tuesdays unwrapped

“One of the most important lessons I have learned over the past few years is how important it is to have time and space for being with what’s real in my life — to celebrate the joys, grieve the losses, shed my tears, sit with the questions, feel my anger, attend to my loneliness.”

Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms

I may know the importance of holding the truth of my life in my hands, of looking at it from all angles, of seeing what is. But there is a distinct difference between knowing the importance of being with what’s real and actually being brave enough to resist reaching for what I wish to be. It takes courage to sit with the reality of the questions, the desires, the sorrows and the joys and to simply let them exist on the surface in the presence of God. It takes time, a willingness to see, and the discipline to rest in the midst of it.

That’s what we practice here on Tuesdays. We take this day, whatever it holds, and look for the gifts. Sometimes it’s easy and quick, the gifts bursting from every common meal and conversation. Other times, the gifts seem to be hiding under deep piles of dust and broken things. But it has been my experienced during this practice that we generally find what we’re looking for. Might you join us in looking for the gifts today?

We would love to read about your Tuesday gifts by inviting you to add your link below. Be sure to include the permalink to your Tuesday post. If you need help to link up, this page will hopefully answer all of your questions. Be sure to link back here to Chatting at the Sky so that others can find our community. Welcome to Tuesdays Unwrapped.



for your weekend


May you know beyond doubt or shadow that you are not alone. Let the cold air cut sharp through your worries, the December sky beckon your soul out of its hiding place. Wrap your hands around that warm cup, laugh loud in the celebrations, and believe quietly in grace and truth. When you feel yourself being pulled into the anxious future, let Him gather you gently back to now. When your heartbeat quickens at the thought of your tasks, surrender the list into His hands and see what happens. When you don’t have an answer, let it be enough to walk humbly with your question. Enjoy your weekend, friends.

Leaving a quick note here to say my calendar has finally been updated. There you will find a few events, both past and future. I say few on purpose – I am a ridiculous homebody, but I love this message and connecting with women enough to venture out to meet you when I am able. And if you missed them, a few of the interviews I’ve done are available to watch there as well.

when you can’t see the forest for the ducks

I was trying to get a photo of the duck. See her (him?) there in the upper right? I crouched down low, my back up against the rough bark of a tree, and I tried to capture the silhouette of that duck. I took lots of photos of her but didn’t like any of them. I was too far away – even my cool zoom lens wasn’t zoomy enough. As I quickly scrolled through the shots, I nearly deleted them all. But I was on a walk and I wanted to keep going. I’ll just delete them later. Then later I forgot.

Until tonight when I uploaded them to my computer and scrolled through again. I didn’t even notice the duck. Those trees! That light! The reflection! Except for that duck, it’s like the whole world is upside down. Magic.

I’m so glad I was lazy and didn’t delete them when I thought they were useless.

Sometimes I chase ducks and miss the art. Have you been chasing any ducks lately?

The winners from Mondays giveaway of Grace for the Good Girl are Rebecca, Laura, and Christine.  Email me your address at emily(at)chattingatthesky(dot)com and put “winner” in the subject line. I hope you enjoy the book! If you didn’t win this time, Sarah Markley is offering 3 more books today on her blog! And she’s got some great words to offer those of us who struggle with this try-hard life. Enter by 9pm PST tonight.

tuesdays unwrapped

We can get lost in nostalgia sometimes. Hearing my daughter pronounce her r’s so perfectly, watching the way she reads with ease – sometimes these milestones that should be fully celebrated only serve as reminders of those days when they were small and couldn’t do these things for themselves. I used to swim around in the memories more than I do now. But memories can be sweet little liars. They don’t always store up the whole truth of how things were.

Today, he builds with blocks. Today, he wants me to build with him and make up stories and weave the road for the cars through the town. Instead of being swept away by how big they are now or how much things have changed, take a few minutes to consider what is real and true this day – the lovely, the messy, and the unexpected. That’s what we are doing on Tuesdays in December. Look around, because one day not so long from now, this very day will be one of those days you look back on and treasure. Might we practice treasuring it now instead?

We would love to read about your Tuesday gifts by inviting you to add your link below. Be sure to include the permalink to your Tuesday post. If you need help to link up, this page will hopefully answer all of your questions. Be sure to link back here to Chatting at the Sky so that others can find our community. Welcome to Tuesdays Unwrapped.



favorite things :: 10 free gifts to give and receive

I love a good favorite things list. The Nester hosted a linky last week inviting everyone to share a list of their own. I even began a traditional one, complete with Gussy headbands (they’re cute and don’t give headband headache!), Mrs. Meyers Iowa Pine Liquid Hand Soap (your hands smell like evergreen all day!), and Season One of Parenthood (my current favorite show). As I continued to add things, I couldn’t come up with enough thing-type things and my favorites began to sound more like experiences anyway. So I changed it, and remarkably, now the whole list is free.

1. Wake in the morning, just a bit before normal, or linger at night for a few minutes more. But do it once, and you’ll likely do it again. Take his hand, look him in his eyes, and ask, How can I help you today? Tomorrow?

2. Pull one of those books right off the shelf, one you’ve been meaning to read. Open it up and give yourself thirty minutes with it. Or fifteen if that’s all you have. Let the poetry, the images, the ideas of someone else sink down as deep as time will allow. Then tomorrow, do it again.

3. Make a fire with wood and everything. Wrap the kids in blankets, roast the marshmallows, smell the wood, tell the stories, breathe in winter, and give thanks.

4. I’ve talked about building your bench here before – doing that thing that makes you come alive, finding those plans you have tucked away, that message that burns deep, that art you can’t stop thinking about – find a bench to sit upon and consider the one you’re building.

5. Leave your ear buds at home and take a walk in the quiet. Walk with your back to the wind, or straight into it if you really want to feel alive. Listen to the thoughts that come to the surface and refuse to talk yourself out of them. Simply, receive them as they are and let the Lord receive you.

6. Let the mess be so you can, too. Have them bring the toys down from their rooms, spread the blocks all over the living room floor, lay on your stomach and play along.

7. That person who has frustrated you? That hurt you can’t let go? Those words they spoke that cut deep and wide and made a mess of things? Consider what it might mean to regard those who have hurt you not according to their mistakes in their flesh but according to their wholeness in the Spirit. Is it possible?

8. The next time she shares her burdens with you, look into her eyes and hear what she’s actually saying. Don’t rush ahead and think about what she ought to do or what advice you might have to offer. Simply, listen and give the gift of understanding.

9. Act justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly.

10. And so I have to end with this – my favorite thing from this year that you can actually hold in your hands. This one isn’t free, but it can be for you if you leave a comment telling me one of your favorite things. I’ll enter you to win a copy of my book. I’ll choose a few winners before the weekend. Can’t wait to hear things on your list, friends.

a question for the desperate

“When we make room for silence we make room for ourselves … Silence invites the unknown, the untamed, the wild, the shy, the unfathomable – that which rarely has a chance to surface within us.”

Gunilla Norris, Sharing Silence

We have slowed. After ten years of marriage and as many in youth ministry, after three kids, three houses, two books, lots of trips and a year-long heartbreak, my family has slowed to near stopping. The kids are still in school, the dinners still are made. But The Man has been gifted some time away from work and I have met the book deadlines and now we slow. And we are slowed. And so we wait.
We have never been the parents to have our kids in lots of activities. We are not the first to volunteer and we don’t typically overcommit with yes. Still, even for us, this slowing has revealed my addiction to activity in a way I didn’t expect. We think of war as something obvious and perhaps valiant, something for the brave and heroic. But maybe the most deadly is the war invisible, the one we live everyday without knowing, the one we forget to fight because it looks like home and it smells like dish soap and it sounds like a rerun of Friends in the background.

An invitation has gone out but only the desperate can hear it. What is it you truly seek? I’m not sure the words expect an answer, rather they invite us to carry our questions with us. Let them percolate and roll around in the chaos of the soul. Don’t fear the loose ends so much. Give yourself permission to actually be where you are, and to be so in the presence of God.
I never realized how much energy I spend in figure it out mode. I am fascinated by people, by what makes us come alive, wilt, break, desire, lash out and love. In some ways it makes me a better artist, this social curiosity. But in all the figuring and connecting of dots, I might be missing the point. Slowing invites the mystery to make His home with us. Quiet cuts a path through the chaos in a way study and figuring and reasoning simply can’t touch. The Man and I pray with silent hope. He looks into my eyes and his gaze lingers. He sees me now and I see him and we are filled with gratitude for both the sweet gifts as well as the suffering. Because all of them lead us deeper into the mystery.

And so it is December, the month of Emmanuel - God With Us. He does not wait to come until we get it right, clean it up, figure it out, or break it down. He is simply with us in love. I have to ask, though I don’t necessarily expect an answer (unless you want to give one): in the most honest place where you are today, what is it you truly seek?

tuesdays unwrapped

Sometimes I love this life too much. I revel in her gifts, long for what I can’t have, grasp for what I’m losing, think real life and happiness are found in all the gifts rather than the Giver. Other times, I long for heaven so badly I think my heart might cave in. I see this life for what it is – a moment, a breath – and desire weaves her way up and out from deeper places than I even knew existed. And in those times, the earth fog lifts and it’s as if I know fully even as I am fully known. But the clarity doesn’t visit long, and just as I try to document it, the stuff of life and laundry come back down like a curtain, leaving me wondering how the mystery ever felt real at all.

We plow through the day, head down, eyes shut tight, hands busy, heart whirring, ears pounding with running lists and broken hearts and don’t forget the milk at the store. Our prayers are mostly talking and our hearts are mostly longing for something, anything other than this fast-paced life. And my job isn’t even one of those typically stressful ones like brain surgeon or president.

I consider the gifts hiding in secret but wide-open places. And when I do, He slows me and invites me into Himself. These gifts are not me, He says, but they are evidence of the mystery. What can I do but see them, pick them up, turn them over, and unwrap them? The grass is flattened in my front yard because they’re learning to play soccer. The washroom floor is covered in blankets because the whole family stayed with us. The desk is piled high with books and papers because I get to do the job I love.

This life is bursting with the mystery of God. Find the gifts that point to the Giver and be curious in your longing. Do not discount any season you might be in. Do not wave away that deep desire for more. Begin with the gifts at your feet and see where they take you.

We would love to read about your Tuesday gifts by inviting you to add your link below. Be sure to include the permalink to your Tuesday post. If you need help to link up, this page will hopefully answer all of your questions. Be sure to link back here to Chatting at the Sky so that others can find our community. I look so forward to reading your posts. Welcome back to Tuesday.


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