a house-lover | chatting at the sky

state of a life

January 30, 2012

We watched the State of the Union address last week, and when I say watched I mean it was on for 10 minutes and then I turned it to American Pickers. But it’s the end of January, a good time to think about the state of where things are right now. My sister did a State of the Nest post last week and I thought how much I enjoy when bloggers I read pull back the curtain a bit and let us in to see things we don’t normally see. Consider the curtain pulled.

I am on a fast road to becoming more of an introvert than I already was. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I filled up a whole book with my own talk and now anyone, from strangers to neighbors can walk into any Barnes and Noble in the country and read it or if it is just part of getting older. But I am slowly beginning to hold my cards closer to my chest as the years are rolling on by.

I’m not saying that’s a bad or good thing, I’m just saying it’s true. I’m thankful for the friends who know me well. I’m craving simple moments with my husband. Silence and solitude are top on my list of things that keep me sane. My neighbor told me about a book that I can’t wait to read – Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. The title alone gave me freedom. It just released last week and is in the top 5 on Amazon so maybe some of you have read it or at least heard of it?

Some other books I’m reading? I’m on the last chapter of One Thousand Gifts. I know it’s been out for a year but I’ve read it with slow, thoughtful intention and now I don’t want it to end. I finished Parker Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak, a small book about learning to listen to your own design as you consider vocation. I’m also reading Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton. All of these books together are changing how I think in a good way. They are all hardcovers and I have taken the book jacket off all of them because I have a hate relationship with book jackets.

Here is my family last month. I have precious few photos of all of us together because I’m usually the one behind the camera. Our family albums are filled with my husband looking like a single dad – poor man raising all those children alone. I’m sure his wife was a lovely creature, God rest her soul. Lucky for me, my sister-in-law always insists I get in the pictures when she’s around so I have just enough photos to prove that I am, indeed, not dead or missing.

The twins are in second grade now, all loose teeth and long legs. Our son will start kindergarten in the fall and then a week after that they will all be driving and getting married because that is just the way things go. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

This spring I will be slash have been speaking at some events and retreats, perhaps adding to the introversion that is going on. The idea of standing on stages and talking makes me want to spend equal time hiding under tables, silent. But I am beginning to embrace the beauty and relevance of speaking out loud the messages that have come in the quiet. There is a different kind of aliveness that happens in those settings. It definitely keeps me dependent and small.

We are currently (as in, today) picking out covers for my second book, the one for teen girls. It is between two beautiful covers and I can’t choose so when I’m done with this post I’m going to print them out, put them both on my mantel, blindfold myself and pin the tail on the cover. I can’t wait to share the winner with you. It’s a great problem to have, two beautiful covers. It could easily be two awful covers and it isn’t. I really love Revell.

Speaking of mantel, remember my mantel before we moved in? Well there it is, in all it’s unpainted, dark paneling glory. I changed some things around this weekend. I took an hour and painted the wall of the mantel white and hung my black and white pictures.

Yes, that is the same house. If you are curious and haven’t been around here much, you can read more about how we knocked down the living room wall wall and painted the dark paneling. This mantel has been through a lot of change over the four years since we moved in. I predict more change in the future. But for now, we’ll let her rest.

I’m considering starting a little newsletter of sorts for anyone interested – just a free not-very-often update on the state of things. It will be a place to tell you of upcoming events, to share some things I may not share on the blog, to maybe offer downloadable photos, to perhaps ask for prayer. See I am very decisive on what this would be. With all the chattering email and other fun online-y things, I can’t imagine that would be something anyone would sign up for which is why I haven’t done it. But I am discovering sometimes I have things I want to tell you about but the blog doesn’t always seem like the best way to do it. Perhaps you have a better idea? I’m all ears. And that is not a joke about how much my ears stick out. Just so you know.

Filed Under a girl, a house-lover, faith 57 Comments

Christmas Tour of Homes 2011

December 14, 2011

One of my favorite things to do during the Christmas season is to drive around at dusk and try to look into people’s houses. I know it’s more polite to say “I’m looking at Christmas lights” but the truth is I’d much rather see what’s on the inside of those warm windows – the trees glowing in the corner, photos framed on the far wall, TVs playing It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s curbside Christmas stalking and it’s fantastic.

Though I don’t post about house-y stuff as much as I used to, I can’t resist joining in my sister’s Christmas Tour of Homes every year. It’s like standing on the curbside at dusk and having hundreds of people come out to their porches shouting, Merry Christmas and come on in! And so whether you decorate fancy or small, grand and colorful, or not at all, our homes are our haven and this time of year they are especially sweet to share.

“Setting the stage in our homes for us to celebrate Christmas with our families and in our hearts is no useless thing. I hope the effort you made works to bring your family closer and creates an atmosphere of rest and safety and belonging.” - The Nester

So this is me, standing on my front porch, welcoming you in. Now, it hasn’t snowed yet this year so I’m borrowing a photo from last year to kick off the tour. Enjoy the little walk through of our home here in December. I do hope your month has been restful and filled with joy.

The dog had to make it in here somehow.

In the kitchen, I decorate for Christmas by not decorating for Christmas. This way, there is empty counter space to roll out the dough for the cinnamon rolls we’ll make for Christmas Eve and to spread out the ingredients for the cookies my mom will make with the kids when she comes next week. Plus, the empty space here helps me breathe a bit more deeply.

Merry Christmas, friends.
If you would like to see more Christmas-y house photos, here are the links from the past three years:

Christmas Tour of Homes 2010
Christmas Tour of Homes 2009
Christmas Tour of Homes 2008

Don’t forget to visit Nesting Place to see hundreds of lovely, lived in Christmas homes.
And since you have permission, it doesn’t even count as stalking:

Thanks for visiting today! If you would like to know more about Chatting at the Sky, this would be a good place to start. If you like what you see, I want to invite you to subscribe for free and have new post delivered into your inbox. And Merry Christmas!

Tagged house Filed Under a house-lover 59 Comments

how de-cluttering helped us dream

March 11, 2011

For the last 10 years, my husband has struggled to dream. I would ask him the question, What are some things you dream about for the future? And I didn’t even mean job-type stuff, although that could have been a part of it. I just meant you know, whatever. He couldn’t answer the question. Simply, couldn’t. Oh, he would mention a couple of things, make a little joke about golf. But he couldn’t get out of practical. He didn’t really know how to dream.

I dream all the time. Maybe too much, actually. You know my chocolate shop by the sea? Well it is adjacent to my rolling, green hills and my English garden and all my herbs. And also my mountain. And my retreat center that was only a short bike ride away from the city. And my little cottage where I sit and write all my novels. In French. I am a crazy person. But do you want to know one of the things that began to make the difference for him to begin to dream legitimate, real things?

It was Simple Mom‘s book, Organized Simplicity. It isn’t a book about discovering your dreams or anything like that. Instead, it is the clutter-free approach to intentional living. And part of the approach is to define your family purpose statement.

And so while The Man sat and cleaned out the junk drawer in our kitchen, I sat with Tsh’s book and asked him the 20 questions she lists. As I listened to his answers, I heard him say things I had never heard him say before. Dream-like things. Calling-like things. Fearless things. And I am forever grateful to Tsh for writing a book that helped my husband and I talk more deeply about the intention of our living.

And so while The Man put our junk from the drawer into piles of pennies and rubberbands, we talked about what we believed. We put paragraphs around what is important to our family. We defined things, and re-defined things. And we still are.

Organized Simplicity is divided into two main parts – the first part encourages us how to think about the purpose for our families and our homes and the second part is a more practical, hands-on cleaning/de-cluttering the house. It is extremely detailed and Tsh outlines exactly what (and what not) to do. I have to admit, I didn’t make it all the way through this part of the book yet. Which is why I’m so excited about Project Simplify over at Tsh’s blog, Simple Mom.

It’s basically a five week hand-holding project. She reveals a hot-spot on Mondays (this week it was the closet – as in, my closet) and then on Fridays we can link up with our before and after photos.

While I wouldn’t normally participate in ~~showing the world my messy closet~~ projects like this, I am beginning to make the connection between the stuff I choose to hang onto and the dreams we have for our family. Sometimes they just don’t match up. And so, I’m jumping in and joining Tsh and many other Simple Mom readers in this challenge to organize five hot spots in five weeks. I may not post on it every week, but I will be quietly working away, losing stuff and gaining perspective.I know, they aren’t that much different. But I have a box filled with clothes to donate that says otherwise. One step at a time, friends. If you would like to join in on organizing some of your hot spots, check out Tsh’s latest post and be inspired.

**I was given this book for Christmas by my sister. I’m not being paid to say any of this stuff. Although, even if I were, it wouldn’t make any difference. I love this book. And also Tsh. Amen.

Filed Under a house-lover, a mess, a reader 31 Comments

let your home be your canvas

January 6, 2011

As we continue to consider the new year we now stand in, The Nester has turned the conversation about goals around to the home. I have a strange and fickle relationship with my home. It brings me a great sense of comfort – family, love, holidays, normal days, the kids toys, my pillow. I write from home, so I can walk into nearly any room and remember – there in the dining room was where I sat and labored over chapter 6, and then wrote it all at once in a flurry of inspiration. There in that chair at our Kmart kitchen table is where I cried in the middle of chapter 11, because I realized again that God is real and he want us to know it. For me, the rooms matter. The colors and the lighting matter. And putting energy and time into making home is a great joy for me.

But. Home can also be my greatest source of shame. When I have ideas to pretty her or to clean her, sometimes it seems I stop just short of making a real difference. Even though we just had a huge yard sale in October, it seems I all of a sudden have piles of things I no longer want or need. Why does this always happen?! And immediately the critical voice pipes in - Hey you there with all your January intentions – I know you want to be more organized, but it’s impossible. So give up already.

Shame doesn’t have to speak too loud. A whisper when I open the junk drawer is enough – failure. And I grab the gum I’m looking for and chew it hard and angry, wishing I could get a handle on that drawer but believing the voice of shame instead – impossible.

And so my goal for my home this year? I want to change the voice I listen to. And I want to change my mind about “organized.” I don’t want to just get rid of stuff in order to be organized, I want to get rid to make room for something else. Namely, the art.

I believe this year will be one of creativity, of daring to let go of the burden of my own insecurities and allow God to uncover the imprint of his image on me. It is easy to compartmentalize goals and to think that this pull I have toward making art this year is unrelated to the desires I have for my home. But I think that would be a mistake.

Thinking of it this way changes the conversation for me. When my stuff is cleared out, my head is cleared out, too. If I think of it as a clearing out for clearing outs sake, I will lose steam, and fast. But if I think of my home as a canvas for the art I want to create, well that’s another thing altogether. I want to make time and space for the art, and that means getting rid of some scissors.

As we think about the coming year, it is good to remember that January is no different from November. That worry and fatigue and the ever dreaded funk will show up in even in the middle of the best intentions. It helps me to remember Natalie Goldberg, who made it a goal to write everyday. But also said, if she doesn’t meet that ideal, she is “careful not to pass judgement or create anxiety” because no one lives up to their ideals. We don’t have to live up to them perfectly. But it helps to have them. Thanks to my sister for giving me the opportunity to think this one through.

Filed Under a house-lover, inspired 35 Comments

Christmas Tour of Homes

December 13, 2010

This year, I’ve done a little less in the way of Christmas decor. The snow last weekend made up for it, though. I love the way it covers every inch of our yard. No branch is left untouched. Creation is the best kind of inspiration. I’m joining my sister’s Christmas Tour of Homes this year, where everyone can link up at her site to share photos of our homes. With that, I welcome you to mine!

I’m a homebody, so I spend a lot of time here – sitting on the couch with the kids, writing at my kitchen table, standing at the sink, folding clothes in the laundry room. I love home. I’m thankful for the opportunity to share little snapshots of it, of those little touches that remind us that it’s December.

These trees grow in our yard that sprout red berries. In December. It is fantastic. It’s hard to pass up red berries in your yard at Christmas time. So I broke a few off and brought them inside.

And also these? Some of them ended up on my mantle, as you can see below.

I would love to show you more, but honestly this is about all we’ve done. What about you? If you have a post that shows your Christmas home, link up with The Nester today at her Christmas Tour of Homes! And while you’re at it, you can also link up with Kelly at Kelly’s Korner for her tour. Twice the fun. We’d love to see.

Filed Under a house-lover 53 Comments

everybody’s talking about stuff

September 17, 2010

I am a sentimental stuff holder-onto-er. I attach value to inanimate objects, much more value than I should. And it’s kind of embarrassing to admit the twinge of fear I have in this process of going through and letting go.

This summer while the kids were with my parents, I cleaned out the playroom and got rid of two van-loads of things. The women at the donation place asked me if my kids knew I was getting rid of their stuff. Heavens no. When they got home, they didn’t miss one single thing. In fact, they thanked me for cleaning. (!!!)

On October 2, my sister, my mom and I are having a yard sale. Kimba and my sister have both posted about their stuff recently. In fact, my sister had so much interest in some of the things she’s selling that she decided to put a few things on e-bay. They aren’t just any few things. They are Vintage Nesting Place things. But all of her other things will be at the sale. Several SUV loads of things.

We do yard sales almost every year, and when they’re over, I always swear and promise and vow I will never do one again. But there is just enough time in between them that I forget the pain and only remember the good parts. Kind of like having a kid.

This year, I’m not just selling the junk. I mean, I’m selling the junk, but I’m also selling more than just the junk. I’ve been thinking a lot about stuff, about the things I have and the things I love. I have a lot more things than I love, but I also love a lot of the things I have. So this year, I’m selling the things I don’t want, but I’m also selling some of the things I love-ish. It was painful at first, to go through some of the twins baby clothes, to pull out that cute skirt I bought in Spain (but haven’t worn in four years), to realize I have 4 too many apothecary jars, to let go of the clock that I love but have no place to put. So I took my sister’s advice: just price it and put in the yard sale pile. Then see how you feel.

And you know what? I feel good. I thought I would go back out to the garage and pull out things to bring back in the house. But I haven’t and I don’t think I will. This lightness breeds a longing for less. I think I could get used to it.

If you are local-ish, the bi-annual neighborhood yard sale will be at my parent’s house in Lake Park.

Not that you need more stuff, but you know what they say about one man’s trash.

Filed Under a house-lover, a mess 41 Comments

monday light on tuesday morning

September 7, 2010

When we first walked through this house, my least favorite thing about it was the darkness. Dark ugly paneling, cornice boards on the windows, dark paint colors, vertical blinds, and lots of trees. Just dark. One of the first things we did was rip down all those cornice boards and open the windows wide.

Today, one of my favorite things about this house is the light. The back of the house gets morning light, perfect for our sunroom. So in the evenings, we get a warm, golden light on the front of our house.

Since we knocked that wall down in our living room, the evening light spills all the way across and it is my favorite place in the world to be. I knew this was the house we were to buy, but at first I wasn’t happy about it. Too dark. Too depressing. Too dated. But we’ve made it home, so much so that I hope we never have to leave it.

Is there a gift that didn’t start out that way? Are there small, subtle gifts in your hands even now? The guidelines for Tuesdays Unwrapped are here. In summary, link up with the permalink to your unwrapped post, or your link will be deleted. I would also ask, as a courtesy, that you would please link back here to Chatting at the Sky by either using the button or a text link somewhere in your post. Thank you.

Filed Under a house-lover, Tuesdays Unwrapped 22 Comments