The escalator moves too slowly. I’m desperate to catch the bus. I’m asleep, but my mind doesn’t know that. All my mind knows is Dancing With The Stars is about to start and I’m definitely going to miss the star-shaped bus that take me to the studio.
Did I mention I’m asleep? And also that I don’t even watch Dancing With the Stars?
It’s just an example of the running-to-catch-up feeling I have lately. When I don’t acknowledge it in my waking, it swirls around in my dreams. My jaw is in a constant state of tight. It’s like my face is poised for a punch at a moments notice. I sit at my computer, check the email, sip the coffee, drive to the post office, stand in front of the flowers at the grocery store, and the whole time, I clench.
I think about Africa, the Philippines, North Carolina, and heaven. I think about politics and Jesus and American Idol and dinner. I think about the pool opening soon and also children who don’t have clean water. I think about pajama day at preschool and how I’m not sure I have any clean. I think about writing. I think about love.
Before he was crucified, Jesus told his disciples that it was better that he go away. They couldn’t imagine how it could be better for him to be gone, but Jesus doesn’t tell lies so they struggled through his truth. The truth didn’t feel true. That’s the way it is sometimes. But the truth is, the only thing better than having Jesus beside us is having Jesus within us.
“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever, that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.”
His life within us changes everything. And if it doesn’t, then we need to re-think some things. I’ve been doing some re-thinking lately. What have you been thinking about?
p.s. Excited about yesterdays response to the loosely organized book club this summer! Working on details and some ideas – will update you next week.