for those of you who don’t comment on blogs

Dear Blog Reader Who Has Never Commented,

I have had this little letter in my drafts for a while now and I typically don’t talk about bloggy things around here. Lately, though, I’ve thought of you more because some of you I’ve met in person. And nearly every time, you mention a specific blog post that has meant something to you, followed by, “I know I never comment. I’m so sorry.”

Please forgive the weird look on my face. I’m not great on the spot, standing in front of you. It takes me some time to process what I think about things. But I think I’ve finally figured out why your apology makes me squirm and so I’m here to tell you something: Never apologize for not commenting on this blog.

I love comments. I love when you talk with me and one another in the comment box, let me know things that move you and things you can relate with. That is definitely one of the beautiful things about blogging is the community developed through conversation. It’s true, I would be a little sad if there were no comments at all. I read every single one. I comment back when I can, sometimes in the comment box, often in an email.

But only a very small percentage of people who read blogs actually comment. Around here, it’s less than 5 percent.

There is no right way to be a blog reader. There is no expectation that you will remain subscribed, active, engaged on a blog. You have a lot going on, laundry to tend, hearts to mend, papers to write, friends to see, busses to catch, meetings to run, sidewalks to mosey, fresh air to breathe in deep. Or perhaps you simply have a private, quiet heart and would prefer to keep your life off line.

I take great delight in creating space for your soul to breathe. I feel I’ve finally found my stride (that only took six years). This is my gift to you. This is me, opening my hands, offering some perspective, hope, and a small dose of courage. So after all of that, I always get a bit frowny inside when someone apologizes for not commenting because what that says to me is some part of you feels guilty or worse, you think I expect it.

If I meet you in real life and you tell me you read my blog, I do not think it’s creepy or stalkery if you never comment. I write things on the world wide web. There is not a super secret password required for you to read it. This is a public space and you reading it is normal to me.

I love hearing from you. And to you who comment regularly, I am so thankful. But please, for the love of all things important, don’t waste any time apologizing for your faithful silence. I appreciate that you are there, reading, coming back. Thank you. And perhaps one day we will meet face to face and you can not apologize to me in person.

With much gratitude,

emily

Comments

  1. What a great perspective you have. I know some bloggers who get very upset that they don’t get comments, and I know that my numbers don’t match the number of comments that I average. I guess I always try to remember I didn’t start this to get comments (though I love, love, love them!)
    Bella Michelle @ Southern Somedays´s last [type] ..Bloom where you are Planted…

    • Thanks, Bella. I know it isn’t the way everyone feels and I do love getting comments, too. But I know way too many people who love to read the blogs but don’t want to comment and I think sometimes they feel bad or guilty about that, in some strange way. So I thought it was time to talk about it. I know not every blogger would agree with me.

      And also? Thanks for the comment ;) Wasn’t sure I’d get any on this post. ha!

      • Emily, I am such a novice I am not sure if this is even how you comment. I have sent you a few emails, and by God’s grace you have responded. I have been reading you for a year and at the urging and purchasing of a domain name by a friend I am entering the world of blogging. I say entering because I have yet to post. You were the first blogger I read and are still my got to person. I thank God for you! Grace

        • Awesome, Grace! yes, this is exactly how you comment. And thank you for your kind words.

        • I really appreciate following your’s and other’s sites, but if it comes across to me as too commercial, I won’t comment… because I don’t feel that my comments will have any true effect.

  2. My first time on your blog, and what a great way to start . . . thank for you for the grace of this perspective.
    Andi´s last [type] ..On Cleavage, God Boxes, and Anne Lamott – The Sunday Salon

  3. Emily, I’m not sure if I have ever made a comment on you blog, but you are one of my favorite writers. I lead a women’s group at my church and when sending emails I will use quotes from your blog (with credit to you of course :) .

    Thank you for your heart and words,

    Arlene

    • Thanks so much, Arlene. It is the highest compliment when someone shares the words I write with those they care about. Share away!

  4. Hey Emily,

    I’ve been reading your blog for the past year or so and I am consistently thankful for it. This is my first time commenting, and I’m not sorry for it:)

    As a writer, myself (self-proclaimed), I love your style, your voice. Thank you for so courageously sharing your heart with everyone out there. I try to do the same at my blog: http://www.lifeenespanol.blogspot.com; although, I mostly share for close friends and family.

    Currently, your blog has been a strong source of comfort and calm in the midst of a life that is in the forest. You help me see the clearing and focus less on the trees.

    So, thanks, Emily.

    May the Peace that transcends all understanding be with you today and always.

    Much Love,
    Lauren

    • What beautiful words, Lauren. Truly, thank you. I’m so glad you said hello – your words are so encouraging.

    • I’ve never even seen your blog before, stopped by via the link your sister posted :) But after reading this comment, I’m itching to start blogging again. “Currently, your blog has been a strong source of comfort and calm in the midst of a life that is in the forest. You help me see the clearing and focus less on the trees” How incredibly beautiful. Describes my life for the past year, actually – but I’m in the clearing now thank God. Will be checking out both of your blogs now for inspiration and motivation to get the words trapped inside of me out into the universe. I’ve got lots to say :)

      Be well,
      Heather

  5. I just started reading your blog and I am really loving it!

    I so agree with you so on this..due to lack of comments on my blog sometimes it leaves me wondering if anyone ever reads it..and then I lose the motivation to keep blogging, but I love it, so then I’m in a situation where I don’t know what to do..LOL

    Have a wonderful new week!
    Abigail´s last [type] ..All On A Spring Walk

    • Thanks, Abigail. I think it’s pretty typical across the board that a very small percentage of readers actually comment on blogs. So you are not alone!

  6. Hi, Pretty Hair.

    I like this. And you know what’s even weirder? When people in my “real life” see me and feel compelled to mention that they “haven’t kept up with my blog” or “don’t really read it anymore.” I NEVER have a good response to that and it makes my cheeks warm. Because, like you said, there’s no expectation of them to read. And hello, it’s awkward.
    Flower Patch Farmgirl´s last [type] ..Bikers Make Me Cry

    • yes, this happens to me, too. It somehow is indirectly embarrassing because in a weird way, it somehow implies that they think I think they read every post.

      And I do not think that.

      And I can’t wait to read your post “Bikers make me cry” Awesome.

    • FPFG, thank you for commenting – I enjoyed your Bikers post, but was even happier to come across your post from Friday, April 13, 2012, “Support for (Adoptive) Parents.” I linked to it from my FB page. Thank you for making this available!

  7. OH THANK YOU!! I just got a knot jerked a little tighter in me, and I needed it. Thank you for the beautiful perspective!
    Stacey´s last [type] ..Wrapped Up.

  8. I love this: “I’m not great on the spot, standing in front of you. It takes me some time to process what I think about things.” This is why I rarely comment. I’m processing. Thank you for giving me things to process while I eat my oatmeal. :)

    • you are so very welcome. I’ve always disliked my need for long processing, but maybe that’s what makes me a better writer. So I guess it pays off, in a way.

  9. Been thinking about this lately too…so freeing to know that we write just because it’s a gift….
    Charissa Steyn´s last [type] ..Some of My Favorites!!

  10. indeed. i heard something interesting at the festival of faith and writing this week. someone said that vainglory is a writer’s vice. unlike pride, it feeds on feedback and praise.

    we love comments, yes, but that’s never why we write–or what we expect. i love how you’ve framed your writing as an offering and gift.

    it feels like that here:)
    suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter}´s last [type] ..grace like legalism, peace like fighting well

  11. I don’t know about apologising because I do like leaving comments sometimes and love that it’s easy on your blog. Things download fairly quickly (even with your pics) on my phone, which is where I read, and as I’ve got poor coverage I appreciate that as it prevents me commenting on some other blogs. So thank you for that. Anyway, what does trouble me is that I gain so much from you for free. It’s outrageous! You give amazing, really regular content and I feel I should pay! I suppose I assume it’s a kind of hobby you enjoy as it’s not a ministry with a ‘donate’ button or the kind of blog which is obviously commercial. Anyway I want to pay… But I also wouldn’t want to be rude and send you money like you’re a charity…

    • Um, that’s hilarious. If you really feel compelled to pay for something, just go buy my book. Maybe that will make you feel better.

      ha!

      I do see the blog as more than a hobby – but no, I haven’t monetized it. At least, not yet. But that is why sometimes I’ll go days without posting. There is no pressure to post, no ads needing content. I like the freedom of it.

  12. <3 … :-)

  13. i’m just downright awkward anyone talks to me about my writing. i love, love, love finding out there are people like me that need some time to process what is being told to them. and in that painful inbetween i’ll sit there squirming until i find a non-graceful out of the conversation.

    part of what I love about writing is getting to pour my heart out, and then hiding from the thought of other people reading or processing it.

    i do love when people comment, or tell me when something means something. after all, i write to share the human experience….but yet, i completely understand why people don’t feel comfortable.

    as always, thank you, friend.
    Tara / pohlkotte press´s last [type] ..Sisters of the Rising Moon

  14. Absolutely beautiful. I’ve found that letters are such an eloquent way to express thoughts and I appreciate your beautiful words today. Thank you for your perspective and for creating this place to breathe.
    Blessings,
    Rachel
    rachel @ finding joy´s last [type] ..Grace – It’s Needed – Day 6 {Intentional Parenting}

  15. I needed this today, Emily. I was just feeling guilty for not being able to keep up with blogs over the last few weeks.

    We don’t write to gain comments; we write to let our souls breathe and to hopefully encourage others with the truth that sets us free.
    Katie @ simply[his]´s last [type] ..God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for…

  16. Great post! I’m new to blogging, and I hate that empty feeling I sometimes get when no one comments. The feeling is a bit similar to losing a few pounds and no one takes notice. Isn’t that so silly?! I see my blog as a way to minister to others, and if I’m in ministry just so that others can affirm that decision for me…then, not only am I sadly mistaken but I am in it for ALL the wrong reasons. Thank you for sharing your life and your perspective.
    Lindsey Crawford´s last [type] ..Getting Your Praise On While You Exercise! Who knew?!

  17. Thanks Emily. I truly appreciate the freedom to just enjoy your writing (and I do).

    From a girl who rarely comments but gains to much insight and encouragement,
    Pat S.

  18. My friend, thank you so much for your grace-filled perspective. One of the reasons I am “taking a break” from blogging is because I got to a point where I felt God may not even be using me. Partly because of the lack of comments. Now… of course I don’t blog to GET comments, but it was just one of those things that got me down. My perfectionistic nature beats me down so much! So during this break, I’m seeking God and asking Him to clarify His vision for my writing…. and to help me RE-remember that I do it for HIM, not for man’s approval. Your post was very, very timely. As always, thanks for allowing your life {and your voice} to be used, Emily!
    Paula Ebert´s last [type] ..I Blame Eve by Susanna Foth Aughtmon

  19. Hi I’m new here and I just want to say “I like you!!!”.

  20. Perhaps the creative process of blogging should probably be reward enough all on its own, but I’ll admit it is kinda disheartening when you toil and fret over blog post after blog post and there’s only rarely any validation that anyone has even read your ramblings, much less that your words might’ve actually struck a chord – or a nerve – with a reader. A glaring lack of comments makes it hard to maintain motivation. Sure, Google stats and such can tell me if there’s traffic to my site, but comments are what matters.

    I consider commenting to be another facet of being a decent member of the blogosphere. So, even when I may not have anything especially witty or wise to say, i still try to leave comments just so the author at least has a little validation that his/her efforts and ideas are not in vain.
    Rob O.´s last [type] ..The Green, Green Grass of Home

    • I’m not a blogger, but Rob’s thoughts are exactly why I’ve been the person apologizing for not commenting. While I do not have the time or motivation to comment on most blog posts, I often do feel guilty about it. When it’s obvious that the writer took the time to pour his/her heart into a post, and when that post really had an impact on me, I guess I feel like the polite thing to do would be to acknowledge the writer’s efforts. In my own mind I am not a very polite blog reader.

  21. Dear Emily,

    this is my first time commenting on your blog haha, just wanna drop you a note to let you know that I love to read your blog very much. i am not a christian but really enjoy reading your entries and seeing things from your point of view. I love your posts about your volunteering aboard trips. I am from Singapore :) i like the way you can write so well and and connect to your readers :) ) i am also a volunteer who helps hearing impaired children.

  22. Love this! Thanks for being so open and full of grace ! Love, Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations. Oh, and I heart this place to breathe.

  23. What a wonderful post! You put into words exactly how I feel on the subject. I love my comments and it makes me smile each time one shows up in my in-box, but just knowing that I have readers is nice, too. Thanks for writing this.
    laxsupermom´s last [type] ..In Bloom

  24. I like this post since it’s a good reminder to let you know when I forward a post on to a friend which I’ve done so many times after reading your words. Thanks and keep writing!
    Lorelie´s last [type] ..Top Five Values

  25. Beautiful post … But not just for readers but other blog owners. I am one of those that can get sad about not seeing reader comments; I don’t like feeling as though i am talking to myself. BUT .. You are exactly right. These are busy people… Mothers (maybe a few fathers here and there) with lives just as busy as mine. If they have taken time out to read something of mine — beautiful. I need to appreciate those precious moments they chose to spend at my site and not begrudge the fact they may or may not have had time to comment. That is just self-indulgent silliness.

    Thank you so much for this post.

    • Yes. And isn’t it better to have people comment because they just want to and not because they feel guilty if they don’t? I love me some comments. But I wanted to speak specifically to those who don’t feel comfortable commenting or simply don’t want to – just to say hello, I know you’re out there, and I don’t have an expectation of you.

  26. i’ve often said that reading someone’s blog is like peering though their living room window~
    every now and then, you atleast gotta say hi! :)

    i appreciate the grace to not feel obligated.
    but also, the thoughtfulness that you actually READ the comments.

    knowing i’m not just a stat makes it feel more personal to me.
    i like feeling friends with the person. instead of just a reader! :)
    amber´s last [type] ..Thursday, April 19, 2012

    • Yes, i know what you mean, Amber. The comment box is a fun place to hang out when I can. And I do read every comment and am so thankful. Just can’t always respond as I wish I could. Glad you popped in today!

  27. Hi Emily,
    I heard you speak at She Speaks and then subscribed to your blog. I can’t remember whether I’ve commented; I may have. But not usually.

    But I DO want you to know that in my busy day with 100s of emails and dozens of subscribed blogs, yours is the one I WILL read when I don’t have time to read others. Yours is so refreshing and poetic and airy yet full.

    Don’t go get a big head, haha (teasing) because I know that you know that we know that the Spirit gives gifts, and he gave you words. (Good one, God, she’s a good steward of your good gifts.)

    Way to go for being faithful and full and then spilling out over onto us readers with abandon and art.

    Sincerely,
    Leslie
    Leslie´s last [type] ..love like izzy

    • Hi Leslie! Thanks so much for saying hello – your words are so encouraging. Thank you for saying them this morning. I’m so glad to know you’re reading – and your description “airy yet full” – wow. That’s nice.

  28. Just beautiful, Emily.

    And your blog really does feel like that…a space for the soul to breathe.
    Kat´s last [type] ..Your 15 Minute Transformation

  29. I love this, Emily! I have that same frowny feeling when someone apologizes to me for not commenting. I’m going to share this with my readers.
    HopefulLeigh´s last [type] ..Top 25 Lady-Bloggers Who Love Jesus and Happen to Be Single

  30. I used to try so hard to get comments. I recently went through a “screw it” phase .. no one’s reading this nonsense so I won’t bother phase. But like some of the comments above, I love writing so I always come back to it. When I went through my last “I quit”, 4 people noticed and asked me when my next blog was coming out. Initially I was angry .. why not comment if you are reading them? Then I realized like you pointed out, there are so many different types of readers. Some feel compelled to comment on the blog, some send me a private note, others an email. I measure my success now by how well I can convey what I want to say and how much writing my blog has helped structure my thoughts and message that I want to convey.

  31. I just love your blog – I’m not a big commenter on any blogs but I did have to post here today to tell you how much I love your graceful spirit. You write in a way that makes me feel like I’m reading an email from a friend I haven’t talked to in ages, but as soon as we talk, we pick up right where we left off. Thank you for sharing your words:)

  32. Hi Emily! I’ve had the pleasure of following your blog for over a year, possibly two (I follow so many blogs I can’t keep up). Your words always resonate deeply in my spirit. I do try to comment when I can. But you are right in that the number of comments does not always equal the number of readers. When I feel bad about why no one is commenting, all I have to do is visit my stat page (which I rarely ) and see that people are reading!

    Keep sharing your heart here Emily. It is so beautiful1
    Barbie´s last [type] ..Fresh Brewed Sunday: {Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus}

  33. Well said!! I used to think that non-commenters were rude but then I evolved and now I realize with all the blogs I read, there is NO WAY I can comment on all of them. And of course I do not assume everyone can comment on mine. So again… well said! :)
    BigMamaCass´s last [type] ..This week in “People I want to throat punch…”

  34. Your words, as always Emily, are simply beautiful! I do comment every so often, though yes, there are times when, even though I make the time to read all the wonderful blogs I follow, sometimes it feels like it just takes that little bit too much time to leave a comment – unless I’ve been particularly moved, there is a response that is just leaping out of my chest, or I want to ask a question!
    Thankyou for writing these words … and for gathering the courage to publish them!!
    And … Thankyou for the ‘space for [my] soul to breathe’!!
    Much Luv & Hugs!! … a faithful follower xx
    Larissa´s last [type] ..April FNSI results

  35. Christina Baker says:

    Dear Emily,
    Thank you for today’s post it did my heart a world of good. I love your blog it brightens my day tremendously because you are real and honest. This is my first time to comment to you and let me tell you why…there are are blogs I follow and they flat out tell you “do not expect a reply or comment from me if you reply to a post”. I follow certain blogs because I like what they have to say but when the person that puts such a “disclaimer” in their blog it makes me feel as if they are too busy or too “big” for their followers. I’m not talking about celebrities, I’m talking about normal, everyday Jesus girls. Please keep sharing your heart – I love it.

    Hugs & Prayers :)

  36. farmer girl says:

    Thank you.

  37. It’s true — there are so many reasons why I don’t always comment. But I know I love the community that it brings. :) I love it when you share your heart, Emily.

  38. Thank you for writing this! I am in the process of reading your book and follow your blog. I often feel guilty for not commenting, but just as you said, people are busy. I often read your blog on my phone in that quick moment while the kids are happy watching a favorite TV show and then just as i’m about to comment…….boom! Someone needs me……a diaper needs changing, someone is fighting over the remote, the dog is barking at the doorbell that just rang, you name it. Then my good intentions are thwarted and again I find myself feeling a twinge of guilt. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to read your blog and gain perspective to press on and change, mature, and grow without feeling the guilt anymore. You truly are a blessing!

  39. I’ve always been a silent reader…until today! Keep posting. Your non-comment posting folks do love to come back day after day!

  40. What a beautiful, generous letter, Emily.

    I’m one of those bloggers who believe in the power of comments – I love them, as we all do. But I also get that many don’t, for reasons of their own, of which they don’t need to justify or apologize for. Many times, I, an avid commenter, read a post and leave without leaving a word. Not because I cannot relate to the post, or that I did not like what I read, or that I couldn’t be bothered. Most times, I soak up the words, think, that was lovely and felt like I had nothing more to add to that conversation. I still appreciated reading it as much as I do others, where I comment.

    So thank you for this.
    Alison@Mama Wants This´s last [type] ..The Second Time

  41. Emily, Here is my comment about not commenting…actually I will get to it in a minute. First of all thank you. My soul breathes with your words. Sometimes I feel like we are kindred spirits because your words resonate with me so much. I would love to do what you do and I am a good writer and good with words but do not have the courage that you do. I first began reading your blog because of a blog you wrote about writing. I come alive when I write and feel like a huge burden is lifted when I am done. But my words are in a journal that I someday hope to pass down to my kids not for the public to read. I do not have your courage but we do share a passion for writing, for life, for being small and letting God be big. He is my breathe of life each day and I am praying for more courage everyday. So about not commenting. Sometimes I share your blog with others on my facebook hoping that your words would bring encouragement to my friends too. Often though, with a blog that really meets me where I am on my journey with Christ I print it out. I reread it. I highlight and make comments on my copy. Then I stick it in a binder that I have for things that bring inspiration and encouragement to me. You have a special section in that binder. I hope you don’t mind!

  42. Emily,
    I have been following your blog since you spoke at She Speaks last summer, and although I do drop an occasional comment, I can relate to being the reader who is moved yet silent – perhaps because sometimes when we are moved deeply or prompted to introspection by another person’s words, the best response is simply to nod and absorb. This post confirms that you are blogging for genuine reasons. You will probably never know how many lives you touch. Isn’t that amazing? Thank you for the gift you share with us in this space each week.
    Becky K´s last [type] ..What Is Cleavage—And Other Questions Kids Will Ask

  43. I’m more of a quiet reader (mainly because everything resonates with me so much and I just need time to process it all) and I remember having that conversation with you at lunch about commenting. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.
    Melissa´s last [type] ..Bridal Shower Invites

  44. Thank you for writing this. I was expecting a quasi-lecture on all the things we (mostly) non commenters are missing out on. Instead I received an invitation to allow myself to be a little more myself. :)
    Marijke´s last [type] ..You Know Where To Find Me

  45. It really is amazing that this space isn’t monetized yet. I would click on an add for every post that inspires me! (And around here, that would be many!) You do such a great job. Thank you!
    Erica {let why lead}´s last [type] ..Baby Steps to Indoor Plants

  46. Love this. You know, I’m one of those who comments on almost every post you write. Sometimes I feel like a groupie. : ) Everywhere else, I’m hit or miss, mostly miss. Truth be told, I read very few blogs anymore but I do feel a twinge of guilt for not commenting sometimes. Totally need to get over that.
    Scooper´s last [type] ..On Mothering and Decision-Making and Feeling Inside-Out

  47. Thanks so much for this post. I am a frequent reader, non-commenter. And, when I do want to comment, I usually don’t because I feel guilty about not commenting in the past. I so appreciate your perspective. Thank you.

  48. Wow! Well, you sure received a lot of comments on this post! I just wanted to tell you how beautiful this post was. I’m glad you received a huge response on it. I’ve been blogging for a year and I feel blessed whenever anyone comments. I try to engage my readers, hoping they will participate openly through the “devotional” process of devotions. It doesn’t work. However, I get people who tell me on other forums just how much they loved my posts…so I feel your confusion. I’m just glad they’re reading and acting in one fashion or another.

    For quite some time I thought because I wasn’t receiving any comments that no one was reading my blog. Then I started blogging for Gospel for Asia in November. I was truly shocked when they wrote me in January to inform me that in only two short months, fourteen children were sponsored directly through my blog! That spoke volumes to me and showed me the “heart” of my readers.

    Thanks for sharing this with us!
    Tristine´s last [type] ..The Focus of God’s Love

  49. Oh, thank you for making me feel normal. I always want to look at the floor when someone tells me they read my blog and then apologizes about it. and I always thought it was because I was embarrassed they knew me with my whole heart fully exposed and I don’t even know their first name.
    But you’re right. that’s not true. Truth is, I’m touched they want to spend time with my heart open wide. and after they’ve seen me and all my quirks, they still come back. It’s completely humbling.
    and I don’t need a comment to tell me that…
    Nikki´s last [type] ..The Fruit of Joy

  50. So true! I always feel blessed when someone decides to leave a comment. But it only stresses me out when they don’t have a way to get back in touch with them, to continue the conversation, to respond. I wouldn’t want them to think that I don’t care for them. I just don’t go back and read posts that I have already commented on so I never leave comments to my comments, if that makes sense. But I have developed the most amazing friendships over the years with people who just started with a comment so that it very important to me. But I love all my readers whether I know of them or not. Such a great post!
    Enjoy the day.
    Erin
    Erin Prais-Hintz´s last [type] ..Wrapped, Stacked & Layered: Fanciful Style with a Tesori Twist

  51. Well said! I popped over here from Mama Kat’s Facebook, and I’m sure I’ll be back :)

  52. On and off, I have been reading your blog since 2008…still, I hear words you’ve written and shared ECHOING in my spirit. So thanks for letting me comment. And thank for speaking so that the Spirit can echo through you
    Jasper {crunchylittlebites}´s last [type] ..gimme some lovin’

  53. “I feel I’ve finally found my stride (that only took six years).”

    Thank you.

  54. I myself love the comments. It is kind of validating for me and my blogging, but it isn’t what keeps me going. (It certainly helps, though).
    Lisa´s last [type] ..A Reacquaintance

  55. Thank you for such a sweet letter…usually, a “dear….” post of this type is kind of sarcastic and snarky and sometimes even kind of mean.

    Most of the time I don’t comment because I am reading a day or two after the post goes up, and anything I wanted to say was already said by other commenters….or said so much more sweetly, smart, eloquently or super spiritual sounding than I ever could be. Love your words of encouragement…thank you for sharing a little bit of your heart with each post.
    Kar´s last [type] ..a month of choices

  56. Love that those two swings look like two happy faces. Love your smile and the hugs you send our way every day – word hugs of comfort and assurance and hope and joy. Love that you have found your stride and welcome us to walk along side you a little bit every day. Love that you are willing to give to us without expecting anything in return. (I hope you do get a bazillion blessings in return) Thank you!
    Maureen´s last [type] ..April Birthdays

  57. This was a blessing…
    I comment sometimes on blogs, but often just read & sometimes pass things along to others in an attempt to bless.
    Your book changed my views of some things… and I’m sharing it around my church in another attempt to bless.
    Thank you.

    Blessings on the journey~
    Deb´s last [type] ..Spring Oddity

  58. I believe yours is the first blog I ever had enough courage to comment on. :-)
    I am so glad I met you at Relevant last year. You have no idea what it meant to me to walk into the lobby and have you stand up and speak to me by name before I even said who I was. (though I do wish we had been able to actually sit and talk awhile)
    Your blog is a breath of fresh air in my inbox.
    Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home´s last [type] ..But Thanks Be To God

  59. from someone who rarely comments, (I fall into the private, quiet heart category), I love what you have created here. It is absolutely as you describe… A place for your soul to breathe. I love your perspective, and the beauty of your words, and your photography. So, thank you, Emily.

  60. Oh man, I am so convicted as a blog writter right now. Not that I go begging for comments but it is hard sometimes to put your heart and soul out there and feel a lack of response. But you are right. There are more people than I can probably imagine who are reading those words. And I need my heart to be in the right place. I write to share and process and even if no one reads or responds, I am still better for that opportunity to reflect and process. Thank you for this kind reminder of humility today! Xo
    ashley urke ¦ domestic fashionista´s last [type] ..Decorating With House Plants

  61. ” I write things on the world wide web. There is not a super secret password required for you to read it. This is a public space and you reading it is normal to me.”

    I love this. I’ve kept a blog off & on for years, and that is exactly my attitude toward people who read what I write. I adore it when people comment, but don’t in any way hold it against them if they don’t feel compelled to do so.

    Thanks for writing here what I’ve been thinking about but never figured out how to say. Well put, as always.
    Ally Bean´s last [type] ..The State Of Our “To Do” List

  62. Wow, I so love your perspective on life. What a great space you’ve created here.

    I admit I start wallowing in self-pity sometimes when I don’t receive comments. Almost like you feel it’s a popularity contest of sorts… you see another blog that has 12 comments that day or another blog that has 4 or another that has 250 and you see yours still stuck at ZERO. It’s hard to swallow that sometimes. Then I remind myself that I’m writing for myself and for God anyway, that it’s a bit of a journal for me and a place to share pictures with family members that I know never comment because they don’t know how to, and then I remember to settle myself down. It’s no contest. But I admit I still always long for one, and then it’s like my day goes according to how excited I am that I’m “liked” in the blogging community… because I got ONE comment… from someone I know in real life.

    Hahaha!!! Anyway, point being I think we can easily trick ourselves into thinking it’s a big deal for people to comment because everyone else’s blog seems to get comments. But really, it’s not a big deal, and it is great to even have the space for it, and there’s certainly no requirement to reading it in the midst of crazy daily living. Actual living. Not constantly living virtually and commenting on every blog ever. {Yes, when I started blogging, I kid you not, I tried to do that…}

    *sigh* Live and learn, right?! I really, really appreciate hearing your perspective, not just as a blog reader/commenter but as a blog writer who needs to get a grip on reality. ;)
    Rochelle´s last [type] ..35

  63. I am usually a quiet (but appreciative) reader too. If I ever comment on a blog, it’s yours–but only occasionally and just to quietly say thanks. Many of your posts have spoken to me, but particularly the posts from 31 Days of Grace, which I still revisit when I need a little more of a place to breathe than usual. The Jello post makes me want to cry and to be a mother and to not mess it up. It’s beautiful, and I am so glad you shared it. But then I met you a couple of months ago and instead of telling you that, or that I admire your photography, or that I think your kids (and dog) are adorable, I pretended that I didn’t really know anything about you (because I don’t know the rules! If I only know something about you from your blog, do I really know it?!) and then I felt like a stalker for knowing the Jello story and loving it and pretending that I was meeting you for the first time! Upon further reflection, I decided I was a little star struck. I bet this happens to you bloggers more than you realize! I am grateful for you and your openness here. Thanks, Emily.

    • I met you a couple of months ago?! What?! Where did we meet? And to answer your question, yes. If you learn something from the blog, you really know it. I promise it isn’t weird. You are not a stalker if you read my blog. That’s why it’s there, for you to read! And enjoy. And the highest compliment is for you to remember that Jell-O story – love that.

      Thank you for saying hi. Now tell me where we met!

      • We met at the Women’s Retreat at Community Bible Church in High Point. Katie H, who was my roommate in college, seated you beside me at the Friday night dinner. And I said, “so…what do you do?” which was a weird thing to say, both because I already knew what you did and because I never ask people that question because I never know what to say when they ask me. I’d rather ask, “what’s your favorite color?”
        I started following your blog from My First Kitchen a few years ago. I knew Kendra in real life before her blog but I’m pretty sure I’m a little star struck by her too. She’s awesome.

        • Oh, and P.S. That weekend was wonderful. Thank you for speaking. You were delightful and honest and fun. Thank you for letting God use you here and as a speaker!

          • You are kidding me. Jess, it was such a pleasure to meet you! Thanks for your sweet words. And I think when you asked me “What do you do?” I said “The laundry.”

            Geez.

  64. Okay, so I was all “should I comment on the non-commenting”?? Haha, yes. I think I should. I totally feel what you are saying! I run into people all the time, out and about, that say the same thing. I am thankful, as are you, that I have touched them in some way with the words God has given me to share. Thanks for this!
    Christie Elkins´s last [type] ..College Birthday Party. (daily photo)

  65. I’m commenting because you wrote this to me (and others) and because I understand, both as someone who “feels bad” for not commenting sometimes and as someone who understands not wanting others to feel guilty.

    I read almost every post here, Emily (and have for about 2 years). (And I comment on very few. I’m not really sure why.) And I want to thank you. For always writing from your heart, and for always genuinely welcoming our hearts.
    Caroline´s last [type] ..Weekend Inspiration: Love and Faithfulness

  66. Excellent post. The important thing is that they’re on our blogs and reading regardless of whether or not they comment. Simply by returning day after day they speak more without saying a word.
    Jason´s last [type] ..Beheaded like John

  67. Spot on Emily (how very “British of me!). But I must confess – I have sometimes felt sad when I’ve written my heart out and there are so few comments. Then….blogger switched to a new format the other day and I could see for myself that there are lots more readers than there are those who leave comments (spell check wouldn’t let me write commentors). I’ve felt better ever since. However….I am really trying to work on not feeling one way or the other about comments. My motivation for beginning a blog was to somehow use my writing as ministry. If I am true to that, it doesn’t really matter what the numbers are. This little ole “need-for-approval” heart just has to get over it.
    Love this – and your sweet spirit.
    Linda´s last [type] ..Rivers in the Desert

  68. This is very well said. I have the same sentiments. I don’t think I could have put it into words, but this is how I feel about my space too. Well said!
    Leigh Ann @ Intentional By Grace´s last [type] ..Comment on I Surrender My Marriage Because If I Didn’t … by Nikki

  69. Very well said. You can touch hearts even if you don’t know it. I don’t always comment just because sometimes all I’m thinking is “amen!” and I feel like that would be repetitive ;) .
    Miranda @ A ThankFULL Heart´s last [type] ..Becoming Me Again

  70. As a blogger {who likes comments}, I feel badly when I don’t comment on other blogs. But honestly, sometimes I barely have time to read a post – and if I have a spare moment, it’s quicker for me to share that post {via FB or Twitter} than to comment.
    And in a way, I think that’s a better use of my time. After all, which is more of a compliment – saying thank you or spreading the message?
    Ashley Pichea´s last [type] ..Monday Musings {04.23.12}: Coffee Shop Chats, Making Time, and Counting My Gifts

  71. Sweet Emily…your blog to me is a place of beauty, of artistry and grace. And I click over in my reader to read your unique voice, real and genuine every time. Thank you for the words in this place. You are a mentor to me as I try to find my voice, as a writer and a follower of Christ. It was nice to meet you in person last year at Relevant, and I look forward to seeing you at She Speaks and Allume this year…and I promise, no apologizing!! May your week be blessed!
    Jacque @ Mercy Found Me´s last [type] ..How the Invisible Becomes Visible Again {Naming the Gifts and Giving Thanks}

  72. Wow SO MANY comments, lol!
    I’m not sure the last time I left a comment, but your blog is in my list of favorites on my blog- and I cruise over here about every 4-6 weeks or so (my job is at the computer so, you know…) However, you have blessed my day every time I did read your blog.
    I like to write and paint and I am a lover of God too, and your words capture thoughts so poignant and sometimes profound.
    I get few comments on my blog, but I know that everyone visits for different reasons. As for yours, I kinda think there are those who maybe feel they can’t respond in the beautiful way they wish to, and as it often is with spiritual awakenings and insights, the words of response are not easy to come by without mulling it over a while.
    Never think that you’re not making an impact or getting something meaningful through.
    Illoura´s last [type] ..First Lesson w/ video

  73. Love this! I get very, very few comments…so I get this BUT

    I am the sort who ALWAYS comments on something I read (so I’ll comment about 5 times a day- I read and write fast with the kiddos around me!)….it got me in ‘trouble’ a while back from a fellow blogger

    http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com/2012/03/does-jesus-see-me-as-bothersome-tiring.html
    priest’s wife (@byzcathwife)´s last [type] ..A Day in the Life of a Lutheran Pastor’s Wife- a guest post

  74. I know me… I can get a little bothered if there are “little to none” comments on my own blog. Truth is there comes on a lot of second guessing. Which is unecessary. Absolutely.

    When I think about it… how many blogs do I read (almost regularly) and don’t comment, all of the time, either? It happens. It sure is nice though to have some regular “comment love” along the way. Encouragment. It’s necessary!

    SO.

    Thank you – always – for your insight, encouragement, honesty, wisdom, simplicity, grace and something sweet to savor.

    It is always (to me) a breath of fresh air to come by here. ALWAYS!
    Bevy´s last [type] ..the blessing of family

  75. This is my first comment on your blog I believe though I subscribe and read it. Thank you for this! I dislike the comment game of trying to get visits by leaving strategic comments etc. and the guilt from not commenting. I really enjoyed this post and your heart behind it. :)
    Bethany Scofield´s last [type] ..A Quick Skirt

  76. Wow! Lots of comments here!! I do comment but lots of times when I don’t it’s due to time constraints or just that I feel that a comment would not satisfy the longing for more conversation that the post may have brought up in my heart so I just kinda sign off with a sigh until the day when I can finally do so in a live setting since we are wandering in a wilderness of sorts right now!! I do so love your blog and your many in depth insights. Your writings most often fill my sould! Thank you!!

  77. Your words here show a wonderful attitude of holding things loosely and encouraging your readers to determine in their hearts what they will give without a feeling of compulsion (2 Corinthians 9:7). So refreshing to read that you’re trusting God to work through your writing even if you don’t see the results for yourself. And just look how many comments. :)
    Darcy @ Message in a Mason Jar´s last [type] ..All in a Day’s Drive

  78. So beautifully stated and represents so many of our hearts.

    What a privilege we have of writing and being listened to!

    I know that I find comfort in your courage, and I’m thankful for this space, Friend!
    QuatroMama´s last [type] ..1 Fish. 2 Fish…

  79. Oh, Emily, what an awesome post! Beautiful, heartfelt and perfect! You have put this introverted girl’s mind at ease, although, you have also encouraged her to post this comment!!????. So since I am here….love your blog, love your book, read you daily or in clumps if I am having one of those weeks! Sending a hug and a prayer your way….

  80. I don’t always comment on blogs but I read them. I love that you wrote about this tho as I used to be worried about having followers or getting comments but I realize that I am doing this for me and yes on my business blog I am going to take it as it comes and enjoy the journey without worrying about everyone else. We can see the stats so we know folks are reading….that is enough. Thanks for posting this post as it was very thought provoking….
    Kim´s last [type] ..Easter Brunch

  81. I love you. That’s all. :) xoxo
    Jessica @ The Mom Creative´s last [type] ..Free $25 Paper Coterie Gift Certificate for All Subscribers

  82. Jennifer says:

    This is yet another reason why your blog gives space for my soul to breathe. I comment sometimes, but more often I need time to process things. I read a post, then fold laundry or water the grass or fix dinner. The thoughts that percolate seldom make it to a comment box. By then my kids are working on homework or my husband is checking his e-mail. Another day dawns and I move on to the next thing–wiser perhaps, but not having joined in the conversation. Thank you for your understanding–you are a blessing!

  83. Thank you very much for shifting the lense a bit on this subject we do wild dancing around in our hearts as women, as bloggers. That quiet silence in life can be bitter sweet . I do need to say to myself again and again “audience of one”. It is all for an audience of one. He is the One whose heart we want to bless. And then he will sweetly handle the rest.

  84. I love this blog – it inspires me, it touches my heart and it makes me look at things differently and you change me and I really appreciate it.
    Blessings,
    Patti

  85. Wow, when I read your title I was so afraid that you were going to yell at me ;) I read all your posts, and will continue :)

  86. Well, I guess you were talking to me!
    Glad you don’t mind I am not a commenter–however I do read, and quite often-
    :)

  87. oh, this is an amazing post. love, love, love it!

  88. I am a quiet blogger. I talk about what I read to others. I have your book to and never comment so just remember there are those that are encouraged that you dont “see” on here! Thanks for the post~

  89. I read every post. I pray for you. I read your book. And, I comment only occasionally. BUT, you are why I LOVE the blog world. Thank you sweet Emily! Angela(Gretchen’s mom)
    angela´s last [type] ..Wizard Of *OZ!!!

  90. This is my first time to your blog and I want to thank you for the clear prespective you just gave me. I’ll be back!
    ~pat
    Pat´s last [type] ..And the sign says…

  91. A dear friend of mine says, “Sometimes I have to think about what I read, before I can respond.” That’s me and your blog. So often you make me think. Occasionally I respond. :-)

    Now that I am about to start reading your book, I’m sure I’ll be thinking a lot more!!
    Beth Ingersoll´s last [type] ..Updates from Kenya

  92. I love the phrase … “faithful silent.” So sweet to describe our private friends. I, myself am never silent. :-)
    Glenda Childers´s last [type] ..Fun with my sister Sue and a giveaway

  93. Stonybrookscrapper says:

    I am so thankful to you and your many sister bloggers for sharing your hearts. You touch many lives and mine is one of them. Be blessed!

  94. Thank you for “permission” not to comment because I’m not a big commenter. But the weird thing is that’s how I judge my own blog – whether people comment ??? I need to remember your words. :-)
    Brenda @Triple Braided´s last [type] ..Pray to Be Used Big? Or Pray to Be Faithful?

  95. you know when people say to do what you love? well, i love LOVE commenting on things…blogs, facebooks, conversations that I ease drop. Is there a job for that? because that is what I would love.
    Meg´s last [type] ..This Week’s Menu

  96. Dear Emily,
    I am one of those readers who almost NEVER comment but I get so much out of blogs like yours and your post today is so appreciated! It is true what above commenters say. Some bloggers get kind of upset or insulted if you don’t comment but I hardly ever know what to say and am quite shy. Instead, I feel so enriched and filled by reading the blogs that I do and I so appreciate them that I would be devastated if they all went private just so people who don’t post couldn’t read them. Thanks so much for this post. It is so freeing!

  97. I read two blogs every day, if I read any. Your’s and your sisters. Sometimes I want to write you long letters, not comments. You always speak to me. I love your spirit. You have a gift.

  98. This is beautiful, Emily. Very well said. THANK YOU!
    {And your post about what to do when you’re not the favourite has been good for me to mull over this week.} :)

  99. I guess this is me de-lurking. (: I love reading your blog and so often your words are such an encouragement. God uses your words to tell me what I need to hear. It’s awesome. (:

    Thanks for being real and vulnerable on here. You rock. (:

  100. I love this post! Every single thing about it. I found you through a few other blogs that posted this on FB and I’m so glad they did.
    Taryn´s last [type] ..A New Wreath For the New Front Porch

  101. You are so sweet! I so enjoy your writing, just how you put words together and the ideas you always bring up.
    Thank you,
    karen:)

  102. I love you Emily. LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!!! What is also amazing about your stewardship as a blogger is when someone has the awesome privilege to meet you in person and mentions a comment they left on one of your posts- you remember that comment! I know that first hand. You are such an inspiring blogger in more ways than one.
    LaDonna @ Santa Beso´s last [type] ..Gift List #40-57

  103. I may have commented before, I don’t recall. Your so gracious about people like me who tend not to comment.

    I have been reading your blog for sometime now. God has really used it, along with your dad’s blog, to stretch my faith and help me make some big changes in my life. I’m grateful for your honesty and willingness to share. I just wanted to let you know that and say thanks!

  104. First time visitor here – Following In My Shoes sent me and I am thankful she did! I have thought long and hard about this same thing – and here I thought I was the weird one for really, TRULY not caring if people comment! Now of course I LOVE it when people take the time to do so, but my feelings are not hurt when I get none, nor does it sway me to stop writing. One should never start blogging to get comments – that will never last. I like this for the flip-side perspective, too. I’m not a commenter. Mostly because I will read posts on my phone and it’s a serious pain in the rear to write anything longer than “LOL” or the like. Other times I just read and then get distracted by my four little hooligans. Point being, I am a faithful follower of many blogs, but comment maybe once or twice a month – and it’s nothing personal. It’s just lack of time, really. I appreciate you perspective!
    Lindsay Y.´s last [type] ..2.5 Years {Our Kansas Trip}

  105. Why do I feel so convicted?! Thanks for helping me to see this topic another way.Food For Thought For Sure!
    Comeca´s last [type] ..~My Pantry~

  106. What a sweet surprise this post was! I’ve just started reading your blog in the last couple months, and did order your book for a gift, and one for myself too! I’m really enjoying it, just the first 3 chapters have blessed me so much. I have to admit, though, when I saw the link to this post at your sister’s site, it made me sigh. I braced myself for another admonition that “if you can’t comment regularly then you shouldn’t be reading b/c it makes you a selfish ingrate.” Not that you would EVER say it like that, LOL, but I’ve read it on other blogs recently. Instead, Your grace was a sweet surprise, like I said! :0)
    Thank you!

  107. HI Emily! I haven’t commented in awhile, but I’m here! I am hoping to see you in October, when I attend Allume! ~Di
    Diane Bailey´s last [type] ..Persevere

  108. What a lovely, gracious post. I have also had many awkward moments when ‘real life’ friends and acquaintances aren’t quite sure whether they should tell you they read your blog; like they’ve peeked in your personal diary or something. So funny! I also have few commenters relative to my traffic; and at first, I was kind of like, “What the heck am I doing wrong?” (especially when the bigger blogs have 150+ comments within minutes of a post going up!) But I now accept that this is pretty rare, and, like you said, time is a precious commodity. I am grateful to have readers that share theirs with me each day. ~All the best, Kerri, A Pop of Pretty

  109. Discovered you through thegypsymama’s tweet today. I love your perspective. It’s so true–it’s AN HONOR that someone would take the time to read a blog. There’s no shame in staying in the shadows and reading! Thanks for stating it for the rest of us.

  110. That post may have been written just for me. I sit quietly, breathing in your words and images, letting them settle deeply. All your words resonate with me. Perhaps that is why, in two years of reading your blog, I have commented only once. Perhaps I speak for others, or maybe my “private, quiet heart” is entirely alone in this, but breaking the stillness to comment seems almost destructive. Which of my words could possibly encourage you the way your words encourage me? What could I say that another commenter has already said—first and better than I ever could?

    Well, today was my day to break silence ;-) . I appreciate your gifted words–and the gracious way you speak them–more than you know. They are beautiful art that paints hope and colors courage in my soul.

  111. This was such a great post. I linked to it from a reference on FB from My 3 Little Birds. Can’t wait to poke around and read some more of your blog. I may, or may not, comment! ha. However, I am pinning this one to refer back to later as a good reminder.
    Tricia @ Take 10´s last [type] ..Dear Kroger

  112. Love, love, love to read your blog. Wish we were best friends because I would love to share my heart with you. I pray for your continued blogging and growing more like Hesus.

  113. This actually gave me a lump in my throat. Thank you for being such a great proponent for freedom – in so many ways.

  114. I’ll admit that I have somehow become a blogger who writes in hopes of receiving comments. I’ve even contemplated putting a “will blog for comments” graphic as sort-of a tongue-in-cheek way of begging, *ahem*, I mean, asking people to comment. But, you know what? This post has changed the way I view comments. I mean, sure, when comments are lacking, I feel like I’m the girl in the corner talking to herself in the the midst of a crowded room. But, I would never want people to start commenting out of obligation. If anything, I would want them to feel compelled to comment because they connected with me on some level.

    By the way, since we’re on the topic of commenting, anyone out there know how to set it up so that replies to comments are emailed to the individual who left the original comment? Like, if someone does choose to comment, I always like to respond in the comment thread, as I feel it encourages conversation. How do I make sure they are aware that I have responded? Or should I just email a copy of my response {when an email is attached to their profile}? Thanks in advance for any and all help/suggestions.
    Alana @ Domestic Bliss Diaries´s last [type] ..Pinterest Interest: New Uses for Old Things

  115. If I haven’t commented before,I am sorry,because I love reading your blog.I get it through my emails also to remind me,thank you for all you post.

  116. Amen! I feel exactly the same way, so I totally understand when I get a meager 25 page views and zero comments. Truth be told, the comments are the most inspiring motivation to keep blogging.
    Katey´s last [type] ..Preaching the Gospel to Myself, Daily

  117. I love this post so much! I agree with you, word for word and I even shared your post on my blog. You read my mind but, said it better than I could have. Thank you!
    Angela´s last [type] ..A Week in the Life-Tuesday’s Words and Photos

  118. Love your writing (and your outlook on commenting)! I think it’s a blog’s community that either encourages, or discourages, commenting and this community seems to be very conducive to commenting.
    Amy´s last [type] ..Don’t Frustrate Your Website Visitors

  119. Thank you. I sometimes feel guilty for reading all the different blogs I follow without ever leaving comments.
    I LOVE your ‘for your weekend’ posts. They make me happy!

  120. Love reading your blog and love reading your sweet comments. This post is brillant! And such as yourself. I call your blog my “fresh air” blog. It’s where I come to breathe again. Thanks for always putting it out there so perfectly.
    Lala Sams´s last [type] ..I Need Your Help! – DIY’ers, Home Design and Antiquers

  121. I loved reading this and you expressed it brilliantly. It looks like a lot of people heard what you had to say. I normally do not leave comments either, especially when there are a great deal of comments. However, it is refreshing to hear heartfelt, warm and fuzziness from people. Keep up the great blogging.
    Sue´s last [type] ..ReadingEarly: RT @stoneteam1: Educational 9 minute how-to video by top online marketers listing 7 multi level lead development strategies http://t.co/

  122. every time I read your blog, I feel like saying “I love you!”, but then that really might seem creepy and stalkerish. =) But really I do. You make me smile. Probably mostly because grace makes me smile – and I am so prone to guilt – and so your words always make me want to jump on a chair and celebrate.
    shelley.´s last [type] ..The Book Diaries

  123. Great, great perspective. I think a lot about how I want to be a woman who gives grace and life. So many conversations I have are riddled with guilt or expectation. Perhaps part of it is just my perception, but often the disappointment is real. I have come to the determination that I do not want to bear anyone down with the feeling that they aren’t doing it right or that they don’t understand or that they’re living a second rate life or that they’ve failed my standards. NO. I want to search for the beautiful in them and point it out. Encourage them and cheer them on. Because that is what my soul thirsts for. You have done just that with this post. Thank you.

    P.S. The other day I wished you were my real life friend. I thought of how you’ve written on being an introvert in ministry, and I just wanted to sit down with you and pour out my heart. :) My husband and I work with youth, and I am an introvert, and he thrives on being around people, and gosh…it creates a lot of conflict sometimes. So thank you for writing about that. I think I need to read that book on introverts that you’re reading.
    Lara´s last [type] ..When you’re alive from the one spot you have

  124. This is wonderful, Emily!!

    In this vast world of blogging, it’s so easy to define ourselves by numbers, isn’t it? Funny, though–as I just wrote “by numbers,” I was reminded of those paint-by-number sets my grandmother would buy us when were little. My cousin could always make the picture of the horse standing by the stream look good. Me? Not so much. I wonder why I think that I might be better at being-defined-by-numbers than at paint-by-numbers? Hmmm.

    Next time I see you in person, I will be very intentional about not apologizing to you for my times of not commenting. You know what, though? I always AM sorry when I miss one of your posts. So if I say I’m sorry, I’ll be apologizing to myself that there might be something of yours I didn’t read. Your writing is worth reading. :)
    Richella at Imparting Grace´s last [type] ..Guest room re-do (or If You Give a Blogger a Cookie. . . )

  125. WOW! That was a lot of comments! I wanted to add that I love this: “If I meet you in real life and you tell me you read my blog, I do not think it’s creepy or stalkery if you never comment. I write things on the world wide web. There is not a super secret password required for you to read it. This is a public space and you reading it is normal to me.” I have people come up to me regularly looking sheepish and saying, “I read your blog and I feel like I know you really well.” They feel like intruders. I always tell people what you said: “I BLOG! I KNOW that I am exposing myself! It’s OK!” It feels good to be known. Awkward sometimes, in an introvert’s world, but good.
    Sarah at SmallWorld´s last [type] ..Weekly Wrap-Up

  126. For someone who has never commented on your blog and rarely comments on anyone else’s blog, I just want to say “Thank you!!!” I often feel guilty for not commenting, but it feels good to hear you acknowledge that life is busy and that it’s okay. I’ve got three little ones now, with a newborn, and I hardly have time to sit down at my computer ever, but I love the few moments I get to read encouraging blog posts by other women who love Jesus and I want to thank you for giving me the permission to just enjoy and receive without the pressure of writing something in return. I hope to participate more in the community of moms online more in the future, but for now I will be one of the faithful silent. :)
    Jacquie´s last [type] ..Happy 2 Months Eden

  127. Great post. I’m here from Bye Bye Pie. June loves you and shared this post with all of us.
    Tee´s last [type] ..FOUR GENERATIONS

  128. So perfectly expressed!

  129. I am italian woman. I partecipate with my bad english and my language “31 days”. I am not sure to understand all your word in this post, but i write in this virtual home months ago. In Nester place, in ispired room, and i read Ann Voskamp with much difficult.
    Different language is a problem. Zero answer is more difficult then a silent readers
    So…i am a woman with history different beacause my world, my country is different. a mood religion is different.
    In Italy if a woman off catholic church speak in a assembley is a problem. Yes a problem.
    so please when you invite others to open, (i thank for this) please the same for you with other language.
    It’s very difficult if we are the same under the same sky.
    Thank you so very much
    Brunella

  130. Hi Emily,

    I’ve been reading your posts for a few months and find such a sense of grace and community -even though I don’t respond. “Busy” truly IS the word. Thank you for sharing the gift of your writing with us. And for comforting those of us that enjoy without jumping in.

    Keep them coming!

    Missy

  131. I am pretty new to your blog & stay behind on reading (everything). Just wanted you to know how blessed I am by your graciousness & the tone of your blog. Your attitude is precious to me in a world where there is lots of negativity.

  132. I think you may have more comments on this one post than I do on my whole blog, well almost. hehe But, it is always impressive when one post can generate such passion that so many people leave feedback. One day, I hope to have the magic formula as well. :)
    The Pear Lady´s last [type] ..Houston means that I’m one day closer to baseball

  133. Emily,

    Thank you for such a wonderful post. I think I have read every post on your blog… and with three young children, I have never had the time to leave a comment. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for dedicating yourself to writing and sharing your perspective on life… your words have lifted me on multiple occasions. Although we have never met, I consider you a friend… someone to look to when life is hard and I need the little reminder to open my soul to God. You are an inspiration. Thank you for all you do.

    :) Angie

  134. First time here; followed a link from…hmm. Somewhere that escapes me now, I guess.

    I loved this: ” I feel I’ve finally found my stride (that only took six years).”

    I’ve blogged on and off for years, but now that I’m writing books, blogging is just part of the package. So I’m trying to slog through it and get frustrated because I just haven’t gotten there. But I think it will happen someday; that day when I come into what I really want to say in just the right way to say it.

    Thanks for the hope. :D
    MK Jorgenson´s last [type] ..Interview and Giveaway!

  135. Comments mean community to me. I love receiving each one and the accompanying dialog, as a blogger. As a reader and “commentor” I look for to a little convo with the writer/blogger as well.
    Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to hit a “like” button to respond to some comments?
    Diane | An Extrardinary Day´s last [type] ..Everything {made} Beautiful

  136. I love your reaction & approach! You echo my own sentiments perfectly. I started blogging for myself & my family & friends that aren’t so near in location. However I got swept up in the concept of blogging to eventually make a living. I realized rather quickly that it went flying in the face of my time allowances. I didn’t need another stressor and certainly didn’t need another time suck. While I love it when I do receive comments (whether from family, RL friends or OL ones I’ve never met in person), I too realize that most people are just very busy keeping all their balls in the air. I know I am/ we are here. I think the guilt and apologies really stem from people wishing they had more time to do those things in their heart of hearts. Most likely having very little to do with any blogger’s real expectations. I’m just grateful for such a wonderful tool to share & learn from day and day out for everyone that frequents or writes a blog!
    Ella´s last [type] ..Benefit Auction Fun

  137. This is so good. I honestly never left comments on sites for a while because I didn’t feel worthy of it or thought my comments would only matter if I had a blog of my own. Now I realize how silly that was. I would never want anyone else to feel this way so why did I allow myself! ???

    Great post.

    ~ Kerry

  138. beautifully written…

  139. What a beautiful post. So lovely to ‘meet’ you.
    Vanessa´s last [type] ..Hello autumn

  140. And same goes for why some bloggers reply to each comment they get, and some don’t. I used to get a bit upset, that when I made the effort to comment on people’s blog posts and they never come back to reply to my comment! Of course, for some, they get SO many comments, how could they reply individually. For some, just finding the time to do the actual blog post is enough, they don’t have time or energy (or the inclination) to also reply to comments too. I try to be understanding, and lack of comments doesn’t stop me writing. Lack of any readers probably wouldn’t put me off either!

    I understand, though, I am both sides of the fence here, being a blogger and a blog reader. I came across this post from Picklebums (Facebook page) and could hardly not comment on such a well written post!
    dixiebelle´s last [type] ..:: Soup Swap ::

  141. I love the way the photo complements this post.
    Adina´s last [type] ..My Experience With Cloth Diapers

  142. What a relief; my anxiety went off before I started reading. Too often I cannot think of anything “clever” enough to say except this: thank you, merci, mahlo, gracias, arigato ….

  143. dixiebelle says:

    And sometimes, there are so many comments, people don’t bother leaving their own!!

  144. I’m one of the non commenters. I get so wrapped up in reading that I keep clicking on the other blog posts on the site.
    When I get to the end of a post, I’m usually hungry for more, so I just keep reading.

    I have no idea if people are reading my blog either. I just keep writing without worrying about it. I feel that God will lead the right people to the blog, and if anything there helps them, God will know, and I’ll hear Him say, “Well done!”
    Dean Mastern, Ph.D.´s last [type] ..Changing the Ending

  145. My gosh, I needed you today. This is great perspective too. I have this conversation with myself all the time about comments and no comments -both me taking the time to say something and others taking the time to say something on my blog. I’ve landed with this thought, I comment (hopefully) when I have something to meaningful to contribute or something touches me so much that I want to show gratitude (or another emotion). For my own blog, I take comfort in knowing that people come to read … and those who comment, I’m grateful to. And those who don’t comment, I hope that even though they don’t comment on the post that what they read made them think about experience differently and that they will share that thought with someone when they are ready. Even if it is only in their own minds … :) Thank you for being here.
    Amber Wendover´s last [type] ..High School

  146. I feel the same way! I don’t care if you don’t talk to me. I’m just glad you keep stopping by! Thanks for putting this into words!
    Gianna´s last [type] ..Avoiding is Nearly Impossible When You are Surrounded

  147. Thank you for this space for me to leave my thoughts. In a house with all males, it’s nice to know my comments may be better understood if I put them here. So my comment, basically, is thank you–for talking to and with me. I was led to your blog by Tsh, whom I have been reading (and occasionally commenting!) for years. It’s nice to have a girl-circle, even if we have never met.

  148. What a beautiful thing to write. I have stopped reading blogs because they have called non-commenting readers ‘lurkers’ – a word that, to me, feels hostile and unwelcoming. I rarely comment because, often times, my observation has already been commented on, sometimes multiple times, since I read my blogs in the evening (I live on the West Coast).
    Thank you for this.

  149. Thank you thank you. I now return to my anonymous status! tee hee :-)

  150. I no longer feel like a guilty stalker. Thank you!

  151. Well put! I love this.
    Jennifer @DreamingofJune´s last [type] ..8 Clocks to Count On

  152. Loved this post. I understand feeling guilty for not rating on Amazon when I rely on their ratings, but it had never occurred to me that there would be an obligation to comment on blogs. I always feel a bit self-indulgent for commenting — why would people care what I have to say (unless it’s incredibly insightful and clever, yet not know-it-all). Your blog actually gives me permission to comment more. Thanks!

  153. I must admit it bothers me a tiny bit when people I love have never commented on my blog but what can you do? I get the apologies also. In the end I am most grateful to have readers. The only time I really wish there were comments is when I need advice or could benefit from a discussion.
    Still, you can only do so much and need to enjoy writing the blog for writing’s sake.
    Rachel Wagner´s last [type] ..Preparing to Write My Story

  154. I love, love, love this. This might be one of three comments I’ve ever made on a blog. I’m a dedicated reader to many, but don’t have time to add my thoughts to each entry I read. I’ve felt guilty in the past from the underlying feeling that some blog writers insinuate that — when you don’t comment — you are some sort of swindler, stealing free content without justifying their readership for them to take their blog to the next level. Not sure that’s the impression they want to give but it’s the lingering feeling after reading some of them. Thanks for this!

  155. you bless me with your writing– thank you

  156. I am one of those who never comments–but I would so very much love to meet you in person (and not apologize, of course). Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing your writing in a public place where I can read and be encouraged for free and whenever I have time and even though I’ve never met you. What a world we live in.

  157. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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  159. The only hard thing about people failing to comment is sometimes I am sincerely looking for advice from my readers. As a single woman at times I am lonely for advice. :)

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