I’m writing a book for the quiet girl who sits in the back, the loud girl who thinks she should be different, the leader who is afraid they’ll find out, and the girl who couldn’t do it as well as her sister. It’s for the daughter who just wants to please them, for the student who wants to do it right, for the friend who is always the sidekick, plain.
I’m writing a book for the good test-takers and the strict rule-makers. It’s for the athlete succeeding and competing, for the star. For the dancer and the painter and the daydream-maker, for the worried and the hurried and the sweet, smile-fakers. For the prom queen who cries in the bathroom, the artist ignoring the canvas, and the poet who never speaks up. For the girl who feels both too much and not enough.
For the rule-followers, the fear-wallowers, the messy and the misunderstood. It’s for the self-critic, the silent judge, and for those who feel invisible. I’m writing a book for them, for my high school aged friends, for the leaders, the gonna-be women, the someday mamas, the soon-to-be world-changers, and the today idea-makers — I’m writing a book and the writing is in full swing.
I look at the photos I took with my small group, these beautiful sixteen-year-old girls full of life and promise. I watch as they interact, question with their eyes, laugh ’til they cry. I think about the girls their age in the Philippines because I can’t help it. I struggle with words and concepts, I fight with myself over voice and perspective, I cry. And even though my first book hasn’t even released yet, my second book is nearly finished and this one is so important. Not because of what I have to say, but because of who it’s for.
These girls, their hearts, their minds, their future passes through our hands for such a short time. We do not have the final say in how their lives will go, the choices they will make, the direction they will take. But we do have a say, a small one. And we can pray for them on our knees and with full hearts because we must. And we can fight for their future with our invisible weapons of love and faith and arms full of grace. They are living in the midst of their past right now, the one they will always look back on and point to. 
And so we, who have walked together into the muddy, disease infested waters of poverty and have delighted in the beauty of the everyday moments, we pray for our high school friends: for a hope-filled future, for a present dipped in grace, and for a past that will encourage and spur on, never haunt or hold back. Today, they are writing their regrets as well as their victories. May their stories to be written well and with great courage.
Did you have a girl in mind as you read this today? Share her with us, and tell us how we may pray for her.
And for you who are grown but still feels like all of this? Grace for the Good Girl is only $8.94 right now and is available for pre-order. And I will meet you there in its pages, because me too. See, there’s a book for everyone. (Amazon or Barnes & Noble).
Oh! How I wish you had written this several years ago when my daughter was a teen. But as you say, the present is dipped in grace. Looking forward to reading it and sharing it with some of my favorite young ladies (and maybe a granddaughter someday!)
(The picture of the cowboy boots and the painted toenails just makes me smile.)
Nancy´s last [type] ..Dad- Eulogy
I have three teenage girls in mind as I read this, Emily–all three mine. All three are different, which I love, and all three will struggle in different ways. There’s the first-born, over-achiever, optimist who brightens up every room she enters. There’s the middle, quiet, introverted, deep, who serves without acclamation (and who is serving at camp for 8 weeks this summer–her mama misses her!). And there’s the youngest who is still trying to figure out who she is within the minefield of middle school. Bless them all.
I’d love prayer today, though, for a group of college girls who I will speak to next Monday on the subject of finding our identity in Christ. Please pray for me as I prepare, that I would find just the right words and illustrations to meet them where they are. And please pray for these college girls who are just as unsure of themselves as your high schoolers. Do we ever really figure it out??
Shelly W.´s last [type] ..Just a Greeting Card
Oh, we never do, really. And that identity talk is a hard one, as you battle so much when you journey into that territory. May your words and word pictures come straight from the heart of God.
Emily´s last [type] ..for you who have those teenaged girls
As I am reading this, I am listening to 15 girls ages 12-16 awaken. giggling and groaning a little (those who stayed up until 3 a.m. are the ones groaning). These girls just spent 25-30 hours planning and implementing a camp for our American Heritage Girls troop, and at the end of it they are both elated and exhausted. We reward them by spending a night at the executive suite of the Hilton. I am so immensely proud of them. They are girls just like you described, who struggle with all kinds of issues, who don’t even necessarily all like each other, but they do this amazing thing and rise to the occasion.
Last year we did the book One Girl Can Change the World as our Bible study before troop meetings with our teenagers. Sounds like we’ll be doing yours when it comes out.
Sarah at SmallWorld´s last [type] ..This Place
Oh, I hope you do. I love how you say they are girls “who don’t even necessarily all like each other” because that is so very true. Blessings to you as you love them!
Emily´s last [type] ..for you who have those teenaged girls
for my sweet little sister who will soon be 16 and starting her sophomore year of high school. she is 20 years younger than me and we don’t live close so i don’t get to see her as much as i’d like. i know these years can be tough, so i pray for her all the time. she is a great kid. i just pray she continues on the path she’s going and continues to make good decisions.
I hang with a group of girls that are going to be seniors. I’ve been with them since they were in 7th grade and I want them to read this book. I pray for them often that they would know the perfect love that Christ has for them. They need to feel that unconditional love. {Well, I do to} And I can’t wait to read your book{s}.
Thanks!!!
Meg´s last [type] ..My Yard Sale Finds
Oh, sweet Emily…can it be me? Can it be me who is so far from being in high school, but who still feels like I’m there? Still feeling young, and still struggling with the young confidence…shaky legs like a newly born Bambi venturing out and trusting her Mama that she can walk. Instead, for me it’s my Daddy giving me the courage as He speaks deep into my heart.
I’m wobbly with tears today as I soak myself in the soap suds of these moments, and as I trust Him for tomorrow’s moments. It’s hard to wait and trust on Him. And it’s harder still to trust that He does enable me. Little strength me with big strength from Him. I’m that girl who feels like too much and too little all at the same time.
And so, I also think of the little girl who I’ll be a Mama to…someday…if what I believe God has spoken to me will indeed come to pass. He’s preparing me more and more everyday to mama a girl, and it’s speaking truth into her life that my spirit is passionate about. One Mama can change the world, one girl at a time.
I think the hope-filled future your words speak into the lives of young girls will also hold incredible power to release the clouds of adult-girls’ yesterdays, and give courage to step out into the light of tomorrow’s new dawn.
Rich blessings, girlfriend, as you continue to write for Him, and bring healing and {Grace} to all of us…
Amy Hunt´s last [type] ..when the pain is our worship
Oh my goodnesss….YOU CAN NOT post something like this and then make us wait a year for the book…NO YOU CAN’T! Emily, wow….all I can say, is wow. So many girls and moms will be revolutionized by what the Lord shares through you. Can’t wait to read these together with my girls.
xoxox
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam)´s last [type] ..Father’s Day Tradition Ideas
I’m with Jen!!
Can’t wait to see it!!
Christin´s last [type] ..Encourage One Another A Challenge For You
For my sweet, Paige, who already at 5 1/2 says she doesn’t like herself because she has curls in her hair that spring up and keep it from seeming long, and flowing like that of her little friends. Although she is young, I am finding myself on a hard pressed mission to instill in her the beauty she has been chosen to portray from the inside out that comes directly from her Creator. Thank you for writing to teen girls…and those who will be one day…my heart is hugely invested in these young women, who need to know that God has something special for them and had it planned from their beginning. I love it-the some-day momma, the world-changers…
Hi Emily! Not sure if you remember me. We met at Blissdom during its 2nd year. I have been in awe at your God given gifts. Your books will be a must read for myself and my girls! Would you please lift my oldest daughter Kaylee up in prayer. She just graduated HS and had planned to go out of town to a wonderful college. Life changed things for her and our whole family. Her Dad (my Ex husband) suffered a stroke in Feb. and is now unable to live alone. At her tender age of 18 she has taken on the task, alongside her brother (my oldest) to take care of her Dad. We are now going through the process of changing her to our SLU ( a closer college). Although she never complains, I can see the wear on her sweet little face. She is also trying to fit a partime job in whenever she can.
I walk into her room filled with graduation cards, wrinkled gown, and her summer books left behind. I am trying to do all that I can to help them out without stepping over any boundaries and making my husband of 16 years feel uncomfortable. I thank God for him everyday because he has been so understanding and helpful as well. God has moved in Kaylee in wondeful ways. She has grown closer to Him and has counted on His grace everyday. My prayer for her is to be 18 again. Carefree and excited to take on the world. Today she worries about not being enough, making sure meds are given, and being on time for Dr.’s appt. I want her to know how proud her Dad, Step Dad,and I are of her and her brother.
Thanks Emily for writting down what the Lord places on your heart. Thank you for sharing. This world is so full of wonderful girls …good girls…our girls! Susie
May Kaylee’s arms be strengthened supernaturally, and her young heart be encouraged even in the midst of the responsibility. Thanks for sharing her with us, Susie.
Emily´s last [type] ..for you who have those teenaged girls
I was thinking of my sixteen year old as I read this, but you already knew that.
Thank you for the impact you’ve had on her!
I’m so thankful for Bre. I’ve been thinking of her this week. Now that I’m home and getting settled back into writing, I plan to send her more pages to read, if she’ll have them!
Emily´s last [type] ..for you who have those teenaged girls
Oh Emily! Can’t wait for your books! When will this one be released? My own girl is 18 and just graduated from high school. She’s got the world before her and she is filled with fear, questions, and a whole lot of potential. I pray the potential screams louder in her heart than the fear. I so want hope to win out over insecurity. This mama gig is a tough one sometimes, it stretches me and pulls at my heart.
Jamie @ Six Bricks High´s last [type] ..Family Life Series 2011 Week Six
oh, I’ve got two seven year old girls who seem to have bought the red-eye ticket to sixteen. They’re barreling fast ahead – I can’t imagine standing where you are, but I know it will come sooner than later.
This teen book will be released in September 2012.
Emily´s last [type] ..for you who have those teenaged girls
I have an 18 year old, Emily, who is a good girl in every true sense of the word, but trying so hard to find her way in the world. She recently moved out on her own, to go to school, and will be struggling with so many things as she continues to define who she is and where God wants to use her in this world. As much as I can’t wait for your first book, this second book is going to be awesome as well!
Living the Balanced Life´s last [type] ..Letting go of perfection
Unbelievable how well-wirtetn and informative this was.
Well, I’ll be honest, I think I need this one, too.
But mostly, my 16-year old H needs it. It’s hard to grow up when you’ve never seen grown-up first-hand. It’s scary, I think. And it’s even scarier when the only God you know is far, far away.
Flower Patch Farmgirl´s last [type] ..Ruby Toes
I would first like to thank you abundantly for your words. They are a gift and day after day I find myself enveloped in your posts and feeling lighter leaving then coming in and I can’t thank you enough. And although this post is for the teenage girls embarking on their own journey and writing their own story, I can’t help feeling the words can apply to everyone. I’m looking forward to my copy of the Grace for the Good Girl.
i love when you write about your small group girls and have enjoyed following your journey as you write this book. i’m thinking of the seventeen-year-old i mentor. she will be coming home from a treatment center for anorexia in about two weeks. i’m praying for her joy and peace aboundig.
I cannot wait until this book comes out! I am a teenage girl myself and I could defintely use some prayer myself. Being a teen is tough stuff!
Oh, and when is your book for teens coming out?
can i just say that i think you may have just touched down on way more than one of the complex, sometimes confusing, personalities of all three of my teenagers.
i sure think you’re awesome!!
oh
& if you wanna come spend sometime with us here in atlanta, we will give you many a detail to pray for
paige´s last [type] ..the extravagant heart of a cheerful giver
I am definitely going to have to pick this book up! I am a leader at our church’s youth group. It’s my husband and my first year leading and we’re about to leave for the summer retreat with them in a few weeks. I am so excited and so nervous at the same time…
I thought of hundreds of teen girls as I wrote. The ones I failed, the ones I adore, the ones I wish I could’ve supported better. Can’t WAIT to tell our whole youth staff to read your work!!! And then…perhaps…you will come speak at this:
http://melissafeddersen.com/2011/05/30/beauties/
You’ve always wanted to come to Canada …haven’t you?
Melissa@one thing´s last [type] ..Nature Enthusiasts- AKA We may become hippies
i don’t know why i’ve been away for so long when i love being here. every time.
i love this, that you are doing this.
going to read on your adventure. your world changing adventure…
patty´s last [type] ..the beginning
I have about 550 girls in mind as I read this – each and every young lady that attends the school where I work. It is a co-ed school, though each girl holds a special place in my heart. I have a wonderful son, but know I will never have any more children. Those girls are like my daughters. They are each different and have very different needs, but my prayer is that I can be present to them and for them as they navigate their teenage years.
Jenni´s last [type] ..The comfort of His arms
The young girl inside myself is wrestling with the young girl sleeping just a room away. I’ve spent the day processing the obstacles that help this “not-so-good, good-girl” help the sweet on-her-way good girl next door navigate the pain and the beauty of life. Thanks for the encouragement that God sees the beginning to end picture!
I am looking forward to reading it. I think I am wishing you would have written it when I was a teenager myself! It just speaks to my spirit.
Pattyann´s last [type] ..Girls Night Out
I have a little Bible study group of girls who need your book: Emily, Callyn, Jeska, Katie, and Alex.
Your words ring with Truth and sincerity… so well said.
Chelsea´s last [type] ..Asparagus
My two precious daughters, one entering high school and the other two years behind in middle school.
I treasure your prayers for them both… that they will discover God’s call on their life and embrace dwelling in Him, as they navigate all that is good and hard in this stage.
My hearts is especially burdened for my older daughter, who is vivacious and wonderful and lives life loud. I pray that the “church” and its some times hypocritical judgement doesn’t stifle her, and that God uses her joy for His purposes. I ask that you also remember my 12 year old, rapidly heading for 13, who really doesn’t want to “grow up” so soon; as she sees what seems to be the norm for that age and just wants to linger in childhood a little longer. Praying God keeps her peacefully in His will for her.
Thank you for this book… I literally cried when I saw your description of teen girls. I can’t wait for this… and will be praying for you as you write.
Oh, Emily, yes, this book is soooo important! I wish I’d had it two years ago when my own girl was 16 and finding her way. I fear I was no help to her along the way and I look at her now and am humbled by her spirit, her confidence, her achievements, her heart. I will still read this one, though, for all of my teenage friends and mother friends, and for her and hers that are to come.
Bless you.
Heidi M´s last [type] ..Five and Counting Good Stuff
You are simply describing a book you’re writing, and I’m bawling my eyes out! I have a daughter whose heart has holes that she seeks to fill in all the wrong places, who has a standard of perfection for herself that enslaves her to the demons of defeat, and who is running weary of life itself. She needs the Hope of Christ. *I* have the Hope of Christ for her life, and know that God has good plans in store for her; but the interim is. really.hard. Prayers are much appreciated
I am so enjoying your blog, Emily. And your posts about the Philippines — I can’t describe how they’re affecting me. The daughter I mentioned above started sponsoring a child through Compassion with her own money when she was 7. This summer, we will be travelling to El Salvador with a group from our church, and we will get to MEET our little Compassion girl! I can’t wait to see how all of our lives are affected by this experience, though it scares me silly at the same time!
xinme´s last [type] ..Monday Musings on the Creator in Me
Prayer is a powerful weapon. We can use it wherever we are and whatever our situation is. I’m also in the youth ministry in our church and I pray that we all discover God’s call on our life. Thank you for the encouragement about prayer.
Ciara Hurt´s last [type] ..Pregnancy Planner
i love that your next book is for them Emily
Jenny´s last [type] ..Try Something New What Are You Afraid Of
pre-ordered my good girl book weeks ago… cannot wait!
I am the girl who was too much and not enough…until about a year ago when the Lord spoke truth into those lies, saying I am JUST RIGHT.
Can’t wait to read your book.
Love,
Linsey
LLH Designs´s last [type] ..Clean House Love
My godsister graduates from highs school today. Thank you for giving me the words for the prayer I need to say for her!!!
I am thinking of so many young women, from middle school through college, who need this book and who need the prayers of the community of Christ. It’s tough growing up female today. I have counseled girls whose parents are in the throes of divorce, who are themselves victims of abuse, who are struggling with food issues and body issues, who are overwhelmed by too much too soon. Yes, yes, yes – this kind of encouragement is needed. Thank you so much.
Diana Trautwein´s last [type] ..Five Minute Friday- Home
Pre-orderd the book, can’t wait for this one. As I read this I thought of my three beautiful daughters. Elizabeth, my 17 year old, my people person, loves to be with people, but often stays in the background, Sara, 15, my middle daughter, (20 and 12 year old boys make her the middle kid too) who is trying to find her way, not sure I am comfortable with the direction she is heading, and Jayme, my 13 year old “doer”, if it needs done, and done well, she’s the one that will do it, also makes it tough when things don’t go exactly how she thinks they ought to.
Love these girls so much, watching them turn into Godly women will be such a gift.
Thanks for sharing Emily!
I was only blessed with two sons, but I want you to know that if I had a daughter, I would make her read this blog and the book!
trudy´s last [type] ..Best Internet TV Software
Can’t wait to read your book! I have a teen daughter.
Tina´s last [type] ..tips to cure a yeast infection
Thank you, Emily, for loving these girls in your small group – especially since one of them is mine! I can’t wait to get my hands on your book for my girl. Pray for her as she is gone this week. I’m sure you’re already doing that. I love your heart and the beautiful way you share it in this blog.
I am excited to read both of your books!
Emily´s last [type] ..Friday Linkage
I love the heart you have for girls! May God bless you as you write your book and expand the reach of your ministry.
Alexandra´s last [type] ..Keeping track
i really, really needed your blog tonite <3
Love the idea behind this book… can’t wait to read it. Keep writing. Keep writing!
I’m looking forward to reading your book.All the girls in above pictures are so cute and young
hongvan´s last [type] ..The Importance of Business Surveillance Systems
Emily, as a mother of two girls who will one day be as grown as the girls in your pictures, I am so grateful for your words, your heart for the next generations of women and your sacrifice to speak out to them and for them. Thank you!
Kathryn´s last [type] ..unplugged
I would be so honored if you would pray for my girl, logan…. And for me as I parent her through these months where she is so ready to be all on her own, and I am not ready for her to go.
Letting them go is the scariest thing we do as moms. But watching them thrive and grow on their own is the most incredible delight!!! You’re not releasing her into the great unknown. You’re releasing her into God’s hand – big, strong and capable. Praying for you!
I’m way past being a teen but I still need to hear these words–desperately need them. Surely I can read them too???!!
You’re not alone! I bought the book for myself!
I can’t wait for your book Emily! My youngest of four is a 17 year old who will be a senior in the fall. She has had moments of being several of the girls you described…I know her Young Life small group leaders will love to read your book with the Campaigner girls who have been together for six years. Mentors like you are SO special and a blessing to our daughters. God has big plans for my Sarah, and my 22 year old daughter Allie and I love watching them turn into amazing young Godly women.
Jane @ See Jane Learn´s last [type] ..The Lyrics Have a Whole New Meaning
This one is for ME – the loud girl who thinks she should be different… and the girls just like me the Lord has put in my path along the way. I pre-ordered it in March and cannot wait for it to arrive!
The girl on my heart and mind as I read this is my 15, (soon to be 16) year old daughter. She came to us 11 years ago as a terrified, malnourished and beaten 4 year old. She has worked so hard, but those lost early years continue to haunt her in the learning difficulties and the fears and only the Divine Healer can repair the injuries to her soul. Please, when you have a moment, pray for my girl.
I am new to your blog. I don’t know if you will see this comment. This post is so moving. I have an 18 yo daughter who has been homeschooled for the past five years. She will be heading off to college in the fall. This summer we have learned that she may need surgery. She has had ultrasounds and MRIs. We are waiting for the results. It seems she may not have a uterus and there are other complications. Please pray that all will go well, that we will have answers soon and that she can begin college on time.
Thank you,
Ruth
Wow … I want to read it! Now.
I thought of my daughter who will be 16 this month. And of my younger daughter who just turned 11. And of myself, who needed encouragement like yours when I was growing up. I also thought of my influence as a homeschooling Mama … and the fact that I need God’s grace so much every day as I seek to raise two godly women and a godly man.
I can’t wait to read your book!
Blessings,
Leah