I push my cart down aisle 4 and just as I reach the snacks, I imagine Jillian Michaels walking up behind me and in her bossy strong voice, she points right in my face and says, Do you really want to put that in your cart? And can you believe that just the thought of of Jillian at my Harris Teeter looking into my cart keeps me from buying the Oreos? Invisible, pretend, Jillian.
The college boys in front of me have their arms filled with beer and toilet paper, and I wonder what type of night they’re going to have with all the beer. And the toilet paper. But I don’t really wonder because I kind of know, even though I’m a good girl and didn’t have many (any) beer and toilet paper kind of nights. Girls who don’t buy Oreos because of imaginary Jillians don’t have beer and toilet paper kind of nights.
I think about the book I wrote that I feel like I’ve talked incessantly about to you (gracious, beautiful you), but I think about it because it’s coming close to the point where I no longer have a hand in the words anymore, the point where my hands are off and yours are on. And since I’m on my own nerves talking about how terrifying that is, I won’t say it again. But you know. I’m not sure when I grew up, exactly. Maybe sometime around when I bounced my first check in college (ohhhh, there has to be money in there) or had my first and second babies within 3 minutes of each other or drank a big glass of wine on my honeymoon, sans the toilet paper.
Driving home from the grocery store, I am so deep in thought that I miss my turn. I drive home the long way, pause to take a picture of a pretty house, hum a little of The Story, ask myself if the pace of my life fits the pace of my soul. Life lately demands performance, while my soul demands space. I think of Ann’s words: Life is not an emergency. I dare myself to believe her. I pray peace words over the whirring hum lodged in my heart. It’s a physical whirr with emotional impact. Peace looks me in the eye and asks to do what Peace does best. Let me be your umpire. I consider it, but I hold back. It feels risky.
His words come to mind, Be still and know that I am God (Ps. 46:10), and I notice especially today that it doesn’t say to be still and feel. It says know, and that feels particularly important today.
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I totally imagined myself beating Jillane up and joining the college boys…but instead I would have opened the oreos on the way home;) Thanks for the thoughts and thelaugh this morning…I love the thought that “my life demand performance but my soul demands space! ” I am praying for space this morning! have a great day! and I cant wait for the book, it is going to be awesome!
I needed to read this today, and I’m sure I’ll be reading it again later.
Anne´s last [type] ..Winner Dinners
Your writing was a “peaceful” way to begin my day here in Saginaw:) Thanks, Emily.
Joylynn´s last [type] ..Franken-perfect
totally relate to the imaginary jillian.
absolutely love the last 2 sentences of this post.
adornedlife´s last [type] ..oui oui
calming, beautiful, just what i needed this morning after the chaos of not spring break is upon me.
So I’m not the only one who hears imaginary voices in the grocery store. : ) Thank you for your peace words this morning. I’m in need of some. {And I love your pics–Hipstamatic?}
Scooper´s last [type] ..When You Want a Rewrite
Such great, encouraging, peace-filled words. I’ve got a longer than usual, busy day ahead of me, and I started out this morning by praying for the patience to not begrudge every minute of it just because I think it might possibly be a bad day. It will certainly be busy, and perhaps even stressful at times, but only as much as I let it. The day can be crazy, but I don’t have to be!
“…it doesn’t say to be still and feel. It says know, and that feels particularly important today.”
Needed to hear this today – and every day.
Kristy K´s last [type] ..Quite Possibly the Best Semi-Homemade Cookie Ever
Thank you for sharing this. Especially the part about Be Still and Know- Not be still and feel.
Paula´s last [type] ..Marathon for the Heart
These are the perfect words to read on the Monday-morning beginning of a week that is going to be full and performance demanding.
Imperfect´s last [type] ..From the Market
Thank you for sharing this. I feel that whirring in my life right now when what I really want to do is absorb, be grounded, think.
Okay, now I am going to have an extra shopper along with me, keeping her eye on my buggy, lol! Do you try to justify “they’re for the kids!”
I love this line “…ask myself if the pace of my life fits the pace of my soul.” That is awesome right there. Gives me something to think on this morning for sure!
Bernice
Living the Balanced Life´s last [type] ..Learning to turn work OFF
Love pointing out that God doesn’t say “be still and feel.”
Shannon´s last [type] ..Driving Lessons from My Parents
I love that God says, “Be still and know” rather than “Be still and feel.” Because even when I don’t feel it (and oh, how there seem to be too many of those moments), I can still *know* it. With a knowing that runs down deep in my very being. With confidence and trust and assurance based on Truth.
Emily G.´s last [type] ..The Presence of God
I think I hear Jillian’s voice in my head on a daily basis. I really loved this post. It really calmed my anxious heart this morning.
Barbie´s last [type] ..Welcome To The Party!
You put me there in the aisle with you … I’m certain I wouldn’t have purchased the Oreos either! “Life is not an emergency” … I love that … I believe that … thank you for that.
What I love about you is that you stopped to take the picture
Even though you were on the long way home… God bless and keep you on every street and between.
Beautiful, Emily! Thanks for sharing…and I will be praying for you as the book comes out. I remember Ann expressing much the same thoughts about once it was out of her hands. May God’s peace meet you at each new bend in the road.
Fonda´s last [type] ..Be Careful What You Ask For
I have discovered that the peace He has promised is a reality. It took me by surprise, and it shouldn’t have. The only requirement seemed to be letting go of what I perceived as control and surrendering with absolute trust to His plan. It is something I seem to have to do over and over again, but when I do He is so faithful.
Loved this Emily.
I’m signing up, but really there is no way I wouldn’t come visit you anyway.
Linda´s last [type] ..Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross
read this post this morning on my phone and had to come back and comment! loved it. you’re so real.
I totally get it.
cat moore´s last [type] ..Focused on Eternity
It is all in the ‘knowing’ isn’t it? I, too, was reminded of that while under the weather this past week, feeling the need to ‘get it all done’…and then came His gentle reminder to be still… and at peace. It feels good, doesn’t it?
Sharon´s last [type] ..Be Still…
hey friend. i loved this post. so refreshing and true, and yes, to rest…ahhh, rest….now if i would just let it happen. it’s waiting, He’s waiting, but am I willing? i hope so. love you.
Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Oreos, however, are permissible, beneficial, and necessary. Amen? Love you, Emily!
Courage, wisdom, encouragement and faith – I hear it all in this space. When we don’t shrink small and rise up boldly in faith to use our gifts, it’s then we remember how great is our Maker and how wonderful are His works and His ways. Thank you, Emily.
Mela Kamin´s last [type] ..What’s in a Name
a fine line, on days, between knowing and feeling… though I’ve never really thought of such- before…
misty´s last [type] ..The post in which I confess todays loves
I doubt Jillian Michaels would agree with me, but I believe being still is one of life’s best exercises … and one of the hardest ones, too.
Dayle´s last [type] ..Monday Musings When Hope is Misplaced
I find it funny that your trip to the grocery store seems like a quiet thoughtful experience, while my trips to the grocery store always have me frazzled and wishing for a nap.
I’m a new follower. I love you and your sister and Jesus and diet coke and my fiesty little boy and my “boo” of almost 6 years.
hollie´s last [type] ..just
The imaginary Jillian visits you in the grocery store too…
I agree with Rachel it leaves me exhausted unless I’m a Trader Joes; then I enjoy it.
Rachelle´s last [type] ..Adding Juice to Your Diet
I can so relate to all of this from the Jillian part to the college students…however, I have college boys and this mother didn’t teach them to drink, she never has, but I know the world says different and my heart goes out to all young adults trying to walk out their Christianity these days.
Making art out of my life…the canvas is large after 50 years, but it is starting to make a picture. each stroke placed there by God and none of them expected by me.
Great post.
Janette@Janette’s Sage´s last [type] ..Benjamins Kitchen – Blueberry Pound Cake