags looked rather small in pictures, even though I know there’s lots of stuff packed down there! I can see the difference in your picture, especially the shoes!
I need to get that book! You and your husband sound a lot like me and mine. I’ve been trying to talk about a purpose statement for our family with my husband, but he doesn’t dream either. All his life, he had one dream: to play baseball for the Yankees. And a couple years ago, he gave up on it. Now he doesn’t dream much. I’ve already accomplished most of my “bucket list,” so I need to do some dreaming too!
Emily Joyce´s last [type] ..Brians Birthday Trip
I was thinking as I was hanging my clothes back up in my closet how cool it would be to have wooden hangers
I love how it makes your closet look! I am very excited to read Tsh’s book. Especially now that I’ve read your thoughts on it. I really loved her challenge on Friday to think about how cleaning and organizing can be connected to your family’s purpose statement. This has been such a breakthrough for me on some of my most dreaded cleaning tasks around the house. Now when I think about how I can be supporting our family’s purpose by putting the laundry away it is much more rewarding. On another note, I love the dreams you shared. I have lots of dreams like those too. It is so fun to daydream isn’t it? 
Happy Friday!!!
Oh that is awesome! I confess, I didn’t do the family purpose statement. Last weekend was crazy for us, and then he was out of town Monday-Thursday night. I ordered Tsh’s book though, and when it comes I full plan on spending some quiet time with him, so we can do that. I know we need to! It is hard but it feels GOOD to hit these hot spots!
Dawn´s last [type] ..Project Simplify- My Wardrobe
Thanks, Emily, for your encouragement. I actually bought the book, started reading it, then in my impulsive not-finishing-something-I-started style, I put in on the shelf for later. I see it now as I’m sitting here, and am going straight to get it back off that shelf and start on the journey to intentional, simple living. Just needed your little push!
jimi ann path of life´s last [type] ..going back to go forward
A good thing about moving often is it forces me to clean stuff out. Still…even though we garage sale and declutter before we pack we find ourselves always re-decluttering when we unpack! And although we’ve been in this house only 7 months, I see nooks and crannies that need decluttering. Sigh.
Sounds like this book is something I need…love how it helped you and your man connect in new ways! Awesomeness.
Loved this one today and I have just bought 3 books on organizing and de-cluttering. I will be checking out this blog and maybe giving it a try. I have been feeling hopeless, I have clothes I haven’t worn for five years still in the closet and no room for anything else. I think I need this challenge.
Pattyann´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday – Wild Woman
I recently finished Tsh’s book and loved how it resonated with my heart! Thanks for sharing how it’s going for your family. It’s really made us think about what we value and what we’re showing those we encounter. Go you!
Okay…this is about the 50-bazillonth time I’ve heard great things about this book…I need to get it
Kara´s last [type] ..Thankful for a Humbling Day of Parenting
I am on a decluttering rampage right now — it’s making my family crazy, actually, but I’m personally on a HIGH. I need that book. I’m going to borrow Deidra Riggs’ copy when she’s done because I can’t buy it b/c of the not shopping project, but I really, really want to buy it.
Michelle DeRusha@Graceful´s last [type] ..The Gift List
Okay, you have made a believer out of me. Besides the dreams very similar to your chocolate, countryside, ocean, novel-writing ones, I also dream of a de-cluttered, simplified life. I may just have to check out this challenge. And get the book.
By the way, in my dreams I speak French perfectly and fluently. In real life, not so much.
Scooper´s last [type] ..The Evolution of a Word Girl
As my husband and I prepared for my leaving the corporate world a few years back, ‘SIMPLIFYING’ ran a close second only to ‘LETTING GOD LEAD’.
And just like you, Emily, I’m the dreamer in the family. It took giving God control of everything…our time, our talents, our house and belongings to do with as He saw fit. And it took selling off some un-needed stuff to make room in our lives for an unexpected dream of my husband’s to be realized…one he’d never told me about until we began to discuss between us what was really important in our lives.
We dreamed of having more time to go on foreign missions… Mexico, Dominican Republic, etc… and we have…on a shoestring budget! We dreamed of a slower more purposeful pace and the opportunity to breathe. Just before I left the corporate world, we’d finally finished and moved into our home on a quiet little lake. We did much of the work ourselves and much was still waiting to be finished. Finances were tight even though we were big thrifters and were always looking for a closeout deal. Giving God this home to use for His purposes was easy at first… youth meetings on our dock, Sunday school gatherings, etc. But to give God total control over (to take it away or let us keep it) the place where we felt such peace and quiet, where we’d sweated and toiled and banged fingers and strained backs, was harder than any material thing we turned over to him. Then, the economy decline and housing market fallout made it such that selling wasn’t much of an option. We were going to have to trust God to see us through this…and yet, looking back we’ve been living so lean that it was barely noticed around our house most of the time…and even when there were a few extra mouths around to feed.
My husband’s dream…to learn to sail. For 25 years he’s quietly held this dream. And God brought a way… and a Miracle…and so much more. (Okay, just putting these words into a comment has made me realize I have to write about this one…Thx!)
We continue this simplifying quest every day (and also see more and more de-cluttering that’s needed.) I started the closet cleanup in January and made even more progress last weekend…just before finding Tsh’s blog, the beginning of Project Simplify and her new book, Organized Simplicity.
I can’t wait for Tsh’s book to arrive!
Sharon´s last [type] ..Organizing Jewelry – So you can find it when you want it…
Isn’t de-cluttering great? I’m doing it too~Again.
Mrs.B´s last [type] ..Springtime
Like you, I’m a dreamer married to a very practical husband. He’d rather crack jokes than discuss dreams. I’m going to have to buy this book – sounds right up my alley! Thanks for sharing.
I love to de-clutter, I love organizing. My husband loves to keep everything, but whenever I go through a room and get rid of stuff he likes it afterwards. I feel so much more free and comfortable in an organized space.
Lauren´s last [type] ..Emergency Friends
I love Tsh, too! And her book – and amen to the power of dreaming.
Jamie
steadymom´s last [type] ..Are You a Professional Mother
I never considered that clutter could actually hinder one from dreaming. Very interesting.
I’m a lover of both organization and simplicity, but I often fall short. I can see Tsh’s beautiful book in my future.
Dayle´s last [type] ..Making Housework Manageable – Taking Aim At Chores
Thank you for reminding me why I love Tsh’s book so much!
I knew someone who when he talked I thought, “What a dreamer.”
As if it were a bad thing.
But I loved it about him.
I want to dream more.
Or more importantly, make the few dreams I have more than just dreams.
I want to give them life.
Thank you for the inspiration.
Decluttering is the best. I see a big difference in your before and after pics!
My closet terrifies me. It’s the last place to be organized and it needs it monthly. However, I adore organizing my pantry. With every move, we de-clutter. I am so looking forward to decluttering this summer:) I love how you talked about organizing and what it mean! Beautiful!
bluecottonmemory´s last [type] ..Socks for 5 Prayer for 9
One step at a time. So true. We often underestimate how much we can accomplish if we just do a little bit at a time. De-cluttering and re-organizing are my passions lately, and this is the only way to do it.