“She arrived with her own gifted form, with the shape of her own sacred soul. Biblical faith calls it the image of God in which we are all created.”
Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
We had plans for the night but the plans fell through. Still, there was a sitter. When you get to be married for 10 years and you have a sitter, it matters little what you do. We drove downtown with no plan but a camera.
In the past three years, I’ve learned a lot about the way I’m made, how I’m created to worship, what brings me back to my true center. Having a camera around my neck helps me see. I used to be embarrassed about that, worried that I always looked like a tourist even if I was in my own town.
Our life is always speaking, but we rarely have the courage to listen. What are those things, it says, that make you come alive? Good girls are afraid of those questions – afraid because what if those things our life speaks of are not the things I think I’m supposed to be doing? We stay busy should-ing and ought-ing and trying to do life right.
And we’re so busy doing life right that we let it pass right on by.
I remembered that last Friday night when The Man and I had nothing to do but wander. I remembered how our lives speak to us in similar ways. I remembered the slow pace we prefer, the margin we long for, the community we crave.
We passed people from other seasons of life whom we haven’t seen in years. We lingered on the sidewalks. We laughed and connected and took slow steps. I paused to take a picture of a light post. This feels like worship, I thought to myself. God made us to glorify, and when we slow, laugh, savor, linger, listen, and become – we worship. What else would it be?
You might be a good girl if you think worship is something you do in a building.
***
I’m writing at Bloom (in)courage all week and today, I’ve posted an excerpt there from Chapter 1 of Grace for the Good Girl. The books are, as we speak, shipping to bookstores all over the country. I got a box full just yesterday. Hallelujah.
Just finished reading your excerpt at (in)courage, and it has me so excited for the book release! Still trying to figure out how to get it here in Switzerland, but I will prevail:)
This post touches on something I’ve been praying about a lot lately. The guilt that comes along with wanting to be the good girl and be busy, busy while inside longing to feed the parts of me that come alive when I’m pursuing the things I love and not the to-do list.
Oh, dear. Not sure how much longer I can wait for this book!
Your words, sprawled out on pages, will help bring us all to freedom-living again and again, even you (again). For, it’s always there for our taking–this grace–and when we grab ahold of it, our lives worship and that is beauty! I thank God for crossing paths with you–for your story that resonates with me and helps me to See and Trust in His Grace…for us ALL.
God made us to glorify. I’ve been mulling over that very thought in the last two weeks, realizing that my ultimate purpose is to worship Him and wrestling with what that looks like, how I worship most in my own life. Love these words, thoughts and photos.
Yes, it is not ok to sit and knit as it is not REALLY productive. It is merely leisure. Sigh.
Oh, my knitting centers me.It is like a meditative process- My husband even WANTS me to get my knitting time in each day. (He is so kind to treat me better than I do myself.) Knit, my friend, it is very productive. (like everything in our lives-in moderation of course)
“Good girls are afraid of those questions – afraid because what if those things our life speaks of are not the things I am supposed to be doing?”
So strange, and yet so freeing to come to a blog and read about yourself.
Hello. My name is Kimberly, and I spend my life should-ing and ought-ing and trying to get things right. I am a good girl. A good girl who reads this post and feels that tug. That, “Oh. I want to live a life where I truly feel free to be me. Truly feel free to worship Him how He created me. No fear. No holding back.”
Long comment to say, so loved this post. So love the grace flowing from this place.
Okay, a few bits of comment randomness…
I love the truth here. I think my idea of worship has a tendency to be too constrained; I like yours better.
That sounds like my idea of a near-perfect evening. I used to work in a lawyer’s office in that very downtown…back before husband and babies and crazy. Such a nostalgic place for me. : )
Also, your quote by Parker Palmer reminded me of a book of his I read: The Courage to Teach. It totally changed my approach to teaching and freed me up to be myself in the classroom. Loved it.
My dh works at the publishing company that publishes your book so I am priviledged to have it in my hands right now. Your first chapter had me reading bits and pieces outloud to my dh and dd. Love your writing and creativity and especially your description of living with the dysfunctional family of Fear, Worry “and their immature, screaming baby Anxiety…” Can’t wait for moments thoughtout my day to continue reading. Congratulations Emily!! How exciting for you.
~Karen~
Emily – got the book yesterday and all I could do was smile until my cheeks hurt! Yaaaay God and Yaaaaayyy You
For me worship is anything that draws me close to God… creativity usually is a form of worship and I have found so much freedom in taking pictures too – it forces me to see the wonder all around me
ummm… yeah. i used to feel funny about clicking photos and carrying my camera everywhere. but it does help me see… the little bits of His glory splashed everywhere. i think Tuesdays helped me along that path too…
amazing what you see through a lense. I love these shots!
This is powerful –
“afraid because what if those things our life speaks of are not the things I think I’m supposed to be doing?
I find myself in that very spot right now as I fast approach 50 (I still look 29…) and as my third of three children enters his senior year of high school. I am redefining myself, how I worship, how I do what I do, and am daily, desperately asking God to show me what’s next.
It’s scary.
It’s exhilirating.
It’s very freeing!
So glad to read here that I am ok to re-think my life! Such a good girl…..
I am soooooo “right there ” with you! We ended up going “God-crazy ” and adopting number four! I am learning to nurture myself unlike I ever knew was possible. I am good at giving grace but in trying so hard to be a good-girl I could never allow it for myself.
I agree with you- Its so freeing!
I wish the 29 year old me knew what she knows now…….
LOVED reading the excerpt from your new book on (in)courage. It’s such a tease, now I can’t wait to read the whole book!
Emily, I feel as though you’ve gotten right inside my skin. Thank you for having the courage and the passion to write this book. It will be a gift.
I feel like you have crawled inside my brain, pieced together swirling thoughts and packaged them neatly in a book just for me! Thank you for peeking out of the cage and deciding to fly away. So excited to continue learning from you.
Oh the time I’ve spent “should-ing and ought-ing” and being afraid of those questions. I’m starting to face it head on now, this giving up on the “try-hard” life and it has me scared. But there is a place of peace that is coming with this fear too — where I’m starting to believe that the God who created this universe sees me too.
I read over at (in)courage today and absolutely cannot wait to get your book!
Oh, I can’t wait to read your book. I think I’ve always been too concerned by who I should be, and still am having trouble figuring out who God made me to bed. I have such a hard time with those personality surveys, because I just don’t know the right answers! I’m learning it’s okay and right for me to spend time dwelling on what I enjoy, what I’m good at, for His glory. Blessings, and congratulations on the upcoming book!
You have such a beautiful heart that resounds with this Good Girl.
The last line is my favorite … You might be a good girl is you think worship is something you do in a building. Going to read a bit of chapter 1 (yay!)
Savoring what you’ve been given can truly be worship: it only takes a moment for your heart to connect with the Father in gratitude.
Love the simplicity of God’s plan for worship … just turning back to Him with a grateful heart when we pause long enough to see all we have to be thankful for. Thanks for the reminder.
Love, love, LOVE this. And yes, noticing and trying to capture with a camera is a form of worship – good, true worship. Thank you for this book you’ve written. And a special thanks for quoting Parker Palmer today. In 8 months of blog hopping, yours is the first place I’ve seen him referenced – and he is just so, so good. All of this – lovely. Thanks.
you put into words what i just can’t.
but it’s so why i love photography.
can’t wait for the book; can’t imagine how you feel!
xo
I love this post, Emily! I feel the same way about taking pictures. I was starting to feel guilty that I was taking so many pictures of my son…as if it was taking away from my time with him. Thank you for reminding me that taking photos is my way of noticing, of taking in things that I might otherwise miss. And especially, that taking photos is a way of worshiping, just as much as singing, dancing, etc. can be. I am so thankful for my son, and I do feel that every time I click my camera to capture some of his sweetness I am offering up a prayer of thanksgiving as well.
I’m so grateful for the way your share so beautifully and full of grace. Thank you!
hey sweet friend. i liked feeling like it was a game to guess where each pic was taken…i’d give myself an A+ if you want to know how it turned out… so, i guess it turns out, i might be a good girl.
loved your last line.
Oh how I long for margin in my life. I am busy from the minute I wake up to late in the evening. I have no time to spend with my camera anymore. I so need to make some changes, but where?
Thank you for this beautiful post– just when I think you’ve gotten to the heart of the thing, you press in deeper and better!
Thank you for this …I am being challenged in this area… it feels like I’m so timid and scared about being who God’s called me to be…I need freedom! Excited for the adventure ahead…I know God is busy changing me and getting me out of my legalistic mind sets and “good girl” habits!
Your book sounds amazing!!!
Thank you so much for writing this post, Emily. I, too, see life through a camera lens these days and was recently told that by taking photos, I was “missing the moments”. On the contrary, your beautifully written words reminded me that capturing the moments via the camera is a way of noticing things we would otherwise miss. I can’t wait to read your book! May God continue to richly bless you!
Blessings,
Susan
I learned several years ago that worship is worship is worship. The feeling inside cannot be contained by a building. And was never meant to be…
Emily-
Last night I had a ten-year celebration date with my husband and in the middle of my own tourist town, I stopped to snap a picture of a lamp post! And I DID feel foolish and it DID feel like worship. And mt husband watched and smiled and said, “I just love you” and it felt nice to be ME.
I just had to come by and share this.
Last night and this morning, I was encouraging some women. Not in huge ways. Just sharing with them. And in that encouraging, my heart felt so alive. And in that moment, I remembered what you had written here. And I thought, “Hey, that’s worship. When I encourage others, that is worship to me.” Cool.
Blessings, to you, sweet Emily. Watching my mailbox for more encouragement from the Lord via you and your new book.
Oh my goodness. You live in G’boro, don’t you? I just happened upon your site and “Grace for the Good Girl” video…which made me cry. So the book must be awesome; I plan to get my copy (and one for my sister and best friend). How do you know what’s inside my head and we’ve never met?
I saw your downtown photos and literally squealed out loud. That’s MY downtown! (And I would recognize Alex’s cheesecake anywhere!) What a fun, sweet little gift from God….familiarity between two of his children who’ve never met. He’s in the details! Blessings, my Triad sister. 
— Teresa
I am just now reading this… after I made a post that reveals exactly this about me:
“Good girls are afraid of those questions – afraid because what if those things our life speaks of are not the things I think I’m supposed to be doing? We stay busy should-ing and ought-ing and trying to do life right.”
Yes. This is me. And I am reading your book, and God is using it so much, and I am so thankful to you for writing it… for being vulnerable enough to write it, and for listening for God and listening TO God.
Thank you.