I saw it first, feathered out on the hot pavement of the parking lot. It was instinct to put my body between him and it. It never occurred to me that he, a four year old boy, may find a headless bird endlessly fascinating.
It takes a lot of work to keep my little world spinning. I want to keep them safe and happy and well. I want dots to connect and kids to feel secure and bows to be tied up. But sometimes the dots look more like squares, the kids feel insecure for no reason and you can’t even find any string, much less a bow.
When things feel big, I crave small.
And it makes me want to do something radical like pray without ceasing, like breathe in Jesus and breathe out belief. When I do that, I’m pulled into this moment, feet heavy upon only the ground where I stand. Not the hot pavement of tomorrow or the dry earth of yesterday. Just this day, this one. And nothing changes except everything. Because when I do this, God whispers into the depths of my invisible, I am the only big there is. I AM. Like magic tetris blocks, perspective drops into place. I have to choose smallness and when I do, I feel free.
***
(Today I’m chatting it up about Grace for the Good Girl over at Karen Ehman’s place. Join us there?)
thankful for your truth, friend. He is the only big there is…i love that. it truly sets things into perspective.
“breathe in jesus, breathe out belief” —> that’s what i will be doing today. thank you friend.
What is it about “Oh, Gross” that causes little boys to run to it instead of away from it? Life really is about perspective. What I call a problem, God sees as an opportunity to bless me. Love, love, love my amazing I AM.
I’m relishing the smallness myself. I’m talking mustard seed smallness. I will gladly remain small if it means my God gets bigger in the process. I’ll gladly be the seed if He gets to be the tree. Love you and your heart, Emily!
love this Emily… you remind me to celebrate the small places today
I forwarded this to my daughter who is waking up in a new dorm room on her first day at college. Might be just the words she needs……might be just the words her momma needs, too……….Thank you.
Thank you, thank you for your lovely words today!! I’m feeling lately like I need to wrap my head around all the ‘big’ stuff and feel like I need to be able to handle all of the ‘bigs’ of tomorrow right this moment. Your words could not have been more clear to communicate that all I can do is ‘small’…and that is perfectly OK.
Beautiful truth! I needed this today.
Just yes.
I love your word pictures. “Like magic tetris blocks, perspective drops into place.” I love that description. And, man, do I relate to the wanting to control and make everything right. “I am the only big there is” – I hope I can live in that today.
Thank you for sharing- your words bring life and happiness into my soul today
that photo makes me smile
i love your breathing. when things get big for me mine is similar… to breathe Jesus in and breathe me out.
the pushing myself out is the tough part…
Sweet Emily…
I wanted to take a moment and thank you for attending SS this year and for offering up your story of publication for attendees. I wasn’t able to attend the session, but I ordered a CD and have just finished listening to it. I’m just so moved. So moved.
I’m someone who came to the conference with few expectations for my proposal. I’d been down this road before, and the subsequent rejection I experienced was a deep wound to my writing dreams. This go around, my perspective was different. I’ve been through a rough season–a cancer season–and was unsure as to my reason for coming to SS this year. That being said, I had a thought about 6 weeks prior to the conference that I might write something about my cancer journey. I scribbled my mess on paper, broke every rule about “how to have an effective 15 minute publisher meeting” (I’ve heard Jeannie at least 4 times!), and simply cast my heart onto the table with each publisher. I have no idea where it will end up; I have few expectations, but there was some initial interest.
Listening to you today, renewed my hope for the road ahead. Yes, I’ve built a bench–this particular one for cancer patients. And something tells me there’s a market for it. So, I’ll keep pressing on, pressing into the heart of the Father, and endeavor to believe him for more than what I’m currently holding as possibility.
I thank God for the “small” in my life. Much has been reduced for me in this last year of living, and this has been a great gift of grace to me.
Blessings and peace to you as you continue to sow grace for all of God’s girls (even us middle-aged ones)!
peace~elaine
Love, love, love this. Speakin my language girl…
breathe in Jesus, breathe out belief … beautiful!
Beautiful words of encouragement. Thank you.
I’m so glad He is the “I Am”. Everything fades into the background when my eyes are fixed on Him.
someone told me this morning to breathe in the spirit. Now you have repeated the same thought I love how you added breathe out belief….. this my friend is very good. Just keep breathing. I can do that……
Beautiful words for my aching heart today. Thank you!
Your writing is always stunning and stops me dead in my tracks. My soul needed this today!
Love you. Really do. Muchly.
Beautiful!
Is it bad that the first thing I thought about when I read “headless bird” was Dumb & Dumber? {“Pretty bird, pretty bird…”} : )
In all seriousness, I’ve been craving some smallness too. My little world has felt far too big, my worries far too heavy. Thank you for perspective, for encouraging small and still in the midst of overwhelming and crazy.
I have been a long-time reader of your blog, but I’ve never commented before. Today, though, I just needed to let you know how much this spoke to my heart. I have a precious friend who is going through some legitimately “big” tough stuff in her life right now, but I’ve been struggling about what to pray for her. God so spoke to me through this. I need to pray some “smallness” for her. She needs to be reminded that HE is “the only big there is.” Thank you for this perspective. This will be my prayer.
i don’t know how to say it differently (i’ve said it so much before), but i love the way you write. and your photos are always perfect. and i wish i’d been a bird (a bird w a head, thank-you very much) on your shoulders when you were there, giving of your heart, witnessing for all of us who can’t or don’t go.
xo