“Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

Romans 8:24-25

Yesterday I invited you to share some of the things you are focusing on in your homes, blogs, businesses or relationships. Many of you mentioned both something you hope for and some way it scares you: introverts making plans to open up; writers wanting to write more; mothers longing to release their tight grip of control. Some of you have hope that can’t be articulated with words but you know the familiar simmer of hope and  scary  in your heart.

If you’ve read my book or this blog for any amount of time, then you know that my dad is an alcoholic. He says he drank three quarts of beer a day for fourteen years. It’s important for me to follow that sentence with this one: he has been sober for over twenty years, loves Jesus, and has good sense. But the use and abuse of alcohol is part of our family history, for better or worse.

 It seems to me the people most qualified to talk about hope are the ones who have been hopeless and lived to tell about it. Dad knows hopeless. Yet, he lives. And now he’s telling about it.

Back in October he wrote 31 Days of Scary Hope. Now, he has expanded and refined that series into a free ebook. It’s called Scary Hope: Courage and a kick to hug hope, face fear, and get going. I’ve read it. Twice. Both times, I cried at different parts. Not because it was sad, but because it was true.

Hope, wonderful hope! The bright sun in the morning, the ring of twelve-string guitars, fresh red strawberries, sleeping puppies, giggling babies, inspiring choruses that never end, and the way the air smells giddy on a surprising warm afternoon in March after a long frozen winter. That’s how your dream of fulfilled hope feels, only better. But first, the scary. Do you really want change? You know you have a longing, a hope. Maybe you don’t even know exactly what it looks like. But you yearn and you dream for something beyond your reach. You have the hope, but do you want the change?

Gary Morland, Scary Hope

If you can’t quite articulate your hope yet, might I recommend Scary Hope? Dad is a storyteller, a noticer, and an encourager. His words help me see things. And as a bonus for you who may be or know an alcoholic, you can read the first two chapters of his story, From Beer to Eternity, at the end of Scary Hope.

my Mom and Dad

I’m really excited about this book, not just because of what it says but because of what it represents to me personally. My parents do not come from a long line of believers. They come from brokenness, addiction, and fear. And yet. They put their trust in a God who takes great delight in making beauty out of ash, so now we have a new heritage as a family. God is doing a new thing and because of this scary hope, I have a different and redeemed story to hand to my children and to my grandchildren. And so can you.

It takes just a few seconds to download the PDF of Scary Hope for free and read it on your computer. It may be about an hour to read. I just realized I’ve called him Dad this whole post. His name is Gary and you can read his blog or follow him on twitter @garedog919. And also? How cool is it that my dad, my sister and I have blogs? Useless trivia – which one of us do you think was the first to start one?

I dream all the time. Maybe too much, actually. You know my chocolate shop by the sea? Well it is adjacent to my rolling, green hills and my English garden and all my herbs. And also my mountain. And my retreat center that was only a short bike ride away from the city. And my little cottage where I sit and write all my novels. In French. I am a crazy person. But do you want to know one of the things that began to make the difference for him to begin to dream legitimate, real things?

It was Simple Mom‘s book, Organized Simplicity. It isn’t a book about discovering your dreams or anything like that. Instead, it is the clutter-free approach to intentional living. And part of the approach is to  define  your family purpose statement.

And so while The Man sat and cleaned out the junk drawer in our kitchen, I sat with Tsh’s book and asked him the 20 questions she lists. As I listened to his answers, I heard him say things I had never heard him say before. Dream-like things. Calling-like things. Fearless things. And I am forever grateful to Tsh for writing a book that helped my husband and I talk more deeply about the intention of our living.

And so while The Man put our junk from the drawer into piles of pennies and rubberbands, we talked about what we believed. We put paragraphs around what is important to our family. We defined things, and re-defined things. And we still are.

Organized Simplicity is divided into two main parts – the first part encourages us how to think about the purpose for our families and our homes and the second part is a more practical, hands-on cleaning/de-cluttering the house. It is extremely detailed and Tsh outlines exactly what (and what not) to do. I have to admit, I didn’t make it all the way through this part of the book yet. Which is why I’m so excited about Project Simplify over at Tsh’s blog, Simple Mom.

It’s basically a five week hand-holding project. She reveals a hot-spot on Mondays (this week it was the closet – as in, my closet) and then on Fridays we can link up with our before and after photos.

While I wouldn’t normally participate in showing the world my messy closet projects like this, I am beginning to make the connection between the stuff I choose to hang onto and the dreams we have for our family. Sometimes they just don’t match up. And so, I’m jumping in and joining Tsh and many other Simple Mom readers in this challenge to organize five hot spots in five weeks. I may not post on it every week, but I will be quietly working away, losing stuff and gaining perspective.I know, they aren’t that much different. But I have a box filled with clothes to donate that says otherwise. One step at a time, friends. If you would like to join in on organizing some of your hot spots, check out Tsh’s latest post and be inspired.

**I was given this book for Christmas by my sister. I’m not being paid to say any of this stuff. Although, even if I were, it wouldn’t make any difference. I love this book. And also Tsh. Amen.

I’ll be sure to take some photos of the two of them together. Because I know that the week before Christmas you have nothing better to think about than my ridiculous dog playing with his perfect sister.

In other news, the winners of Annie Down’s book, From Head to Foot are Emily, Rachel, Teryn, and Della. If your name is Emily or Teryn and you have not gotten an email, then you are probably not the Emily or Teryn winners. If you didn’t win the book, I’ve got good news for you!

Annie has graciously decided to offer an exclusive 15% discount on her book to readers of Chatting at the Sky if you order before Monday at 5pm, CST. Simply go here to buy the book and enter the code: CHATTINGATTHESKY. So many of you have such wonderful ideas for this book and who to give it to, now is your chance to get it a little bit cheaper-ly. So if you didn’t win, you still win! Kind of.

From Head to Foot: All of You Living All for Him is a devotional that reads like a memoir, written for high school and college aged girls. Annie has held nothing back. I cried half-way through page one, Chapter One. I laughed out loud on page 28. This book is so Annie. If you know her, you’ll know. And if you don’t know her, you will.

“When it came time to crown the queen, I almost fell over when they called my name. Me. Annie Downs. The ugly fat girl just won homecoming queen? I teared up and waved and hugged my daddy. I held the flowers and smiled for the newspaper photographer. And when I got home I cried. All by myself, lying on my bed, still wearing that heavy beaded dress. Because in my mind, I heard this: You won because everyone felt sorry for you. They voted for you because you are ugly, not pretty.“

-Annie Downs, From Head to Foot

She says out loud the lies we all think. And then she walks girls through what it means to replace those lies with truth. I know everyone who reads this will think she is talking directly to them, but secretly I know she’s talking to me. It reads like a conversation. A sweet, funny, honest, friendly, and interesting conversation. This is a great book to use in a small group setting or to read individually. You will want this book for the high school girl in your life. Really and truly.

Today, I have four copies of Annie’s book to giveaway!

Simply leave a comment below and tell us who you would like this book for. And it’s totally okay to say you want it for yourself. You do not have to have a blog or website to win. But be sure to leave your email address (seen only by me) so I can get in touch with you if you win. I’ll announce and notify the four winners on Saturday, December 18. Hope you win! After you enter, go say hi to Annie and give her a good ‘atta girl. This book writing business can be tough on the nerves!

It took courage and brave for him to take an honest look and realize he wanted his life to tell a better story. Courage is a funny thing. Sometimes it means taking the risk to do that big thing, knowing you could fail but facing it anyway. Other times, courage means saying no, bowing out, staying seated when it seems like you should stand. When you say yes to things, you automatically say no to other things whether you mean to or not.

I’m becoming more aware of my yes’s and my no’s. Saying yes to leading a girls small group was actually saying no to being in a women’s small group of my own. Saying yes to writing books came with a bucket full of no’s. When I said yes to writing, I actually also said no to being a sign language interpreter, being room mom in my girls’ classroom, spending hours at Target while the kids are in school, and pursuing photography for money or fun.

And since it’s Tuesday, it’s worth mentioning that saying no to Tuesdays Unwrapped is actually saying yes to something else. If you’re wondering what, so am I. I’ll keep you posted. But the bottom line is saying yes and saying no are the basis for everything we do. Every yes has a no automatically attached. We run into problems when we forget that, and we try to say yes to the yes’s and yes to the no’s, too. It’s when we feel the world spin too fast and when it feels like everything is up against us, like slow traffic and engine lights and sick babies and lines at the post office. Those things are overwhelming enough, but even more so when we’re trying to live a yes-life with too few no’s.

At the same time, it is possible to get stuck in the no’s, to be afraid of yes because of failure or embarrassment or worry or whatever. Or saying no to hard things just because they’re hard. Saying no to faith is actually saying yes to fear. I do it all the time, though I don’t like to think of it that way.

What we say yes and no to shape our stories, for better or worse. Are you aware of your yes’s and your no’s?

After Blissdom that year, I began to read her blog, Reluctant Entertainer, and I loved her even more. She writes about inviting people into your home and being available to host, not to impress but to love; not to just feed their stomachs, but to feed their soul. Reading Sandy, I began to almost believe I could be that type of hostess too, the type who focused on others rather than worrying about vacuumed floors and perfect pasta.

Yesterday I wrote about the joy it is for me to have close friends over for dinner every week and Friday I will start my series on 31 Days of Grace. I’m excited to have this giveaway today because Sandy’s heart is really the bridge between hosting dinner for friends and remembering to give and receive grace in the process. Consider these words from Sandy’s book:

“Simple entertaining combined with some inspiration can create spiritual monuments in our lives. It not only gives us hope, but it teaches us the benefits of moving forward and not looking back. It is a beautiful gift without a price tag.” The Reluctant Entertainer

Today, Sandy’s publisher, Bethany House, is offering two chances to win a book. So two lucky winning commenters will each get one. Trust me, you want to win this one. When I got it in the mail, I just wanted to carry it around the house with me. It is a substantial, beautiful, hardcover book filled with glossy, colored pages of simple recipes, tangible inspiration, gentle advice, and lots of encouraging personal stories and photos.

How to enter

Easy. Simply leave a comment at the bottom of this post by clicking comments and then enter your name, email (seen only by me and necessary so I can contact you if you win), and your blog or website if you have one. If not, you can leave that line blank. I will leave the giveaway open until Friday morning when I will announce the two winners. I hope you are one of them! But if not, you may purchase Sandy’s book here or put it on your Amazon Wish list here. And after you come to see if you won on Friday, be sure to visit Sandy as she begins her 31 Days Series as well: 31 Days to Stress-Free Entertaining. I can’t wait for it!

this giveaway is now closed.

After all, we are both people. Before blogs and twitter, movie stars and TV people and book writers and news anchors seemed so untouchable. But now, you can read a writer’s book, follow them on Twitter, and comment on their blog. Just like that, you realize there is a human person behind all that stuff. And you can connect.

That is one reason why I love to talk about books written by people I know in real life. Because they are friends, they are mothers, they are wives and sisters and people. That is why I am excited to introduce you to Marybeth Whalen.

You may know her from her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen (yes, she has six kids), or from the Proverbs 31 Ministries team. That is how I know her. Last year at She Speaks, she was the lucky P31 team member assigned to introduce me and my sister, so she had to sit through our entire session. Since then, her debut novel The Mailbox was released, and I read it. Of course.

In it, Linsday Adams makes her first trip to the Kindred Spirit mailbox when she is only fifteen. Over the next twenty years, she continues to come back to Sunset Beach and write to the Kindred Spirit letters about dreams come true and dreams yet to be lived. Between the husband who leaves her and the first love who reappears in her life, Lindsay has choices to make that require both risk and faith.

The Mailbox has all the elements of a great read: the familiar flutter of young love, the sharp pain of betrayal, the longing that comes after heartbreak, and the beauty found in redemption. One thing I appreciate about this book is that Marybeth did not write Christian characters with fluffy flaws. These people seem real to me, with authentic insecurities and believable emotion.

Perhaps that is why, when I saw Marybeth again this year at She Speaks, I had to stop myself from calling her Lindsay and asking her how life was going on Sunset Beach. If I would have written about it earlier in the summer, I would tell you to be sure to pack this book with you in your beach bag. But since summer is basically over, I will recommend it as a great just-before-bed read. It is an easy book to get right into. I took it with me on a flight I had to take alone this summer and nearly finished it by the time we landed. I thank Marybeth for getting this anxious flier through some rough turbulance. I hardly noticed it.

When I chatted with Marybeth about how very much I admire fiction writers, she told me that a friend told her to write the book she would want to read. And so she did.

Would you like to read it, too? Simply leave a comment at the bottom of this post by Wednesday to enter to win a copy of The Mailbox. Otherwise, you can go here to buy a copy or to read more about the book.

The winner of my extra copy of Mary DeMuth’s book Thin Places is Star Forbis. Congrats! Check your inbox.

Sometime last week, this came in the mail. If you haven’t read this post about how I saw Mary DeMuth at She Speaks and didn’t get her to sign my book, you may not know the sigificance of this. But Mary read the post and offered to send me my very own signed copy of her memoir. And she didn’t only offer, she actually did it. I smiled all the way from the mailbox.

I have more to say, but ironically, I won’t be saying it here. I am guest posting over at Mary DeMuth’s site today and sharing about a thin place in my life. Join me there and tell Mary hello?

P.S. Now, I have two copies of Thin Places. Does anyone want my first copy? Leave a comment and I’ll draw a name and send it to you!

W
e like books. We have stacks this high on our bedside tables. Part of that is because we read, but another part of that is because we don’t read. As in, we start but we don’t finish. He never reads fiction. As in, never. No time, ever does he read fiction. He loves story, but not a whole book of it.

I read non-fiction, but never one at a time. A chapter of this one, a paragraph of that one. I’m sort of non-committal when it comes to non-fiction. Which, as I think of it now, doesn’t bode well for me since I’m writing a non-fiction book. Because fiction? I love fiction. A good fiction book is like a secret addiction. I can’t just read a little bit every night before I go to bed. I have to read it every free minute until I’m finished. I don’t read fiction very often. It isn’t good for my marriage. (Do you think I can say ‘fiction’ one more time in this post? Fiction?)

What about you? Do you read mainly fiction? Non-fiction? People magazine? The back of the cereal box? Do tell.

I know that I tend to find my favorite blogs from the blogs of my other favorite blogs. On my last post, I mentioned how my blog is pretty much un-Googleable. And many of you mentioned how yours is as well. That means the only way for you to connect with each other is through each other. It isn’t finished yet, but you can find some of my favorite blog writers, photographers, home bloggers, mamas and truth tellers under ‘featured’ at the top of this page. I wanted a place where I could put events that were coming up as well as other blogs I love. Featured was the word we came up with for that. Let me know if you have any better ideas.