If you are in the US, I hope you enjoyed your fourth! Thanks for hanging in there through five weeks of reading – only three weeks left. This week we read two of my favorite chapters. Am I allowed to say that?
Learning to let go of the try-hard life feels, in some ways, like an oxymoron. Even though the concept of ‘letting go’ seems carefree and passive, the reality of actually letting go is anything but. Faith often only comes after a fight, after a long road of holding on, after an exhausting last-ditch effort at control. Most of us don’t let go until we’ve tried everything else first.
In the summer of 2000, I sat with my own hopeless confession, my own tired admission that I don’t know how to change. I couldn’t avoid a heartbreaking confrontation with my own fragile humanity. I sat there in that small counseling room of the rented office space right off the highway in Brentwood, Tennessee and waited to hear what my counselor would say to me.
All this mess and all these masks. “I don’t know how not to be this way.” My voice sounded small and defeated. I was embarrassed but too tired to care.
He listened, and then he spoke.
“This may be how you cope … “
…you hide when you get scared, you smile when you get hurt, you serve with a terrible attitude, you do what you don’t want to do, you don’t do what you do want to do, you are a hypocrite, a fake, a liar, and a bad commercial…
” … but this is not who you are.”
This is not who you are.
This is not who you are.
When he said you are a new creation in Christ, Paul wasn’t just giving 2nd grade Sunday school teachers an awesome visual. He wasn’t just providing week-long butterfly curriculum for Vacation Bible School. He didn’t actually mean “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is kind of a new creation, the old is sort of gone (but not really) and the new has pretty much come (except when you feel crummy, and then the old is totally back and the new has no power).”
At salvation, we are straight up new.
Don’t get ahead of me, though. There definitely was something old.
We have to see how bad it is. We have to know the ugly. We have to come face to face with our own deformities, cold-heartedness, apathy, and hatred. See how bad it is! Good girls of the world, admit what you are capable of. Your mask fools no one, not anymore. You are helpless and you are guilty.
But why do we, a people who celebrate a risen Christ, insist upon living like he is still dead? Why do we try hard to pay for our own sin (and expect others to try-hard to pay for their sins against us?) We live with veils over our masks over our painted up faces.
But all of that, as bad as it is, as bad as it was, all of that was taken care of. All of that was killed on the cross. Something new came to take its place. I know there are still remnants. I know we still sin. But sin no longer holds all the aces.
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Cor 4:15
I hear this scares people. They worry that if you go around telling people new things have come, then you might lose control over them (which is exactly the point). They say, “Well, grace is important. But you have to have a balance.”
Really? A balance?
So Jesus left heaven to walk on a balance beam with his arms spread wide out so that we would know what it looks like to perfectly balance grace with the law?
It’s actually even more extreme than that. Jesus says, I’ll see your balance and I’ll raise you mine.
He took the whole law, every bit of it, and met every requirement. Then, he stepped off that balance beam, turned it on its head, put another one across it, and let his accussors nail both his wrists into it.
You want balance?
How about all your wrong in exchange for all his right?
How about you hand him death and he hands you life?
Or is it the other way around?
I will tell you this – I have never been more faithful to read my Bible than since I have discovered this grace. I have never been more sorry for my sin than since I have discovered this grace. I have memorized more scripture in the past year than I have in perhaps my whole life. But it isn’t because I was afraid, pressured, anxious, or self-righteous.
It is because I am free.
It is because Someone took out my balance scales, held all of the law in one hand and all of grace in the other, and offered those hands-filled up to His Father and confessed, “It is finished.”
And so it is.
No more balance, friends. All. Is. Grace.
group discussion
I had an idea of what it meant to be a woman of God (a grown up) and my life was on a steady path in the opposite direction. What are some of your own ideas of what it means to be a woman of God and has this idea shifted at all as you’ve been walking with Christ?
The idea of receiving our identity from Christ and then letting it be true in our lives is easy to say but takes a lifetime to work out. If you really believed that the old is gone and the new has come, in what ways would your life be different? (Would you laugh more? Would you say yes to your kids more often? Would you dare to rest more often? Would you believe in miracles?)
book club information
- Get a copy of the book. It’s never too late to join us. (Amazon, B&N, LifeWay, Family Christian).
- Join the closed Facebook group where discussion is happening as we speak.
- Sign up for the book club if you haven’t already. If you already subscribe to get my monthly newsletter, simply update your preferences to include the book club.
- If you are on Twitter, we’ll use the hashtag #graceforthegoodgirl (unless you can tell me something shorter)
- If you have blog, consider writing your own post and hosting discussion with your readers. Link up to your post in the linky below.
Reading Schedule:
July 12 :: Chapters 13 – 14
July 19 :: Chapters 15 – 16
July 26 :: Chapters 17 – 18August 2nd:: If you are local-ish, we are planning an evening event in Greensboro, North Carolina at the end of our study. If your are close enough to make it live and in person, we’ll be meeting at Westover Church at 7pm on Thursday, August 2nd.
This is a triumph – brilliant and I love it. If you’re doing a talk at the gathering at the end, can you record it so we can join in who can’t be there?
That is an excellent idea. I’ll look into that! (and thank you)
I have often thought balance was an overrated word and for the last several days I’ve read several bloggers who have dealt with this issue. Even those in the business world understand the impossibility of balance. We’re even given an imperative in the Word…get off the fence, don’t be lukewarm… I was so blessed by this post. What a mighty God we serve. Marie
Marie´s last [type] ..Gifts
This: “I have memorized more scripture in the past year than I have in perhaps my whole life. ”
I’ve found this to be so true in my life. Because memorizing, taking the Word and making it more a part of who I am gives me the vocabulary to speak grace when I need it.
“He know knew no sin became sin for us so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Cor. 5:21
“By grace you have been saved, through faith and not by works. It is a gift of God so that one one can boast.” (My paraphrase) Eph 2:8-9
“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we have seen his glory, glory of the only son of the Father, full of Grace and truth…. and from his fullness we all have received grace upon grace.” John 1:14+
And when I say these words to myself and remember them throughout my day, I worship because of who He is and what He’s done and how grateful I am that I don’t have to be enough. And so now, it’s not an “I should memorize and be a good Christian girl.”
It’s this — God has done these great things and I want to have them ready to remember in all their fullness whenever I need them.
Emily, this post was worth the wait!
Eyvonne´s last [type] ..Choosing to trust what I know
I thought I was the only one who smiled when I hurt.
Nikole Hahn´s last [type] ..Book Review: Dragonspell
I’m amazed at how many years I spent fearing grace because I couldn’t control it. “All our wrong in exchange for all his right.” Beautiful, as always. I hope you had a refreshing week.
Sarah Van Beveren´s last [type] ..When You Feel Like A Fraud
Sarah, you put into words something I’m just starting to see and understand in my own life – “fearing grace because I couldn’t control it”. For good girls who try so hard to do life “right”, grace is such a radical concept – because it ultimately has nothing to do with us. Thanks for your comment!
Marcia´s last [type] ..learning to live truly free
It’s hard, right?? I only recently discovered that fear and control have been the dominating roots throughout my life.
And btw, you ARE a great writer!
Sarah Van Beveren´s last [type] ..Finding Your Art
Sarah – argh, now I feel silly! I just commented on your blog – your original “welcome” post – I went to it from the comment on my blog. Now I realize it’s you, who I was exchanging comments with here! Nice to “meet” you.
Your blog is wonderful!
Marcia´s last [type] ..learning to live truly free
Nice to meet you too! I see you’re from Grand Rapids. My husband is dutch. His parents met at Calvin!
Sarah´s last [type] ..Finding Your Art
I am officially behind and honestly have not been looking forward to re-reading Chapter 11. I think my “justice league” good girl is getting in the way. When I read this the first time, I got hung up on the scripture interpretation. I even emailed Emily for help! But I seem to be remembering that and forgetting that I did work out all the scripture stuff in a way that fit my theology and came to the same answers, the same grace-gifts, that Emily provided in these chapters.
And I will say this chapter has inspired me to do a full-on study of Romans (which I’ve been reading through as part of morning prayer and I’m really intrigued now).
So I guess I better pull up my big-girl panties (as they say) and get reading!
Leanne Shawler´s last [type] ..Prayer of St. Francis — all the posts
Love the freedom found in these chapters, Emily!
Hope you had a great holiday break.
And yes! to Anna’s suggestion – I would love if you could record the August get-together!
Kerry @ Made For Real´s last [type] ..grace for the good girl (freedom)
Love this post…i am leaning more every day about rhythm of grace…like this God-moment….the other day, I was driving to work and the Brandon Heath song, “The Light In Me” came on the radio…I’m singing along with Brandon and then suddenly, as if a voice was whispering in my heart, every time I sang the words of the song…”The Light”…what I heard in my spirit sounded like…”De Light”…so I sang along with these new lyrics… “You put De Light in me”… “You put DeLight in me”… Oh, yes, of course, “YOU put DELIGHT in me!” What a joy! What a revelation! God himself put DELIGHT in me…I love the Scripture Psalm 37:4…“Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I even wrote a blog post about it http://bethwillismiller.blogspot.com/2010/10/delight-yourself-in-lord.html
Now, I will never hear that song or read that Scripture again that I am not reminded of that moment, the ah-ha awareness of His Presence in my car with me as I drove to work and sang and listened to Him speak…It is not me who has to “work up” delight in the Lord, HE has already put DELIGHT in me
Beth willis miller´s last [type] ..the future is so bright…we gotta wear shades
Beth, what a cool story of how God spoke to you through a song. Thanks for sharing!
Marcia´s last [type] ..learning to live truly free
Extreme Grace. Amen! Thank you, Emily, for expressing this truth so eloquently!
The idea of trying to balance law and grace has kept me stuck for years. I was afraid to give up trying to keep my idea of what a good christian girl looked like (my own version of the law) because I thought it meant I wouldn’t grow. I couldn’t see that focusing on my own efforts to obey was the opposite of growth and life. I completely agree that now that I am acquainted with grace my relationship with the Lord is a joy rather than an expectation that hangs over my head.
I thought being a godly woman was all in the things I do and thought I had it all figured out by my freshman year in college. Then, a few years later, I became a wife and a mom and so many things had to change and I couldn’t keep the ideal up anymore. I’m learning that Jesus is better and I don’t have to. I am amazed at how extravagant God’s kindness is. And how unbalanced it really is. And that is a good thing.
Karen´s last [type] ..Grace for the Good Girl: Week 5
Karen – I had a similar experience as you – I thought I had everything all figured out in college. But becoming a wife and mom sure has shown me how much I can’t keep up the ‘good girl’ ideal, and how life is better when I live daily covered in His grace. I’m still learning how to really live in this freedom! So thankful for this online group this summer that has encouraged and spoken truth into my life on this journey!
Marcia´s last [type] ..learning to live truly free
So much better when “daily covered in His grace” Yes!
Thanks, Marcia!
Karen´s last [type] ..Grace for the Good Girl: Week 5
“He took the whole law, every bit of it, and met every requirement. Then, he stepped off that balance beam, turned it on its head, put another one across it, and let his accussors nail both his wrists into it.” This is beautiful writing, Emily.
Amy´s last [type] ..Summer Camp
These are two of my very favorite chapters. They are some of the chapters I once told you on Facebook are so dog-eared they should bark. (I should bring my copy to She Speaks just so you can see I really do mean that.)
Two quotes I love:
“Are you trying to be who Jesus wants you to be? Or do you trust him to bring out who he has already created you to be?” pg. 138
“He doesn’t sit at your table, feeble and frail, waiting for you to feed him by reading your Bible and praying. He stands strong at the head, graciously filling your plate with all that he is.” pg. 150 (love, love, love, love, LOVE)
Kimberly´s last [type] ..I Dare You
Emily, this is soo good and soo true!! I was just having a similar conversation with a friend of mine recently. She thinks she is still a slave to sin and it breaks my heart to hear people say that. NO!! We are new creations, we are no longer slaves to sin! How my heart yearns for people to know the truth, know what Christ died for, and know who they are because of Him. Thank you again for your book! You are a blessing!