I am on my knees, aware of God and my joints. Kneeling down low, my face in the carpet, I close my eyes to ignore the crumbs. My heart beats in my ears, I feel the earth pull my skin to the ground.
We don’t feel how urgent this pull down to the earth is when we’re right side up. It all feels normal until we spin it around the wrong way. I’m Phoebe Buffay and this gravitational pull feels more like a push.
There’s this puffy skin over my right eye that I try to convince myself will go away with proper sleep. But I’m coming to accept that no amount of sleep can knead this skin back into place and this hangover eyelid is here to stay.
Gravity doesn’t wave white flags.
This is a photo from the late 1920s, my grandmother as a girl with her parents, Dorothy and Dale. I know Dale looks like Dracula, it’s okay if you’re thinking that. I’ve always been told I resemble my grandma, her round brown eyes and straight across eyebrows. My son looks just like her, for those of you who know.
But there is something familiar in Dorothy’s eyes, something of age, of history, of puffy eyelids covering lashes. This woman, my great grandmother, lived.
The earth pulled her down the same way, fragile skin battling the wind, the sun, the laws of nature. She came as a miracle and lived as one, too, though I’m not sure she knew who to give the credit to.
Even miracles get wrinkles. Maybe especially miracles.
“Evan miracles get wrinkles”
My grandfather pastors our large church. He’s getting older, a little less current. The younger staff often is burdened by the tradition, the way things “have always been done.” Things need to be updated.
However, somehow, there is a piece of my heart that wants to cry out for respect, for understanding. The consistency, the life given, the time lived for these people, for this church – nothing could compare. We can’t get it until we’ve done it.
Our youth gives us passion, but wisdom is better. He’s got wisdom, and it only came with life, with sacrifice.
Love this. Thanks for sharing.
Sarah´s last [type] ..Putting Up Walls
What a lovely old photo! Since I work on my family tree, it is nice to see the people you are hunting for. My paternal grandfather is the only person I have photos of. Not one existing of anyone further back.
Your g-grandmother is beautiful, and yes, Dale is a little scary looking! He just forgot to smile.
Diane McElwain´s last [type] ..Standing Firm at Windy Ridge
I love this beautiful exploration of gravity through wrinkles and family resemblances and life lived. I love that I can laugh at your Dracula reference and feel the tenderness of your life connected to this grandmother who lived. Lived. Like you are. Like we are.
Ashley´s last [type] ..Taking a moment under the lines, under the sky
Especially the miracles ~ yes, I agree!
My grandparents and great-grandparents look so severe in many pictures of their early pictures, even though I know most weren’t in real life. I guess it’s because nobody smiled for pictures in those days?
Sweet words on this day, friend. Love you!
Kristen-Chasing Blue Skies´s last [type] ..When Teasing Gets Under Your Skin {and a Giveaway}
From one face-that’s-fighting-gravity to another, our weaknesses–the wrinkles and the foibles–they keep us “small.” {to borrow your phrase} That is always good. Also, genetics are crazy! You really do look like your grandmother.
Scooper´s last [type] ..Living Somewhere Between Plagues and the Promised Land
Ah, you do look like her. No, gravity doesn’t wave white flags. Your thoughts are where mine have been lately while looking through photographs of my parents for their 50th wedding anniversary coming soon (too soon). All the people in black and white were alive and young once. It’s harder to come to grips with the fact that my young parents aren’t quite so young anymore (even though Mama looks like she’s way younger than her 65 years. seriously.). It makes me stop, take a deep breath and appreciate the day I’m living right now.
Southern Gal´s last [type] ..Beach Shots
first off, you look JUST like your grandmother. Secondly, i love that phrase: “fragile skin battling the wind”
bekkah´s last [type] ..a few heartstrings
I know these eyelids you speak of…mine get a tiny amount of relief with enough sleep, to the point I can actually get the mascara on without getting it on my eyelids. I just keep reminding myself that I want to grow old gracefully and there is grace for these eyelids.
Tracey´s last [type] ..For the Love of Carrots
It is hard getting old and getting wrinkles. But I love how you said they truly are a miracles. Everyone’s life is a blessed miracle and wrinkles are an evidence of life lived.
Lisa´s last [type] ..Always Striving
As soon as I saw this picture, before reading the post, my first thought was that you looked so much like the little girl! And your great-grandmother was so beautiful! I love old pictures like this…I have several that I treasure, one of which is of my paternal grandmother. My sister gave me the restored picture of her when she was young, one of her and her sister at college. When I opened the gift, I thought for half a second it was a joke because the face in the picture looked exactly like my sister. I look at those old pictures (I have others of my great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother) and wonder what their lives were like. My grandmother was born in 1889 (she had my dad when she was 45!) and died in 1970, just after I was born. I would have loved to hear her stories.
Heathahlee´s last [type] ..Pin Peeves
You and grandma are TWINS. And I have the same right eyelid. Only the right. What gives???
Flower Patch Farmgirl´s last [type] ..Money Shot Monday
Your great-grandmother, Dorothy, is STUNNING.
Heather´s last [type] ..How to Implement an All-Cloth Kitchen
I look just like my Grandma Maybelle. I like to think that a part of her lives on in me, wrinkles and all.
Beautifully said, Emily. Keep chatting at the sky; keep sharing with the world. I love the view from your pen.
Shalom!
~elaine
elaine @ peace for the journey´s last [type] ..living life forward . . .
Elaine! Good to see you here – thanks for your kind words.
Dorothy is beautiful– your grandmothers little expression made me laugh. Funny to think of our grandmothers as petulant little girls! I couldn’t agree more. We should value the wrinkles. They speak to beauty and experience and wisdom and laughter… My face is so much more interesting with a few signs of experience! What a beautiful legacy, wisdom. I hope you were privileged to know her.
Christi Marcotte´s last [type] ..My Insecurities Are Contagious- My Daughter Caught Them!